Half of What I Used to Be
Shadow Knight
Chapter 2: Anxiety
Disclaimer: No.
~
Wow. . . I'm just shooting out these chapters now. . . Cool. ^_^ Well, I've updated Dancing in the Dark and Broken and now this one. I'll probably shoot out another one soon. Maybe. ^_^
_NOTE_: Here's your first clue!
~
The sky looked a bit darker than usual today. Or perhaps that was my attitude? I couldn't truly tell the difference. My mind was too frenzied and scrambled to even care.
This morning I had nearly lost myself in the frantic thoughts of my mind. Staring down at my hands, I saw only bloodstained hands. No one else would see, but I knew. . . . yes. . . I knew what had happened. Was it right?
No. . . .
But I liked it. . . ..
It caused the adrenaline to pump in my veins, coursing through my body. . . . It was exhilarating!
. . . . Now the rush was over. . .
Now I had to deal with the consequences for what I had done. . . .
I felt a grin crack along my face.
. . . . But it sure had been fun. . . .
. . . Killing. . .
~
As I passed along the street, vendors threw their arms, waving at all customers to come and taste "this sweet delicacy," or sample some of their "home remedy." It was all a load of bull, but no one cared. They moved along like herds of cattle, stirring as one group.
All of them. . . stupid. . .
Unfortunately, I did have to stop and pick up some things and mingle with these droning fools. I quickly shoved my way here and there, trying not to touch people. There was something in my heart that scared me. I was afraid of touching them.
If I did. . . they might figure out what I did. . . .
Suddenly the crowd seemed like a suffocating presence, squeezing at me from all sides. My palms began to grow clammy as I flicked my eyes back and forth at the crowd, desperately trying to get away. . . I had to get away. . . .
I had to get out!. . . . . No. . . I had to stop. . . I wasn't being good. . . .
Closing my eyes, I took several deep breaths. The air filtered in my lungs like smoke, poisoning and yet intoxicating. I coughed a few times, pushing out the bad air. Looking around, I looked for someone smoking.
But I saw no one. . . .Why was the air so bad? Why did it taste like poison on my lips?
Trying to ignore the noxious fumes in the air, I made my way further into the crowd, searching for the vegetable stands. There they were! Quickly I dashed to the stand, desperate to get this over with and get rid of the phobia that consumed me with maddening pulses. Picking carefully among some mushrooms, I picked a few deftly from the pile and stuffed them jerkily into a bag.
Looking up, I saw the vendor eyeing me warily. Stupid bastard, I thought, gathering my things, stop staring at me and do your stupid work. No. . . .he was staring at me because of my movements. . .wasn't he? Moving my eyes from his questioning face, I stared down at my hand that continued to twitch and pick at the bunch of mushrooms.
Watching it, I felt a sudden throng of fear swell inside me. It. . . it was moving on its own. . . .
Hands don't move on their own. . . .They had to be controlled. . . .
Then why was mine moving. . . by itself?
No! I was letting it get to me! I grabbed my right hand with my left and forcibly shoved it away from the mushrooms. Pocketing it, I grabbed my bag and walked calmly up to the vendor. I placed my bag in front of him and mumbled a small word about "hand spasms" and "I forgot my medicine."
He nodded slowly as if acknowledging what I said and turned to ring up the price. I didn't need to be a genius to see that he didn't believe me. I didn't give a shit really. Screw him if he didn't believe my story, I didn't truly care.
"Oh my! Well, hello. I haven't seen you in a while."
The hairs on the back of my neck stood high as I heard the soft sing-song voice behind me. Turning curtly, I felt my eyes widen and my heart pound against my chest. It hurt. . . It hurt bad. . .
Clenching fingers to my palms, I forced a crooked grin on my face and smiled at her. Her sunny face gleamed back at me like a predatory hawk. A trickle of sweat ran down my forehead. I had to get away from her. . . . She was. . . She was trying to find me out!
"Hello, Tendo-san. I'm. . .I'm sad to in. . inform you, but I must be going. I don't . . . don't have time to chat."
Her soft eyes seemed to pierce through me, setting a flame of warning through me. Vile bitch. . . . she was trying to make me break. . . She was trying to crack my fortified wall. . .
"I'm sad to here that. Maybe I'll see you around here some other time. Until then, good-by."
Gathering my change from the vendor I gave her a quick smile and bowed. "Until then."
Snatching my bag, I hurried out of the shopping area, my breath coming out in short gasps. Clutching a hand to my face, I wiped away the sweat and tried to calm down. My heart still thundered against my chest. I walked slowly toward a darkened alley. Covered by the darkness, I leaned against the wall and closed my eyes.
Soon my legs gave out from under me and I slid downwards toward the grimy ground. "Dammit," I muttered to myself, "I've got to be more careful."
Suddenly, I felt a small plop smack me lightly on my nose. Looking up, I put my dirtied hands up and felt several more small smacks. A dark cloud swirled in the sky and dropped its load.
So. . . .it's raining. . . . Filthy water. . . Yes. . . very filthy. . . .So much like my hands. . . .
Bringing my hands to my face, I closed my eyes and licked the water in my palms.
Very dirty. . . . but very good. . . . . .Looked bad. . . . but it tasted wonderful. . . ..
So much like me. . . . .
~
That night as I lay in my bed, eyes wide open, I stared at my ceiling. I never noticed how it had looked. Most interesting. . . . .
Darkness surrounded me in my small room. But I didn't mind. . . The darkness was very comforting. . . .It was like an old friend. . . . I thrived in it. ..
Suddenly, I heard a faint scream pierce the night's silence like a knife. It was far, but not too far. . . . My lips turned up in a grin.
They must have found it. . . the corpse.
Oh well, I thought, They would've found it sooner or later. I suppose the rain pushed the body up a few feet from the ground.
Smiling to myself, I closed my eyes and smiled deeper as I heard several more horrified cry slice the silence in half.
I wonder if they've found the broken fingers. . . .
Maybe they first saw the bashed skull. . ..
Or perhaps the missing eyeless sockets. . . .
With a pleasant grin on my face, I felt sleep overtake me as the pained wails soared through the air and rock me to sleep like a gentle lullaby.
~
Yikes. That was getting a little TOO creepy for me. Do you think I should stop? I haven't done one this creepy before. . . .
Well you tell me in your nice little reviews, hmm?
Anywho, for those of you reading, I really hope you can guess who the killer found and who gets knocked off the list of suspects AND victims. If you REALLY can't figure it out, I'll tell you in my notes in the next chapter. I can't mention names as the clues. They come in either distinct possessions, phrases, or actions that are common to the character.
Well, that's the end of that.
Ciao. ^_~
P.S. TerraEpon-Your assumption is absolutely. . . . . . . WRONG!!!
Shadow Knight
Chapter 2: Anxiety
Disclaimer: No.
~
Wow. . . I'm just shooting out these chapters now. . . Cool. ^_^ Well, I've updated Dancing in the Dark and Broken and now this one. I'll probably shoot out another one soon. Maybe. ^_^
_NOTE_: Here's your first clue!
~
The sky looked a bit darker than usual today. Or perhaps that was my attitude? I couldn't truly tell the difference. My mind was too frenzied and scrambled to even care.
This morning I had nearly lost myself in the frantic thoughts of my mind. Staring down at my hands, I saw only bloodstained hands. No one else would see, but I knew. . . . yes. . . I knew what had happened. Was it right?
No. . . .
But I liked it. . . ..
It caused the adrenaline to pump in my veins, coursing through my body. . . . It was exhilarating!
. . . . Now the rush was over. . .
Now I had to deal with the consequences for what I had done. . . .
I felt a grin crack along my face.
. . . . But it sure had been fun. . . .
. . . Killing. . .
~
As I passed along the street, vendors threw their arms, waving at all customers to come and taste "this sweet delicacy," or sample some of their "home remedy." It was all a load of bull, but no one cared. They moved along like herds of cattle, stirring as one group.
All of them. . . stupid. . .
Unfortunately, I did have to stop and pick up some things and mingle with these droning fools. I quickly shoved my way here and there, trying not to touch people. There was something in my heart that scared me. I was afraid of touching them.
If I did. . . they might figure out what I did. . . .
Suddenly the crowd seemed like a suffocating presence, squeezing at me from all sides. My palms began to grow clammy as I flicked my eyes back and forth at the crowd, desperately trying to get away. . . I had to get away. . . .
I had to get out!. . . . . No. . . I had to stop. . . I wasn't being good. . . .
Closing my eyes, I took several deep breaths. The air filtered in my lungs like smoke, poisoning and yet intoxicating. I coughed a few times, pushing out the bad air. Looking around, I looked for someone smoking.
But I saw no one. . . .Why was the air so bad? Why did it taste like poison on my lips?
Trying to ignore the noxious fumes in the air, I made my way further into the crowd, searching for the vegetable stands. There they were! Quickly I dashed to the stand, desperate to get this over with and get rid of the phobia that consumed me with maddening pulses. Picking carefully among some mushrooms, I picked a few deftly from the pile and stuffed them jerkily into a bag.
Looking up, I saw the vendor eyeing me warily. Stupid bastard, I thought, gathering my things, stop staring at me and do your stupid work. No. . . .he was staring at me because of my movements. . .wasn't he? Moving my eyes from his questioning face, I stared down at my hand that continued to twitch and pick at the bunch of mushrooms.
Watching it, I felt a sudden throng of fear swell inside me. It. . . it was moving on its own. . . .
Hands don't move on their own. . . .They had to be controlled. . . .
Then why was mine moving. . . by itself?
No! I was letting it get to me! I grabbed my right hand with my left and forcibly shoved it away from the mushrooms. Pocketing it, I grabbed my bag and walked calmly up to the vendor. I placed my bag in front of him and mumbled a small word about "hand spasms" and "I forgot my medicine."
He nodded slowly as if acknowledging what I said and turned to ring up the price. I didn't need to be a genius to see that he didn't believe me. I didn't give a shit really. Screw him if he didn't believe my story, I didn't truly care.
"Oh my! Well, hello. I haven't seen you in a while."
The hairs on the back of my neck stood high as I heard the soft sing-song voice behind me. Turning curtly, I felt my eyes widen and my heart pound against my chest. It hurt. . . It hurt bad. . .
Clenching fingers to my palms, I forced a crooked grin on my face and smiled at her. Her sunny face gleamed back at me like a predatory hawk. A trickle of sweat ran down my forehead. I had to get away from her. . . . She was. . . She was trying to find me out!
"Hello, Tendo-san. I'm. . .I'm sad to in. . inform you, but I must be going. I don't . . . don't have time to chat."
Her soft eyes seemed to pierce through me, setting a flame of warning through me. Vile bitch. . . . she was trying to make me break. . . She was trying to crack my fortified wall. . .
"I'm sad to here that. Maybe I'll see you around here some other time. Until then, good-by."
Gathering my change from the vendor I gave her a quick smile and bowed. "Until then."
Snatching my bag, I hurried out of the shopping area, my breath coming out in short gasps. Clutching a hand to my face, I wiped away the sweat and tried to calm down. My heart still thundered against my chest. I walked slowly toward a darkened alley. Covered by the darkness, I leaned against the wall and closed my eyes.
Soon my legs gave out from under me and I slid downwards toward the grimy ground. "Dammit," I muttered to myself, "I've got to be more careful."
Suddenly, I felt a small plop smack me lightly on my nose. Looking up, I put my dirtied hands up and felt several more small smacks. A dark cloud swirled in the sky and dropped its load.
So. . . .it's raining. . . . Filthy water. . . Yes. . . very filthy. . . .So much like my hands. . . .
Bringing my hands to my face, I closed my eyes and licked the water in my palms.
Very dirty. . . . but very good. . . . . .Looked bad. . . . but it tasted wonderful. . . ..
So much like me. . . . .
~
That night as I lay in my bed, eyes wide open, I stared at my ceiling. I never noticed how it had looked. Most interesting. . . . .
Darkness surrounded me in my small room. But I didn't mind. . . The darkness was very comforting. . . .It was like an old friend. . . . I thrived in it. ..
Suddenly, I heard a faint scream pierce the night's silence like a knife. It was far, but not too far. . . . My lips turned up in a grin.
They must have found it. . . the corpse.
Oh well, I thought, They would've found it sooner or later. I suppose the rain pushed the body up a few feet from the ground.
Smiling to myself, I closed my eyes and smiled deeper as I heard several more horrified cry slice the silence in half.
I wonder if they've found the broken fingers. . . .
Maybe they first saw the bashed skull. . ..
Or perhaps the missing eyeless sockets. . . .
With a pleasant grin on my face, I felt sleep overtake me as the pained wails soared through the air and rock me to sleep like a gentle lullaby.
~
Yikes. That was getting a little TOO creepy for me. Do you think I should stop? I haven't done one this creepy before. . . .
Well you tell me in your nice little reviews, hmm?
Anywho, for those of you reading, I really hope you can guess who the killer found and who gets knocked off the list of suspects AND victims. If you REALLY can't figure it out, I'll tell you in my notes in the next chapter. I can't mention names as the clues. They come in either distinct possessions, phrases, or actions that are common to the character.
Well, that's the end of that.
Ciao. ^_~
P.S. TerraEpon-Your assumption is absolutely. . . . . . . WRONG!!!