Author's Note: Warning! This fic is rated PG for situations caused due to bitten limbs. If anything bothers you during the fic, please click the back button on your browser. Thank You! - Chuquita
Also, this story takes place just after Bebi's been defeated. We'll return to the timeline's present in the next fic.
1:15 PM 11/5/2004
E-mail:
By: Chuquita
Quote of the Week: -from dbgt ep #55 "Bulma's Actions! The Vegeta Project!"
Veggie: (runs out to the deck and jumps off into the air)
Bulma: Vegeta wait!
Veggie: We can't let Kakarrotto fight alone, I'll go help him...
Bulma: Wait!
Veggie: What is it?
Bulma: You think you can beat him, huh?
Veggie: What did you say?
Bulma: Listen Vegeta, I have thought about it.
(Earthquake shakes the building)
Veggie: (suddenly sitting in a chair holding his hands onto a machine with numbers quickly moving up past 270) This sort of
training... (straining in pain as the numbers reach 300) Kuso...this is ssj4? Kakarrotto, I hate you for your unlimited
power... (bursts into ssj1 once it hits 350) YAAAAAAAHHHHH-- (machine explodes) (Veggie dizzily walks off in ssj, then
powers down and hits the floor stomach-first, woozy) When did we have such a wide difference?
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Chuey's Corner:
Goku: Well... (pulls out list)
Vegeta: (sweatdrops) Must you count them?
Chuquita: Welcome to the fic everyone! (grins) This is number #96!
Goku: HOORAY!
Chuquita: We're having a countdown to fic #100.
Vegeta: (shifts around uneasily at the mention of fic #100) Ohhhhhh...
Goku: (smiles) Aw come on Veggie, its not that bad!
Vegeta: (flatly) Says the person who gets to play the hero in it.
Goku: ?
Chuquita: Anyways, as some of you may have noticed, we've semi-time-traveled again. This oneshot begins shortly after
"Chomp!" ends.
Vegeta: Why did we skip from the future to the present to the future again?
Chuquita: (smiles embarassingly) I wanted to get the Halloween Special out around Halloween, and if I'd have gone directly
to this one then that one would be off by a week.
Vegeta: (enlightened) Ah...
Chuquita: Anyways, this little oneshot is about Veggie trying to equalize the nibble Goku accidentally gave him during the
battle with Bebi. (points to gt ep 29)
Vegeta: (shudders) Baka episode...
Chuquita: Hee— at least you can't blame it on me. Goku biting your arm and breaking the skin was one of the gt-writers
ideas, and that said person would probably be impossible for you to find.
Vegeta: (sighs) That is true... (narrows his eyes) ..however if I ever did find the person who decided Kakarrotto should bite
me and therefore allow millions of kaka-germs to flood my system...
Goku: (pats Veggie on the shoulder) There there, Veggie.
Chuquita: (points to the little ouji) Veggie only has until the next full moon to return the 'favor' or else he'll be trapped
as an uke forever!
Vegeta: A very scary prospect indeed. (shudders at the thought and rubs his left arm)
Chuquita: Also, Budoukai 3 will be coming out soon!
Goku: (excitedly) It comes out here the 17th! (smiles) That's a Wednesday.
Chuquita: I put $5 down to reserve a copy, but I have yet to get my free gift cuz they were out when I got there.
Vegeta: And that would be...
Chuquita: Um, a mini-manga-dbz-book, a dvd, and a big-headed Brolli figurine.
Goku: Big-headed big meanie... (glares off into the distance and hugs Veggie protectively)
Vegeta: ACK! (cheeks flush red)
Chuquita: (sweatdrops) He's not here now.
Goku: (calms down) Oh. (lets go of Veggie)
Vegeta: (gasping for air) ▫Whew▫!
Chuquita: In addition to what's happening to Veggie, there's also a Piccolo side-story that sorta preludes to what happens in
the Evil Shenlong eps; Dende is also involved in the side-story.
Vegeta: (cocks an eyebrow) Really?
Chuquita: Yeah, I found it strange how even though Piccolo, Dende, and Mr. Popo are all so close to Shenlong that none of
them were used in the saga. (grins) So once I get to that parody after the Super 17 one, the three of them will be involved!
Goku: :)
Chuquita: (happily) One more thing before we go! Maria Nomad (formerly known as Maria Cline) has a fic involving the cast
called "The Legend of Vegchi" which can be found at www. fanfiction. net / s / 1952894 / 1 / . (nervous laugh) I mentioned it
on da a while ago but forgot to mention it here. Sorry 'bout that.
Goku: (chirps) That story is a one-shot as well!
Chuquita: Yup! And now onto the fic!
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Summary: For Veggie, the unthinkable has happened. During the fight with Bebi, Goku had accidentally bitten the ouji on the arm! Now he must find a way to bite Goku back before the next full moon or else he'll be trapped as an uke forever! Will Veggie be able to go through with it, and furthermore, will Chi-Chi let him? And what happens when Brolli finds out about all this? Meanwhile Dende's reaching namekian puberty, causing the dragonballs to temporarily crack and other strange yet random phenomena to occur. Can Piccolo get the young guardian through this without cracking up? Find out!
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Chuquita: And by "cracking up", I mean bursting into laughter, not going crazy.
Vegeta: (is now rubbing his left arm vigorously) I fear for my own particular plight.
Goku: (smiles warmly) Aw Veggie don't worry, its gonna be alright.
Vegeta: (nervous laugh) HA!
Goku: ?
Part 1 Chapter Titles: Veggie's Worst Nightmare l FIX IT! l Videogame Bets l Seme l Getting out of Work! Trunks's Plot l To Bite or not to Bite? Veggie's Predicament l Blue? l
" Ahh....AAAAHHHHHHhhh... " Vegeta stared at his left arm in panic as he sat there on the bathroom floor.
" Vegeta? " Bulma's voice called from downstairs, " Are you oh-kay up there? "
The little ouji continued to hyperventilate as he heard the sound of feet climbing up a staircase in the back of his
mind. The kaka-germs....in his body..so many of them, multiplying and altering his mind and body to inact their wicked deeds.
Vegeta gulped, " Oh GOD...they've been in there for over a WEEK and I just figured it out NOW!? " he groaned.
" Hey there. " Bulma peeked her head out into the doorway, " I heard you scream, is everything alright? "
" Kakarrotto bit me. " he held his arm out to show her and looked away, still in shock.
" Ohhh, is that all. " Bulma smiled, taking his arm, " Well don't worry I'll just get something to help clean the
wound and a bandaid to seal it. "
" ... " the ouji sweatdropped, " You really don't remember, do you? "
" Remember what? "
" What happens when one saiyajin is biten by another! By accidentally biting my arm and breaking the skin he's sent
millions of kaka-germs into my bloodstream! Kaka-germs that can alter and morph my mind and body to their creator's own
strongest desires! That makes us partially-bonded! " Vegeta exclaimed.
" !? " Bulma froze in place.
" ...and it also makes me his uke. " the ouji grumbled, then shook his right fist, " And I cannot allow myself to be
trapped as Kakarrotto's mushy, gi-wearing little uke for the rest of my days! " he shuddered, upset and sniffling, " Just
LOOK at it! " he held up part of the gi he'd torn off seconds earlier, " I put it on this morning BY MY OWN FREE WILL! " the
ouji chucked the gi to the ground and started pacing back and forth in panic.
" Vegeta--- "
" And this is just the START! The next thing you know I'm going to be inviting him here to have platonic sleepovers
with me! And to take walks in the park, and go on mushy little picnics on the beach and fish together and bathe together
and AAUGHH!! " Vegeta clutched his hands on either side of his head, " I CAN'T DO THIS!! " his tail fur stood on-end in
fright, " I DON'T WANT TO BE KAKARROTTO'S UKE THIS IS EXACTLY THE SORT OF THING I'VE BEEN TRYING TO AVOID EVER SINCE I
FIRST GOT INVOLVED WITH HIM!!! " he wailed in terror.
Bulma bit her lip, worried, " What if we just find a way to suck the germs out of your body? "
" ? " Vegeta paused and looked over at her, " You can do that? "
She smiled, " Sure! "
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" You can't do that, can you. " Vegeta frowned tiredly as he lay on the operating table while Bulma typed rapidly
on her computer, " It's been two hours. "
" ▫tap▫tap▫tap▫tap▫tap▫ "
" ...Bulma? "
" ▫tap▫tap▫tap▫ "
" Bulma? " the ouji partly sat up.
" Heh... " she smirked, then lept out of her chair and ontop of it, " I'VE GOT IT! "
" Really?! " Vegeta grinned, almost disbelieving it.
" Yup! " Bulma smiled, " Its quite simple really. Here. " she pressed a button and a large device lowered above the
ouji. It was two times larger than the operating table and had a flat metal base to it.
" It looks like a gigantic iron. " Vegeta sweatdropped.
" Nonsense! This machine is one of my pet projects, which is why I haven't really named it yet. " Bulma started,
" Infact it was specifically designed as an alternative to that Peasant-Repel I created a while back. "
" An, alternative? " the ouji said, intregued.
" Of course. As more time passes and Son-kun himself gets stronger, his germs get stronger as well. I calculated
their rate of growth against the current formula. " her expression grew concerned, " Ten years from now the kaka-germs
power will eclipse that of the repel, and since I'll be getting up their in age in a decade or so I need to develop either
a stronger formula now while my mind is still sharp or create an alternative to it altogether. " Bulma explained.
" ... " Vegeta stared at her, impressed. He sweatdropped, " And you were going to tell me about all this WHEN--? "
" Hahaha, it sorta just slipped my mind. " she laughed, embarassed, " Hey I've been busy Vegeta. Not nearly as much
as back when I was Capsule Corp President but I still do a lot of work and attend meetings and such. "
" ▫Tug▫...▫tug▫.....▫tug▫... " the sound of something being dragged off was heard in the background.
Bulma and Vegeta watched it for a moment. The figure struggled with the large rectangular-box-like object, then
suddenly tripped and fell over, taking it down with him.
" ▫BLAM▫! "
The duo cringed. A bright yellow light burst from beneath the box and the figure picked it up and held it over his
head, revealing himself.
" ▫Whew▫. " he sighed in relief.
" Well if it isn't the current Capsule Corp President. " Vegeta smirked.
" HUH!? " Trunks looked over at them.
" Trunks, where are you going with that box? " Bulma asked him, " And why are you in your street clothes, I thought
you had a meeting at 2:15pm? "
Vegeta looked over at her oddly.
Bulma held out a pda and laughed nervously, " Scheduling...is a hard habit to break. "
" I noticed. " the ouji sweatdropped.
" Well, ah, I'll be going now! " Trunks waved, dashing up the stairs wearing his large dark-green t-shirt and jeans.
" ? " Bulma cocked an eyebrow at him.
" --to my meeting! Yeah! " he grinned cheesily, then turned around and ran up the remaining stairs. The door closed
behind him.
Bulma sighed and folded her arms, " Sometimes I really don't think he wants that job. "
" Then lets just have another who does. " Vegeta smirked from the operating table.
She looked over at him incrediously, " Vegeta we can't do THAT! "
" Why not. " the ouji blinked.
" VEGETA I'M 56 YEARS OLD! " Bulma exclaimed.
" ...and? "
She stared at the ouji, gawking, " Vegeta that's too old for me to be having children! Either way I couldn't if I
wanted to. I'm impotent! "
" You--when did THIS happen?! " Vegeta gasped, shocked.
" About 10 years ago. " she said flatly.
" ...oh. " he blinked.
" Now, let's change the subject, shall we? " Bulma said, trying to regain her previous cheerfulness, " I want you
to lay perfectly still while I throw this lever, alright? "
" What will you throwing that lever accomplish? " Vegeta asked, curious.
" Oh, the machine above you is designed to seperate the kaka-germs from your genetic structure. This machine will,
in essence, suck the kaka-germs out of your body through your pours and up onto its base. " she happily explained.
" That sounds like it'll hurt. "
" Nonsense! You'll merely feel a small draft. " Bulma nodded, then pulled the lever.
Instantly Vegeta felt his body being tugged upward. He suddenly felt a rush of cold wind and squinted his eyes shut
in pain, " WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!! " a huge wave of red dots hurtled upward into the air and slammed into the base of the
machine while squiggling around in confusion and panic. Bulma smiled and turned the lever back down. Vegeta panted as he felt
his heart racing from the experiance.
" Feeling better? " Bulma looked over at him.
The ouji slowly opened his eyes, " That felt HORRIBLE! " he gawked, still shaking.
" Ah, but it did the trick, didn't it? " she pointed upward.
Vegeta glanced in that direction to see the kaka-germs stuck on the object above. His jaw hung open at the sheer
number of them, " ...how LONG did Kakarrotto have his TEETH in me! "
" Don't be silly. There weren't nearly as many when they first entered your body. They simply multiplied over the
course of the week. "
" If that's how many there can be created inside me within one WEEK....I shudder to think what a YEARS-WORTH would
look like. "
" Ah ha ha ha ha...I'd rather not imagine. " Bulma laughed nervously, then went back to her computer. She hit a
button, causing the kaka-germs pressed against the machine to instantly disintegrate, " There. You're kaka-germ free! "
Vegeta sat up and smirked, " Forgive me for I was wrong to ever doubt your genius. " he clasped his hands together.
" Aww. " Bulma smiled, " Now before you go I want to take one more look to see if there's any remaining germs. "
" Alright. Fire away! " Vegeta said proudly as he layed back onto the operating table.
" ▫Checking germ levels now▫. " the computer announced as a scan came up from under Vegeta as if he were lying ontop
of a copying machine or a scanner, " ▫Scanning complete▫. Kaka-germ level, 20 percent. "
Vegeta's eyes widened to two huge black blobs of fear.
" WHAT?! " Bulma shouted at her computer as she sat up and stared at it in shock. The kaka-germ level was slowly
beginning to rise again, " What's going on.. " she whispered to herself, then noticed the clump of kaka-germs multiplying
centered in the ouji's left arm. Bulma magnified the image on the screen, " Oh you have to be kidding me. Of course it makes
sense that's the only logical explination. "
" What's wrong? " Vegeta asked cautiously.
" Nothing! Nothing! Just a minor glitch I'll have it fixed in a couple of hours no problem! " Bulma lied, smiling at
him, then turned back to the computer, ::Oh God...if what I suspect is true then there's no way to stop them!:: the look of
fear reappeared on her face, " Vegeta...why don't you go see how Son-kun is doing, maybe he can figure something out. " she
said while keeping her attention on the screen.
" Umm, oh-kay. " Vegeta hopped down and headed up the stairs. He looked back at her, uneasy, then left.
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" ▫Pow▫Pow▫ ▫pow▫pow▫pow▫! " the sounds of a videogame came several feet away from the couch where Vejitto and
Gogeta sat as they watched the two players attack each other.
" 5 bucks on Giru! " Gogeta waved a 5 dollar bill in the air.
A small vein bulged on Pan's forehead, " Some Uncles you are. " she sweatdropped and continued to play.
" I don't mean to be mean, its just that he's got a better winning-record than you. " Gogeta pointed out.
" Ooh, what's this? The scent of delicious lunch-related goods? " Vejitto sniffed the gigantic backpack sitting
next to the couch. He reached inside and pulled out a lunch-box. The portara fusion opened it, " Alright! A fish-hoagie,
cheese-doodles, AND a pepsi! "
" You can't have that that's my lunch! " Pan whipped around to face him.
" ▫Ka-POW▫! " an explosion occured behind her on-screen.
" Player 2 Wins. Player 2 Wins. "
Vejitto and Pan turned back to the screen to see Giru doing a little victory dance reminiscent of a football player
who had just scored a touchdown.
" WOO-HOO! I win 5 dollars! " Gogeta chirped excitedly.
" No fair! He distracted me with his lunchtime urges! " Pan pointed to Vejitto, who was now halfway through the
hoagie. The portara fusion stared at the others blankly.
" Can I have some? " Gogeta asked.
" Sure! " Vejitto held it out.
" Fine, just let me have the other stuff. " the demi-demi-saiyajin took the cheese-doodles and pepsi, " I'll go make
myself a peanut-butter and jelly sandwich. I don't like fish anyway. " she said happily as she got up and headed for the
kitchen.
" ▫GASP!▫ "
" ▫GASP!▫ " both fusions gasped at once.
Pan looked over to see they were both now 10 feet away from her and holding their fists up over their mouths.
" You don't like FISH? " Vejitto said, shocked.
" But you are related to Kaasan, how is that POSSIBLE? " Gogeta added.
" Is it that big of a deal? "
" No, not really. " Vejitto shrugged it off as he and Gogeta calmed back down. Gogeta nodded contently.
" Hey does this mean we can have the sandwiches Onna makes for you every time you come over? " Gogeta asked, raising
his hand.
" As long as they're fish, yeah. "
" HOORAY! " Gogeta cheered and took a bite of his half of the sandwich.
" Ohhhh... " a confused little sigh came from the hallway as Vegeta closed the door to the lab and waddled down the
hallway in his boxers.
" Mommy! How are you! " Vejitto smiled, then saw the expression on his face, " Mommy? " he said with more concern in
his voice.
" Kakarrotto's ukefied me. " Vegeta held out his left arm, nerveshot.
The fusions gasped in unison a second time.
" What's an uke? " Pan raised her hand.
" If you have to ask you don't need to know. " Vegeta shuddered at the sight of his arm, then paused, " Waitaminute
what are you doing here? You don't live here and the party ended hours ago! "
" I don't have a ps2 at home and I just found out what an entire year's worth of homework makeup work looks like. "
she flung open the top to her overstuffed backpack and hundreds of papers instantly shot out of it like fireworks, then
fluttered to the ground.
" Snowflakes. " Vejitto observed as he and Gogeta watched the papers fall.
" Well, now that my bet's over and we've eaten a tasty snack...wanna go outside? " Gogeta asked Vejitto.
" Yeah! " the portara fusion grinned, following him out to the backdoor, " OH! Mommy! " they both stopped, " Do you
need any help or support? " he offered.
" We don't mind comforting you, Toussan. " Gogeta offered as well.
" No I'm...I'm fine. " Vegeta said, sweating, " I'm just, I'm just going to go get dressed and then see Kakarrotto
about my new "mark". " he then folded his arms, " Afterall he has some explaining to do after all this. "
" Oh-kay. " Vejitto said, then watched the ouji hover upwards into the air and head into his room, " Poor Mommy, I
hope he's alright. "
" Toussan'll be fine. He's strong! He can take anything, even a bite! " Gogeta chriped.
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" Hmmhmmhmm, hmmhmmhmm. " Goku fluffed the pillows on his bed. He stood back and glanced around his room with pride.
His cheeks flushed pink, " Heehee. " he whipped around and flopped onto his bed, belly-up, " ▫SIGH▫! "
" Goku-san, lunch time! " Chi-Chi poked her head in his room and gasped. Two pillows on Goku's bed, two pairs of
slippers infront of said bed--one pair smaller than the other, and two fleece blankets--one which read "Kakay" and the other
"Veggie", " ... " Chi-Chi twitched, " Is there something I should know? "
" Hmm? " Goku glanced over at her with a warm smile on his face, " Chi-chaaan. " he said sweetly.
" Aww. " she clasped her hands together, walking up to him, " What's with all the Ouji-related stuff? " she
demanded.
" Veggie's comin' over Chi-chan! " Goku said happily.
" How can you tell that? His ki's at Capsule Corp and has been there all day. " Chi-Chi exclaimed, then narrowed
her eyes at the bed before her, " Or HAS he? " she ripped the sheets off to expose...a Vegeta plushie, " ... "
" Hello there! " Goku picked up the plushie and gave it a hug.
" ▫Squeak▫! " the Vegeta-plushie squeaked adorably.
Chi-Chi stuck her tongue out in disgust.
" Anyways, I can tell Veggie's comin over because I can feel him. " Goku nodded contently.
" You mean sense him. "
" Nope! Anybody can sense Veggie. But ever since the nibble I can FEEL Veggie. " he said warmly, " And it feels
so GOOD. Aw Veggie—— "
" What NIBBLE! " Chi-Chi snapped.
" OOP! " Goku gasped, slapping his hands over his mouth.
" Goku-san.. " she said warningly.
" NOTHING. " Goku said loudly, then recovered his mouth.
" You better not be lying. " Chi-Chi narrowed her eyes at him this time.
" ... " the larger saiyajin started to nervously sweat.
" Goku-san. "
He pulled the covers up over his head.
" GOKU! "
" ▫DING▫DONG▫! "
" VEGGIE! " the large saiyajin practically exploded out from under his sheets and rushed to the front door.
" Hey! Stop avoiding the question on me! " Chi-Chi ran after him, " It's liable to make me believe something IS
seriously wrong with you! " she screeched to a halt a foot from the door Goku was about to open.
" Hn.. " Vegeta shifted uncomfortably as he stood before the front door to the Son home. His left arm was tingling
again and his legs and feet were sweating insatiably beneath his pants and boots, ::How am I going to phrase this..?
"Oh Kakarrotto, close your eyes and hold out your arm and I'll give you a big surprise." No. "Kakarrotto, may I please
return the purely-platonic favor you placed on me last week?" No. "Kakarrotto if I don't inflict a bitewound onto your arm
within the next three weeks my body and mind will morph into some mushy uke-ish form of which I'll have no escape!" No,
Kakarrotto likes "mushy":: " Hm indeed. " Vegeta folded his arms and nodded.
" Heehee. "
The ouji opened his eyes to see Goku's head peeking out the doorway just a foot away from him.
" Hi. " the larger saiyajin waved.
" ACK! " Vegeta jumped backwards.
" I KNEW you were coming Veggie! " he clasped his hands together with joy, then looked over his shoulder, " Toldja,
Chi-chan. "
" Ask him what he wants. " Chi-Chi said from behind Goku.
" Little Veggie what do you want? " Goku asked happily.
::I want to sink my teeth into that arm of yours and prevent myself from turning into your uke!!! ▫Insert grab
Kakarotto's arm and courageously bite down▫:: Vegeta smirked to himself, then grabbed Goku's arm and held it up to his face
only to freeze in place, His face turned bright red and his left arm began to shudder as if it were going to faint merely by
holding onto Goku's.
" Come little Veggie, let's go inside! " Goku picked Vegeta up by the back of his blue tank-top and carried him
inside.
" Ohhh, you're bringing him in HERE now? " Chi-Chi groaned.
" What's wrong with that? "
" I thought we could just answer whatever question he had and then get on with our quiet peaceful lunch without any
Ouji-involvement. " she folded her arms, then twitched to see Goku had sat down on the couch and plopped Vegeta on his lap.
He glomped the little ouji from behind.
Vegeta shakily pulled a bottle of peasant-repel out and sprayed himself with it, " ▫Whew▫... " he sighed.
" So, how's Veggie doin? " a lump plopped onto Vegeta's head from behind.
The ouji felt all the kaka-germs in his stomach purr in unison. He grabbed said body part and shook it wildly,
disorienting the germs and causing the purring to stop, " Oh, fine. " Vegeta said casually, " Say Kakarrotto, I was wondering
if I could speak to you in, private. "
Goku looked over to his left to see Chi-Chi standing there behind the couch sending death-glares over Goku's shoulder
at the little ouji on his lap. The large saiyajin sweatdropped, " Chi-chan you're making Veggie uncomfortable. "
" Good. He shouldn't BE comfortable on your LAP. " she narrowed her eyes at Vegeta.
" ? " the smaller saiyajin looked down to see where he was. Vegeta bit his tongue to avoid letting out a scream as he
slid effortlessly off Goku's thighs and onto the couch cushion beside him, ::I didn't even NOTICE that?!:: he shouted at
himself, ::How could I NOT have noticed that!::
" Cuz of the nibble? " Goku grinned over at him.
" WHAT?! "
" WHAT!! " Vegeta and Chi-Chi yelped.
" ... " Goku sat up straight and stared out across the room with a blank look on his face.
" You KNOW what you DID?! " Vegeta gawked, backing up on while still on the couch.
" What did he DO! " Chi-Chi exclaimed, confused.
" Kakarrotto, I can't speak of this topic while Onna is the room. " Vegeta said thoughtfully, " Would you mind
teleporing us somewhere where it'll be just the two of us? " he smirked while making sure Chi-Chi was still watching out of
the corner of his eye. She was, and she was fuming. Vegeta grinned.
" You got it Veggie! " Goku grabbed Vegeta by the left arm. Vegeta let out a strangled noise at his left arm being
touched like that and he could've sworn he blacked out for the first couple seconds of being teleported from the living room
to Goku's room, " Here we are! "
The ouji yanked his arm away, " You can't touch that arm its temporarily sensitive to all that surrounds it! "
" Sorry Veggie. " the larger saiyajin twiddled his fingers.
Vegeta looked around Goku's room and noticed the new additions. He gulped at the sight of the additional pillow on
Goku's bed, " Well, looks like you're already beginning to be affected by the current one-sided-ness of that "nibble" of
yours. " he sweatdropped.
" Huh? "
" That BITE you gave me during your battle with Bebi! Don't you have any idea what you've DONE?! " Vegeta said,
starting to feel the anxiety whelming up again, " Didn't I give you an entire speech on oujis and oujos!! How could you NOT
remember! "
" I remember, but you never said anything about biting people, Veggie. " Goku shook his head.
The little ouji folded his arms and searched through his photographic memory for that point in time. He quickly ran
through it, then paused and let out a gasp, " I...I didn't mention it. I talked about the bond but I never told him how its
CREATED! " Vegeta wailed, grabbing either side of his head in shock, " AARG! How could I have been so VAGUE!! "
" Veggie oh-kay? " Goku asked, concerned.
" No Kakarrotto...Veggie is not oh-kay. " the ouji took his hands off the sides of his head and grabbed onto the
larger saiyajin's orange gi shirt, " By biting me and releasing your kaka-germs into my body's internal system you've
half-platonic-oujo'd yourself!!!
" GASP! " Goku put his hands up over his mouth.
Chi-Chi, who had her ear to the other side of the door, stood there in shock.
" Being the biter, you will not experiance any oujo-like tendencies at all. Infact in an uneven bond such as this you
are more likely to become overprotective than in need of protection. "
" ...that's good, right? " he smiled.
" OF COURSE NOT! " Vegeta's face turned bright red, " However that is not the gravest part of this situation. My very
sanity and state of mind are at stake due to the injection of your kaka-germs. "
Chi-Chi calmed down and her eyes widened in curiousity.
The little ouji grabbed each of Goku's hands and looked up at him with a serious expression on his face,
" Kakarrotto, unless you allow me to level off this accidentally-created and purely-platonic bond, the partial one you
created will by the next full moon completely engulf my mind and send my spiraling off into the mushy, frilly, pink-saturated
land of Uke-dom! " the level of panic in Vegeta's voice rose over the course of his explaination.
" WAHHH! " Chi-Chi fell over.
" Uke? " Goku tilted his head, confused, " Veggie what's an uke? "
" I can't tell you. "
" But--? "
" I can tell you, however, that it is a terrifying place in which I would be unable to fully control myself and
collapse to your every delight and Kaka-ish whim. " Vegeta looked away.
" Oh-kay. " Goku chirped.
" That wasn't an offer! " the ouji sweatdropped.
" So...an uke is somebody who wants to make you happy? " the larger saiyajin wagged his tail, " It sounds nice,
Veggie. "
" IT'S NOT NICE! " he yelped, " You wouldn't like having an uke at all Kakarrotto trust me! " Vegeta frantically
waved his arms in the air, " Besides, you know how I feel about having control over as much of my life as I possibly can. "
" Yup! Little Veggie just luvs to be incharge! " Goku grinned.
" Hai, that I do. " Vegeta chuckled, then patted Goku's right arm with his right hand, " And you know what you could
do to make little Veggie feel "incharge", Kakay? "
Goku sweetly shook his head no.
" Well, " Vegeta smirked, " You could gently hold your right arm out and allow me to hold it like this. " he held
the arm with both hands, " And then I would ever-so-slowly open my mouth and softly allow my teeth to caress your arm's
well-muscled fle--mmph?! " he bit down only to get the taste of cloth in his mouth, " What the--?! " Vegeta let go.
" So Ouji, how do you like Goku-san's new THICK, LONG-SLEEVED, TURTLENECK winter-wear? " Chi-Chi said cheerfully.
Vegeta looked up in shock to see Goku now wearing said clothing under his gi and overtop of the blue t-shirt, " ... "
" I'm warm and toasty, Chi-chan! "
" Of course you are. " Chi-Chi patted Goku on the arm Vegeta had been about to bite several seconds ago, " You know
Ouji, I can't speak for Goku-san, but I think you'd make a WONDERFUL uke to him. "
Vegeta was silent for a moment, " You've gone mad, haven't you. " he said plainly with his eyes bulging out of his
head.
" Hahaha! On the contrary. With your body all numbed up and your brain a lump of luke-warm mush I wouldn't have to
worry about you ever again! You would just sit around the house while Goku-san plays with you all day like a plushie. No more
me walking in on you two in compromising positions! No more evil Ouji plots for me to fend off! No more you wooing Goku-san
into your sick little Ouji-world because there will BE no more sick little Ouji-world! " she pointed at him victoriously,
then clasped her hands together in triumpth, " I wouldn't have to worry about the FUTURE anymore! Goku-san would be safe and
sane and live here in our home and keep you as his little 'pet' while I could live the rest of my life relaxed and
STRESS-FREE! "
" It's good to be stress-free, Chi-chan! " Goku happily nodded.
" YES it is! " Chi-Chi said cheerfully.
The little ouji laughed nervously, " Ah, Onna I really don't think you fully understand what I'd be like as an uke.
And its not a brain-dead plush-toy. Of that I can assure you. "
" It would be more humorous than that? " she glanced over at him.
" For you possibly. For me... " he trailed off, shuddering to think of it.
" Not so much. " Chi-Chi smirked.
" Hai. " Vegeta said grimly.
" Here you go, Goku-san! A pair of nice THICK, RESILANT, gloves! " Chi-Chi presented him with a pair.
" YAY! " Goku cheered, taking them, " Wow Chi-chan you are being so very generous to me today! "
" And that's because I love you. " she patted him again on his unbitten right arm.
" Hn. " a vein bulged on Vegeta's forehead. He turned to Goku with slight worry on his face, " You're not really
going to stand by for the next three weeks while my body slowly morphs into an uke-ish form FOREVER, are you, Kakarrotto? "
Goku sniffled at the worried expression. He pulled his sleeves up, " I do not want little Veggie to be SAD,
Chi-chan. "
" AHHH! GOKU-SAN WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! " Chi-Chi slapped Goku's arm away just before Vegeta could bite down, " If he
bites you you'll get infected with OUJI-GERMS for the REST OF YOUR LIFE! "
" But I like Veggie's germies. " Goku grinned, " For they are sweet and blue. "
" And evil. " she shot another glare in Vegeta's direction.
The ouji chuckled, " It seems you have quite a FEW reasons for Kakarrotto's arm to remain untainted. "
Chi-Chi grabbed and held Goku's right arm tightly, " It seems I do. "
" Ah, but what does Kakarrotto think? " Vegeta walked up closer to the large saiyajin, who smiled down at him in
reply, " You wouldn't mind having one or two of my germs as houseguests in your large kaka-body, would you Kakarrotto? "
" No I would not, Veggie! Besides it would give my own germies someone else to talk to! "
Vegeta reached for Goku's left arm and started to roll up the sleeve, " Wonderful, it works out for everyone then. "
he said as he rubbed his targeted spot, starting to sweat, " Now just hold still and I'll..uh... " he glanced up at the
content expression on Goku's face, " ...you just, just hold still and..uh... " ::If I bite him now and finish off this
purely-platonic and accidental bond, Kakarrotto...he'll be able to read my mind, and I'll be able to read his. My personal
mental privacy will become null and void! Not to mention his own mind will be affected my germs thereby making Kakarrotto
more cunning and resourceful and sneaky like me! I don't WANT him to be cunning and resourceful and sneaky like me! But then
there's the alternative...:: the ouji pictured an image of what he would look like as an uke, " Eeew.. " Vegeta paled, then
suddenly lit up, " Hey! Kakarrotto I've GOT it! "
" Hooray! " Goku cheered.
" We could probably avoid being platonically..ah, connected and I wouldn't have to let my germs loose on your mind
if you can simply get rid of the germs inside me by calling them back to your OWN body! You have such control over your
germs, Kakarrotto. It should be easy for you to accomplish! " the ouji grinned.
" But Veggie.. " Goku frowned, " I can't call back any germs that're INSIDE Veggie because there's no way OUT of
Veggie. "
" Of COURSE there is! I can, I don't know, tilt my head to the side and you could direct them out through my ears! "
" I'll try. " Goku nodded, then put his hand on Vegeta's stomach, " Hey little germies.. "
Vegeta's face turned red. He could tell by the expressions on Goku's face that he was psychically talking with said
kaka-germs. The larger saiyajin appeared cheerful, then worried and disappointed, then confused. He took his hand off of
Vegeta's stomach, " Well? " the ouji asked curiously.
" They said they can't leave cuz Veggie's their home now. " Goku explained.
" WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M THEIR HOME?! " the ouji exclaimed, his cheeks reddening.
" Veggie's arm. " Goku pointed to it, " They said the spot they came in is making more and more germs so even if
they did leave more would be born to take their place. "
" So...basically what you mean is that my left arm has become some sort of kaka-germ-creating machine? " Vegeta said
in his shocked and rarely used "little" voice.
" Yup! Pretty much! " Goku chirped.
" ...WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! " the ouji screamed in hysterics, " HOW AM I
GOING TO GET THEM OUT OF MY BODY IF THEY'RE BEING CREATED INSIDE MY BODY! Oh GOD! I'm doomed I'm doomed I'm DOOMED! WHY
MUST THIS BE! " he wailed overdramatically, slamming his head against the wall and shuddered in fear.
Chi-Chi smiled at the scene, " I'm going to get some popcorn! " she said, then left.
Vegeta twitched, " The only reason she's so cheerful is because even she doesn't know the full effects of me being
trapped in a one-sided PLATONIC-bond of which I am....uke. " Vegeta choked on the word.
Goku raised his hand, " What kind of effects are they, Veggie? "
" Well, " Vegeta smirked, calming down, " I'm not completely sure. "
" Huh? " the larger saiyajin sweatdropped, " If Veggie doesn't even know then why is Veggie acting so over-emotional
to-day? "
" I know what one is, Kakarrotto. Its just that...I've never seen an uke'd saiyajin before. "
" We'll find out in three weeks though, won't we! " Chi-Chi teased from downstairs.
A vein bulged on Vegeta's forehead and his cheeks turned red, " Kakarrotto, I have examined this situation and I
believe we're left with only 3 viable options. "
" Oh-kay! "
" Option 1. I chop my left arm off just above the bite-wound, halting the uke transformation, and use the
dragonballs to wish my arm back to its pre-biten form. "
" Oh Veggie NO! " Goku gasped in shock, glomping onto Vegeta's left arm.
" AHHH...ahh.. " the ouji's face turned bright red as the arm completely went numb.
" I will NOT let my little Veggie dismember his sweet Veggiebody! " Goku's cheek pressed against the sealed-over
wound, " It's not worth it! "
" Ah..haha... " Vegeta laughed nervously, sliding his arm out of Goku's grasp, " Option 2. I bite you back right now
and accept the fact that I'll never have complete privacy within the realms of my mind ever again. "
Goku ripped his shirt off, " Hit me Veggie! " he grinned.
" ... " Vegeta shifted uncomfortably, " Option 3. I do nothing and accept uke-dom to you. "
Goku held up a little blue gi and a pair of fuzzy yellow slippers.
The ouji stared at him, " Option 2. " he said bluntly.
" HOORAY! " Goku cheered and glomped the little ouji, " Choose a body part, little Veggie! "
" The fact that you actually sound happy about this worries me. "
" Well Veggie said he doesn't wanna be an uke, and Option 2 means I get to play walkie-talkies with Veggie--in my
head! "
" Its more complicated than THAT, Kakarrotto! " Vegeta folded his arms, " When two saiyajin perform germ-swapping
activities they're usually...ah.. " he tried to think of a way to explain it, " Very..."interested", in each other. "
" I'm interested in Veggies! " Goku raised his arm.
" In a non-platonic way. "
" OH. " he held his arm back, " Veggie I'm not allowed to think such things... " his cheeks flushed pink, " It's
against the very top-three rules! "
" It won't be like that Kakarrotto, trust me! " Vegeta said, " Listen, how about we go back to my room--where I feel
most in-control over my surroundings, and we can talk about it a little bit, and then I'll de-uke-tize myself from any
further uke-zation by giving you a nibble. "
" Um...oh-kay Veggie. " Goku shifted around.
" Good. " Vegeta took the larger saiyajin's hand, then put his fingers on his forehead and teleported them out of
sight.
" Hey Goku-san! The popcorn's do-- " Chi-Chi froze in mid-sentence as Goku and Vegeta's ki's disappeared from the
house, " Ouji.. " she grumbled, then quickly tossed the unopened, popped popcorn into a tupperware container and dashed
outside, " KINTO'UN!!! "
The little orange cloud zipped out of the sky down to her. Chi-Chi hopped onto it, " To the Ouji's house! HURRY! "
and with that they flew off. She narrowed her eyes, " Not even over my dead body will I let that Ouji gain control over
Goku-san! "
dl
/dl
dl
/dl
" Nngh! There. " Trunks stood the large box upright in the middle of his office. Goten, in his usual orange and black
gi along with end-of-dbz surfer-esque haircut, sat indian-style on Trunks's desk.
" What is it, Trunks? "
" Heh. " the demi-saiyajin smirked, " Goten. I'd like to present to you, " he ripped the front wall off the object,
" ROBO-TRUNKS! "
What stood in the box looked like an android of the lavender-hairred demi-saiyajin wearing one of his business suits.
" Robo-Trunks activated. Please initate program; " a cavity opened up in his chest to reveal a computer monitor and
small keyboard, " Boring 6-hour-long Meeting Mode, Neverending Paper-signing Mode, or Obviously-lying Compliment Mode. "
" WOW.... " Goten's eyes widened in awe, " THAT'S THE COOLEST THING EVER, TRUNKS! " he gushed.
" Why thank you. " he smirked, " You see Goten, with Robo-Trunks here, I can easily skip out on my boring, repetitive
job to go spar and create mischief with you. Just like the old days! "
" HOORAY! " Goten cheered.
" And while I'm no Doctor Gero, I certainly can pass this guy off as me. " he whipped out his fake glasses and placed
them on Robo-Trunks, who walked awkwardly and stiffly to the desk, then sat down.
" Um, Trunks, won't they notice the way he moves? " Goten sweatdropped.
" Oh that's nothing to worry about. " Trunks shrugged it off, " I mean, I rarely ever leave my chair when at any of
these "social functions" anyway. "
" If you say so. " Goten tapped Robo Trunks on the shoulder only to have the head spring out into the air, " OH. "
" ACK! " the demi-saiyajin lept up and caught his head, " Careful Goten, its still a prototype. "
" Haha. " he grinned.
Trunks jammed Robo-Trunks's head back on only to have it sit crookedly on his neck, " Aw.. " he closed the chest
cavity, " Well, no one should notice. " He plopped a huge pile of papers his secretary had given him on the desk before
Robo-Trunks, " Robo-Trunks! File these forms! "
" Filing skill..activated. " Robo-Trunks said, then began to quickly shift through the papers.
" Ah, a job well done if I do say so myself. " Trunks rubbed his hands together, " Let's go, Goten! "
" K! " Goten chirped.
" Say, is Parisu coming with us? " Trunks opened the window.
Goten pouted, " Parisu-chan's at school. " he then perked up, " But she gets out at 4:30 and I'm picking her up then
so we can all go get something to eat! "
" Well, we got a good 3 hours to kill til then, " Trunks hopped out of the window and hovered in the air, " Let's
go! " he blasted off.
" YAY! " Goten blasted off after him.
dl
/dl
dl
/dl
" Now Kakarrotto, I want you to stay here, in my room, while I go prepare myself for this...occation. " Vegeta
tried to remain as calm as he possibly could given the situation he was in.
" Oh-kay Veggie! " the larger saiyajin chirped, then paused, " But, Veggie...I didn't need to prepare myself when
I gave your arm that nibble. What would you need to do? " he asked, confused.
Vegeta took a deep breath, " I'd, just like one last moment alone with my mind and all the private knowledge it
endows, that's all. "
Goku blinked, " ..K! " he smiled.
The ouji reached for the doorknob to his room. He glanced back one more time to see Goku smiling even warmer now.
Vegeta's face flushed and he gulped as he quickly zipped out of his bedroom, " ▫Whew▫. "
" Hey there, uke! "
" HUH!? " Vegeta pinned his back to the door and looked around only to see Turles standing there grinning at him,
" Oh. Hello. " he said flatly.
" You know Vegeta-san, I've seen uke'd male saiyajin before. " Turles smirked, " It's really quite amusing. They're
all so clingy and giddy around whomever happened to bite them. Uke's are very polite and their minds are saturated with
mushy, romantic, bite-induced thoughts of their seme. " he added, " They're also very easy to scare--however I wouldn't
recommended it. The bond being one-sided and all makes the semes incredibly defensive and powerful. "
" Yeah, well I'm not going to be an "uke" for much longer once I bite Kakarrotto back. " Vegeta boasted.
" And that'll really put you into a better position than you are now? " the evil type-3 saiyajin chuckled, " Wow
you're lucky Vegeta-san. You must be able to put up quite the powerful mental barrier. "
" What are you talking about. "
" Come on, you couldn't have forgotten. " he teased, " I heard from Bulma, while you were off wooing Kakarrotto
in joining you-- "
" --I wasn't WOOING him! I was merely in need of his unique, kaka-like aid. " Vegeta snorted.
" Uh-huh. " Turles smirked, " Anyway, she told me about a particular day a long time ago when Kakarrotto made a wish
that indirectly caused the two of you to be "bonded" for 24 hours. "
A blushline appeared over Vegeta's nose, " That was an accident. "
" Like this? " he poked Vegeta's left arm near the mark. The ouji slapped his hand over his mark and held it there
protectively, " Come on Vegeta-san. I'm curious. What did that feel like? To be completely bonded like that? It must've
felt nice, and warm. And I'm sure Kakarrotto was very gentle-- "
" --NOTHING NON-PLATONIC HAPPENED BETWEEN KAKARROTTO AND I! GOT IT! " Vegeta shouted with his hands over his ears and
his face glowing bright red.
" BWAHAHA! Something's certainly happening to you now! Just look how easily set-off you've been throughout the past
several scenes. Those kaka-germs in your bloodstream are slowly shutting down all your defenses. I won't keep you any longer.
You better go bite Kakarrotto back before you become too overly-distraught to do so...OR to madly in non-platonic affection
to WANT to. "
" FINE! I WILL! " the ouji huffed and flung open the door to his room. Goku was sitting on the edge of Vegeta's
bed in ssj with the lights dimmed.
" :) " Goku waved happily to him.
Vegeta's bottom left eyelid twitched as he nervously waved back.
" Veggie ready yet? " he chirped.
" Ah, just a minute, Kaka-chan. " Vegeta laughed, increasingly nervous. He ducked his head out the door and slammed
the door shut behind him, " I CAN'T DO THIS! Biting Kakarrotto now would mean all of my attempts to stop such a relationship
from ever occuring would have been all for NOTHING! I worked so hard trying to keep us on a purely platonic level and all of
a sudden its bite back or become ukefied forever?! "
" Don't worry Toussan, you can do it! "
Vegeta turned his head to the right, " AHH! " he jumped back to see Gogeta suddenly hovering upside-down in a
sitting position and waving a little flag with the ouji's picture on it.
" Go Toussan! You can do it! It's worth being platonically-bonded if you're not uke! " the dance fusion cheered him
on.
" Yeah! You're right! The Great and Powerful Saiyajin no Ouji is NO uke! Platonic OR otherwise! "
" YEAH! " Gogeta pumped his other fist in the air while continuing to wave the little Vegeta-flag.
" Off I go! " Vegeta pointed to the door to his room determindly. He flung it open to reveal Goku now in ssj2 and
laying on Vegeta's bed while little candles lit the near-completely-dark bedroom.
" :) " Goku waved a second time, " Veggie ready yet? "
" ...almost! " Vegeta answered happily. Gogeta and Turles sweatdropped as Vegeta backed up and slammed the door
closed again, " Curse this a-curse-ed situation. " he grumbled.
" Aw, its not that bad, is it Mommy? "
" ACK! " Vegeta noticed Vejitto standing before him. He sweatdropped, ::I should've known if one of them was here
the other wouldn't be far behind:: " You here to cheer me on too? "
" Yup! " Vejitto nodded.
" But..aren't you the one who would prefer Kakarrotto be "incharge"? "
" I don't think that's a fair question to ask me right now, Mommy. " Vejitto sweatdropped.
" ... " ▫
" ... " ▫
" Go MOMMY! " Vejitto tossed confetti into the air.
" WOOO! " Gogeta waved his Vegeta-flag about.
Vegeta opened the door to his bedroom a third time. This time Goku was in ssj3, bootless, and half-under the covers
of Vegeta's bed while the candles flickered about and a soft lyric-less melody cascaded throughout the room, " I KNOW you
can't add any more! You only have ONE transformation left after this! " he announced, then backed up and closed the door
again, " Kakarrotto...using his mushy kaka-ways to unintentionally psyche me out! "
" Unintentional...or IS it? " Turles smirked.
" What are you implying? " Vegeta quickly whipped around to face him.
" That maybe Kakarrotto is more privy to what's going on than you hope he is and that he's merely setting the mood
for the act of your germs mixing into his bloodstream to occur at a more.."memorable" pace? " he teased.
" Kakarrotto has no non-platonic desires for me, so your assumption must be inaccurate and untrue. " Vegeta smirked
back.
" One more burst of pre-ukefied Vegeta-san, huh? " Turles said, " You should be lucky it was Kakarrotto you bit you.
It could've been worse. "
" And just HOW could it have possibly been worse than the prospect of me sharing my mind with Kakarrotto for the
rest of my life? " Vegeta folded his arms.
" ▫DING-DONG▫! "
Bulma walked out of the hallway, " I'll get it. " she opened the door.
" HELLO human who is currently Vejita's lover. I heard Vejita's an uke now so I brought him some uke-related
clothing! " Brolli held out a large gift-wrapped package and handed it to Bulma, who's knees nearly collapsed under its
weight.
" ... " Vegeta stood there at the top of the staircase with a blank look on his face, " Having Kakarrotto being the
one who bit me just started to look a whole lot better. "
" Toldja! " Turles grinned, " And, since he's already biten you, that means anyone else who tries won't be able to! "
" So I'm safe from being bitten by.. " Vegeta motioned to Brolli, who waved excitedly to him.
" HI Vejita! " Brolli anxiously shouted up to him.
" Yup. " Turles smirked.
" Huh. Whadda ya know. There is an upside. " the ouji chuckled.
" Vejita would you like to come downstairs and I'll help you try on some of your new uke-clothing to see which ones
you like? " Brolli offered. Bulma tossed the huge package slightly, freeing her arms and causing the package to slam into
the floor hard. She breathed a sigh of relief and rubbed her arms in pain.
" What's IN that thing? " Bulma gawked.
" Umm, not right now, Brolli. I'm, ah, busy. " Vegeta sweatdropped.
" Come on Vejita. I think you'll enjoy it. " he rubbed his hands together sneakily, " I can even help you get out of
what you're currently wearing--to save you the trouble, of course. "
" Ah haha...no thank you. " the ouji laughed nervously.
" ▫FWOOSH▫! " Brolli felt something suddenly rush behind him. He whipped around only to hear a loud growl coming from
behind him and before the stairs that led up to where Vegeta stood. The densetsu narrowed his eyes and turned back in his
original direction to see Goku standing there in ssj4 with his fur on end, " Kakarrotto. " Brolli hissed.
" You leave Veggie alone. " the furry saiyajin said dangerously, " Its not nice to force Veggie to do something he
doesn't want to do. "
" Like wearing uke clothes. " Vegeta pointed out.
" Exactly! " Goku temporarily piped up, then went back go glaring at Brolli.
" What does it matter to YOU what Vejita wears, KAKARROTTO. " Brolli spat.
" Cuz I'm the one who bit Veggie. " he proudly pointed to himself.
" WAAH! DON'T TELL HIM THAT! " Vegeta yelped, zipping over to Goku and covering his arm with one of his hands while
he started to drag Goku backwards towards the stairs, " What are you trying to do! Get yourself killed! And WHY would you
boast about something like that! "
" I...I don't know. " the larger saiyajin said, truely at a loss for words in his confused state.
Vegeta looked up at Brolli to see the densetsu staring off into space with a shocked look on his face, " Well you
certainly scared him good. "
" Hee— I'm good at scaring people, huh Veggie! " the ssj4 Vegeta was dragging up the stairs chirped.
" Hai. TOO well I'm afraid. " Vegeta muttered.
" Haha! "afraid"! " Goku laughed.
Vegeta paused for a second, then got it and sweatdropped, " Come on. I give him only about a minute before he snaps
out of it. It would be best if we were to get out of here while we can. "
" Or better yet, get the big meanie himself out of here! " Goku chirped. He pulled himself out of Vegeta's grasp,
then zipped over to the shocked Brolli and teleported him back into the densetsu's house just a yard away, then teleported
himself back next to Vegeta.
Turles walked over to the nearest window and watched Brolli's house, " 3...2...1. "
" ▫BOOOOOOM▫! " the roof of Brolli's house exploded in a violent kiai blast.
" Bwahaha, ah..its like a saiyajin soap opera. " he snickered.
" Come here Kakarrotto. " Vegeta grabbed Goku's arm, " Power down, I'm not going to bite you while your arm is
covered in pink fur. "
" Oh-kay! " Goku did so, " Veggie's finally got the incentive, huh? "
" Yes Kakarrotto I believe I do. " Vegeta reached over, then held the arm tightly and put his mouth around it. He
opened wide and prepared to bite down when a sudden ki blast shot him off Goku and halfway across the room.
" KAKARROTTO YOU KUSOTARE! " Brolli roared, barging back into Capsule Corp in his densetsu from, " YOU STOLE VEJITA
RIGHT UNDER MY NOSE! I BET YOU DIDN'T EVEN GO THROUGH ANY OF THE ROYAL FORMALITIES EITHER! YOU JUST GRABBED AND BIT HIM LIKE
HE WAS A COMMON PEASANT! "
" Actually... " Goku sweatdropped, " ..it was an accident. " he grinned cheesily.
" An...ACCIDENT?! " Brolli gawked. He turned to Vegeta, " Is this TRUE, Vejita? "
" Yeah, pretty much. " Vegeta shrugged, " It was while I was being possessed by Bebi. "
" Kakarrotto bit you a WEEK ago and just NOW I find out about it?! "
" Hey so did I. I didn't even notice this thing til earlier today. " Vegeta held out his arm.
Brolli send another death-glare at Goku, who poutily glared back up at him, " Curse you for depriving me of my chance
as Vejita-chan's seme. FOR THAT YOU SHALL DIE! " he powered up even more.
" Weren't you planning on attempting to kill Kakarrotto anyway? " Vegeta folded his arms.
" Yes, but now instead of simply killing him with ease I'm going to do what I tried the first time; slowly torture
him until he collapses from the pure rush of pain and the utter turmoil of my hands slowly squeezing his neck and cutting off
his oxygen supply while he gasps for air. " Brolli grinned maniacally, " And what do you mean "attempt"? "
The little ouji burst into ssj2 and walked up to him, " I mean that you're not going to succeed and if you plan to
even have a TRY to harm my peasant you'll have to go through me. " Vegeta challanged him.
Brolli chuckled down at him, amused, " Aww Vejita. " he reached down towards the little ouji and picked him up by
the back of his tank-top with ease, " That's so sweet of you to think you're actually powerful enough to stop me from doing
harm to Kakarrotto. "
" Veggie's VERY brave. " Goku clasped his hands together.
" Yes, he is. " Brolli looked at the little ouji, equally delighted.
Vegeta glanced to his left, starting to get uneasy, " Bulma! "
" Uh--excuse me! " she suddenly called out. Brolli turned to her while Goku quickly snatched Vegeta out of his grip.
" !? " Brolli froze.
" HA! " Goku pointed to him with his free hand, the other one holding Vegeta against his side, " I win! "
" Never. " the densetsu stepped forward.
Goku's eyes widened and Vegeta thrust his arms out, " BARRIER! " a blue ki-shield instantly went up around them,
blocking Brolli from getting any closer. He slammed his fist down onto the shield and growled at Goku, then smiled nervously
at Vegeta, " Vejita-chan, please let me in. " Brolli asked politely.
" Oh, I can't do that. " Vegeta smirked, folding his arms, " You see, I enjoy Kakarrotto's platonic-friendship with
me, and because of that, I refuse to allow anyone to do him harm. Especially you. "
" Neh! " Goku stuck his tongue out at Brolli, then let out several giggles of amusment, " Heeheehee. "
Brolli's ki spiked again.
" Don't egg him on! " the ouji gawked, " I can't have you getting killed--again. Do you WANT me to have to go
through another 7 years of kaka-less depression and sorrow? "
" GASP! Oh NO Veggie! NEVER! I luv u! " Goku pleaded, grabbing Vegeta's hands.
" ... " Vegeta shifted around, starting to glow bright red.
" In a "purely pla-tonic" way! " he chirped, letting go.
" Fine. I understand how it is, Vejita. Kakarrotto's hold upon your mind is too strong right now. " the largest
saiyajin hung his head down, then pulled it back up and made a determined fish, " But never fear! For I, your TRUE seme,
shall find a way to destroy this hideous curse Kakarrotto's placed upon your delicate royal arm. "
" I'M NOT DELICATE! " this time Vegeta's face went red with embarassment.
" Heeheehee. " Goku giggled from behind him.
" Whatwasthat? " the ouji glanced over his shoulder at Goku, his eyes narrowed.
" Nothing. " the larger saiyajin said innocently, looking over his own shoulder.
" That's what I thought. " Vegeta then turned back to Brolli, ::I swear Kakarrotto's brain's been a little "off"
since he bit me:: the ouji twitched, " Brolli--ack! " he froze to see Brolli now wearing a t-shirt with an ukefied
Vegeta-head on it.
" Yes, Vejita-chan? " he offered smoothly.
" Ah-- " Vegeta glanced over at Goku and sweatdropped to see Goku wearing a t-shirt with a childishly-drawn,
plushie-like Vegeta-head on it.
" Yeah Veggie? " Goku said cheerfully.
" Nevermind. " he sighed, confused.
" Well, I'm off to go figure out a solution to your terrible problem, Vejita-chan. I'll be right nextdoor if you
need me! " Brolli waved, walking off, " Oh, and don't worry. I won't be killing Kakarrotto since you feel so strongly about
keeping him alive. I have an even BETTER idea! " he left the building, then poked his head back in the doorway, " I'll come
back later with my scheme and I'll explain it to you while you try on your uke-outfits! You're the best uke EVER, Vejita! "
" I am not an uke! " Vegeta yelped in panic as Brolli left, " Errr.. " he shifted uneasily. The ouji put his barrer
down and turned to the others, " RIGHT?! "
" Right! " Gogeta nodded.
" Sure. " Bulma said.
" ... " ▫
" ... " Goku and Vejitto were silent.
Vegeta twitched, " Kakarrotto...Vejitto... "
" Let's go have some cake! " Vejitto happily announced, changing the subject.
" YAY! CHOCOLATE cake! " Goku chimed in and followed him into the kitchen.
" Where's the cream filling! " Gogeta chirped, walking off after them.
Vegeta twitched again.
" Aw, it's oh-kay, Vegeta. " Bulma patted him on the shoulders.
" Do you think its possible for this platonic, semi-bond to have somehow bumped Kakarrotto's I.Q. up a good 10 or 20
notches? " the ouji asked, suspicious.
" What? "
" It's just that..Kakarrotto seems SMARTER than he was last week. He even acted like he KNEW what an uke is when
he clearly does not because I haven't told him! "
Bulma sweatdropped, " Vegeta you're just over-reacting. "
" AM I? Didn't Kakarrotto seem a lot more clued in to what was going on around him just now? And if this is what
he's like now, then who KNOWS what he'll be like once I bite him back! Being able to outwit Kakarrotto is one of the few
things I have left over him. " he pouted stubbornly.
" Don't worry Veggie, nobody can outwit you! You're A Vegenius! " Goku grinned, poking his head around the corner
with an optimistic tone to his voice.
" Uh-huh. " Vegeta sweatdropped.
" What about Brolli? " Bulma looked back at the front door.
" Oh, no need to worry about him. " Turles smirked, passing by as he made his way to the kitchen, " He can try
whatever he likes. Saiyajin bonds are unbreakable. " he flashed a big grin at Vegeta.
" Thanks for reminding me. " the ouji said flatly.
" It will be amusing to watch what he comes up with. " the evil type-3 saiyajin nodded, " By the way, Vegeta-san,
if I were you, I would stop worrying about what being fully "platonic"-bonded is going to be like and just go bite back
already before the transformation begins. "
" What transformation? " the ouji gave him a funny look.
" Yup...better hurry. It'd be a shame for me to start having to call you Vegeta-chan from now on. " he nodded.
" There's a transformation? " Bulma looked confused.
" Of course not. He's simply trying to scare me. Well the Great and Powerful Saiyajin no Ouji does NOT scare easy! "
Vegeta boasted.
" It's mostly a mental thing. Hormonal juices rearranging themselves and such. " he snickered.
" I don't like the sound of that. " the ouji turned a pale green.
" It's simply a lesser of two evils, Vegeta-san. Either you bite Kakarrotto, causing him to be able to reach into
your thoughts and feelings at random and pull out any information or knowledge he desires; OR you don't bite him and instead
end up clinging to Kakarrotto's side and wearing frilly little pink uke garments. " Turles taunted.
" Neither sounds very appetizing. " Vegeta folded his arms. He glanced at Bulma, " What about going back in time and
stopping Kakarrotto from biting me in the first place? "
" We already proved you can't alter the past of your own timeline. " Bulma exclaimed.
" Yeah. " Mirai said, walking by, " If it were that simple I'd be off fixing my timeline right now! "
" I know..I'm just thinking in a desperate, illogical manner in a vapid attempt to save myself from both equally
terrifying kaka-related fates. " Vegeta groaned, " Especially now that I know that all that nightmarish uke-related
mind-warping is true! "
" True and entertaining! " Turles grinned, " I've seen it happen to several saiyajin in my village. "
" You would think that sort of thing would've made you want to wear something with more coverage. " Bulma motioned
to Turles's saiyajin armor.
" Being evil, I'm a big fan of danger and risk-taking. " he rubbed his hands together.
" Hey Veggie! I washed my right arm so its nice 'n clean 'n germ free! " Goku said happily as he entered the living
room, " AND I put a nice warm wet towel over it so Veggie's nibble can be quick and easy! "
Vegeta stared at the steaming towel draped across the larger saiyajin's well-muscled arm and felt a cold sweat
forming on his forehead, " I really..REALLY don't wanna do this. "
" But Veggie, if you don't bite me your mind'll explode...or, whatever you were talking about just now. I wasn't
paying attention. " he admitted, embarassed.
" I wish it would explode rather than turn into a mushy pink lump of ukeness. " Vegeta muttered, then paused,
" Wish...HAHA! THE DRAGON BALLS! " he grinned, " That's it! I can use the dragon balls to wish that bite Kakarrotto gave me
out of existance! If they could cause Kakarrotto and I to have a temporary bond then they could certainly cause a real one
to disappear, right? " Vegeta beamed.
The others looked at him with a mixture of surprise, confusion, and uncertainty.
" Come on! It's worth a shot, right? " he said with a look of mild relief on his face.
" Veggie doesn't wanna be my walkie-talkie? " Goku said, hurt.
" Ah--Kakarrotto its not that, its not that at all. " Vegeta laughed nervously, " I just don't want you to have
complete, unrestricted access to the deepest most private sections of my mind, ah haha..ha.. "
" But Veggie I'll be really REALLY good! "
" No. "
" But Veggie... "
" No! "
" ... " Goku looked left, then right, then whipped out a bottle of strawberry-flavored whipped-cream. He lifted the
steaming towel off his lower right arm and squirted the whipped-cream onto the spot instead, then grinned proudly at his
work, " Eh? Eh? "
" ... " Vegeta stared at him, bug-eyed.
" BWAHAHA! Semetastic, Kakarrotto. " Turles laughed.
" What's a seme? " Goku asked with a happy curiousity.
" That's it. " Vegeta said bluntly, " TO THE DRAGON-RADAR! "
" Did you say dragon-radar! " an eager voice said from before and below him. Vegeta glanced down to see what looked
like the back of a laptop, " As in dragonball-hunt? "
" Kaka-girl? " Vegeta peered over the top of the laptop to where Pan was.
" You cheered up fast. " Vejitto observed.
" Real fast. " Gogeta nodded, surprised.
" Hee— that's because thanks to the WONDERFUL invention that is the internet, I've found tips and codes and cheats
and walkthroughs to that videogame so I can finally defeat Giru! " she flipped the laptop around to show the screen.
" Ooooh. " the fusions said in unison.
" I'm so happy! " she grinned, then smirked, " I'LL teach that little robot a lesson! Nobody defeats ME 104 times
in a row and gets away without being served the proper revenge! " the demi-demi-saiyajin then perked back up, " So can I
come? "
" Well... " Vegeta thought outloud as he folded his arms.
" ▫Ding-Dong▫ " the doorbell rang.
" I'll get it! " Bura said as she passed the front door and opened it, " Hello? "
" Hi Bura, is Pan here? " Gohan asked.
" She didn't come home after school and its almost dinnertime. " Videl added, slightly worried.
Pan started to slowly creep out of her parents visual range, then closed her laptop, yanked the ps2 out of the wall,
and crept out of the living room down the hall.
" Afterall she has a whole yearsworth of homework to catch up on or else she'll be forced to repeat the 9th grade. "
Gohan explained, concerned.
" Ah, 9th grade. " Bura clasped her hands together, " I remember it fondly. "
" She went that way. " Vegeta smirked and pointed to his left.
" EEP! " Pan froze in the hallway, then blasted off, " CURSE YOU! "
Bulma sweatdropped at Vegeta.
" Hey, we gave her like a 2 minute head-start with all the small-talk. Besides she's a super saiyajin. She should've
used her speed instead of sneaking down the hallway at 2 inches a step. " he chuckled.
Gohan turned to Videl, " I'll be right back. " he powered up slightly as to not disrupt any of Bulma's furniture,
lamps, or the tv, then blasted off down the hall.
" I give her 1, 2 minutes tops before he catches her. " Turles nodded.
" Geez, beaten 104 times in a row? But that game's so easy. " Vegeta muttered in disbelief.
" Course its easy for you, Toussan. It's an outer-space racing game. " Bura walked over to him.
" Correction. Combination outer-space racing game and shoot 'um up. " the ouji smirked.
" Me 'n Goggie watched them play. Her problem was she uses the controller wrong. " Vejitto said, then whipped out
a ps2 controller and held it up, " Pan used her thumbs too much and didn't use any of her other fingers, so it took her
longer to reach the speed 'n fire buttons which're L and R. In order to reach them with your thumbs you'd have to actually
take the time to tilt your controller back so they could reach. "
" Where-as Giru used ALL his fingers! That's why he won! " Gogeta happily added, " And this time I'm glad he did cuz
it won me 5 dollars! " he held out the money.
" From who? " Vegeta cocked an eyebrow.
" ... " Gogeta blinked, " I am not sure. "
" Oh. " the ouji scratched his head, confused, " Well, off to get the radar! " he grinned and made his way upstairs.
" Ooh, Toussan's making a wish? " Bura said, delighted, " What for? "
" Well... " Bulma started off.
" Kakarrotto bit Vegeta-san 'accidentally' during the battle with Bebi. " Turles snickered, " Vegeta-san's going to
try to use the dragon balls to wish the "platonic" semi-bond away. "
" You mean Kakarroujo is Toussan's oujo for REAL now? " Bura gushed excitedly, then turned to Goku and clasped his
hands in hers, " Oh Kakarroujo I'm so HAPPY for you! "
Goku's cheeks turned pink, " Uh, actually-- "
" --and you should have something special to wear for this special occation! Shall I design you something? " she
grinned.
Goku paled at the thought of what kind of outfit may result, " --Bura I'm not Veggiesoujo. " he said innocently.
" ...what. " she blinked, " But Turles just said-- "
" Since Son-kun was the one who bit Vegeta, that currently makes HIM the "platonic" seme and Vegeta the "platonic"
uke until Vegeta bites him back or wishes the bond away; if that's possible. " Bulma explained.
" ACK! That's not FAIR! Toussan's no uke! He's so brave and proud and Kakarroujo's so sweet and mushy! " Bura
waved her arms in the air in a panic.
Goku sweatdropped, " I'm not sure whether or not to be o-ffended by that. "
" I'LL help you find the radar, Toussan! " Bura dashed up the stairs after him.
" Well, I'll go get the car started. " Bulma headed out to the garage.
" HOORAY! ROAD TRIP! " Vejitto cheered.
" This'll be FUN, Jitto! " Gogeta hopped out of his seat at the kitchen table.
Goku looked down at his right arm in a sad little pout, " Ohhh.. "
Turles smirked and leaned over towards him, " So much for your naughty little thoughts, huh. "
" EEK! " Goku's face turned bright pink, " No no NO! I wasn't thinking naughty thoughts at all! " he yelped, " It's
against the rules! "
" About those rules... "
" --I'M GOING TO HELP VEGGIE FIND THE RADAR TOO! " Goku said loudly, then zipped up the stairs.
Turles chuckled at the scene while rubbing his hands together maliciously, " Today is going to be fun. "
dl
/dl
dl
/dl
" Ahhh. " Piccolo sighed as he lay on a deck chair out on the lookout. An identical chair to his left ironically
held a dragon ball. The tall namekian reached over and poured some of the pitcher of water into a glass. He set the pitcher
down and took a sip.
" ▫Crack▫! "
" ?! " Piccolo swallowed his water, then turned to the dragonball to see it was now cracked down the middle. He
glanced back in the direction of Kami's house and Dende's room, " Ah, it begins. " Piccolo smirked.
" WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!! " Dende let out a scream of horror, causing Mr. Popo to nearly fall over in
the middle of watering the garden. The young guardian ran out of the building and up to Piccolo with one distinctive
difference about him, " I'm BLUE! "
Piccolo lifted his sunglasses up slightly, " I see. " he said cooly.
" ... " ▫
" ... " ▫
" WELL? " Dende exclaimed.
" It's a nice shade of blue, Mr. Popo says. " Mr. Popo nodded as he sat the watering can back on the floor.
" Hn... " a vein bulged on Dende's forehead, " That tells me nothing. " he glanced back at Piccolo, who snickered
slightly and took another sip of water, " Well? "
" Well what? "
Dende sighed tiredly, " Why am I blue? "
" Namekian puberty. " Piccolo said with a casual tone.
" WHAT?! " Dende nearly fell over.
" Mr. Popo is surprised that it's that time already. " the genie said as he walked by them.
" Don't joke like that! There's no way that namekians can go through puberty! We're asexual! "
" Actually.. " Nail started out. Piccolo yanked on his ear, " Oww! "
" Actually.. " Piccolo said, " That's just the word that resembles it the closest in english. Were I to read off the
actual word in our native language it would probably take me about 3 minutes. "
" Oh. " Dende said awkwardly.
" Anyway, you turning blue is nothing to worry about. Its just one of the many, many stages that occur within the
period between namekian child and adulthood. " Piccolo said, " Luckily, unlike humans, you won't be facing any emotional OR
mental changes. It's completely physical. "
Red splotches instantly appeared all over Dende's body, " Wonderful. " he sweatdropped.
" Since you're a guardian and so closely tied to Shenlong, he'll also be indirectly affected. " Piccolo held up the
cracked dragonball, " But that's not for me to explain, for you see... " he stepped to the side as Mr. Popo wheeled a tv
out next to him, " Kami, Nail, and I have prepared a videotape for you to explain this momentous occation. " Piccolo whipped
out a tape and put it into the vcr.
" Mr. Popo is so proud of Dende. " the genie turned the tv on.
" So...what do I do now? " Dende asked, curious.
Piccolo sat back onto his deck chair, " Simple. Just sit back and watch the show. "
5:07 PM 11/12/2004
END OF PART ONE!
Vegeta: ...
Chuquita: Yes?
Vegeta: (twitches) You said this was a ONESHOT!
Chuquita: I know! (nervous laugh) Sorry guys, there was more to this fic than I thought there'd be; meaning there's a part 2!
Goku: HOORAY!
Vegeta: (suspicious) Why are YOU so cheerful?
Goku: No reason.
Vegeta: ?
Goku: :)
Vegeta: (shifts around uneasily) Uh-huh....
Goku: Veggie oh-kay?
Vegeta: (sighs) I just wanted to get biting you over with quick and easy.
Chuquita: (to audiance) The Piccolo-Dende-and-Mr. Popo-side-story-which-slightly-has-to-do-with-the-main-plot is there
because it was basically either talk about this gt-parody-related plot-point now or wait until I get to the Evil Shenlong
saga parody fic.
Vegeta: And who knows how much time will have passed once we get there.
Chuquita: (happily) Exactly! I wanted to write that part while it was fresh in my mind! Also, anyone wondering about Goten,
Trunks, and Parisu will see them again in part 2! Along with Chi-Chi and Robo-Trunks. Oh, and Pan, Giru, and the video-game comes out of gt ep 16! (to audiance)
You know that first, spliced-together gt ep CN showed? Well the part Funi cut out of ep 16 to replace with flashback-footage
had this whole big thing with the gang playing a Capsule Corp virtual-reality video-game where Giru was beating Pan 50 games
to 0.
Vegeta: (smirks) I could beat Giru EASILY.
Goku: (grins) Of course you could Veggie! Veggie's really good at videogames...and making tasty snacks...and singing!
Vegeta: (sweatdrops, embarassed) Uh-huh.
Chuquita: Oh, also Pan not liking fish comes from gt ep 51 where she freaks out/is disgusted by fish after being covered with
it.
Goku: Sorta like the Buu goo and Veggie!
Vegeta: Must you mention that?
Chuquita: And for those who haven't seen "Chomp!", Veggie gets biten by Goku in gt ep 29!
Goku: Heehee (grins widely)
Vegeta: (looks down at his arm and slaps his hand over the spot.
Chuquita: See you sometime next week everybody!
Goku: Byebye!