Wednesday (six days since Luke left) Christopher's POV
This morning when I woke up I thought that I had a dream of Lorelai crying in her bed. As I watched my room getting brighter with sunshine I remembered that it wasn't a dream. I really saw Lorelai crying. She was always the strongest person I knew and I was shocked to see her cry like that. I felt helpless and didn't know what exactly to do so I did the worst thing of all. Nothing.
When I took off a week from work I had this great plan . I was going to ask Lorelai for another chance to be a family. I had a week to convince her of me and of us. I drove with Gigi on a warm Sunday to Stars Hollow. Rory was at Yale and it gave me the chance to focus entirely on Lorelai. She still wasn't in a better mood after the break up with Luke the previous week. She assured everyone that she was fine but I just could thell that she wasn't. That even made me more determined to win her back. I made her dinner, surprised her with a movie night, I flirted with her, tried to make her laugh but no matter with how much effort I tried to make her forget Luke and see me – it just didn't work.
Then Thursday came. The day when everything changed from bad to worse. Luke didn't only leave Lorelai but also Stars Hollow and I found myself in a situation where I had to deal with the two Lorelais in a way I never had to deal before. They were sad, upset and unbelievably silent.
That night I went to bed thinking about Lorelai and Rory and how they reacted to Luke's departure. I didn't expect so many emotions from them. I also didn't expect myself to feel jealous of Luke. How was it possible that I felt more jealous of him even when he was no longer there? No longer in their lives.
Although I knew the reason why I just didn't want to face it. I still hoped that the whole Luke issue would be forgotten soon. I was still hoping for a new chance with Lorelai. In the morning after we found Lorelai asleep at Luke's I received an answer even without asking her the question.
It was early and I was on my way to the kitchen to make some coffee when I heard muffled sounds coming from her room. I quietly opened her door and was greeted by a heartbreaking sight. Lorelai was curled up on her bed just like the night before in Luke's apartment. Her back was to me and her head was burried in the pillow while she cried and cried. I felt lost and helpless and after debating what to do I just turned and walked downstairs.
Now I found myself in almost the same situation.
Lorelai wasn't crying this time. She was actually smiling but I still felt helpless. I was back in Stars Hollow without Gigi and without telling Lorelai. I thought I'd surprise her and see if she was doing fine again. After only watching her for a minute I knew that it wasn't the case. She still wasn't fine. I stood there on the porch of the Dragonfly Inn and watched her chat with some guests. There she was dressed in an elegant grey suit, her hair dark and curly, her face covered in perfect make up. She was smiling and even laughing a few times. The persons around Lorelai seemed captivated by her but they didn't see what I saw...even from this distance. She was hurt. Her pretty clothes and perfect hair and make up might disguise her hurt to a stranger but not to me. Her beautiful blue eyes that usually were full of emotions seemed lifeless. There was no laughter, no happiness in them. To me they just seemed empty. I walked to the back of the inn where my car was parked and got into it. Several thoughts occupied my mind. One of them was the fight I had with Rory last week. When she accused me of "stealing" Lorelai from Luke, but I especially recalled her apology afterwards. I realized something that I haven't before. Rory apologized to me because she yelled at me but she never apologized for the words she said. She wasn't sorry for a single thing she accused me of.
"To me...no, to us you're very important but so is Luke. He's been a part of our lives since forever. I want him to come back." - Her words from that night stirred something in me and I just couldn't ignore the unpleasant thoughts that I was pushing aside for weeks now.
Lorelai and Rory didn't need me in their lives. Not in the way they needed Luke. What were Rory's other words? "He's there?" "He's been there since forever?" – Something that with a great regret I couldn't say of myself. My thoughts were interrupted by the ringing of my cell phone. Whoever it was I didn't feel like talking and that's why I waited for it to stop ringing. Once it stopped I understood that even though I felt awful for not having the chance to spend my life with Lorelai's and Rory's as a family I wanted them to be happy. I needed to put my own happiness on hold in order to make them happy and content again. I started the engine and put my car into motion while I thought of persons who could help me in this particular matter. One name sounded very promising. "Robert Feldman" – I spoke out loud his name into the empty car. Robert is a friend back from high school. We still saw each other occasionally when I visit my parents in Hartford. Rob works for the mayor of the city and I'm sure if there's someone who could help me then it's him. I called my secretary and asked her for Rob's phone number. Soon she connected me with his office and I hoped that Robert would agree to help me.
After my phone call to Robert I drove to Hartford and went to my favorite place to have lunch. The whole time staring at my cell phone in front of me, waiting for Rob to call me back. Finally he did and I was told the informations I was hoping for...when and where Luke's credit card was used.
x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x
19. That was the number on the door I was staring at for minutes now. I knew Luke was on the other side of that door – that's what his credit card bill said. Somehow I just couldn't raise my hand and knock.
"You're doing this for Lorelai and Rory." – I repeated for the thousandth time since I decided to come here and face him.
It occurred to me how ironic this situation was. Last week I was trying to convince Lorelai of a future with me and now I was standing here and was about to convince another man of her love for him.
I finally brought up the courage to knock on his door. I heard movement inside the room and prepared myself for the unexpected but also the inevitable. The door opened and a very shocked Luke Danes stared at me.
"How the hell did you find me?"
"We can waste time with that little anecdote or talk about the really important stuff." – I said and strode past him into the room.
"Too bad. I don't want to talk to you at all." – He said and opened the door wider as a hint for me to leave. I just stared at him and didn't move an inch.
"I know you don't give a damn about what I have to say..."
"Well if you already know that then why waste your breath?"
"Because it's for Lorelai. Just this one time I need to do something that's right for her." – Luke just stared at me anger evident in his look. "Listen, nothing happened between Lorelai and me..." – He snorted in disbelief and tried to say something but I just continued to speak. "...that's the truth. I admit that I wanted her back, that I tried to win her back. I wanted us to be a real family. In the beginning nothing I did or said worked. Then one day I noticed that she started to spend more and more time with me and Gigi. I didn't understand why the sudden change but I was happy about it. I thought she was falling in love with me again.
I really wanted her to. When you two broke up I saw my real chance. It wasn't until I saw Lorelai at the Dragonfly today that I realized that it doesn't matter what I want. The only thing that matters is what she wants and that ain't me.
I now understand that Lorelai is just afraid of her feelings for you. I guess they overwhelmed her and she ran away and somehow she ran to me. Well that's what Rory said. According to my daughter the only reason Lorelai ran away from you was because I'm the "easy way out". A reason for Lore not to deal with her feelings." – I stopped for a moment waiting for a reaction from him but there was none.
Luke just continued to stand there with the still open door behind him. A blank look upon his face.
"Go back to her, forgive her. Not because I ask you to but because she loves you and because you love her. Don't wait too long. Don't repeat my mistake." – With that said I walked out of the room and shut the door behind me. After I got into my car I looked up at the building before me and a thought crossed my mind. I don't know Luke but there was something about that blank expression on his face. Somehow I couldn't help but think that like Lorelai's eyes his were empty too.
TBC
AN: this chapter didn't turn out to be the way I wanted it. I rewrote it over and over again and still it's not the way I planned to write it. In this chapter I just wanted Christopher to realize that there's no Lorelai in his future. I hope it was clear :)