Disclaimer: I still don't own the Gilmore Girls nor the song "I try" by Macy Gray

AN: Thanks for the reviews. I think almost everyone asked when L would come back orif he would come back orwhen LL would be together again. All I have to say is...I have a plan ;)

Now enjoy the new chapter

I try to say good bye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Friday, 1.15 (8 days since Luke left) Rory's POV

I didn't remember the last time I was awake at one in the morning. I only wished there was a better reason for my sleepless night, but there wasn't. The night was supposed to be nice and fun. Sookie, Lane and I had surprised mom with a movie night at our house. An evening with mom's favorite movies and Sookies delicious food. Sookie had even sang and danced to 'Ladies night'.
We've chatted and laughed and ate but I could feel that mom was not really herself. The lack of mocking and quoting the movies was a sign that she wasn't feeling as well as she wanted others to believe. I could tell by that and the way she laughed. She didn't laugh wholeheartedly like she used to. "Or maybe she did? Maybe I'm just exaggerating?" – Questions like those didn't let me sleep. I thought about mom and Luke and dad's surprising decision. Too many thoughts and questions swirled around my head and the worst thing...I had no idea how to solve or even forget them.

After several attempts to fall asleep I gave up and got out of bed. I thought about drinking a glass of milk but then I remembered the tea mom bought for Luke. I made a cup and decided to go outside. When I stepped on the porch the chilliness of the night took me by surprise. I walked back into the house and retrieved a blanket that I wrapped around myself.

I stepped outside again and sat down on the swing. With the tea cup in my hands and the blanket around my shoulders I enjoyed the silence around me. My thoughts returned to mom and the movie night. During our second movie she astonished us all with an unexpected confession.

"I told him I love him." – We all looked at her the movie forgotten. She was looking straight ahead at no one particularly.

"Really?"

"Yes. Well he was asleep but I've said it nonetheless." – None of us said something but waited for her to continue. "I was at the diner and too tired to go home, so I waited for him to close up. Then we went together upstairs. I changed into his shirt....the shirt he threw away..." – Mom said in a tiny voice as a single tear slipped down her face. She wiped it away and carried on with her story. "I was fast asleep but some time later I woke up. It was still dark outside and even too early for Luke. I admit that I hog all the pillows during the night but he hogs the whole bed. He never sleeps on his side but always in the middle of the bed." – She stopped talking and a smile appeared on her face. Her look was distant and I knew that she was lost in some memory. I was afraid to speak or eve to move. Afraid I'd ruin the moment she was having or be the reason her smile would fade away. It was the first time I saw her really smile in days.
"Anyway,..." – she said after the small pause. "I woke up and laid my head down on his chest. I started to think about him and me and how wonderful everything was. I wondered why our relationship felt different from any other relationship I ever had? What was the difference? And then it him me. Luke. He was the difference. I've never known anyone like him. The things I felt were real not just imagination or the hope to feel that way.
The way he touched me made my skin tingle differently and everytime he'd smile at me it felt....it...it seemed that the butterflies in my stomach danced to another rhythm. When we kissed it felt special. I always felt special. That may sound like something from a stupid romance novel with Fabio on cover but I didn't care then. I just looked up and into his face. He was slumbering peacefully and that very moment I realized that I was in love. I was in love with Luke. Then I said it. I love you....It was so easy to say and it felt great to hear myself saying It out loud. I promised to myself to take the first step and tell him in the morning. The morning came and went and I left to work without telling him. For some reason I felt afraid. Everytime I tried to say it the words just wouldn't come out. It was frustrating 'cause I couldn't understand why it was so hard to tell himt. I still don't understand it. I tried to tell him in other ways but I guess he didn't understand. 'Cause now he's not here anymore."

"Mom..."

"Honey, I think I'm going to bed now. Girls it was a wonderful evening. Thank you. Sookie the food was delicious like always."

"Hon, are you sure you don't want to..." – Mom didn't even let Sookie finish her sentence.

"We should do this again. Maybe next weekend?"

"Mom..." – I tried again but she was already climbing the stairs to her room.

"Good night ladies."

"Night." – The three of us said at the same time.

Sookie and Lane left shortly afterwards and I cleaned up a bit before going to bed myself. After she had finished her little anecdote about Luke I wanted to tell her that we should look for him. That we could find out where he was. We could talk to that couple that owned the restaurant to which Luke took mom on their first date. Hell, I was even ready to call Jess and ask him if he knew something.

My thoughts were interrupted by bright headlights of a car. It came down our street and pulled up into our driveway.
"Was it? No, couldn't be...or?...Luke?" – The door opened and he stepped out.

"Luke." – It was really him. I stood up and ran down our front stairs. He seemed very surprised to see me but I'm sure he felt even more surprised when I hugged him. He let out a short laugh, a sound I wasn't really familiar with.

"Hey, Rory. I didn't expect to meet you here."

"Me neither. I mean, I didn't expect to see you...at all." – I told him after I had pulled away from him. "But I'm so glad that you're back." – He looked a bit uncomfortable so I added – "Don't worry. You don't have to explain anything to me. Although I'm sure that a certain other Lorelai would appreciate it."

"Yeah, well..."

"That 'yeah, well' worries me a bit. You're not going away again, right? You can't. If you're worried about mom don't be. Dad is gone and I'm totally sure that mom wants you here and if you talk to her she'll understand and...and she'll look back at this whole Luke-is-gone-thing as one of your little fishing trips...this one just lasted a bit longer than usual....and..."

"Rory." – Luke interrupted my babbling with a hand on my shoulder. "Take a deep breath." - I did as I was told.

"You're not gonna leave again, right?"

"Right."

"Good." - I breathed out and felt relief wash over me. "That's good." – I told him again and smiled at him.

We walked in silence to the swing and sat down.

"How...how is your mom?"

"She's been better. Your disappearing act was not easy on her."

"I'm sorry."

"Again, the wrong Lorelai. Besides that I'm sure it wasn't easy for you either"

"No, it wasn't." – He said quietly and I knew that it was the truth. Luke loved mom so much. It was probably very hard for him to leave his whole life behind him. I could never do that.

"You said your dad is gone?"

"Yeah, yesterday he came to inform us that from now on he'll be taking care of Gigi by himself. I'm sorry that he caused problems. I warned him, warned him twice but he still..."

"Rory, it wasn't his fault. I mean – yeah, he was one big obstacle but your mom and I are at fault here."

"I know it wasn't entirely his fault but he wasn't a help either."

"Actually, he did help a bit." – I looked up at him in disbelief.

"What? How?"

"Long story. I'll tell you tomorrow. Shall we go inside?" – Although I was curious about the comment about dad I let it rest for now.

"Sure."

"What were you doing outside anyway?"

"I couldn't sleep and decided ..."

"To drink coffee?" – He pointed to the cup on the floor.

"Believe it or not but it's not coffee."

"No?"

"Nope. It's tea." – I showed him the almost empty cup.

"I've heard that wonders happen but I never believed that I'd witness one."

"Funny." – I took the blanket too and walked into the house. Luke followed and he looked around the living room shortly.

"I think I should go upstairs."

"You do that. Good night."

"Good night." – I headed back to my room but turned around to face Luke again. He was already on the way upstairs. "Luke?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm glad that you're home."

"I'm too, Rory."– He smiled at me one more time and I walked back into my room. As crawled under my comforter I somehow knew that sleep wouldn't be a problem anymore.

TBC