A Step Away
I. A Step Away From the Darkness
Trust
The Jedi Council had never been known for its relative friendliness. All those who came back from meetings with the Council had only horror stories to tell of the interrogations that they had suffered at the hands of the Jedi Masters. They were unnerved and perturbed by their ability to read their innermost thoughts and when information was not forthcoming…other methods could be used. With this in mind, Revan was a bit reluctant to enter the Council Chamber and stand for questioning. In fact, she was quite reluctant to even be in the same building with them due to certain actions they had committed in the past.
Sure the Council had been rearranged at some point or another, but Revan couldn't help but feel uneasy. They had fabricated an entire existence for her (which made things damn confusing as to who she really was) and then used her to do their dirty work. Revan hated being used despite the fact that she was three people: pre-Revan, Libra and post-Revan. All three were not used to being puppets. Pre-Revan and Libra already knew this; post-Revan had been discovering all manners of things about herself after the incident on the Leviathan. As she was, Revan was sure that the Council had made no changes to her personality, only erased the memories of darkness from her mind and therefore freeing of her of the darkside's taint.
Or was she?
Well, if she was, she wouldn't have to be standing in a room full of self-righteous bigots, that's for sure. She already knew what was coming her way once she set foot into their chamber:
"Padawan, blah blah blah darkside blah blah Star Forge blah blah blah."
"That's right, Master Head-Up-My-Choobies, I was very bad."
"Blah blah blah Malak blah blah death blah blah blah blah evil blah galaxy."
"The galaxy is evil you say, Master Hypocrite? Why I quite agree…"
"Blah blah - "
"No, let me guess…blah blah evil blah blah blah? Don't look so surprised, I'm a quick study…or didn't you know that? Blah blah?"
"Revan, blah blah bad person blah blah atonement blah blah pardon blah blah punishment blah blah Bastila."
"You want to punish Bastila? Go ahead, good Masters, and while you're at it, why don't you shove your lightsabers right up your - "
Revan was interrupted from her thoughts by a timid Mon Calamari. "Padawan," interrupted the Council aide, "they will see you now."
Revan forced a smile and followed the Mon Calamari into the spartan, circular room. While it had some elegance to it, there was nothing within it that gave the onlooker an impression that this was a happy, welcoming place. The colors, while muted, seemed harsh and coarse in comparison to the softer architecture of the lower hallways. There were many windows to allow in light, but other then the chairs positioned in a semi circle, there weren't any objects of interest to look at. It was probably intentional on the part of the Masters. If focus could not be kept on the issue at hand, then you didn't deserve to be there.
The Council itself was the most peculiar thing about the chamber. Twelve different individuals of varying backgrounds sitting in an intimidating circle about the speaker. Oh, and look, it was her two favorite individuals sitting among them: Masters Vrook and Vandar. She sketched a low bow and folded her hands behind her back. She wrung them several times to try and relieve some of her tension. She gave surreptitious glances to the hands of each member with the hope that perhaps one had her lightsabers. They had better give them back to her – she had some pretty damn powerful crystals stored within them. Pretty damn powerful and EXPENSIVE crystals, to say the least. If anything had happened to them -
"It has been a long time, Padawan Revan," said a red Twi'lek female. She was seated at the center of the semi circle, dressed in robes of warm peach. Her boots tapped a little rhythm on the floor. She had obviously not been a Jedi her entire life. "It warms my heart to see you still alive and well. We had feared the worst when we heard the Star Forge had exploded."
Revan managed a polite smile. "I'm sorry, but I don't know your name." Diplomatic instincts (with a smuggler's flair) started to kick in – how she loved her old habits. "We must have been acquainted before the mind wipe. Am I right?" She raised an eyebrow and gave a half smile. She looked perfectly innocent and meek and hoped that her irritation could not be felt through the Force.
"My name is not important, Padawan," replied the Master. She peered at her over the tips of slim, red fingers.
Oh but it is. Thought Revan. Were you in on it too? To act so cordially as if you had done nothing wrong, as if you hadn't already destroyed my life. Perhaps you inspired me to walk my dark path. Perhaps you're all to blame. If I could live my life over then I'd at least have one more chance to -
"Padawan?"
Revan jolted back to reality. "My apologies, Master. I am…tired. I just arrived. What was it you said?" You drag me from my transport, with no chance to clean myself up or the time to take a nap and you have the nerve to question me? That's what you get for being rude…
"I had asked if you had anything to share with the Council about your mission," reiterated the Twi'lek. The calm, easy gaze remained. She knew more then she was letting on. She was going to do something.
"I had asked if you had anything to share with the Council about your mission," reiterated the Twi'lek. The calm, easy gaze remained. She knew more then she was letting on. She was going to something."What do you want to know?" asked the Consular. She kept a wary eye on the Twi'lek before scanning the other Masters' faces. What had they planned for her in advance?
"Things of importance," stated the Twi'lek simply.
Revan gave an amused grin. "Things of importance? Well," she gave a little laugh and wrung her hands again. "Malak admitted that the lightside was stronger than the darkside before he died. Other then that," she shrugged, "I don't know what else I can tell you."
"I told you she would not cooperate," commented a male Zabrak.
"Yes, I had feared as much," responded another.
"Cooperate?" Revan raised an eyebrow and put some distance between herself and the Council. "I am cooperating, ask me and I will tell you." Don't try anything funny, Masters. You may not like the consequences.
The Council paid no attention to her. They didn't want her answers; they wanted an excuse to do whatever it was they had planned.
"We will have to resort to our back up plan," suggested a Ryn seated on the far left of the Council.
"Are you sure that is wise, Master Je'roth?" The Twi'lek stole a glance at Vrook. Was she seeking his approval?
Revan took another step back, incredibly leery of the situation going on around her. This back up plan did not sound like one she wanted to be involved with. Her eyes scanned the Council suspiciously, the Code be damned, where did the Code say that it was right for them to interrogate her in such a fashion?
"The Code," said an Iktotchi master, "are the tenets of our order. There is no ignorance, there is knowledge. We are ignorant and require knowledge. Your knowledge," he sensed her trepidation, " there is no need to be alarmed or difficult."
The Consular had the distinct feeling that she was once again damned. She had first felt it after agreeing to find Gadon's prototype accelerator and then again when she had spoken the Sith Code on Korriban. How was she to know that they had a telepathic Master sitting in and viewing her thoughts. Damn it, they didn't need the Force, he could read her like a book and she knew he knew it.
"So ask me your questions and get your knowledge." Revan placed a hand on her hip and let the other dangle at her side. The Jedi masters were still conversing serenely with one another about the back up plan.
"You know what happened last time we did that," commented a Jedi wearing a traditional Alderaanian robe.
"Yes, but it is the only real way we'll know for sure. Like before, she could just as easily evade our answers and project a false aura. It is becoming something of a habit with the younger students." The Ryn's musical intonation hummed about the room as he spoke.
"I wonder where such teaching comes from? There is no data available in the archives about this, is there?" asked a Trandoshan master. (Revan was surprised to see one of them actually sitting on the Council. They did not strike her as Jedi material with their reputation for bounty hunting.)
"It is strange, but not unexpected," whistled the Khil Master.
"More importantly," pressed the Zabrak, "how are we going to break through the walls?"
Revan's back hit the door – she couldn't get any further away. "You are not breaking through anything!" She raised a hand in warning and fixed them all with her most intimidating stare. What was it with these people?
The Twi'lek stood with a reluctant sigh. "I will do this. Master Quelnath, if you would be so kind?"
The Iktotchi stood, his head swaying side to side from the weight of his horns. The two Masters made their way closer to Revan. The Twi'lek placed one of her hands in the Iktotchi's and raised the other, palm facing towards Revan. "Relax, Padawan. Relax." Ripples of energy flowed from her.
Revan shook her head to clear away the feelings of drowsiness coming over her. She tried to call upon the Force, but it was hidden from her. She tried to bring her arms in front of her to fend off the Jedi, but grunted in frustration when they drooped to her sides unable to move. "What…are…you…doing…to…me…" she gasped. The more she tried to call upon the Force and fight against the Jedi's approach, the heavier she felt. Her knees buckled beneath her and she fell forward to the ground.
"This won't hurt," came the soothing voice of the Twi'lek Jedi.
And then the world went black.
(((((((((()::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::>
"I'm all ears, beautiful," Carth winked at her, a welcoming change from his earlier callous exterior.
Libra couldn't help but allow herself a saucy grin and comment. It wasn't every day that Carth Onasi fell into a woman's lap! "I like the sound of that."
"Which, the fact that I'm all ears or the beautiful part?" He leant his body against a door jam. The two strands of hair that he had managed to contain earlier that morning found their way free.
"The beautiful part. Keep calling me that." No man had ever really called her beautiful before, unless he wanted something from her. Carth appeared to be different. She enjoyed the attention.
Carth raised an eyebrow. "I might consider it, but what are you going to call me in exchange?"
It was a challenge.
Libra loved challenges. "How about…" she paused for dramatic effect. "Sexist worm." She stuck her tongue out at him and sauntered away, swinging her hips in a come hither motion.
Expectedly, Carth followed. "Is that it? Come on," he gripped her arm and turned her around, "you can do better then that."
"Hairless Wookie!" she teased, pushing the two errant tendrils off his forehead.
"Ouch. Now that is better. I bet gorgeous doesn't sound so bad in comparison, does it?" Carth was just asking for a kiss with his lips pursed like that.
But Libra couldn't kiss him…
("I think we've seen enough, Master Relanai. If you could continue on, please.")
("Of course, Master Je'roth.")
"Just take the serum to Zax at the bounty office," whispered Gurney as Libra and Carth left the medical facility. "You won't regret it, trust me."
Libra gave him a withering look. "I'd rather give it to Zelka. He'll use it to help people, not make money."
"Just think about the offer," Gurney pressed, his eyes sweeping to Libra's front again.
"Pray to whatever gods you worship that we don't meet outside of this facility," hissed Libra. "You make sick..."
("Shall I move it forward, Masters?")
("Not too far forward…")
("Ermm…")
"And the Wookies let you do this?!" exclaimed the Jedi.
"We have made a deal with their chieftain," explained the Czerka representative.
"Who is it?" Libra asked.
"I don't know if I should say…"
Libra waved her hand behind her back. "You want to tell me who is selling the Wookies into slavery."
The Ithorian gave a small gurgle before responding. "His name is Chuundar."
Zalbaar gave a snarl. 'That is not a name I wanted to hear.'
"Why is that, Zalbaar?" inquired Carth.
'I do not wish to talk about it,' explained the Wookie.
"This slaving is wrong," commented Libra. "I can't let it continue."
The Czerka rep shook his head. "That is not up to you, human. We have deals and trading rights. We are quite authorized to do this and it would be beyond your means to stop us."
"Nothing is beyond my means." Libra turned a serious, imposing stare on the alien. " This will end..."
("Very good, Relanai. If you would be so kind?")
"Peace is a lie, there is only passion. Through passion I gain strength. Through strength I gain victory. Through victory, my chains are broken. The Force shall free me," Libra recited. Her dark colored garb contrasted with the paleness of her skin and hair. She didn't belong there.
"Good. You have impressed me. Go now, and earn more prestige," Uthar returned to a meditative position on the floor.
Libra returned to her bunk and gathered Carth and Juhani. "I think I know where I can find proof for…for Dustil." She made a quick glance to Carth, but he showed no emotion…
("Speed this forward, young one.")
("As you command, Master.")
Libra handed Carth the data pad who in turn handed it to his son. She looked expectantly at the young man. His face became pained and the data pad crashed to the floor.
"No, this says they…they…" the young man took a seat on his bed to steady himself.
"Killed her because she was hindering your progress!" finished Carth. "Superiority at all costs, there's your evil, Dustil. Or can you live with that?"
"No, no I can't. I guess you're right." He looked at his father. "I have to stay father. I have friends here, at the academy. I have to warn them…"
Carth grimaced at the fact that his son would not return with him. "There's no way I can convince you to leave? I suppose you won't do anything half-way…sounds familiar."
"Yeah," Dustil nodded. "It does."
"I'm proud of you son. You're not clinging onto a lie even after discovering it for what it is," Carth hesitantly reached out his arm to pat Dustil on the back.
"Maybe after this is all over, we can…talk. I'll go back to Telos once this is finished." Dustil gave his dad a slow smile.
Carth's joy expanded three times over. "Well, I'd like that."
"Goodbye, father."
"Goodbye, son."
Libra gave a sigh of relief as Dustil's form walked away. She turned to Carth. "Do you think you'll see him again…"
("Are you going some where with this, Relanai?")
("I am.")
("Then make your points.")
("This can not be rushed or else you risk damage to her mind. You suggested this, may I respectfully add.")
"Don't torture him anymore!" cried Libra, desperate to end Carth's screaming. The shock on her face became horror as she watched the electricity flow through his body. It broke her heart.
Saul gave an evil smile "Now... tell me your mission. How were the Jedi planning on using you to stop Lord Malak and our Sith armada?"
Libra snarled at the Admiral. "I refuse to answer this!" If she could just use the Force, she'd rip Saul's beating heart out of his chest.
"Perhaps you need a reminder of the consequences of refusing to cooperate?" Saul brought the torture field back to activation.
Carth's wail split Libra's soul in two. She closed her eyes and turned her head away. If she watched it…she would break. She'd tell Karath everything he'd want to know just to be able to hold him in her arms and stop the pain. Carth was not an expendable member of her crew; she wouldn't see him killed. Then again, she wasn't about to betray the Republic, and that would hurt Carth more than any physical pain could.
"Listen, can you not hear him suffering? You can spare him further pain by simply answering my questions. Now, I will ask again - on what mission did the Jedi Council send you?
"Get your answers elsewhere, meatbag!" Spat the smuggler.
Saul feigned reluctance and gave a sigh. "Perhaps another lesson is in order?"
Up went the torture field. Libra blocked out Carth. She tried to draw on the link form Bastila to give her strength, but it felt cold and alien to her mind. She let it drop and waited for Carth's pleading to quiet down.
"Tell me, how did you find out about the Star Forge?" Karath stopped the torture field and Carth crumpled against the front of his cell. He didn't look at her.
"We found Malak's diary!" she hissed.
Saul's hand fingered the torture button lovingly. "A diary? This is not the time for jokes! I will only ask you one more time: How did you find out about the Star Forge?"
Libra's resolve held firm. "You are a sick, evil man, Saul Karath."
The Sith Admiral just gave sigh of resignation and set all the torture fields on 'high.' "I see I am wasting my time here. When Malak arrives you will learn my interrogation techniques are considered merciful among the Sith. I will leave you here in your cell with a small taste of the horrors you will suffer when Lord Malak arrives." He gave a signal to the two Sith Guards standing nearby.
The pain Libra felt was excruciating. It was beyond that; it transcended anything she'd ever felt before in her life. How did he do it, how could Carth stand that much? Her nerves screamed as the volts of electricity passed through her body. It was so unbearable she couldn't even cry out, she just shook and rattled the sides of her tube. Why wouldn't it stop! Why did he leave? She'd tell him everything he wanted to know, just to make the pain stop.
Her rational mind battled for control over her baser instincts; self-preservation was not an option in this case. Carth had suffered worse than her…Carth was…she blacked out.
("I see what you are trying to accomplish, Relanai, but we are running out of time!")
("Just a little longer, Master Quelnath. There are only a few more things they have to see.")
"No, no. NO! NO! Lies. It's all…lies. LIES LIES LIES!" It couldn't be true, she hadn't really been…no. no. Denial. But it must be true, the others…the others turned away from her. They couldn't look upon the person who had brought them so much pain and despair. She had killed their families, their dreams. "STOP IT!" It was Bastila's fault…not her fault…
"You knew it all along, didn't you, Revan?"
"I'm not Revan," another step back. "I'm not Revan." The lightsabers fell from her hands as she continued her retreat to the door. "I'm not Revan." Her eyes were wide as she stared at Malak. She looked through him and saw nothing but her own darkness. The memories were coming back. "I'M NOT REVAN!" and then she shattered with a heartbreaking wail of despair.
She just fell. Her legs crumpled under the strain of the truth. She clawed at the door to get out, banging her fist and head against it. Carth recoiled at the sounds of skin on metal. "I'm not her! I'm not her…" she whispered. She rocked back and forth against the cool steel. She wanted to disappear. A ghost of a caress on her mind made her turn towards Bastila. Revan's voice was hollow as she asked for the answers to the questions that she had so longed to find. Bastila could not take the intensity of her eyes and relinquished her hold on the bond. She turned away.
"You are nothing now, Revan, but a pathetic fool."
She crumpled face first to the floor sobbing. Her body shook with the violence of her grief. Revan could have been overreacting, but the screaming in her head was driving her to madness and back. Her hands clutched her skull and she shrieked out curses and apologies to people long since dead. She wanted to be consumed by the emptiness within her soul. The sound of a footstep made her head shoot up and she pinned Carth to the ground with her gaze.
The look of anguish on Carth's face was the final straw. She gave a strangled order for him to kill her. She cried for him to take his last revenge and end all the pain in both their hearts. He dropped his own blasters in shock and retreated from the fury of her words.
Bastila moved to recite the code, thinking it would calm her down, but Revan only recoiled away... There had been no accusation, no calm acceptance; she immediately jumped headfirst into the darkness of her emotion. It was a dangerous reaction. Her hands clenched and unclenched as she tried to master herself. She anchored herself to Carth, drawing on her bond with Bastila and the new one with Carth to give her strength.
"Cry, Revan. Cry for the darkness you succumbed to and all the deaths you created. You were glorious. We were glorious. The thrill of the taint still resides within you. What did these Jedi do but cause you such pain? If not for them, there would be no remorse." Malak waved his hand and her crewmembers were encased in a stasis field. "You would still be…" He stopped. Malak had to stop as the air was forcibly squeezed from his lungs.
Slowly Revan stood, calling on the Force to steady her aching body and keep Malak prone long enough so that she could get her bearings. Unbridled anger and fury was etched on her face. There was some solace in darkness for her. She took two steps forward and her lightsabers came flying back to her hands. They ignited and she charged…
("Very interesting…")
("Carry on, if you please.")
("Very well…")
"I love you," said Carth, "and I can't wait until all of this is over with." He beamed at her, the sun glinting off his teeth. That was the biggest smile she had seen him give and she was the cause of it! .
Libra wrapped her arms about his neck and he swung her around. "I love you too!"
They both laughed gaily as they twirled about the sand.
"Sheesh. Get a room, will you?" interrupted Mission.
The spinning stopped and both Jedi and pilot blushed.
'That two spirits have found each other amidst such turmoil is a good omen, Mission. Does it not please you to see?' reprimanded Zalbaar.
"Oh, sure. Even a good omen can get itself a room, though, don't ya think?" grumbled the Twi'lek.
"You two kids should take love where you find it," added Jolee. "Bah, forget what happens after the mission. You go find some nice quiet planet and make babies. Leave the excitement for someone else."
Libra blushed furiously beside Carth. She kept her eyes focused on the hot sand beneath her boots. Carth's hand was warm in hers and he squeezed her fingers gently. Thanks to Jolee she would never be able to look him in the eyes again….
("I think there is something of more importance that has to be shown.")
("I was just getting to that.")
Malak lay dying on the deck of the Star Forge. His breath came in ragged gasps through the mouthpiece. Libra knelt over him, cradling his head as he died in her arms.
"I shouldn't have doubted you," he gasped. "Even at the end, where I was so blind…you knew the outcome." He clutched her hand in his. "The Darkside was supposed to bring us power. You brought me down this path…"
Libra's eyes released a few tears. "But you…you continued down it. I will take some of the blame, but not all of it."
"You are right," he gave a weak cough, "as you always were. I followed you, Revan, to greatness and glory and we fell together. But the darkness was not enough."
"The darkside is never enough," whispered the woman.
"No, but there is no turning back from here, Revan. The lightside will never take me now. Not after so much…" he gave another cough, "has been lost."
"There is always hope, Malak. You can redeem yourself before death," Libra gripped his hands tightly. "Renounce the darkside." Her tears fell more readily. "Leave it go, my friend"
The Star Forge shuddered around them. The support beams above began collapsing. The station was coming down around them, but Libra was reluctant to let her friend go so easily.
Malak's eyes dimmed….
("That is all, Masters.")
("Thank you, Relanai. What you did was most helpful. We shall consider what you have shown us while we make our decision.")