A Step Away
I. A Step Away From the Darkness
Madness A
She had come to full consciousness six hours earlier, but she hadn't moved from the spot she had awoken from. The Mon Calamari had been kind enough to deposit Revan on her bed for comfort though it did little in the long run. Revan felt hollow and violated. Once again, the Jedi Council had entered her mind without permission. Ironically, she had been very willing to forgive them the first time around, they did need the information in her head…but now they had overstepped their bounds. Revan would not so easily accept or forget their actions against her.
The grudge might seem contrived to others, but they went into her head! They read her mind and dissected it while she was put to sleep against her will! Was that fair? Was that the Jedi sense of justice? Revan snarled and slammed a fist on the bed beside her.
"Damn you all!" she yelled.
Her voice echoed off the smooth curve of the ceiling. Her quarters within the Jedi Temple were especially soothing, with shades of peach and cream and a very soft, flowing architectural style. The Jedi Council must have been mocking her, deliberately trying to push her into a slow insanity. To think, it would only take one command from her mind and all the baubles and trinkets on the shelves could come flying off and smash on the ground. She could break up the order and peace…but knowing the Jedi, the objects were most likely unbreakable. In any event, she was not about to try and destroy the room. She had to live in it after all.
That did not mean to say that Revan would stop harboring her grudge against the masters. Far from it. She no longer wanted to be a Jedi if anyone could just give the order and thumb through her personal thoughts. It was the strictest violation of her privacy: Revan had some not-so-innocent thoughts in her head. Many were harmless, but a good deal of them involved what she was going to do to Carth once she got the chance. She could just imagine Master Vrook's look of horror at coming across those!
"You probably learnt a thing or two, didn't you, you stodgy, old Bastard?" Revan gave a cruel smile. "I'm quite creative, wouldn't you agree? I bet you didn't know that it was even anatomically possible to do that!" She sketched a picture in the air with her hand. "It's not really my fault. I'm the victim of an overactive imagination. There isn't a lot to do traveling through hyperspace and I have to keep myself busy…or else I'm a world of trouble." Her voice became a whisper, "I waste away of boredom if confined for too long."
No response from the walls was forthcoming. She half expected the Jedi to pop out of them at any minute. There must have been some sort of security device somewhere. Revan's head still hurt from her the desecration, but she was thankful that the Force was at least still under her command. After an initial scan from her prone position, she came to the conclusion that the Jedi had hidden their devices with a Force cloak and that she was, in fact, being watched at that moment. The Jedi would find no entertainment from watching her. Paranoia had never suited her well, so Revan settled for sleep instead.
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Many Apprentices thought that once they become Padawans their traditional Temple schooling would come to an end. Much to their chagrin, this was not the case. Collectively, a group of about forty Jedi had a rotational schedule to teach the Padawans a continual session of more advanced courses; supplemented with homework and guest speakers. Padawans on missions were excused from class, but those that were on Coruscant for longer periods of time were required to attend. It was the instructors' hopes to broaden the horizons of their students and inspire a love of things that they had not yet experienced.
Revan's own Jedi Masterwas a political maven... if he was indeed her 'Master' at all. Revan had too many teachers in her life. Often she had accompanied him to the other Core Worlds, but most of their time was spent on Coruscant negotiating treaties and helping the Senate. An Alderaanian by birth, he knew every trick about diplomacy there was from prolonged exposure and bequeathed this knowledge to his grateful padawan. His hair was going gray at the temples but he still kept up the fitness regime of a young man and made no exceptions for his student. He had seen a great deal of promise in the girl and from his initial meeting knew that she was not a fighter, she had too much power with her carefully spoken words to bother with force of arms. Still, she handled her lightsabers with precision and ease and her command of the Force startled even him at times. He drilled her everyday to keep her in form and worked on enhancing her already powerful connection to the Force.
She was not exempted, however, from attending the volunteer classes; some of which he taught. Her free time still limited by supplementary assignments and training, Revan did what most Padawans did not: she went to the Archives to work. It was a bright afternoon and the sun was filtering in through the windows, highlighting the two figures sitting side beside each other in some corner seats. One was attentively reading a datapad and the other slouched in her chair, legs kicking back and forth.
"That speech you gave was really impressive," commented the antsy figure. Telra Nora, a Nubian, was born with a shocking head of red hair and an insatiable appetite for all things lively. She couldn't keep quiet for more than two minutes and was a good source of information about all the events in the Temple.
Revan idly scrawled notes on some parchment as she studied the subject matter before her: the rules and history of the Telosian people. At sixteen, Revan really did not want to spend her day inside the Temple looking over obscure facts about the humanoid races of the galaxy. She'd rather be meditating in the gardens or doing some practical training, but as it was, it didn't seem as if she had any choice. Her Master was adamant that she learn this, it had been his class after all.
The two Padawans had been friends for as far back as their minds could remember. While the two were as similar as chalk and cheese, they found some satisfying companionship with the other. Telra had never, in their twelve years of friendship, let Revan have a day's peace. Though the blonde Padawan didn't mind this, Telra's effervescent personality could sometimes be a bit much to handle. Revan would never tell Telra this, but sometimes the thought was quite tempting. She had actually tried to hide from her that morning, but the redhead had easily discovered her location from a giggling apprentice and zoomed in on her. Revan said she could stay, so long as she didn't distract her from work. Telra never made good on her promises.
Unaware of her friend's thinning patience, Telra laughed happily. "I've never heard anyone make Bith physiology sound so interesting. You had the entire class in an uproar, you know? If you don't receive top marks for your work - "
"I probably will," interrupted Revan, her tone of voice grave, "at least I better. I spent a good month researching it and conducting interviews not to mention the weeks it took me to write out the speech. High marks take effort."
"But you always have so much time!" exclaimed the other padawan. "You never seem stressed at all, Revan! Its unnerving sometimes; the others think you're hiding something."
Revan shrugged, scratching down a few more words in a hasty, elegant script. "I'm not hiding anything. To be honest, it's really nothing special. I sleep well at night," she turned over the parchment, "that's all there is to it."
"Don't lie, Rev," countered Telra. "There's some secret. Teach it to me!"
Revan paused and looked up, one eyebrow raised in question. "There is nothing to teach, Telra. I do the work when I get it and lay off on the procrastination. I'll do all the work at once and that way I'm free later. Is that so big a secret?"
Telra sighed and tried to read her datapad.
"Its upside down," pointed out Revan.
Telra gave a sheepish grin. "Thanks."
A few moments of silence passed until Telra had another topic to talk about.
"Hey, Rev?"
"Yes, Telra?" came the preoccupied reply. Revan's eyes continued to scan the text before her.
"What do you think of the others in our class? We're going to be assigned partners in a few days." Telra's pool of knowledge did not just encompass the gossip of the students, but the rumors and lesson plans of the teachers.
Revan shrugged her shoulders in reply. "You already know who I'm partnered with, Tel, why not just tell me and I'll answer as best I can."
"Malak Onudon," said Telra slowly, pronouncing each syllable. "The most feared apprentice when we were kids."
"Malak," Revan said slowly, "I don't remember ever feeling fear when around him. He never intimidated me."
"He intimidated me!" exclaimed the other padawan.
Revan's face become thoughtful as her mind searched through various memories. "That was never his intention."
"Sure, sure," Telra wriggled about in her seat some more. "There's always one kid in the class who falls to the darkside. It's going to be him, I'm telling ya."
The blonde girl gave a half smile. "You shouldn't presume to judge others. Neither of us knows Malak as well as we should and therefore have no right to make any decisions regarding his future. Just because he, like I, dwarf you, doesn't mean he's evil, Telra."
Telra made a face. "You do not dwarf me."
Revan snorted, "of course I don't. That's why when you borrowed my robe it trailed behind you for nearly a foot."
"So I'm short, big deal. I still say he'll turn."
"Ever persistent, Tel, ever persistent." Revan returned to her notes.
Telra snatched the datapad away. "You still didn't answer me."
Revan sighed. "Malak's good with a lightsaber, I've seen him in action. He's impressive for someone with his physique, though I would assume that's because what he lacks in speed he makes up for in strength."
"And?" prompted Telra.
"No! No more 'ands!' I have work to do, Telra, and I can't do it with you interrupting my train of thought every few seconds!" Revan snatched the datapad back too quickly for the other girl to see.
Telra did, however, feel the scratch that Revan's nails had made on her finger. It was quite unintentional really, but it was deep enough that a few droplets of blood spilled out. She looked at her hand critically and then turned an impassive stare on Revan. "I'm going to the healers. Who knows what bacteria you have living in your nails."
Revan coldly waved her hand in a gesture of dismissal. As Telra left the archives, it appeared that the other Padawan was back to work carefully scanning the datapad for more information. But that was only an illusion. Revan's eyes were only reading the same sentence over and over again: …it is often that young Telosians will join the militia before entering into the professional field… She immediately straightened up as a shadow fell across her.
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Revan awoke with a start; her eyes snapping open at the chink of glass. Her instincts kicking in, she sprang from the bed and called the blasters hidden beneath her pillows to her hands. Using the Force, the lights were snapped on to push away the darkness that had come with the fall of night. There was no one there and yet the blasters remained aimed. She could see every corner of the room clearly and could feel nothing through the Force, but it would take more then that to convince Revan that she was totally alone.
"Move and I'll shoot you," she called into the air.
She slowly slid back onto the bed, the blasters comfortably settled in her hands. She left the lights on.
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"Padawan, you have grown most impressive."
Revan stood among the Jedi Council not in protest or at fault, but to be praised and rewarded for years of hard training. After twenty years of Temple life, diplomatic study and private lessons, Revan was probably too young to have this day come so soon. This was not her concern though. Her Master's schedule had become increasingly demanding with less and less time for lessons, though in reality, Revan felt there was little more he could teach her.
Recently, Revan had begun to notice the differences between herself and her Master. They did not have the same fighting style for one, he preferring a single lightsaber to her own two and he could offer no wise council about her technique. She developed her style on her own, refusing to turn to other Masters incase of insult to her own. He, being a man, could also not offer a great deal of advice on her more…womanly problems. For those she turned towards Telra. Their only common ground was their fantastic application and knowledge of the political arena. There was no other student in the Temple that matched Revan in sheer knowledge and experience. That was her Master's craft, that's what he groomed her to do in life - he had no other choice but to nominate her for Knighthood because he could teach her no more.
"Indeed, you have proven yourself to be worthy of the title Jedi Knight with your persistent training and hard work. Effort such as you have contributed is rarely seen among the padawans of the Order," Relanai inclined her head in a nod. "I give my approval that you have passed your trials and are ready to be admitted as a full member of the Jedi Order."
The other masters murmured their consent with the statement. Revan had been particularly bright and useful; she was to be merited for her efforts.
The Jedi in question gave a controlled smile. A Jedi must be ever mindful of pride…or at the very least be mindful of it when there were people around who could reprimand you. Now was not a good time to gave a smirk and a wink to the giver of the compliment, it wouldn't be taken favorably by a stodgy master as compared to a single, Coruscanti diplomat. Revan had learnt that the hard way.
"I shall make the decision known and update the Archive's index," said Morio. He smiled at the young woman. "People everywhere will know your name, Revan, I have no doubt of that."
"Let us hope that it will be for your wisdom and not for your sass!" teased the Corellian Jedi, Jadoran Ith. He gave Relanai a covert wink and smile which she returned when no one was watching.
Revan gave him a roguish grin despite herself. As if he had any right to talk! She hadn't pranced about the galaxy for a year and a half, unnerving locals and having a good time blasting space corsairs to bits…and Mandalorians too. Revan's mood soured at the thought. She had been prudent in keeping her opinions about the Mandalorians to herself. Desperately she wanted to stop them, but if the Council had ever gotten word of this, it was likely that she'd never be knighted. "Better that than my charm."
The Council gave a lighthearted chuckle. They liked Revan despite her tendency for boldness. Rashness could be curbed with age and they knew that a person such as Revan would never be able to operate to her full potential under scrutinizing guidance. While they worried that perhaps too little guidance would serve to be her downfall, Revan was as kindhearted and genuine as they came. They had monitored her progress for sometime, ever since a six year old Revan had waited outside their door for three hours to complain about the lack of creative learning in the crèche…and the food the apprentices were served. Of all twenty-five padawans of her age at the Temple, only she was the one who had bothered to solve their problems. Oh yes, she was a promising individual indeed.
"What will you do," asked Kirmo Del, the Zabrak of the Council, "now that you have been granted Knight status?"
"Its not official yet, is it?" questioned Revan.
"The Council has discussed you at much length before your arrival. Your Knighthood has been granted, Jedi Revan, we just need make it public," explained Master Vrook.
Revan was pleasantly surprised and yet not so ready to announce her plans. "I think I will travel," she said cautiously, "and see what I can do for the various systems of the Republic."
"That is admirable," commented Relanai, "but beware of the coming conflict, young Revan."
Inwardly, Revan gave a growl of disapproval. "That of the Mandalorians?"
Relanai nodded.
"Are they a very big threat then, Masters?" asked Revan quietly. There were ways to skirt around the issue at hand and still get what she wanted.
Vandar rewarded her with an inquisitive stare. "Danger enough, young Revan, they are danger enough."
The new Knight filed this information away. "I will remember it, Master Vandar."
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Revan rapidly twisted on her side, the blasters coming up to meet air. The lights were still on in the room and there was no sign of any disturbance. Everything was as it had been before she fell asleep. Cautiously, she looked behind her before sitting up. The blood thrummed in her ears as the adrenaline in her body surged and fell. There was nothing in the room. Not even a sweep with the Force could prove that some 'vergence' had manifested itself in a far corner.
There could be no explanation except that her mind was playing tricks on her, forcing her to believe that there was something to fear when there really wasn't. Her imagination was a vicious thing, but at least it gave her something to do. The thought that danger might be present was something that could keep Revan occupied for hours…but not this Revan.
She promptly lay back down and stared at the ceiling, ticking off the hours until the sun would rise.