TITLE: Workplace Hazards
RATING: PG-13 for so many reasons...
CATEGORIES: Romance/Humor
PAIRING: Duuuuuhhhhhh....
DISCLAIMER: If they were mine, they'd have been screwing each other a long time ago.
SUMMARY: Sequel to "And Then You Laughed" also a response to an Unbound challenge. Just read it.
A/N: Yeah, way over the word-limit. At least twice the limit, in fact. So sue me. ::screams:: I WAS JOKING! Anyway, this follows suit with my other stories in being totally retarded, so...yeah, enjoy!
"So how much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?" Brass asked.
"Huh?" Nick spared him a quick glance before turning back to the NFL game he and Warrick were playing on the PS2.
Brass grinned. "Come on, doesn't anyone know the answer?"
"I always thought that was a rhetorical little thing, like, who washed Washington's whites when Washington's washwoman went west?" Sara mused, as she turned the page of her forensics journal.
"I'd wash your whites, Sara," Greg said, waggling his eyebrows.
She shot him a look. "Shut it, Greggo."
"A woodchuck would chuck as much wood as a woodchuck could chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood."
Everyone in the break room turned to the doorway in surprise. Grissom just shrugged and looked back down at the file in his hands as he slid into a chair. They all waited a second, before Catherine cleared her throat "Uh, Grissom?"
He looked up, frowning slightly. "Yeah?"
Catherine arched a brow, as Nick and Warrick exchanged a look. "Are you gonna assign us cases, or what?"
"Oh." Grissom's brow furrowed for a moment as he looked around the breakroom, his eyes landing in turn on Catherine, who was enjoying a fresh cup of coffee, to Brass, who was just in to get himself a cup, to Nick and Warrick who were involved in their game, to Greg, who was watching them play, finally ending with Sara, curled up in a corner of the couch, engrossed in an article.
He looked back on Nick and Warrick, who had paused the play, waiting. "Oh, you can go ahead and finish that first," he said, waving his hand vaguely in their direction. "Nothing but a trick roll for you two, and then paperwork." Another wave of his hand dismissed them, dropped jaws included, as he turned to Sara. "Good article?"
She rolled her neck, making it pop, before shrugging. "It's an interesting read," she replied flatly.
The night crew expected it to end there, considering how the two acted towards each other now. They were surprised when he spoke again. "Oh? What is it?"
She looked up from the article, her face shuttered. "Applied Psychodynamics in Forensics. Intriguing blurb about airplanes." they watched as their gazes locked and her mouth gave a sharp twitch before her entire face tightened, and she looked away.
How sad. The thought was unanimous. Even after all this time it still hurt to see those two behave that way with each other.
Grissom seemed unfazed. "So you've found my source to be reliable?" She simply shrugged, not looking up. Everyone was shocked when he smiled at her, turning to Brass, who had taken a seat as well. "Slow day Jim?"
Brass nodded, watching his friend keenly. "Though not as slow as yours, apparently."
Grissom sighed, his blue eyes looking upwards. "No bugs, no bodies, Ecklie on my ass about some stupid paper I'm never going to give him..." he settled back further in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest. "I'd call it easy, not slow." His smile remained as he looked around the room once more at the gaping people before him. "I was thinking. I all goes well tonight, and no bodies get in our way...it's been awhile since we've all gone out to breakfast together. What do you say? It'll be on me." Catherine and Brass choked on their coffee, and Nick dropped his controller. Sara just turned another page. Grissom arched a brow. "Any takers?"
"Hey, I'm always in for free food," Warrick said amicably, though the fact that his eyebrows were trying to creep up past his hairline gave away his shock.
"I second that!" Catherine agreed, setting down her mug and smiling. The old Grissom seemed to be out to play tonight. Come to think of it, he'd been more at ease in the past two weeks than he had been in two years. Maybe things were changing for the better.
One by one, every member of the team agreed, but Sara remained silent, still concentrating on the magazine. "Sara? Are you in?" Nick asked, prodding is friend gently.
Sara flipped a page. "...We'll see, Nicky."
There was a moment of relaxed silence before Brass spoke up, his gaze fixed sharply on Grissom. "You're in a good mood today, Gil."
He shrugged, though his smile widened just a bit. "I guess, yeah."
"Come to think of it," Catherine added, her curiosity taking the lead, "You've been really relaxed for a few weeks now. Something good going on?"
He shrugged again. "Just life, I guess." He nodded, as if deciding. "Yeah. Life's pretty good."
"To live is the greatest gift of all?" Warrick asked, trying to think of an appropriate quote for the well-read man.
A strange glint crept into Grissom's eyes. "Funny enough, I was thinking more along the lines of 'There once was a lady from Spain' but that was a rather random choice." Nick dropped his controller again, and Sara stopped mid page-turn.
Greg was grinning. "Finally, the Grissom 'Wild Side' takes center stage!" He cackled. "If you were anyone else, I'd think you were getting laid," he blurted, wiggling his eyebrows again. Everyone stared at him in horrified shock, before their gazes swung to Grissom...
...Who grinned again. Spreading his hands, he cocked his head to the side slightly. "A gentleman never tells, Greg."
Very suddenly, Sara got up from her seat on the couch, and dove for the water cooler, gulping down water and having a slight coughing fit. Everyone watched her with a sympathetic gaze, wondering how he could be so insensitive. When she got herself under control, her face was very tight, and her chin trembled slightly as she chewed on her bottom lip. "Sorry," she said thinly.
"It's alright Sar," Nick said softly, his heart hurting for his friend.
"You OK, kiddo?" Brass was seething. Gil Grissom was without a doubt, the biggest asshole on the planet.
She nodded shortly. "Yeah, just strangled." She grabbed her magazine up, and closed it. "You know, I think I'll go get a head start on that paperwork. I've got a mound of it backed up. Uh, see you." There was a slight tremor in her voice. She quickly disappeared down the hall.
Catherine gave a long-suffering sigh. "For God's sake Grissom, could you please just watch what you say? We all get that you two won't ever be anything, but don't make it any harder on her than it has to be, alright?" She huffed again.
Grissom frowned at this, sitting up straight in his chair. "Don't make uninformed accusations, Catherine. You ought to know that by now."
Brass scoffed. "What, Gil, so Sara's the one you're banging?"
Grissom's face was unreadable. "I don't see that that's any of your business, Jim." He stood up. "I have some paperwork to do too. You guys take your time." He left without a backwards glance.
"Well, it sure as hell isn't Sara, as upset as she was," Greg said absently.
Catherine's pen hit his head sharply. "Shut your big mouth."
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Sara looked down at her watch as he opened the door, he back to him as she shuffled some papers. 3 minutes and 22 seconds. "I can't believe that was a real article."
"Would I lie to you?"
She snorted."They must have really chewed you out."
"Way to make me the bad guy." His low growl curled around her ear hotly.
She shrugged, still not turning. "You walked right into that one, Griss. Greg hit the nail on the head, the way you were acting."
"Yeah, but I'm not the only one who got nailed..." his hands slid around her waist.
She made another strangled noise. "Lay off, hotshot."
He rested his chin on her shoulder, and she could feel him pout. "I'm not usually so bad at getting a rise out of you."
"Yeah, but I'm trying really hard right now to prevent getting a rise out of you." His chuckle shivered down her spine.
"I think they thought you were about to cry." They both knew she had been trying desperately to stifle her laughter and keep a straight face.
"I wasn't sure myself. 'There once was a lady from Spain?" Jesus Griss!" She shook her head.
His nose nuzzled her neck. "Jesus is a good start. I'll just have to work my way up to being God." His teeth nipped her earlobe lightly.
"What has gotten into Grissom?" She mumbled, as he turned her around in his arms. At the now familiar gleam in his dark blue eyes, she cut him off. "Don't answer that."
He grinned wolfishly. "But Sara, it isn't what's gotten into me," his lips attached themselves to her neck as they began to slide back towards his desk chair.
"Gil..." She sighed, her fingers winding their way into his gray curls as he turned them around. She avoided calling him by his Christian name very often, afraid she'd slip at work. But right now...
"It's what I want to get in to you." His legs hit the edge of the chair, and they sank down as she finally gave in and began to giggle.
"Some gentleman you are," she whispered as his lips slammed against hers.
"If you had lost it in the break room, I'd still be sitting there," he muttered against her mouth, as she chuckled again.
"I feel you," She replied coyly.
He groaned softly, and she wasn't sure whether it was their activity or the bad joke. "You know, I've heard more bad plays on words in the past 20 minutes than I ever cared to."
"Well, that doesn't surprise me. After all, the whole laughing business with you was a bit odd when it rose up."
He nodded jerkily as she attacked his ear with her teeth. "Yeah, well...i-its and u-up and coming development," he hissed out distractedly.
She buried her face in his shoulder, her entire body shaking with suppressed mirth. "Gil!"
He growled again, lifting her face and invading her mouth with his tongue as he pulled her flush against him. "That's it," he ground out. "No more laughing at work. New protocol."
"Oh?" her hands slid down his chest, and he jerked when she dug her nails lightly into his stomach. She grinned. Gil Grissom was a man of many secrets, one of which being the fact that he was deathly ticklish. He twisted away from her, making the chair skid on its wheels as he squirmed.
She swallowed his protests, pulling away just as quickly. "You know Gil--Oof!"
She was stopped short when the wildly rolling chair suddenly slammed into a shelf, shaking it's contents dangerously. Sara watched in horrified fascination as a small glass jar above them wobbled, teetered, and fell gracefully onto Grissom's head.
"Ouch! Goddamnit!" The jar bounced off his skull and landed on the floor unharmed. Grissom, however, was not so lucky. "Son of a bitch!" He rubbed the rapidly forming knot angrily, his face pulled into a pained grimace.
"Oh God, Grissom, are you Ok?" Sara stumbled off of him, kneeling down and peering at his face, her eyes full of worry. "Hey, hey, bugman, let me see that." Her fingers gently prodded the lump.
"Ouch," he muttered weakly.
She sighed. "How many fingers am I holding up?"
He squinted, blinking. "Four."
"What day is it?" She asked, sliding his hand into hers and rubbing it soothingly.
"Thursday. Unless it's past midnight. Then it would be Saturday, of course," he mumbled, squeezing her fingers.
With a slight nod of her head, she rose, kissing his forehead gently. "Be right back with something for that." She looked down at the floor, the jar containing "Miss Piggy" lying there innocently. "I always knew she'd get her revenge on you." He snorted.
She returned moments later with a cup of water, two Advil and an ice pack. "Take 'em now, Grissom, take the edge off." He complied silently, touching the spot again gingerly.
"Well, at least now I know why you were so hesitant to start this relationship," She said, trying not to smile.
"Oh?" He glanced up a her, careful to move his head slowly.
She nodded, handing him the frozen blue pack. "Yeah. Making out in your office is definitely a workplace hazard."
He winced as he put the ice pack against his head.
Oh yeah, check out that piece of fluffy stupidness! All spelling errors should be blamed on my beta...the one I don't have. Please be nice, and I may give you another sequel! Review!