"Charlie," he heard as someone approached him from behind. It was Jack, "Whats wrong?"
"Leave me alone, Jack..." Charlie tried to ask politely. He could tell Jack wasn't giving in.
"Look, its not all your fault...the withdrawal symptoms, they can make you do things. Things you normally wouldn't." he tried telling him. Charlie could feel the truth in the words but he was sick of blaming his actions on drugs. He knew he'd eventually have to fess up to not being Mr. Perfect. Charlie sighed and thats when he heard it. The sound of someone else behind them. Charlie was almost too afraid to look.
"Withdrawal symptoms?" asked the sweet innocent voice. He slowly turned. Claire. Jack dropped his head in shame. He had been careless. Niether of them had noticed Claire following.
"I'm sorry, Charlie," Jack apologized. Honest mistake. And Charlie knew he couldn't continue running forever. "I'll, uh, let you guys talk..." And so on that, Jack left them alone. Charlie could feel his throat begin to close up. Claire's pale blue eyes twinkled at him.
"Charlie, what was Jack talking about?" she asked him, inquisitively. He gulped.
"Claire..." he tried to start but he was so ashamed. What could he say? How could he say it? "I-" He stole a glance at her. Her focus never faltered off of him. But Charlie couldn't help but continue looking down at the tiny baby in her arms. And then over towards the jungle was Locke. Charlie gulped again. Locke looked at him, almost like saying 'Go on, Charlie. Tell her.'
So, he took a deep breath, closed his eyes and when he opened them said, "I was a drug user for five years." he said, then paused to see if her expression had changed at all. It didn't. "And, um, well I burned my stash a couple days ago. And now I'm going through, uh, detox...which, uh, kind of sucks." Once more, he looked at her. Her face was curious. He couldn't tell exactly if it was shock or interest but both frightened him. So he continued out of anxiousness, "I wanted to tell you, I did, I was just so afraid you'd think badly about me."
"Charlie, I don't know what to say..." she finally spoke, taking a deep breath and readjusting the baby in her arms, "So...the clowns?" At first, he had no idea what she was talking about. Clowns? Then he remembered. His lie. Charlie felt his chest close up on him.
"Bollocks..." he told her in shame. She nodded and then looked down in thought. The seconds that passed as she did this were torture. Charlie was begginning to wonder how much more he could take before he really just died.
Then she looked back at him, "And what about your fear of being useless? Was that bollocks as well?" Surprised by her question, Charlie revived himself.
"No, I didn't lie about that." he corrected her. Claire let free a small smile.
"Good," she added, "'Cause I think Grant just pooped and I need you to clean it for me. Its the only way I'll forgive you." Charlie could barely believe his ears.
"Really??"
"Charlie, I think its great your getting off the drugs. I don't know why you would ever feel ashamed about that. Its very brave." Now that was one word no one had ever used when describing Charlie Pace. He allowed himself to smile alittle bit.
"Brave?"
"Well, first lets see you clean Grant up and then we'll decided how brave you are..." she joked. Charlie laughed. Yay, he thought, give me detox anyday! Charlie looked back over to where Locke was. He was heading into the jungle. Charlie just had to talk to him.
"Hold on, Claire, I will be right back!!" he told her and chased after Locke. After catching up, Charlie took a breather before spitting out the great news, "Locke! She isn't mad!"
"Why should she be?"
"I was so sure she'd think I was a loser. She called me brave! She didn't even care!"
"Of course she didn't care, Charlie," he said then changed his tone, "You'll find alot of times the way we think people will percieve us is really a glimpse of how we feel about ourselves. Claire obviously sees good in you, Charlie. And so do I. Can you see it?"
"I'm trying..."
"Use Claires eyes to see, Charlie. You may be interested to find out what others can see that you are blinded to." Charlie wasn't exactly sure what Lockes cryptic message was but he usually found out later. Charlie smiled.
"Thanks, Locke."
"Now, go! She's waiting for you..." Charlie looked back and felt his heart burn. Just looking at her. A short sigh left him as Locke patted him on the back and continued on into the jungle.
"My destiny..." he breathed. 'And oh, how I love her...' he finished silently, feeling the nights darkness slide off of his shoulders. Claire was waiting for him and thats all that he needed. Except for of course, tell her that he needed her, that he loved her. But that was whole 'nother story...
'It is through the power to revolve within this space that talent proves itself. Only thus can we progress'
-Jean Cocteau
Thank you guys for all your helpful reviews! Couldn't have done this without you! This is the end, unforunatly. But fear not! There are always sequels!!!!! Thank you everybody who was read this! I hope I didn't bore you too much! Well, thanks again and until next time, keep your nose on the screens!