Chapter 2: Emotional Breakdown and Needed Comfort

"Okay. Anyone care to tell me what the hell that was about?" Jack said, clearly confused by the outburst from their normally passive comrade.

"I am as perplexed as you, O'Neill. It is clear that Jonas Quinn is very distressed, although I am unsure as to the reason for this." Teal'c offered.

The three remaining team members pondered in silence for a time, trying to figure out what on Earth had just taken place and why. Suddenly, the answer to that unanimous question hit Sam square in the face like a club, and she turned white as a sheet.

"Oh, God."

"Carter? Something wrong?" Jack asked, resting a hand on Sam's back.

"Colonel, this is all my fault. The reason Jonas is so quiet and why he purged himself on alcohol is because of something that I said the other day. I was just trying to fool the Goa'uld but still I shouldn't have said something so hurtful. God, how could I be so stupid and heartless?" Sam whispered shakily, putting her head in her hands.

"I do not believe that this situation is your fault, Major Carter. You should not blame yourself."

"Yeah, Teal'c's right. You're not responsible for this, Carter. I think we should all get a good night's sleep and we'll deal with whatever is bugging Jonas in the morning. Carter, you're going to be bunking in the other guestroom upstairs. Teal'c, you can use my room."

"That will not be necessary, O'Neill. I can perform my Kelnoreem here in the living room and guard your home. Though your offer is much appreciated."

"Okay, if you're sure. Well, I guess I'm going to turn in now. See you all in the morning." Jack said, watching as Teal'c settled into a state of Kelnoreem on the couch and Sam headed up the stairs to the guestroom, and then retired to his own bedroom for the night.

As Sam was walking down the hall to the bedroom where she was going to be staying and on her way she passed by the first guestroom where Jonas was, she heard soft sounds coming from behind the door which struck her as odd because she had thought he was sleeping. Slowing to a halt, Sam gently knocked on the door.

"Yeah. Come in." Jonas called softly, his voice trembling as he spoke. He looked up sadly when Sam opened the door.

"Jonas? Are you okay? I know you're upset. Why don't you talk to me about whatever's bothering you."

"I've been deluding myself for the past three months, that's all. I don't deserve anything that I have right now. Even though I know you didn't mean what you said the other day, it did make me realize the truth. I committed a horrible act of cowardice and it cost you the life of one of your friends, one of your family, and yet you take me into your lives, make me part of your team, grant me refuge on your world, give me a home. Most times I'm really grateful to have all of these things especially knowing how much I don't deserve any of it but there are other times, Sam, when I think I'd be more suited going back to Kelowna and being executed for treason."

"Oh, God, Jonas please don't think like that. You've never been more wrong than with what you just said. You deserve to have a home among us. We care about you, Jonas, and it kills me to see you hurting like this. Another thing you have got to remember is that you aren't a coward." Sam said, her heart breaking as she saw the pain in her friend's eyes.

"I don't understand how you can say that, Sam. The only reason I have a place here on Earth and a position on SG-1 is because Dr. Jackson is dead and he died because I was too afraid to do what I should have done. You should all hate me now, not take me in as your friend." Jonas questioned, a single tear sliding down his cheek, and he turned away from Sam.

As soon as she noticed his lapse of emotional control, Sam sat on the bed next to Jonas and pulled him into a tight hug, hoping that a friendly embrace might bring him some comfort. Sam continued to hold him tightly as Jonas finally gave in to the emotional turmoil that had haunted him for the past several weeks, allowing himself to finally completely break down and cry.

"It's okay. I'm right here with you. I can tell you one thing for a fact. We don't hate you, Jonas. Not at all, and we never will. I can't believe it never occurred to me that you might have been affected by everything that happened after you came here. You haven't even had a chance to properly grieve for the friends that you lost on Kelowna that day. Shh, just let it out. You need a chance to mourn what you've lost as we already have. You're not alone and you shouldn't have to go through this by yourself. Let your friends comfort you, let us be here for you." Sam whispered soothingly, wishing she had noticed the issue sooner before it came to this.

For the longest time, Sam held Jonas against her, rocking him gently as he wept on her shoulder, tears soaking into her t-shirt. She continued to whisper soft comforting words to her friend while she felt him shaking as he cried silently in her arms until he simply had no tears left to shed. At this point, he sat up and looked at her with appreciation.

"I appreciate you being here for me, Sam. I've had that welling up inside of me for a while and I guess it just finally needed to come out."

"It's okay. I'm just glad you feel better. I'll just go now and let you get some sleep."

"Actually, Sam, I was wondering if you could do me one more small favor. Could you stay with me for a little while and keep me company. I just don't want to be alone quite yet." Jonas asked.

"Sure. I'd be glad to. But I'll only stay if you at least try to get some rest." Sam agreed as Jonas nodded tiredly and allowed her to ease him gently against her where his head was resting on her lap.

As Jonas rested in Sam's lap, he let his mind begin to wander a little. He thought about the things Sam had said and the comfort he found in the way his friends were concerned about him. It occurred to him then that he was part of this family now, although Daniel Jackson would always be missed, and that he had found a home for himself despite everything. Within a few moments, Jonas closed his eyes and his breathing became deep and even as he slipped into a sound sleep for the first time since coming to Earth.

Sam snapped out of her own thoughts and looked down to the young Kelownan man sleeping in her lap and smiled a little. His breaths were steady and rhythmic and his expression was calm and peaceful. She reached out and began gently stroking his short hair, smiling again as he sighed deeply and settled further into her lap. After sitting with Jonas for a few more minutes, Sam stood up carefully and placed a pillow underneath his head, then placed the blanket over him. The young man stirred slightly, but he didn't wake.

"Sweet dreams, Jonas. You could use a good night's sleep." Sam whispered, bending to peck a small kiss on Jonas' forehead. Then she tiptoed out of the room and headed to the second guestroom where she prepared for bed and within ten minutes, fell asleep herself.