Desire and Destruction

Disclaimer: I don't own SD boys, Inoue does. The events that follow are not included in the original plot but enjoy anyway.

A/N: Last chapter, it is. Hahahaha. Due to consecutive class suspensions, I was able to find time ending this story. Thanks to the transportation strike.

Last Chapter: In the Name of Happily Ever After

'...And now he just came and everything fell apart. I mean, yeah; he just messed everything up and now I'm like this,' Mitsui breathes in as he ends his tale.

'Like what? Always obsessing?' Miyagi assumes, a little smile is visibly playing on his lips.

'Don't use the word. Heaven help me with this.' Mitsui sighs pathetically and directs his gaze somewhere else to avoid Miyagi's scrutiny.

'Yeah, but like it or not; what you're suffering now is near obsession if not obsession itself. Listen Mitchy, you have to start treating Rukawa like a human being. Abusing him is an escapist's idea of solving the problem; it's not gonna help.' Miyagi says sympathetically.

'I can't. I told you I'm always angry with him for some reason. I want to butcher him sometimes because-'

'Because love can be violent.' Miyagi volunteers; again, a grin is plastered on his face however slightly. 'There's such a thing as a violent attraction and there IS peaceful animosity as well. Things can seem really ironic at times.'

'And illogical. Remember the shit I've gone through with Mari Su? It was...mad.' Mitsui pauses at the recollection. Funny how terrible that infatuation seems to him now. 'But Ryochin, what if I can't treat him with respect? What am I to do? Oh, I'm doomed.'

Mitsui droops his head, his eyes are now lachrymose and his respiration becomes even more restless. Miyagi forces a laugh.

'Well if you can't do that; I guess, you can just ignore him.' Miyagi says as a matter of factly; a stupid smile seems permanently glued on him.

'Ignore him? But Miyagi, I thought you're gonna help me not like Rukawa anymore? I thought...' Mitsui's words trail off and he resumes his languish recline on the chair behind him. Somehow, a realization crashes on him-

'I can't make you hate Rukawa; no one can. It's all up you but believe me, it's gonna be a long and tedious process.' Miyagi answers omnisciently. How honest and yet, the brutality of it is unbearable, even despicable.

'So you're ok with the fact that I'm----?' Mitsui says with puppy eyes; an obvious pain seems to come along with that hard swallow in fact.

'Your identity crisis or sexuality is pretty much nobody's business. What can I do about it, neh?' Miyagi simpers almost sweetly. 'Being confused right now is only wrong from a dim witted slob's standpoint, but since I'm open minded; I guess, there's no moral argument in that.'

'Thanks a bunch.' Mitsui smiles without bitterness for the first time in that pensive hour. 'Hey, you tricked me into telling you, didn't you?'

'Yeah. But I wanted to help you.' Miyagi says.

In the evening.

Mitsui sleeps more comfortably than he did for the last few nights. The sandman blows his dust and a dream falls on him.

He's lying on the gym; exactly in the middle court where centers converge for a jump ball. The silence is shooting out from each corner to vanquish the resistance of the atmosphere; it's almost frightening to witness the place with such tranquility. But he doesn't move an inch from that stillness; instead, he steers his gaze upward to be exposed in the milky iridescence of the stars. 2 thousand giant balls of fire smile upon him; then it dawns on him, where the hell is the gym's roof? Doesn't really matter; anything can be normal in dreams and likewise, anything normal can seem twisted in them. He concentrates on the view; a dark blanket spotted with white dots of lights like pearls...Beautiful. Star gazing has never felt this uplifting. But then,

Somebody's face begins to materialize from the glitches of the stars as they trace a certain pattern of an eerie image. Someone familiar to him; he who always catches his flippant attention, he who's ever the object of his wrath, irritation, and desire, is appearing from the darkness of the skies.

'Kaede?' Mitsui asks calmly.

At the practice

If you can't treat him with the least courtesy, then try to ignore him. Miyagi's words are tingling through Mitsui's auditory nerves. Shouldn't be that hard to deal with, but later he will be subjected to the same unreasonable anger that blows up at the mere sight of Rukawa. If all else fails, there are always the emergency measures; even if they make him look like a clown.

So Mitsui settles not to look at Rukawa. Yeah, desperate times call for desperate actions; and the practice game turns into a masquerade of missed everything. Meaning;

Mitsui, in his effort to avert Rukawa from his vision screen, passes the ball to him with his head turned to the opposite direction. 5 times that he makes an awful pass and unforced turnovers, and every time he does so his eyes are somewhere off the court and its action.

'Look where you're going, dumby! And watch out for your no look passes; they suck!' Akagi reprimands him with all the obstreperous tone of a furious gorilla. If only he knows that it isn't about making impressive plays and all those exhibition passes; it's about Rukawa and avoiding him.

If Mitsui's accidental glances of Rukawa were to be met by the other's equally fiery ones; he will have fainted on the spot or worse, he will have conjured all hell from beneath and started another set of invectives hurling. But as usual, Rukawa is behind a facade of what they call snob mask. Lucky for Mitsui, it is.

The practice ends and no wonder, Mitsui messed up the game; practically no assists and rebounds. The only consolation is his 15 points; though what in the world of fart is 15 points compared to Rukawa's 27? Or shouldn't he be getting over that? Darn, he's getting mad at Rukawa again and right now, red hot fury is burning his face as his blue pupils change their hues into something near the shade of scarlet.

'Cool out, mate.'

It's Miyagi, the ever present controller of his mood. He's snucking another cautionary stare at the senior yet something in it seems to tell Mitsui that he managed himself very well that day. Of course he has; he has never vituperated Rukawa and what's more, minimal glances were exchanged. Mitsui immediately gathers himself up; yeah, it will be just fine. He moves to the locker room with higher spirits.

When he gets there, Rukawa's the 4th person his eyes fall upon. 'Oh,' He mutters quickly and twists his neck to the other side.

'D'you have a stiff neck, Mitchy?'

Sakuragi. It isn't much of an insult or a tease or anything sarcastic; it's probably concern plus curiosity. Even the red head's voice is sprawling with innocence; how unbecoming.

'Uh, why d'you ask?' Mitsui asks shakily His nerves start to quirk, probably out of panic of something. Weird feeling.

'Nothing. Just for the whole time your face---I mean, your head is rotated to this side and that but, err, never looks forward. I don't know. I wonder if-'

'Yeah. Star gazing last night; 'twas great and sky was bright. Kept looking up for a long time and in the morning my neck just sorta ached. Probably because of it;

yeah, star gazing.' Mitsui stutters. Sakuragi snaps his brows in a cynical frown; Mitsui's being incoherent like a gaggling goose.

'Star gazing, huh? Exciting.' Sakuragi marches off, still besmirched with suspicion.

Star gazing, it is; in a dream so to speak. And there was Rukawa in that dream of course or was it a dream? It was more of an incubus. Darn.

After taking a leak and attending to his vainglorious responsibility of facing the mirror, Mitsui packs up; all set to scram to the road. He steps out of the locker room and after gliding 3 steps, he hears a rustle behind him.

It's Rukawa.

Don't be upset. Manipulate your temper. Heighten your degree of flexibility. Remember courtesy. Ignore him. Whatever. Mitsui's mind is reeling with all these banalities. But his physical actions win him over as he faces Rukawa before he stops himself.

'What, Rukawa?' Mitsui feints indifference.

'I'm sorry, sempai.'

'About what?' Mitsui hisses. One little push towards frankness and those words will turn into a curse. But incredibly, his temper is contained.

'I told you to go to hell.'

'Yeah, you should be kissing my ass now.' Mitsui replies crudely and realizing that he's off his screws 'I mean, forget it.'

'I apologize.'

'Yeah, yeah. Apology accepted. Adios.' Mitsui spits peremptorily and scoots off the place. He's not even sure if he's forgiven Rukawa to the depths of his heart.

He strolls slowly down the sidewalk, neither feeling anger nor relief. He muses on Rukawa. Come to think of it, Rukawa's adapting self deprecation and it might be the pivotal point of everything unpleasant between them. But that will mean Mitsui too has to change at that and more importantly, he must practice all that self effacing crap as well. Dammit. Why the fuck does it have to be stuffed with conflicts? This is fucking weak. Mitsui tells himself.

But then isn't conflict the stuff he and Rukawa are made of? They're like politics; what with all the bickering and nagging and the disagreement. Do they need to compromise? Answer is plainly positive as it becomes clear to Mitsui that all he has to do is to comply. For one thing, Rukawa already took the first step even before he apologized. A little earlier in the game, a shift of gameplay is governing Rukawa's game because he no longer kept the ball to himself which is the secondary reason for Mitsui's hatred (the first one's emotional). Yeah, Rukawa gave away opportunities which is a sign of generosity that he, until then, begrudged his team mates.

'Well deserved.' Mitsui mutters.

Next day

'Ryochin, don't jump from your seat; Rukawa apologized to me.' Mitsui whispers to Miyagi. They are currently supine in a couple of chairs looking like school girls with destructive secrets to share.

'What?' Miyagi groans in disbelief. He doesn't jump from his seat yet, his head almost bangs on the snack desk. It's really that shocking after all.

'Yeah, yesterday. And his game is changed too but...he said sorry because he told me to go to hell.'

'I think this is driving for the better. I say keep it up.' Miyagi says heartily, looking sincerely happy for his friend.

'I'm worried.'

'What about?' Miyagi frowns. He doesn't get the point of getting worried after the fascinating impossible just happened; Rukawa and condescension in one picture is a little more than a once in a life time.

'Ryota, if I become nice to him; I might completely fall for him especially if he decides to be nice to me too. Could it be or would it be better to just stay harsh and mean to him? I mean, I don't want that but if I fall totally....' Mitsui falters as his face gets more wan with anxiety.

'Well, it's either he will like you back for a happy ending or you will continue to hate him; but choosing the latter, it should be firm grounded.'

'That there should be reason to hate him? Is that it?' Says the very confused and ill disposed Mitsui.

'Exactly.'

Mitsui decides the latter way. His solution; to invite Rukawa in a one on one match, let himself lose devastatingly, and fly into another fit of anger. He knows that losing in basketball is the least thing he likes and if Rukawa gives him that; there should be ample reason to detest him. The problem of emotions getting along the way is a matter of someday, not at the present. Desperation goes that far indeed.

Next day

Rukawa finds a note in his bag.

Meet me at NW local court at 5:30. One on one.

-Mitsui

Somewhere in the heart of Kanagawa

Mitsui dons himself in his typical practice attire; maroon shirt and white shorts. It's 5:24 and the sun's orange twilight is brimming the space. He sits by the steel bench in NW local court with a leather ball clutched between his legs. He will tap on it at intervals to signify his boredom and to suggest that he's waiting for someone. Once in a while, he will get offers to play from the kids playing there; naturally, he will refuse. This poses another problem; once Rukawa alights to the scene spectators will rush in and no doubt nose around and cheer. Main thing is, Mitsui intends to lose this game and if he does so with so many people around…it will be an absolute shame. Darn. But won't he blame that on Rukawa?

Kids on court stop dribbling the ball. A sound of chain is swinging in. Rukawa arrives on his pink bike. Mitsui stands up to greet him.

'You didn't chicken out after all.' Says Mitsui cheekily.

'…'

The crowd dumps itself along the court to watch the spectacle. Mitsui moves toward them to clean the vicinity,

'Hi. I'm a friend of Tetsuo's; the professional combat fighter who cracks heads like yours. He'll be coming by in a few minutes and if you don't sweep out, then be his guest.' Mitsui sibilates with a grin. The name of Tetsuo the gangster instantly conjures panic as the supposed audience slip away from the local court. Quietude ensues once more.

Now it's up to Mitsui and Rukawa to put up with this. Alone by themselves; too seldom does this incident happen.

Rukawa stares at Mitsui, seeming like ransacking the senior's soul for answers. What exactly is this all about?

But Mitsui chides in 'Game? Let's go.' He douses to Rukawa the ball, 'Your turn.' Shouldn't it be starting off with a toss coin? But what the hell.

Rukawa dribbles the ball. Mitsui stands by without assuming a sticky defensive stance; for the record, he does run after the freshman but slowly and without difficulty. Rukawa halts and looks at the senior. Mitsui smiles, 'Try me.' and stretches out his arm for a steal. All is done too loosely; this child's play for Rukawa. Mitsui's no match. Rukawa eschews the sly attempt to disarm him of the ball and slides his way to the rim for a slam. Ball drops. Score is 1-0 in favor of Rukawa.

'First possession luck,' Mitsui brags. It's all going the way he plans it but…he's not yet feeling any hint of anger. 'Uhmmm, my ball. And have I told you? This is race to 3.'

Mitsui skips to the right and transfers the ball to his left; too heedless, he slides it down his hand to be caught by Rukawa. What a blatant display of farce; it isn't Mitsui's common mistake to let the ball disappear from his clutches, even if he's that hacked.

The turnover results to another Kitsune point; 2-0.

'Darn! Uh, my ball again.' Mitsui croaks, faking distress about the miss.

He grabs the ball and, with all his speed that can't equal that of Rukawa, storms forward the bucket and leaps a too-early, prone distance for the point. He knows that Rukawa's in perfect position to block him and inevitably, Mitsui receives a fly swatter.

A block is the worst humiliation in a game. If one player's shot is blocked; it's is not he alone who gets the embarrassment, his team mates will have to impart with it.

'Damn!' Mitsui shouts. Is he feeling genuine animosity towards Rukawa now?

Rukawa runs for the ball and pads up for the final dunk. 3-0; game's over.

'You won. Great.' Mitsui says sarcastically; right now, he's feeling…

'No.' Rukawa chimes in an instant. 'I want a rematch.'

'Oh yeah, but you won.' Mitsui argues.

'You didn't try.' Rukawa mumbles disappointedly; his most expressive thought for the day. He can've said that all is a sham and that Mitsui's one big pathetic harlequin who deliberately gets himself pummeled in a dintless match. How stupid.

Mitsui squints at him. Rukawa knows it; about the scripted play and schemed tactics and all. It must have been too obvious given that Rukawa, the ever so know-nothing-notice-nothing Ice King, realizes it all; but there's always the resort to denial to cover it up. Oh well,

'Hell, I fucking did—'

'HISASHI! CHRIST, THERE YOU ARE! WE'VE BEEN LOOKING ALL OVER KANAGAWA FOR YOU!' A familiar, collective voice that belongs to neither of the 2 calls Mitsui.

Mitsui turns around and snipes a glance at the wired fence. He is greeted by 5 faces that he used to know dearly for years past. His childhood friends came to visit him, at long last. These 5 people, slightly altered in physical maturity, are terribly missed by Mitsui. He wonders if they're all hooked now; back then, they were big time playboys ranging from 5'0 feet to 5'3.

'Hey, come over here.' Mistui calls excitedly as the 5 swarm in.

Every bit of them jumps in delight. Questions are piled instantly at the very glad Mitsui;

'Hisashi, you've grown taller! And look, you're still Pretty Boy! Hahahaha. No longer single, I hope?'

'You didn't call me last Christmas. I was gonna tell you about my girlfriend.'

'Hisashi, how many girls have you had since Mari Su? Man, you did whore your self to that slut. Hahahaha. '

All Mitsui can answer is. 'No. No figures, really.'

And questions will fire away again;

'You mean with such good looks, you haven't netted any?'

'I don't believe you, how come?'

'Come on, I'll find you a cute girl. You deserve it for being chaste and clean.'

Then Mitsui will hesitate and, 'No thanks, I'm happy.'

'Alright. But hey, come and let's dine somewhere in the malls. But first, we want to hear everything about you, Hisashi.'

'Well, there's not much about me for the past 5 years. You see, I haven't had a girlfriend and err,-' Mitsui gives it a start only to be responded by incurious frowns from the energetic friends.

'Don't be pathetic, Hisashi, you haven't been in love all this time?'

That ever so annoying, apocalyptic query of social status. Everybody's eyes are bulging out of their sockets like a dual shock just electrified them. Mitsui's doomed in a tight tangle if he answers that now. Why the fuck do they have to fuck things up so pretty badly? I'm in pit bog right now with no girlfriend ever since and ever after, why can't they see it for goodness' sake? Mitsui thinks irritably.

'I don't know; maybe I am now.' Mitsui splutters.

'What do you mean, 'I don't know'? There are plenty of girls to swive here in Kanagawa; we already passed by a lot of qualified chicks. How come you're out of selection?'

'Well, confused. I guess.' Mitsui struggles for an excuse. 'Confused' is a part of it but there's too much behind that too.

'Errr, I understand. We understand. But come, let's eat in Burger King downtown; my stomach's rambling. And after that, you can narrate the gap of 5 years.'

'Errr, guys. I still have business here. You see, Rukawa and I-' Mitsui begins.

'Who's Rukawa?'

Rukawa stands there like a forlorn statue. He has been there long enough and nobody ever bothers to acknowledge his presence until now. Mitsui's friends look at the freshman and learn that he's the owner of the name. Somehow, Mitsui is feeling that it's now his turn to apologize to Rukawa for the trouble. But something out of this world transpires to him; Rukawa IS his love. No matter how the world is quaked and what people say and condemn on him, Rukawa will always be his love. Sometimes, it takes a hell of a lot to respect it or even admit it; but to keep it and deny it to oneself is arrant degradation.

And now, these people are asking him if he's ever been in love. And they are with intention to make fun of him like the old days. Well of course; the answer is right before their eyes. He will tell them; come what fucking may.

'Well, he? He's the one I'm gonna spend my life with.' Mitsui answers flatly without a trace of being abashed but even proud of it. He pulled it up! He's free!

His friends freeze on the spot. Jaws are probably dropping and hairs are graying in the quickest span of time. Rukawa blinks. Mitsui grins stupidly even as he did when he used to follow his first crush in the school's cafeteria. It takes moments before the insanity sinks in until,

'Hisashi, are you sure about this?' One of Mitsui's friends breaks in. 'I mean, does he ever feel the same?'

Obviously, it is a little bit too hard for Mitsui's friends to believe or even concede to their friend's crookedness. Much more, what's the chance of someone like Rukawa, who's almost as equally handsome as Mitsui, to be gay also? This gets Mitsui enmeshed in a network of bafflement; he hasn't even told Rukawa! That's his one great, tormenting mistake. Of course, there's no way Rukawa could've known it and knowing Rukawa…he might disdain Mitsui forever or worse, deny him.

But…

'Yes. I feel the same, sempai.' This time Rukawa looks straight at Mitsui.

No further questions are asked that day and their meal is silently conveyed in Burger King down town.

Will Rukawa and Mitsui live happily ever after?

Surely.

But of course, a petty quarrel once in a while will cap it all.

(Epilogue)

'Rukawa, pass me the ball.'

No pass.

'Damn, Rukawa! Come on, give it to me!'

Hmmmph.

'Oh fuck it, man. Make a pass, you're in a mess.'

'…'

'Oooops. I forgot.' Mitsui smiles. 'Kae-chan, pass the ball to me.'

Swoosh.

'Thanks.'

END

A/N: Thanks for reading. Especially to my reviewers, Mistress KC, Kaara, Mifune, Hagane, Dream Kingdom and of course, Castor and Pollux; my partner in crime.

I was sort of sick while writing this and it was only because of the class suspension that I had the time. So thanks to CHED too. Hehehehe.