-No matter how you push me away
-I've known right from the start
-That you're the only one for me
-The Sovereign of my Heart
Anon
Chapter 3: Move Closer
Minerva slept badly that night, her dreams were haunted with Lucius's sly face, twisted grin and evil eyes. She jumped awake shaking and drenched in a cold sweat.
"Some Gryffindor I am!" Minerva muttered harshly, grabbing her nightgown off the chair. Knowing she wouldn't get anymore sleep this evening, Minerva opened the door deciding a walk was what she needed to clear her head.
Walking down the corridors Minerva found herself unusually jumpy and her mind wandered away from her on a whim. Her confusion was definately growing, Why had Lucius come on to her just like that? And why had it frightened her so much? Sighing she sat down on the stone staircase, "What's wrong with Me!" she yelled, sending echoes around the empty hall. Minerva sat there in silence her head in her hands, a major headache brewing.
"Why hello there Minerva" came a voice from behind her. Minerva jumped and looked around "Hello there Headmaster, thank you SO much for scaring me half to death" she shot sarcastically, with a sour tone in her voice.
Dumbledore smiled "Any time!" he replied. Minerva sighed exasperatedly "You know your as bad as Remus", again Dumbledore just smiled but looked at her with concern.
"Is something troubling you?" Dumbledore asked, Minerva shook her head uncertainley "No... Why Albus?" she inquired, feeling uneasy. The Headmaster just shrugged
"It's nothing really... just the last time you did any midnight wandering was during the Tri-Wizard cup."
Minerva looked at him startled 'How the hell does he know about that!!' she thought. Dumbledore studided her a moment, and then she answered him "Honestly Albus, I just couldn't sleep... That's all."
The Headmaster gave her that piercing look he did so well and accepted her answer in silence, he knew she was lying but if she didn't want to talk, he wouldn't pry.
"Of course Minerva... Now if you'll excuse me" and he walked away leaving her alone with her thoughts.
Her head somewhat clearer Minerva walked back to her room, but in the back of her mind unease was growing. This was the first problem she hadn't really shared with the Headmaster, he had always been like a father to her, especially when she had been younger and coming to grips with who and what she was. Minerva found herself lost in a train of painful memories, but she stopped herself before she managed to get to deep. Sighing she entered her room and locked her door and her mind against the terrors of the outside world.
The later that morning Remus awoke to a knocking at her door, "Wha.... Just five more minutes" he yelled blearily, pulling the pillow over his head in an attempt to block out the sound. This was answered with another bang on the door, much louder than the first. Muttering mutinously Remus hauled hmself out of bed, stumbled over to the door and flung it open "What!!!" he yelled in annoyance. It was at that moment he realised who was at his door and more importantly, what he was wearing.
"Oh... Er.. Hi Remus, I.. was er.. just coming to see if you were up" said Minerva looking away quickly "...By the way nice boxers" her voice was full of wry humour. Remus blushed the deepest shade of red imaginable and quickly hid behind the door.
"Er.. Minerva" he squeaked "Er.. Give me five minutes and I'll be right with you" and he closed the door over and began a frantic search for some clean robes. Outside the door Minerva was halfway between laughter and exasperation, she gave a tap on the door and called "Remus are you decent!"
A muffled "nearly" was the reply, 'Close enough' she thought and pushed open the door. "Minerva!!!" Remus cried embarrassedly, as he stumbled over something and fell backwards with a crash onto the floor. He had managed to pull on his pants, but his shirt was still half open and flapping wildly.
The other Professor laughed "God Remus, It's a wonder you can find anything in here" and she emphasised her point by nudging her foot through a pile of dirty clothes and books. Remus if possible went even redder "I thought I said give me five minutes" he muttered quietly.
Minerva smiled smugly " I'm impatient... You should know that" she shot back, sounding better than the previous day.
By now Remus had sorted out his etire and was ready to go "So Minerva, what did you want?" he asked quite gruffly, his voice still hadn't quite woken up completely. "Oh nothing really" she replied airly "Just to see if you were up and ready to help."
Remus goggled at her a moment "But it's 8:30 ....in the morning.... I was hoping for a lie in" he protested. Minerva's eyes narrowed "I know... and I have double what I had yesterday thanks to your persuasion" she retorted.
Remus threw his hands up "Oh come on then.... Lets get this started" he moaned " The sooner we start the sooner we finish." And the pair left for the staff room.
Hours later Remus was on the verge of mental collapse. "This is IMPOSSIBLE" he groaned, slamming down a stack of papers "I do not know how you do it Minerva." Minerva looked up at her co-worker with amusement "Do what?" she asked, fighting down a mad urge to laugh at his frustration.
"All this work!! It's like trying to trudge through a swamp!!" Remus cried, running a hand through his already mussed hair. This time Minerva did laugh "Oh I manage" she chortled, the other Professor groaned and let his head drop to the table with a Bang! One of his recently acquired and rather painful habits. Minerva laughed even louder "Well at least were making some HEAD-way" she joked.
Remus looked up at her, the nagging question from several weeks ago burning across his brain, 'Oh why the hell not!' he thought.
"Er.. Minerva" he ventured, plucking up his courage "Can I ask you something?" Minerva looked up at him caught off guard "Sure... Er what exactly?" she asked, not sure agreeing to this would be a good idea.
Remus looked at little nervous "Well you have to promise to tell the truth, because I can tell when people lie" he said, staring her straight in the eyes.
Minerva shrugged "Okay but make it quick" she snapped, quickly getting tired of Remus's little game.
Professor Lupin started his question "Erm.. I know this is going to REALLY stupid, but do you remember when you were giving me that lecture on what damsels were..."
Minerva nodded to show she did and Remus continued "Er.. Well even I could tell you didn't say everything you wanted to..... and I just wondered what else you were going to say?"
Minerva paled and mentally cursed just about everything on the planet for promising to answer truthfully. She remained silent and Remus sighed "So what was it?.... Come on I'm not going to laugh" his voice was open and honest.
But Minerva believed that what she had thought was so ridiculous, it would be a wonder he wouldn't laugh at her. "Come on" he asked again softly.
Minerva felt her cheeks twinge pink with embarrassment, "I...I was going to say there beautiful" she muttered. Remus sat there completely stunned, of all the possible answers he had concocted in his mind, that one hadn't even crossed it, he pondered this a moment and came up with a blank.
"Whatever gave you that impression?" he asked still stunned. "Huh.... What impression?" replied Minerva, who was looking very embarrassed.
"That your not beautiful" Remus retorted, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. Minerva shrugged "I don't really know.. I guess I've never really considered myself like that and it's not as if anyone else has looked at me like that.." she looked down realising what she had blurted out.
Remus's mouth dropped open for the numerous time that evening, "I don't believe that for one minute" he said. Minerva looked at him suspiciously "And why don't you believe that, face it Remus i'm not some wonderfully beautiful woman. I don't exactly have men chasing after me do I?" she snapped angrily.
Remus looked hard at her and cocked his eyebrow "You know Minerva you really talk crap sometimes..... because you are beautiful.." He stopped suddenly and blushed, that hadn't been exactly what he had meant to say.
Minerva looked up her face flushed and her eyes wide "Er... If..if you'll excuse me Remus.. I..I think I can finish on my own" she said picking up her stack of work and making hasty tracks out the staff room. Remus sat there feeling incredibly stupid "Ah MAN!!" he groaned, banging his head on the table "Now I've gone and done it."
It was odd though, although he had said it at first just to prove a point, Remus now realised that what he had said was completely and utterly true. Remus sat there a moment and tried to gather his thoughts, why had he said it? He didn't really know, but Remus had felt for once completely honest with himself and with his feelings.