Lana walked cautiously into the barn.
It was dark. Well, figures, it was late.
She set her stuff down and walked over to the stable to check on Tyson.
"Hey, there big guy." She greeted him softly as she stroked his neck. "How are you?"
Something touched her shoulder and she stifled a yelp.
She turned around.
"Oh, Clark. It's only you."
"Only me?" He teased. "Were you expecting someone else?"
Lana shook her head and smiled. "No. No, I just didn't expect you to be here." She looked at him quizzically. "Why are you here?"
Clark shrugged. "I knew you'd be."
Lana smiled. "And how did you know that Clark?"
Clark shrugged again. "I…I guess I followed you." He smiled sheepishly and Lana laughed.
Lana leaned against the stable and slid to the floor, sitting down. Clark did the same.
"So, why are you here?" Clark asked Lana. "I mean, it's late on a Friday night. Shouldn't you be out, having a good time with you're friends?"
Lana looked at him.
"You're here. That beats any night out with any of my friends."
Clarke smiled at her.
Lana shivered.
"Are you cold?" Clark asked her in concern.
Lana cocked her head. "Little bit."
Clark took off his coat, eager to make the girl next to him warm.
"Thank you." She said softly as he wrapped the coat around her.
"No problem. Better?"
Lana nodded. "Much."
The two sat in silence for a few moments, before Clark broke it.
He cleared his throat. "Lana, what's the real reason you're here? You couldn't have known that I was going to follow you if you came here. What's the reason?"
Lana sighed as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.
"Um…I don't know, honestly. I just needed time to think."
"Think about what?" Clark asked quietly, pushing the remaining hair out of her face.
"I don't know. About a lot of things, I guess. About living with Chloe. About Nell. About work." Lana paused. "About us."
Lana blushed slightly.
Clark smiled.
"What's there to think about? About us, anyway?"
Lana shrugged. "Clark. There's been plenty of…for lack of a better word, confusion between us. I mean, our history together is not really stable."
Clark's smile faded. "Lana, what are you getting at?"
Lana sighed. "I love you, Clark. I think you knew that. I've always loved you, and as hard as I try, I don't think I'm ever going to stop. But…do you know how hard it is, Clark, to love someone who doesn't love you back?"
Lana looked to Clark, tears forming in her eyes.
"Of course not." She whispered. "I've got to go."
Lana stood up, brushing imaginary dust off of her pants.
As she was about to leave, she felt someone grab her arm. She spun around.
"Don't leave, Lana." Clark told her, looking deep into her eyes. "I do. I love you, Lana. I know, it's hard to believe with the way I've been treating you. Making lame excuses when I have to leave. Not being able to tell you my secrets. Seeing you in so much pain. Pain I know I've caused you. Lana, it hurts me so much to see you hurting. That's why I can't commit to you. I love you more than you'll ever know, and I can't ever prove it to you because I'll hurt you too much."
Lana looked fiercely into his eyes. "Clark, none of that stuff matters to me. I don't care that you have secrets." Lana's voice became softer, almost to a whisper. "I just want to be with you."
Clark grimaced, knowing he was, once again, the cause of Lana's pain.
"Lana, I'm doing it again. I'm hurting you. I can't keep doing this to you! It's not fair." Clark's voice was raised with aggravation. "I hate hurting you."
"Then don't." Lana said harshly.
Lana sighed and took Clark's hand in hers.
"Clark, I'm not asking for much. Just to be with you. That's all I want. I can handle the risks. I want to be with you."
"I don't."
Lana looked at Clark with an expression of confusion, letting his hand fall free from her hold.
"I don't understand. You told me you loved me and now you're saying you don't want to be with me?" Tears were falling freely down Lana's face and Clark reflexively reached out to wipe them away. Lana pulled back.
"Lana. It's more complicated than that. I couldn't bare to see you get hurt and if you're with me than that's all that you're going to get from this relationship. It's not worth the risk."
"I'm not worth it is what you're saying, only with a nicer word choice, right?" Lana asked, her voice cracking with emotion.
"That's not true and you know it." Clark protested. "I can't keep doing this to you, though Lana. It's not fair. But you have to know I do love you."
Lana smiled slightly. "Just not enough."
Lana picked up her stuff without a final glance toward Clark.
Clark watched her go, knowing it would be useless to try to stop her now. He watched the one person he loved more than anything in the world walk right out of the barn. Out of his life, and he knew things between them would never be the same again. He really screwed things up this time and there was no turning back.