Disclaimer: I don't own any of the orginial Harry Potter character because I am not that creative...but I wish i was...I only own the plot and my characters.

Counting Things and Eating Their Insides

Draco woke up the next morning feeling anxious and very agaitated so he once again cleared his mind and tried to think of something that would help him get in touch with Hermione. He couldn't help but wonder what had happened as to why he couldn't reach her or any of the others last night. At that moment he was reminded of a poem he had read a while back from a book of muggle poetry in his mother's private collection in her room. He remembered being confused by the poem's words and the fact that the author was listed as unknown...

Broken Dreams

As children bring their broken toys

With tears for us to mend

I brought my broken dreams to you

Because you are my friend

But then instead of leaving you

In peace to work alone,

I hung around and tried to help

In ways that were my own.

Then snatched them back again and cried

"How can you be so slow?"

"But my dear," you replied

"What could I do, you never did let go."

(a/n...this is an actual poem that I came across a couple of years ago and the author was listed as unknown but I had to share it with you all)

After all this time, he at last understood the poem. For anyone to help him with his problems he had to not only ask for help but let go of his fears and open himself up to other solutions from those whose help he sought. If he could only reach her to let her know that he truly needed her help and would accept it no matter how impossible it seemed. He only knew that he couldn't do this alone and if it meant turning over his fate to Potter and his clan so he didn't have to be alone anymore then he would gladly. As the pleas for her were running through his mind and he was beginning to lose all hope, he felt a familiar pull and her face came into focus. His heart leapt into his throat as he realized she was there for him and hadn't turned away from him.

Hermione, can you hear me?

Is that you Draco?

Yes, I can't say much but I tried to find you last night and was so worried that you left me when I couldn't find that I had to try again, one last time...thank you for letting me again. I need you now more than ever and I'll do whatever you want me to, I promise.

I'm so sorry you couldn't find me but I was in a strange place last night and I had to work out some problems that I'd been ignoring or I would have been there I swear.

It doesn't matter now...just know that my father is allowing me to return to Hogwarts today and we'll talk more then...oh and as always I love you.

What????

I have to go now but I'll explain more when I get there..love you, miss you.

But....

With that Draco shut off the connection and proceeded to get ready to go back to school. He was ever so hopeful that no one had caught that as it would put everything in jeopardy but he couldn't help himself. He had to know she was still his or else none of this would be worth it. But no matter...she was still his and now there was still so much to do and only a month to get it all in order.

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Draco finally arrived in Hogsmeade after his father had arranged for a special transport by portkey for him and notified Dumbledore of his early return. He decided to drop by the candy store and pick up a few items before heading back to the castle but as he looked around he found his thoughts were too preoccupied with the impending plans to actually make any selections. Ultimately, he just chose some chocolate frogs and some of the other usuals and headed to the castle. He was anxious to see Hermione anyway and didn't want to waste anymore time as there was alot to explain and plan for with not much time to spare.

Hermione, meanwhile, was in the Head's Common Room catching everyone up on what had happened to her, how she solved the riddle and about Draco's quick message to her. They were all glued to her story until it was time for Ginny to speak. The calming potion had helped Ginny to sleep for a bit and when she woke up, Hermione had talked to her about the prospect of doing a memory charm to make the images go away but Ginny refused because she felt like she owed it to Draco not to take the easy way out. Therefore, she now also felt obligated to tell the others what she had seen so they might find the same sort of higher understanding. She brought Hermione up to speed on why she was even trying to contact Draco and the fact that she had chosen a song which now seemed to have been a unfair characterization on her part. Once she got to the reenactment of the visions and memories, everyone felt sick and ashamed. How could he have lived with those memories all these years and not have told anyone...not even Hermione.

"He told me some things but not everything. He probably didn't want anyone to feel sorry for him. Male pride and all." Hermione replied.

"Should we tell him that Ginny saw these things?" Cheyan asked.

"Let me talk to him when he gets here and I'll let you all know if we should or not." she stated almost in a pleading manner.

Then Hermione jumped in to explain about her dream like prison within her mind but was still having some trouble with the way things had happened because if it was her own mind that had imprisoned her, why couldn't she control what had happened or have any inkling of an idea of where she was at first? The others were also confused by this because each had had their own demons to deal with and yet none of them had ever had their mind take over like that before. Harry was the only one to privately believe that someone else was also behind it even if it was for the best. Voldemort wanting to get access to Hermione through mind evasion left everything up in the air as to who and why she had lost control. He made a mental note to talk to the others about what to do about Hermione later as he knew Hermione would never willingly betray them but sometimes you can be a detrament to a cause without even knowing how or why.

Hermione did however feel very confident that she excised her demons and come to the conclusion that her mind needed for her to be able to regain her senses and as she now knew, wake up. But she did have to admit that she thought someone had set things in motion but she believed it was someone more like Dumbledore who always had a knack for knowing when someone needed help with personal issues. She resigned herself to talking to Draco before making any rash decisions as to what else may be going on. Lunch was fast approaching and after the events of the last couple of days, everyone was famished and opted to go to the Great Hall for lunch just as the portrait hole opened and a familiar face appeared the last person in the world that the group thought they would see.....

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"I need you all to come with me now." scoffed Professor Snape in a cold and detached way.

"Is there something wrong Professor?" asked Hermione with a dread snaking its way into her voice.

"Don't ask questions, just follow me now, Granger." he replied icily.

All of their minds were racing at lightning speed with all the possiblilites as to what Snape would want and none of them were very appealing. But all of the options had included two common denominators, Voldemort and Malfoy, and made the entire group extremely nervous. They were all practically running to keep up with Snape as they headed for Dumbledore's office and thankfully away from the Hospital Wing which was their first thought and fear. The knowledge of where they were headed at least gave Hermione a small amount of relief as she knew Draco was to be arriving soon and originally feared the worst.

As they reached the stone gargoyle, Snape uttered "candied apples" and the entrance to the stairs appeared that lead to the Headmaster's office. One by one they ascended the stairs with Snape in tow. Dumbledore was sitting motionless behind his desk with a blank expression that reminded Harry and Ron of the various times that they had been to see him after getting in trouble. Once they were all seated with great anticipation written all over each face, Dumbledore began to fill them in on what they were doing there.

Hermione was the only one to catch site of a figure moving in the shadows of the office and came to the conclusion that it was Draco from the faint murmurings of a song in the farthest recesses of her mind....

I got no regret right now (I'm feeling this)
the air is so cold and low (I'm feeling this)
let me go in her room (I'm feeling this)
I wanna take off her clothes (I'm feeling this)
show me the way to bed (I'm feeling this)
show me the way you move (I'm feeling this)
fuck it, it's such a blur (I'm feeling this)
I love all the things you do (I'm feeling this)

Fate fell short this time
your smile fades in the summer
place your hand in mine
I'll leave when I wanna

Where do we go from here
turn all the lights down now
smiling from ear to ear (I'm feeling this)
our breathing has got too loud (I'm feeling this)
show me the bedroom floor (I'm feeling this)
show me the bathroom mirror (I'm feeling this)
were taking this way too slow (I'm feeling this)
take me away from here (I'm feeling this)

Fate fell short this time
your smile fades in the summer
place your hand in mine
I'll leave when I wanna

(Fate fell short this time
your smile fades in the summer
place your hand in mine
I'll leave when I wanna)

This place was never the same again after you came and went
how can you say you meant anything different
to anyone standing alone on the street
with a cigarette on the first night we met
look to the past and remember her smile
and maybe tonight I can breathe for awhile
I'm not in this scene I think I'm falling asleep
but then all that it needs is I'll always be dreaming of you

Fate fell short this time
your smile fades in the summer
place your hand in mine
I'll leave when I wanna

Fate fell short this time (fate fell short this time)
your smile fades in the summer (your smile fades in the summer)
place your hand in mine (place your hand in mine)
I'll leave when I wanna (I'll leave when I wanna)

Fate fell short this time (fate fell short this time)
your smile fades in the summer (your smile fades in the summer) (so lost and disillusioned)
place your hand in mine (place your hand in mine)
I'll leave when I wanna (I'll leave when I wanna) (so lost and disillusioned)

Fate fell short this time (fate fell short this time) (are we alone, do you feel it)
your smile fades in the summer (your smile fades in the summer) (so lost and disillusioned)
place your hand in mine (place your hand in mine) (are we alone, do you feel it)
I'll leave when I wanna (I'll leave when I wanna) (so lost and disillusioned)

Fate fell short this time (are we alone, do you feel it)
your smile fades in the summer (so lost and disillusioned)
place your hand in mine (are we alone, do you feel it)
I'll leave when I wanna (so lost and disillusioned)

She was trying her hardest to concentrate on what Dumbledore was saying but the song was distracting her more than she wanted a certain person to know. He was doing it on purpose, just teasing her but she was so happy that he was alright that she really couldn't care less what kinds of torture he chose. He would be with her alone soon and that was all that mattered until she caught the next sentence by Dumbledore and everything's breath caught in their throats for a hint of a second. At this point, Draco walked out of the shadows and into the room where everyone could see him. Dumbledore was just beginning to explain what Draco had already told him. When he had arrived at the castle he went straight to Dumbledore and advise him on Voldemort's plan and the time constraints involved. That then prompted Dumbledore to gather the others together to begin work on devising the proper plan of action as soon as possible.

"A month???" Harry interrupted.

"Yes, Harry, that's all the more time we have to save them both and possibly confront Voldemort and end the threat once and for all to the wizarding community. I have already taken measures to gather the Order members together for their portion of the arrangements but everything rests on the shoulders of Hermione and Draco to lure Voldemort here to an impending trap. When Mr. Malfoy first came to me, I was wanting to keep this away from the school but I don't see how that's possible now considering his change in direction. The only way to ensure the safety of our new couple to keep them as close to the school as possible." Dumbledore explained.

"But won't it put everyone else in harm's way?" Ron asked.

"That's what the Order will be working on. The protection of the students and maybe even some sort of gathering that would put most of them off school grounds except for those needed in the plan." he said.

"But won't that raise questions of a trap to you know who?" Ginny asked

"Not if Mr. Malfoy can convince them that it is a rare opportunity for them to gain access to you all." Snape replied for the first time since arriving at the office.

"If there is no other questions then you are all excused." Dumbledore stated and the group got up and left with each swimming in questions not about the plan but of their worthiness to see it through. Maybe they had all just gotten more then they bargained for and doubt began to eat away and each of them individually. Harry and Draco were the only ones confident that they had just been handed a gift, a weakness by the Dark Lord. It was his ego that would be his downfall and he didn't even know it yet....or so they believed.

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Hermione and Draco were the last ones to leave the office as Draco was planning on kidnapping her to a vacant classroom for a little alone time to catch up. Yes, it had only three days but it seemed like forever but maybe it was just because of everything that had happened that he really needed some assurances from her. He needed her love to convince him that he was ok and would be ok after all this was done. She was right beside him, holding his hand as he slowed his pace so that everyone began to grow farther and farther away from them. Hermione was so focused on all the information they'd been given tonight, that she hadn't even noticed the distance between them and the rest of her friends until Draco pulled her aside and attacked her lips with the force of a jedi warrior in a Star Wars movie she once saw. She was about to pull away and chastise him for dragging her away without warning when she realized how much she did in fact miss him and those soft lips of his. Memories flooded over her of their last night together and time and space stopped while them made up for lost time and momentarily forgot all their worries and the impending doom that could befall them and everyone they cared for.

"I see you missed me as much as I have missed you." Draco panted after finally breaking their kiss for some much needed air.

"Yes, and I have so much that I need to tell you. I felt so lost and alone while you were gone. I began to question my feelings and it scared me so bad that I began to wonder if this was real or just a trick." she replied shamefully.

"Never question my feelings for you. I may have done something that I didn't want to but it was for a good reason. The only reason good enough to risk a life for." he stated.

"I know but so much in such a short time leaves room for doubt. But as they say....absence makes the heart grow fonder." she smiled.

"We do need to talk about something though." Draco said shyly.

"What would that be?" Hermione pressed not used to seeing him look so vulnerable.

"While I was gone and trying to reach you, I saw and heard some things that bothered me." he said.

"I told you, I was beginning to question myself but I worked through that and I know now all I need to. No doubt, No worries." she followed.

"But after all we've been through, after everything I told you, how could you doubt me?" he asked honestly.

"I guess I was just concerned that it was all a deception. I was so used to you being there to reinforce your feelings that the first time you weren't I made a mistake. I am so sorry and I swear it won't happen again." she confessed.

"And how can you be so sure. Honestly, Hermione, I never figured you of all people would be so high maintance. Do I have to tell you every couple of seconds that I love you so you can feel secure?" he seethed. He hadn't wanted the conversation to go like this but she had betrayed him, doubted him. How could she claim to love him and then forget what they had within a day of being apart? Maybe this was a mistake, maybe this wasn't real after all. Maybe this wasn't worth the risk. Could he have counted on someone who would fail him in the end and even if she would fail him, would he change a thing. Would he not love her anymore?

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Draco didn't wait for her to respond, he only turned and left with the sounds of her calling to him in the background. After all that had happened maybe he now needed some time alone to reflect on what he felt. A wide array of emotions were billowing through him at that moment, everything from betrayal, anger, hurt, frustration and oddly enough loneliness. He had wanted a pleasant homecoming filled with hugs and kisses, not arguements and hurt feelings. Part of him wanted to run back to her and tell her everything was going to be alright but part of him wanted to lock himself away in his room and throw a big pity party because she turned her back on him. But had she really, I mean she apologized and said that she was sure this was the right thing. But one thought kept nagging at him, for how long would she feel this way?

When he arrived back at the Common Room, he decided to play some music to take his mind off things and see where his heart and mind would take him. Emotions had always been a mystery to him, he had never had unconditional love before and obviously still didn't by the feel of the events of the last hour. Merlin, hormones suck, love sucks....I hate this. Then he heard it. A song that made him understand that for all he felt and all he hated that there was only one truth that really mattered. So for a few precious minutes in revelled in the reality that when all was said and done, nothing ever really changed this one thing, the only thing worth fighting for. This song was his anthem and the rest would work itself out.....

Until the day I die
I'll spill my heart for you, for you
Until the day I die
I'll spill my heart for you

As years go by
I race the clock with you
But if you died right now
You know that I'd die to
I'd die too

You remind me of the times
When I knew who I was (I was)
But still the second hand will catch us
Like it always does

We'll make the same mistakes
I'll take the fall for you
I hope you need this now
Cause I know I still do

Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you
Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you

Should I bite my tongue?
Until blood soaks my shirt
We'll never fall apart
Tell me why this hurts so much

My hands are at your throat
And I think I hate you
But still we'll say, "remember when"
Just like we always do
Just like we always do

Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you
Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you

Yeah I'd spill my heart!!!
Yeah I'd spill my heart for you!!!

My hands are at your throat
And I think I hate you
We made the same mistakes
Mistakes like friends do

My hands are at your throat
And I think I hate you
We made the same mistakes
Made the same mistakes

Until the day I die
I'll spill my heart for you, for you

Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you, for you
Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you
Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
Until the day I die!!!

As years go by
I race the clock with you
But if you died right now
You know that I'd die to
I'd die too

You remind me of the times
When I knew who I was (I was)
But still the second hand will catch us
Like it always does

Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you
Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you

Should I bite my tongue?
Until blood soaks my shirt
We'll never fall apart
Tell me why this hurts so much

My hands are at your throat
And I think I hate you
But still we'll say, "remember when"
Just like we always do

Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you
Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you

Yeah I'd spill my heart!!!
Yeah I'd spill my heart for you!!!

My hands are at your throat
And I think I hate you
We made the same mistakes
Mistakes like friends do

My hands are at your throat
And I think I hate you
We made the same mistakes

Do you need this as bad as I do? (Until the day I die)
And do you need this as bad as I do? (Until the day I die)
Yeah do you need this as bad as I do? (Until the day I die)
Yeah do you need this as bad as I do, as I do? (Until the day I die)

Unbeknownest to Draco, Hermione was standing in the doorway of the Common Room watching him and listening to the same song and coming to a slightly different conclusion.

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Harry and the rest of the group was in the Great Hall eating their lunch while bouncing ideas off each other as to what they could do to get ready for the battle that was coming. Everyone noticed the absence of the couple but no one said anything just figuring that they had some catching up to do. Ginny was the only one worried that the events of the previous evening might be causing some trouble for the two as Draco didn't like people knowing of his personal difficulities because it would be a sign of weakness like Hermione had said. She hadn't meant to see those things but she wasn't sorry she had either. After what she heard and saw, she would never like at him the same and that was a good thing. He was human to her now. Not just some evil little jerk who was spoiled and therefore, in her mind, could be bribed to sell the others out. He hated the Dark side for what it had stolen from him and threatened to steal again.

"Is there something wrong, Ginny?" Ron asked.

"Not really, I was just thinking about Draco and what I had seen." she replied ashamed. Guilt had been plaguing her heart ever since last night because of the unwarranted hate she had displayed all these years. Her mother had always prided herself on having taught her children to judge people from their actions and not their reactions but in hind sight Malfoy had never really done anything to her. He was a pest and cracked jokes at Ron, Hermione and Harry's expense but she never really entered into that equation. She had taken such offense because of her feelings for Harry and had therefore acted rashly. How could anyone have lived with that much pain all this time and still been able to recognize love and appreciate it, she wondered.

"Do you think we should check on them or bring them back something?" Katie asked the rest at last.

"No, I think we should leave them alone and go back to Gryffindor dorms for tonight. Hermione knows how to get to the kitchens if they need something." Harry told the rest.

"I just hope there's nothing wrong." Ginny stated softly.

Little did she or the rest of the group have idea of what was taking place on the other side of the castle and how everything seemed to be in great peril at this moment. Two lovers suddenly felt completely at odd with devil's in their own minds and hearts but afraid to voice what the real problem or fear was. Would either have the courage or patience to solve the real problem at hand or would a fragile love fall to the way side along with the last precious hope of the Light side??????

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When Draco turned around to go and find Hermione again, he saw her standing there looking less than happy with him. He thought about certain portions of the song that were kinda brutal but if she kept it all in context she would understand, right? No, he soon found out that wasn't necessarily the case....

"Is that how you really feel...like you could wrap your hands around my neck?" she fumed.

"I would never lay a hand on you and should know that by now...it was the song as a whole that I was listening to. You know that alot of the songs we listen to that every single word or phrase doesn't have to be taken literally. It's what thoughts jump out at us while we're listening to it that's important." he said in his defense.

"Oh yeah, well I have a song for you then. Care to hear it?" she barked at him.

"Yes, actually I would." he retorted.

Hermione went to her room and Draco could hear the sounds of her rustling through her CDs until she finally came back out. She popped the disc in and found the right track and then stood back to watch his reaction as it played.

Whenever i step outside, somebody claims to see the light
It seems to me that all of us have lost our patience.
'cause everyone thinks they're right,
And nobody thinks that there just might
Be more than one road to our final destination

But i'm not ever going to know if i'm right or wrong
'cause we're all going in the same direction
And i'm not sure which way to go because all along
We've been going in the same direction

I'm tired of playing games, of looking for someone else to blame
For all the holes in answers that are clearly showing
For something to fill the space, was all of the time i spent a waste
'cause so many choices point the same way i was going.....

So why does there only have to be one correct philosophy?
I don't want to go and follow you just to end up like one of them
And why are you always telling me what you want me to believe?
I'd like to think that i can go my own way and meet you in the end.

But i'm not ever going to know..........

Draco almost instantly recognized the sounds of Hoobastank and he listened closely to the words before turning back to her to return the favor she had paid to him.

"Hermione, I know we're on the same side. I don't want to fight with you but please understand that this all has to be done. It's not that no one cared about your thoughts or feelings, it's that this is the way it had to go down. But if you doubt me, just keep listening to your CD and see if the next song explains to your heart what went wrong." he told her before turning on his heels and going to his room and closing the door leaving her all alone once again.

As her song ended she listened closely to the next song and realized what had hurt he so badly and even why......

I thought it was too good to be true
I found somebody who understands me
Someone who would help me to get through
And fill an emptiness i had inside me
But you kept inside and I just denied
Some things that we should have both said
I knew it was too good to be true
Cause i'm the only one who understands me

What happened to us
We used to be so perfect, now we're lost and lonely
What happened to us
And deep inside I wonder, did i lose my only?

Remember they thought we were too young
To really know what it takes to make it
But we had survived off what we have done
So we could show them all that they're mistaken
But who could have known the lies that would grow
Until we could see right through them
Remember they knew we were too young
We still don't know what it takes to make it

We could have made it work, we could have found a way,
We should have done our best to see another day
But we kept it all inside until it was too late
And now we're both alone, the consequence we pay
For throwing it all away, for throwing it all away...

The picture was becoming clearer to her but she didn't like the answer she was getting. She knew she had gotten scared at the danger involved and the when Voldemort's plans began to take shape, it just became to real and she needed time to regain her composure. That was all it was. She had never meant to doubt his love but he was so new to her that she missunderstood her own thoughts and fears. Why is this happening? He thinks that she threw it all away but it's him that's walking away and not her. She's here and she's not going anywhere. With that she got up and went to his room, tried to open the door but couldn't so stood there and pounded on the door to get his attention.

He heard her calling his name, wanting him to come out but he couldn't move. He just sat at the window, looking outside at the forbidden forest, thinking of what might have been and trying to ignore the pains in his heart. What ever was there, is gone now and no matter what is said or done, they had crossed the point of no return. He would still fight to get rid of Voldemort but not for her or the promise of their future but for himself and his own future. Even if he couldn't picture one without her in it right now.....

He wouldn't answer the door and it was really starting to tick her off. Maybe he thought that this was the last word on the matter but he was far off on that one. She would sit outside this door all night if she had to because after everything that had happened she wasn't going to allow it end like this. She grabbed a book and started to read just outside his door when he eyes began to grow heavier and heavier but she refused to give in to the darkness for all she was worth. Unfortunately, the harder she fought to keep her eyes open , the heavier they felt until she finally plunged into the darkness and all hell broke loose in her mind.

The days events seemed to play in a continuous loop over and over again to the point she thought she'd go crazy but then suddenly stopped and she saw Draco standing before her. He was cursing at her to let him go, that it had all been a mistake and they were both just to different with too much history to make it work. She saw herself standing there in defiance telling him that no matter what he said or did she would always love him and stand by him. With each word she spoke he seemed to grow more and more agaitated. It was like watching a movie and not being able to stop the events that were unfolding before her eyes. He wasn't going to forgive her. He wouldn't let himself give in to her. But why? She had made a mistake in judgement, nothing more, nothing less. She was only human, or maybe only a mudblood by his estimations.

Looking at the pained expression on his face, told her that she had hurt him to his very core. Everything he had risked for her and this was how she repaid him. Merlin, she was the biggest fool to walk the face of the earth. The tears wouldn't stop falling for any of them and yet the forgiveness was just out of reach. That is until a figure appeared in the distance. A hideous laugh came out of the shadows, yellow slits for eyes and a suffocating feeling of evil surrounding them both.

"Good work, Dragon. Her loyalty to you will be invalueable to our cause. Miss Granger, I want to thank you for coming here today. If you hadn't followed our young Dragon, then would never have been to get so much information and leaverage against Potter." he exalted.

"What do you mean? I'll never help you." she replied defiantly.

"Oh, but the Dragon can be very persuasive, can't you?" he hissed.

"Please don't Draco, you'll die if you do." she pleaded.

"You've already arranged that, haven't you now???" he whispered in her ear as turned around to face her, wand pointed directly at her heart.

Hermione awoke with a start. She had the most sickening feeling in the pit of stomach. It felt like a thousand spiders were feasting on her insides. Could it be true? Could Draco really do this? Had she really broken his heart and turned him from them all????

(a/n...the songs that appear in this chapter are Feeling This by Blink 182 , Until the Day I Die and What Happened to Us by Hoobastank)....please review as I need inspiration.......