Notes: Wee! Another chapter. This one was actually giving me some trouble. Writer's block and all. This is all warm and squishy, too, though I don't think I like this chapter very much. Thanks to Sherridan an mushi-azn for their comments. Thank you! X3 There should be more story to come. And I might upload this again as I'm currently being forced to use a computer missing the most vital, (Bum, bum, bum) Microsoft Word. Sooooooooo, this is all rough. And I know we're not supposed to upload hot off the press stuff, but nuts to that. I'll edit it later once I re-read it if I see any problems. Sooo... enjoy! And like always, please R&R!
Once Chopper was done fixing his companion up, an awkward silence filled the room and clung to the air. Chopper stared at the man who had once tried to cook him, the man who could protect him more than he could heal in return, the man who had put himself in Chopper's care, who had trusted his life to Chopper. Sanji stared back. What was there to say? What could Chopper ask?
Oh, what Chopper wanted to ask. What he wanted to say. He wanted to know what it was like, how Sanji felt, when Sanji started to hide his shame. He wanted to tell him he knew how he felt, how it was to be a freak, how it was to be rejcted. He-he almost wanted to comfort and protect him. He felt emotions and sympathy like he had never felt, and he didnt know more than Sanji's contempt for his own eye. But he couldn't ask any of those things, couldn't bring himself to speak a word of the pain he knew. What would Sanji think if he said anything? What would he feel? What if he hated Chopper for it? What if he lost one of the few friends he had.
Sanji stared back at him, his hair pushed behind his ear haphazardly, a few strands falling away to their usual resting place. His eye could be seen, staring without seeing, at the boy, below bandages and an eyebrow without a curl. The reindeer was sweating and nervous, with an awkward, afraid look in his eyes. Of course Chopper was afraid of him. His eye wasn't something people wanted to look at. It wasn't something that put people's minds at ease. It was freakish and grotesque and disgusting, and he was freakish and grotesque and disgusting. It was something to hate, something to turn away from. It was something to fear. He shouldn't have let Chopper see. Shouldn't have showed him. Shouldn't have trusted him.
"I'm sorry," he said almost awkwardly, "you shouldn't have had to see it. What if we just try to forget this whole thing, okay?" He wished they would forget, even though he knew Chopper couldn't.
"N-no!" Chopper jumped, "I-I..." His words were lost and he tried to put together his thoughts. With a major leap of courage, he spoke again, "I'm glad. To have someone else who knows how it feels to... to be a freak." His voice was choked and pushed out of his throat though all of his being wanted him to stay silent.
Sanji's eyes grew wide for a second at his words. Yes, he was a freak. Even Chopper knew it, but wasn't Chopper a freak himself? Of course he was! The reindeer on two legs who talks! And then Sanji started laughing. He laughed hard as he had to keep gasping for more breath. He laughed so hard he nearly cried, the pain from his ribs tearing through his whole body, but he kept laughing. He laughed and laughed until Chopper started laughing with him. They laughed until they were on the floor, laying there, tears pouring down their faces, sides held in the most pleasant pain possible. And then they kept laughing.
Once the guffaws and snickers died down, Sanji laid next to the most curious of their crew, his arms behind his head.
"They used to say I was possessed," he said, staring at the ceiling. He didn't know why he was telling this to Chopper. Maybe it was just having someone, anyone to tell it to.
"They said I was possessed, " he went on, "so I started to brush my hair over it. I could never see out of it anyway. But they all knew what was underneath it. They always knew, and they woud always hate me. Then these sea chefs stopped into town. Apparently they had to restock. That's when I knew I had to be a cook. That was always something I could do well. I cooked, and I put myself in my cooking. And it didn't matter that I couldn't see half of what anyone else could see. I could taste more than anyone could. So I left. I was with people who didn't know what I was. I was a sea chef for a long time, until, well... I was a sea chef for a long time."
As he spoke the pain of the memories could almost be seen pour from his mouth. It was a near tanglible feeling of sadness and nostalgia that filled the room. Chopper found himself sniffling at Sanji's simple story. He thought about what Sanji had been through, and it made all of his memories wash up to him.
"Your parents let you leave?" Chopper asked, the sympathetic sorrow in his voice thick, but he had to know more. He had to drink up this knowledge as quick as he could. He had to understand his friend, and how he felt. He felt like he had to know everything about him.
"My parents..." Sanji trailed off, his voice tainted by loathing, "my parents were glad to see me go. They never wanted me..."
Suddenly the blond felt a soft furry face against his side, tiny arms wrapped around him tight. He let his breath be knocked out of him wth a soft, "Ooof!"
"Sanji!" the creature clinging to him wailed, "I'm sorry, Sanji! I know how you feel!!! But I want you, Sanji!! You're my friend and I want you!!"
Sanji chuckled a little as tears rolled down his cheek. All of a sudden Chopper reminded him of the only other person who had seen what he was and accepted him for it and he cried against the oversized hat of their doctor.
"You're my friend, too, Chopper, and I want you."