Disclaimer: I honestly own nothing. Except for the Harry Potter books and the second movie cus the only two parts in the first movie that I like are the part where Harry and Draco and the other people fly for the first time (what? It's perverted! I'm a pervy teenage girl, I'm allowed to take "Okay now stick your left hand over the broom and say 'Up'. Once your broom is firmly in the air, you may mount it, but be sure to squeeze tightly, you wouldn't want to slide off the end." Roflmao, I can't help myself, I really can't.) and the part where Draco and Harry see Voldemort drinking unicorn blood and Draco runs away screaming like a little girl, and then once you get a close up on Harry you see him running and screaming in the background.
Author's Note: Thank you Bea and Wren Craven for reviewing chapter 2!!!!! I love you guys!!! Oh, and WC, I'll read your fic but I can't promise when cus school just started and they're trying to kill us, literally. Ok back to the note I wrote on vacation. I'm still on vacation, stuck in a car driving around La Jolla while we wait for our hotel room to open up. Ah, laptop's are the savior of mankind. Oh look goody! Traffic! And I have to go to the bathroom! Urgh this is sucky. Ok, to pass the time I'm gonna work more on Simple and Clean! Woohoo!!! Ooooooooh a cute guy! And another one! Oooh, that one over there only has a towel around his waist. Ok, maybe I'll eye the male gender around here for a while, THEN work more. Tehehehehe. Oh yeah, and I'm going to be altering from Draco's thoughts and Harry's between chapters, so this chapter is going to have the sexy blond, aka Draco, thoughts.
::bla bla bla:: Thoughts
:::bla bla bla::: song lyrics
##bla bla bla## japanese (not sure that this will be needed cus of the Translation Charm thing, but oh well)
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:::When you walk away:::
:::You don't hear me say:::
:::Please, oh baby, don't go:::
:::Simple and clean is the way that you're making me feel tonight:::
:::It's hard to let it go:::
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Walking down briskly to the Great Hall for breakfast the next morning, Draco decided not to think about last night. ::Even though Harry looks very sexy when he's clueless about everything around him...damn it, I thought that I wasn't going to think about last night again!::
Grumbling, the blond plopped himself down at the Slytherin table in between Zabini and Goyle. Blaise looked up at his foul-looking friend and pushed a piece of toast with raspberry jam at him. "You know, you may not be a morning person, but judging by the looks of things you're going to be even nastier today. What's up?" ::Grrrrrrrr so menacing! The growl of the morning Draco can scare away the fiercest of morons. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to be working with the wild, irritating Blaise Zabini.::
"Nothing I care to talk about, Zabini. Now leave me alone so I can eat," snapped Draco as he grabbed at the toast and poured himself a glass of orange juice. ::Honestly, some people have no consideration. A man needs his food!!! Mmmmm raspberry!!! Yummy!::
"Well, I guess I was right about you being Mr. Sunshine at the moment. Hey Goyle! Pass the syrup." ::Mr....SUNSHINE?! What the frick?!::
"Um...Blaise?" ::Blimey! The morning Draco has become tame! What a sight to behold! Ok, why am I talking like the Crocodile Hunter?::
"Yes Mr. Grumpy Pants?" ::Wtf mate? Ok, time to drop the Crocodile Hunter impressions.::
Draco growled. "NEVER call me that again, you hear?" ::It makes you sound like my boyfriend, and we all know that Draco Malfoy will never allow anyone that a certain Harry Potter be his boyfriend.::
"Fine. Personally I think that it's a great name, but, whatever." ::Only cus you wanna get in my pants and that's as far as you're getting. Sucker. Harry had better be glad that I'm saving myself for him.::
"So what were you going to say?" ::Wait a minute, I didn't yell at my brain for thinking about Harry that way. GAH!!! MY BRAIN HAS TAKEN CONTROL OF ITSELF!!!!::
"Uuuuurrrrrrgggghhhhh" ::AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!! RABID BRAIN ATTACK!!!!! IT'S TAKING CONTROL!!!! IT'S TAKING CONTROL!!!!::
"Um...Draco? Wanna tell me the reason you're half groaning, half growling?" ::Hey, aren't brains supposed to have control of itself?::
Blaise waved his hand in front of Draco's face. "Yo, earth to Draco. Asking a question over here." ::Yo, earth to Blaise. Having a philosophical debate here! Come back in a few days. Ok, now back to debate.::
"Grrrrr uuuuggghhh arrrggghhhh." ::If they have control of itself, then does that mean that half my brain wants Harry and the other half doesn't?"
"Hey Crabbe! Goyle! Got any ideas how to snap blonde out of whatever he's in?" ::Go hate-Harry half, go!::
"Umm...." ::Noooo the like-Harry half is winning!::
"Uhh..." ::Go for the nuts hate-Harry half! The nuts!::
"Oh why did I even bother asking the two of you?!" ::Ooooh nice! Again! Again! Kick him in the head again!::
"Hmm...maybe this will work." ::How do you like that, like-Harry half? Huh? Huh?::
"Hey Draco, Harry Potter's coming over here with nothing except a bathroom towel around his waist and he looks like he fancies a shag." ::Muhahahaha...WHAT?!?!?!?!?!::
Draco's eyes widened and his face fell right into a nearby bowel of porridge. Picking his head up out of the bowel and ignoring the disgusting looking substance on his face, he looked around quickly. "Where?! Where!?" ::Whhhaaaaaaa where is he?!?!?!!?! Wait a minute, isn't that him with Ron and Hermione? NOOOO!!!! THEY BEAT ME TO HIM!!!!::
Blaise rolled out of his seat laughing, literally, while Crabbe and Goyle looked around the Great Hall too. "Man Draco, I knew you weren't exactly normal, but Potter? Man, you got weird taste." ::Wait, he has his robes on. Hmmmmm...wait a minute. Bllllaaaaiiiiissseeeee!!!!::
Having spotted a fully clothed Harry Potter sitting with his friends while eating his own breakfast of scrambled eggs and toast, and realizing that it was a trick, Draco turned back to Blaise, who was still quite literally laughing his ass off, glaring. "What the hell did you do that for, Zabini?!" ::You'd better have a good reason or you're going to become best friends with my fist.::
"Oh no reason." ::Besides making me look like a fool, right? Right?!::
"No reason?!" Draco hissed at the boy. ::I'm gonna kill you, I swear I will.::
"Yeah, no reason. Other than getting you to snap out of whatever you were in. Which it did very well I might add." ::Once I'm done with you're going to be snapping are the buttons on your burial tux!::
"You know, if I didn't know any better I'd say you had a death wish." ::Hm...lets see. What flowers should be at your funeral? Roses, or carnations?"::
"Oh stop threatening me Draco. You know you love me." ::Dandelions would be best. Roses and carnations are too pretty. What the hell?! I only love one, Harry Potter! I didn't just think that.::
"Like hell I do!" ::Who could love a backstabber that resembled a toad?!
"Yes you do. You know why?" ::Enlighten me::
"No, enlighten me. Why would I love a toad resembling..." Speaking your thoughts is always healthy for the mental. Not that I'm mental or anything...::
"You love me because I happen to have the password to the Gryffindor common room." ::Oh My God. I've died and gone to heaven. Either that or someone's killed me and I'm really in hell and it's theatrical day.::
"...Adorable, hot, sexy, angelic, life saver? Because I've just fallen madly in love with you and am considering shagging you senseless right now. Did I mention that I have a thing for brunettes who..."::who could have known that toady was handy dandy? Did I just say handy dandy? Oh god, the world is coming to an end.::
Blaise laughed. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know, I'm great." ::Uh huh, yeah, you keep thinking that.::
"May I ask how you got the password?" ::I must know for future blackmail references.::
"Sure. I had a little fun with a certain Gryffindor last night. Hell of a fun time. Kept having to avoid the glasses, though..." Gryffindor Glasses=GAH!!!!!!!!!!!!::
Draco pulled out his dusty goldfish impression. "You...you didn't!" ::ohmygodohmygodohmygod he slept with Harry! Nooooooooooooo!!! I'm doomed!! Doooooooommmmmmmeeeeeedddd!!!::
"Yeah, I did. Who would have thought that Finnigan would lose his contact lenses right in the heat of the moment. Still was a blast of a night though, don't regret a thing." ::I think I'm going to faint. Yup, here I go. Hellooooo floor.::
Thump.
Harry, while walking out of the Great Hall, looked over at Blaise (a/n: They're sitting close to the door, by the way.) "What was that?"
"Oh, just Draco being his usual graceful self."
"Really? What did he do?"
"Fell out of his chair. Again."
Thump.
Ron, who had been straggling behind Harry, heard the sound. "Oi! Zabini! You seen Harry? And what was that sound?"
"Yes I have, he's on the floor."
"And pray tell why that is."
"Oh, I told him that Draco fell gracefully out of his chair after I told him that I slept with Finnigan last night after he thought that I'd slept with Harry cus I know the password to your common room and I said something about glasses."
Thump.
Snape chose that moment to walk by. Rolling his eyes, he looked down at the three teenage boys lying on the ground, with dazed expressions. "Pull yourself together you three! You'd think that you just heard Zabini say that Draco fell gracefully on the ground after Zabini told him that he slept with Finnigan so he now knows the password to Gryffindor Tower and plans to give it to Draco so he can sneak in to have a night of passion with Potter."
Thump.
"Oh, stop being a drama queen Zabini and get off the ground. NOW."
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And so the next hour found the Slytherins and Gryffindor seventh years in a stifling dungeon stirring boiling pots of Polyjuice Potion. Grumbling, Draco stirred his brew while snapping out orders to his partner, who was none other than Blaise. "No no no! You have to cut them into vertical strips, not horizontal ones! Argh! Now look what you've done! These ingredients are ruined!" ::Can't anyone ever learn how to read a BOARD?! How hard can this be!?::
"Mr. Malfoy, is there a problem?" Snape asked after suddenly appearing in front of the blond's cauldron.
"Yes, I've been paired with a moron." ::I really wish I knew how to do that, then I could appear in front of Harry and have some fun with him whenever I wanted. Mmmmm that sounds like fun. Yay! Happy thoughts!::
"Well, we can't have our second best student be paired with a 'moron'. So how about an idiot instead?"
Draco's goldfish impression came to the surface again. ::This may be undignified, but it doesn't matter. What the hell is he doing!? He's supposed to sympathize with me, not make my life even worse!::
"Potter! Get over here, you're being paired with Malfoy for the rest of the period." ::On second thought, Snape, I love you. I really do.::
"Oh, stop giving me puppy eyes Mr. Malfoy, it is disturbing," Snape gave him a disgusted look. "Honestly, I'll never understand teenage hormones." ::What? You were born as a full- grown man and never experienced life as a teenager? Damn, your mom must have hated you for having to give birth to you. Ewwww, I'm glad I'm a guy.::
Draco looked at Harry, who had just sauntered over. Giving him a quick run over with his eyes, the blond decided that Harry did, in fact, look even sexier up close than from a distance. Smirking, Draco crossed his arms and leaned against the desk, hoping to look cool without overdoing it. "So, Potter. You know anything about this potion? Or am I going to have to tutor you on how to create it." ::Tehehe, and the tutoring sessions will be held at my room from 9 pm to 7 am.::
"No, Malfoy, I think I can manage, but thanks for the offer." ::Nooooooooooooooo my hopes!! My dreams!!!::
"Hmph. Fine then, if you're so confident, YOU do it!" ::Revenge is sweet::
"Ok. Re-cut those strips that Zabini ruined and hand them to me when you're done while I stir this counter clockwise. Assuming that it isn't completely ruined from your lack of attention over the past few minutes. ::WHAT?! What happened to my revenge?! Nooo my revenge! Where have you run off to?! Why did you leave me here all alone! Ooh, naughty thoughts! Welcome! Harry is so sexy, Harry is so sexy. Harry in the bathroom with wet hair, a wet body, and only a white towel around his waist. Gaahhhh drool time.::
"Stop drooling Malfoy and cut those strips! By the way, why did you and your cousin come over to chat with us last night?" ::Harry tied down to the bed with a blindfold on...uh oh. Busted.::
"Um..." ::Meep somebody hide me!!!!!::
"Yes?" ::Must find happy place, must find happy place::
"She, uh, knew we were cousins and wanted me to introduce her to everyone." ::YES! SAVED BY SLYTHERIN TRAIT #5: Lying.::
"Really. Then why did you choose to start with me and my friends?" ::Damn, not saved yet.::
"Uh...I don't know. And besides, what does it matter? What's done is done, the past can't be changed." ::Slytherin trait #8: Avoid direct answer to hard questions.::
"Yes, but that doesn't satisfy my curiosity." ::Urgh! What's with the interrogating?!::
"What's with all the interrogating Potter? Is it really that important?" ::Speaking the thoughts is at times a good thing. Though saying to Harry that I think he'd look hot in black leather pants probably wouldn't be so good.::
"Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. Why do you want to know?" ::Why is this guy in Gryffindor? He should be a frickin' Slytherin!! He acts just like one! He's even got Slytherin trait #13 down: Answer uncomfortable questions with another question.::
"Because you're acting like a prosecutor, that's why I want to know!" ::Tehehe watching that Muggle show Law And Order is helpful. Who would have guessed. Mmmmm Harry sprawling on a judge's table. Good thoughts, good thoughts.::
"Um...hey, Malfoy? You ok?" ::Hmmm oh? Eek! Cutie's talkin' to me!!::
"Eek! I mean, yeah, why?" ::This is getting scary, why is he my partner again?::
"You got this weird happy look on your face, that's why. You never do that." ::Oh yeah, cus I'm a moron and made Blaise go away. Ok, avoidance time.::
"Whatever. I was thinking about something, so just drop it. Lets work on this potion." ::Not exactly your typical avoidance strategy, but it still works so it's all good.::
"Really? What were you thinking about?" ::Eeeeeeeekkkkkkkk::
"Oh nothing special, just you lying naked on a judge's table ready to be taken." ::Oh My God I'm DOOOOOOOMMMMMMEEEEEDDDDD!!::
Harry choked, his eyes so wide they were practically bulging out of his head. "Wh...what?!" ::Ok, quick recovery. I can still make it out of this alive.::
"You heard me. It was a damn good image too. Mmmmmmmm..." ::I'm dead. I'm really dead. Gaaahhh I'm too young to die!!!::
"Oookkk then. I'll take your word for it. If you don't want to tell me, then you don't have to make up lies or anything. Sheesh." ::Yes! Saved by the cutie's cluelessness! Tehehe I'm alive! I'm alive! Everyone sing the "Draco's alive!" song! Weeeee!!! Happyness.::
"You have that weird look on your face again." ::Never mind, I'm dying a slow painful death. That was just a mental lapse.::
"Do I? That's cus I'm singing the 'I'm alive' song in my head cus you don't believe me about what I said I was thinking about earlier." ::I think I subconsciously want to die. No! I know what it is! My brain is rebelling again! Nooooooo death by rebelling brains!!! WE'RE ALL DOOMED!!!!::
"Right. Ok then. Back to the potion." ::Yay! We're not all doomed yet! We can live to see another day!::
"Yup, and back to me fantasizing about you in leather. You know, you'd look good in black leather." ::Or maybe we really are doomed.::
Harry's response to Draco's comment was to fall off his laboratory stool.
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A/N: Tehehehe I hoped you like my comedy, the last little bit was written at around 12:30 am two weeks after the rest was written cus I took a writing vacation as soon as I got back from Southern Cali. Anyway, it's now 1:05 and I'm tired cus I spent the last 6 hours dancing with my friends at the welcome back dance and mock-flirting with my guy friend, which was very fun by the way, reading fics, and then finishing up this one. Oh yeah, and please please PLEASE review! I need support and/or criticism so that I can make this fic better!! Oh yeah, and feel free to flame but try not to flame me just because this is a slash fic, cus that usually just results in me laughing and making fun of the flamer with my friends online. So anyway, please review and I hope that you enjoyed this chapter of Simple and Clean.