Disclaimer: ::sneaking out of a building hold the copyright document thingy for Harry Potter::

Cops: There she is! GET HER!

Ddc: AAHHH!! ::Runs away with cops chasing her::

10 minutes later

Ddc: ::handcuffed and being put into a cop car:: I tried, I really did! But I still don't own Harry Potter. Hey, watch it buddy! Oww my head.

A/n: Wel guys, because this chapter is already hella long, I'm gonna make this note as brief as possible. Sorry for the delay of this chapter, thank my friend Kit for making me update again as soon as I did, there are only 2 chapters left, please review, and now for the reviewer responses.

D&G: Tehehe can I really post Harry Potter fics on mediaminer? I thought it was just anime. Hmm. !!! Omg I know!! But me and Kit decided that that note he sent Harry was really a love note in disguise as a hate note. Harry just had to get rid of the glamour charm on it and he could read about Cutie confessing his undying love to him. Tehehe.

Kit: Oh well, I didn't do that in this chapter. Remind me to do it in the next one, ok? And with the making out part too. Tehe.

Jade: As surprising as this may sound, I don't smoke anything when I write these chapters. Never have actually. All I do is eat sugar. Tehe. It's the same as getting high for me, ask my friends. I go crazy when I eat sugar. Woops, sorry I didn't mean for you to have a near-death experience from laughing, but at least you thought it was funny, which makes me happy. Hope you like this chapter too!

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::bla bla bla:: thoughts

:::bla bla bla::: song lyrics

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:::Hold me:::

:::Whatever lies beyond this morning:::

:::Is a little later on:::

:::Regardless of warnings the future doesn't scare me at all:::

:::Nothing's like before:::

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Draco dodged a ray of yellow light aimed at his...lower regions while running at full speed towards the Great Hall, Harry beside him. ::Holy salsa dancing sausages, is she brutal! She isn't a Death Eater, is she? Cus if she is then I'm royally screwed.::

"Why the hell did you have to provoke her, Blondie?!" shrieked Harry. ::Tehe. He sounds so cute when he's scared silly. Probably why Voldie goes after him so many times, he gets to hear him shriek. I knew that underneath that sadistic, megalomaniac act he was really a gay pansy who loved kittens, flowers, and little boys! Maybe he was a priest in a past life...I'll ask Dad next time I see him.::

"Because it was fun!" ::And that, my friend, is the truth::

"You're a masochist and a sadist all in one, Draco Worth Malfoy!" ::Hehe I'm just special like that...Hey! My middle name isn't Worth!!! I mean, who would have a middle name as dorky as Worth? Some loser hobo guitarist?:: (a/n: I apologize if your first, middle, last, or maiden name is Worth. I'm bashing a little...enemy of mine at the moment, and this is only meant to insult them.)

Draco quickly ducked his head to avoid another curse, this one blue colored, that was flying directly towards his head. "You know you love me for it. And just for future reference my middle name is Edward, not Worth." ::Ha! Beat that cutie boy!::

"I don't care if your name is Edward or not, you're acting like a Draco Worth Malfoy right now!! Muhahahahahahaha!" ::Ouch. That one hurt. Hmm...Harry would make a good villain or Voldie knock off. He's got that whole evil laughter thing down. All he needs is the sky to darken behind him and lightening to flash dramatically, always to the right side of his face and he'd be perfect.::

"You know Harry, you should think about being the next Dark Lord. Your evil laughter is pretty damn good, except mine's better. But that's to be expected, because you see I'm the almighty Prince of Darkness, so you shouldn't feel too bad about coming up second when it comes to evil laughter." ::Because it's illegal to be better than royalty. Tehe.::

"Nuh uh!!! My evil laughter is so much better than anything YOU could dish out, Blondie!" ::Oooh, is that a challenge? I love challenges!!!::

Draco looked over at his lover, eyebrows raised as the doors to the Great Hall appeared in both of their sights. "Really now. Because I'm pretty sure that mine is 50 times better than the one you just pulled!"

"I wasn't trying on that one!!! Besides, I'm perfect, and perfect people have perfect evil laughs."

"Oh yeah?!"

"Yeah!"

"Well...yeah!"

"Yeah!"

"Ok enlighten me Oh Perfect One. Why is your evil laugh better than mine?"

"Because it's the most evil and sinister evil laughter ever known to mankind! Muhahahahaha!"

"Oh yeah? Well...mine's darker! And everyone knows that whoever has the darkest evil laugh has the better evil laugh!

"Oh yeah?!"

"Yeah!"

"Yeah!"

"Yeah!"

Harry paused, then jumped to the right to avoid being hit by a blast of white light, and then sighed. "Fine. How about this. We'll both do our evil laughs then decide from there who's is better."

"Ok. Prepare to lose again Loser Boy!" ::Yay! I get to win again!::

"Those were your last words Blondie! Muhahahahahahaha!!"

"Weakling!! Muhahahahahahaha!!"

"Muhahahahahahaha!!"

"Muhahahahahahaha!!"

At that moment the two boys burst through the giant oak doors, still cackling like combinations of Darth Vader and Cruella Devil, when they collided with a dark, foreboding figure who just happened to be standing right in front of the doors, causing the two of them to fall crashing to the floor, and the creepy and scary person to fall on top of them.

"Owwww my head!" groaned Draco. ::Whhhaaaaa I have a boo boo!! Hawwy? Will you kiss me and make the big bad bump on my head feel all better?::

"Oh do stop complaining and take it like a man, Mr. Malfoy!" came a strangely familiar voice on top of him. ::Hmmm...I've heard that voice before. Oh! It must be Harry, cus he's putting his hands down my pants!::

"Mmmm Harry! Couldn't you have waited until after breakfast for some of that? You greedy, greedy boy," murmured Draco.

"Huh?" came Harry's voice to his right.

Draco's eyes widened and he turned his head over to see Harry grinning next to him. "Hey Draco, what are you talking about? You hit your head too hard or something?"

The blond gulped. "If you're Harry...then who's trying to put their hands down my pants?!" ::Wait...there has to be a logical answer to this. Ah ha! Harry's got a twin!! Woohoo!!! I'm in pervy little Draco heaven! Except, he sounds a little bit like Snape. Wonder why. Ah, the universe works in mysterious ways.::

Draco looked up then and found himself face to face with none other than the said, or rather though, professor. ::AH!!! HE LOOKS JUST LIKE SNAPE TOO!!!! Wait...maybe that's cus that's not Harry's twin, that's Snape. Awww...no hot threesomes with me and two Harry's. Cue cute pouting on my part. Wait...EEK!!!!! SNAPE'S MOLESTING ME!!!! GET HIM OFF!!! GET HIM OFF!!!!::

"Stop squirming Mr. Malfoy, and you might actually enjoy yourself," snickered Snape as he continued pushing his hands into Draco's pants. ::AAAHHH!!!! I'M BEING VIOLATED!!! I'M BEING VIOLATED!!!!::

"GET OFF ME!!!"

"Now, now, Draco. It's not polite to shout at your professors," came another eerily familiar voice from in front of them. ::Oh crap::

Draco timidly peered around Snape's shoulder to see none other than his father, Lucius Worth Malfoy (unlike him, Worth was his real nickname) stand there smirking down at them wearing a short, black leather dress that went to his knees with matching knee high leather boots. ::Oh my god!! IS EVERYONE HERE GAY?!?!?::

"OH MY GOD!!! IS EVERYONE HERE GAY?!?!?!?!" screamed Draco as he kneed Snape in the groin and then pushed him off of him. ::This is a nightmare...this is a nightmare...ok Draco. Calm down...think of Harry running around naked in a field of flowers chasing butterflies...Harry running around naked in a field of flowers chasing butterflies...ahh...happy place.::

"Well, as a matter of fact I'm bi, and Snape is under a curse to have wild, probably hazardous sex with anyone he touches, so no everyone is not gay, but the majority is. Because that's just how the world works son. Now why don't you give the kind professor what he wants, and everyone else a free show," said Lucius grinning.

Harry and Draco looked from Lucius, to Snape, and then to each other. Eyes locked, they screamed as loud as they could, but then Snape jumps on top of them again, but still only tries to get into Draco's pants. ::WHY DO I HAVE TO BE SO GOSH DARN HOT?!?!?!? WHY?!?!!::

By now Topaz had left the Head Table and was standing about five feet away from Lucius, Amadea by her side, and the two friends started laughing hysterically.

"Serves you right for asking me if I was a professional whore!" called Amadea gleefully.

"This is better than MTV!" shrieked Topaz excitedly while jumping up and down, clapping her hands.

Hermione and Ron, who were standing by the doors gaping at the scene before them, looked up. "MTV?" asked Hermione thoughtfully.

Lucius looked over at the two girls, leering slightly. "Why hello there ladies. What are two good looking girls like you doing in a," he paused dramatically, "place like this?"

Topaz glared at him. "I happen to be a teacher here Grandpa, now why don't you do something productive and LEAVE?"

The elderly blond just smirked more and walked over to the glaring girl. "How about I do something even more productive, and take you two fine toys up to some special rooms I found when I was at school here? They have everything a man...or dream of," he said while snaking his arms around Topaz's waist, pulling her close to him.

"AAAHHH!!!! GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME YOU PERVERTED OLD GOAT!!!!" she shrieked as she jabbed her elbow into Lucius' neck, causing him to gasp desperately for air, giving her time to bravely run behind Amadea and cower in fear.

Amadea rolled her eyes. "Some brave hero YOU are!"

Topaz grinned sheepishly. "Hehe I can't help it. It's in my blood."

Lucius, having now gained possession of his respiratory system once again, approached the two bickering girls. "Ah, so you two like it rough eh? I can do that..."

The two girls stopped their arguing, took one look at the approaching man, and screamed "AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" while running in the opposite direction. Unfortunately, they neglected to see the human dog pile consisting of Snape molesting Draco and Harry (thought mostly Draco) and tripped over them. Taking advantage of their seemingly defenseless positions on the ground, Lucius dives head first over Snape and the two boys, aiming straight for Topaz and Amadea.

Meanwhile, in the human dog pile, Snape has succeeded in having one hand stuffed down Draco's pants, and is using the other one to get into Harry's. "Are you enjoying this as much as I am, boys?" he taunting, grinning crazily.

At the sight of Snape's long fingers reaching down the waistline of Harry's grey pants, something in Ron's mind snapped. "RRRRRRAAAAWWWWWRRRR!!!! DIE YOU PERVERTED SLIME BALL!!!!!" he screamed as he used superhuman strength to pull the Potions' Master off of the two boys, somehow get his wand out of his robe, point it at Snape, and scream "AVADA KEDAVRA!"

The body of the man fell soundlessly to the ground, and before the two slightly squished boys could get up and thank the red head, Ron growled, pulled Draco off the ground by his shirt, thrust the tip of his wand at the blond's throat, and scream again "AVADA KEDAVRA!!!"

While this was happening girly shrieks were heard as Lucius was thrown up and down in the air by Topaz and Amadea, who had actually paid attention during their 7th grade self defense class. The moment that Draco's body hit the floor again and Harry's heartbroken cry of "Noooooooooooo!!!" reached their ears, though, they quickly threw the man into a wall, where upon impact he created a nice Lucius imprint.

Ron looked at his best friend, who was clutching the cold, lifeless hand of his lover, and started cackling, "YOU ARE MINE HARRY!!!! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"

Harry stared at him wide eyed, unshed tears evident in his emerald green eyes. "Woah. I think you win the contest of who has the evilest laugh..."

"ALL THESE YEARS I'VE WANTED YOU, BUT YOU NEVER WANTED ME!! BUT NOW YOU HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO ACCEPT ME AS YOUR LOVER FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!!!"

Hysterical laughter was heard in the background, causing Ron and Harry to look over at Topaz and Amadea, who were now clutching their sides and rolling on the floor, literally laughing their asses off.

"Oh my god!!! You should see the look on your face Harry!!!" shrieked Topaz.

"It's hilarious!!!!!" agreed Amadea, laughing so hard she was purple in the face.

"Um...remind me again why this is funny? The love of my life is lying here dead! And so is my molester, but that's a good thing," said Harry.

"Tehehe no, the love of your life AND your molester are under the Head Table. Those are dummies that I put in their place," replied Topaz while pointing towards the table. Sure enough, there was Snape trying to tug off Draco's pants.

"But...how?!" yelled Ron.

"I'm very fast," said Topaz grinning evilly.

Harry ran dramatically over to the table, grabbed one of Draco's flailing hands, pulled the poor, traumatized blond out of the clutches of the evil Professor Snape, and hugged him close to his chest. "I thought I'd lost you..."

"I thought I'd lost my dignity!!!" sobbed Draco into his chest.

With that said, Harry scooped Draco up into his arms bridal style, and ran out of the Great Hall.

Just as he passed them Topaz managed to stop laughing long enough to shout out "Hey you two!! Don't forget you have DADA with me, Amadea, and Kanno after lunch! YOU'D BETTER BE THERE OR ELSE I'LL HUNT YOU DOWN AND DRAG YOU TO THE CLASS MYSELF!!!

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After several hours of doing things that are best not mentioned at this moment, Draco and Harry sauntered into the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom both with happy, satiated grins on their faces. Topaz and Amadea, who were sitting on top of the teacher's desk, took one look at their expressions and started snickering, while Kanno just smiled kindly at them, even though they were 15 minutes late to his class and had interrupted his lecture on the dangers of demonic souls possessing an unborn fetus' body.

The Japanese man cleared his throat and continued on with his lecture. "And as I was saying, the moment the soul of a demon possesses the body of the fetus, a battle between the two souls erupts inside of it, which usually means the ejection of the child's soul from it's body, and in most cases the destruction of the body, resulting in what would appear to be an unlucky miscarriage. However, there are some extremely rare cases when the two souls, instead of fighting one another, form a type of bond, connecting the two souls into one. In these rare situations, the child is born looking like an average baby, but has the intelligence, strength, and powers of a many hundred year old demon. However, these cases are extremely rare, and only three have been recorded in the last century."

Hermione raised her hand, catching the man's attention. "Yes, Ms. Granger?"

"Professor, what exactly are some of the powers of these people possessed by demons?"

"Ah, you have made a very common mistake, Ms. Granger. You see, a man or woman whos esoul formed a bond with a demon soul is not possessed by the demon, nor is he or she a half breed. They are simply referred to as Demon Children. Not to be confused with retched little brats who like to make everyone's lives a living hell, mind you. But to return to your question, the powers possessed by the Demon Children vary greatly. One could have little to no powers whatsoever, if they have joined with a weak demon, or one could be strong enough to blow up our planet five times in a row without break a sweat."

Meanwhile, in the back of the class, Draco was smirking as he looked at Harry in the corner of his eye. ::Tehe. Evil plan forming!!!!!::

Leaning over slightly, the blond whispered huskily into his ear, "Enjoying the lecture, love?"

The other boy shivered as he felt the hot breath of the Slytherin fly around his ear and his lips just barely brush the shell and lobe. "Yes, it's quite...fascinating."

Draco grinned. "How about I make it fantastic?" ::Tehe.::

Harry looked over at him, his eyebrow raised in a way that could have only been picked up from spending too much time with a certain blond. "And how do you propose to do that?"

In the background the sound of Amadea's voice was saying how a few years back she had had the pleasure of participating in a fighting duel with a very powerful Demon Child, and regardless of the fact that she was one of the best martial artists in the world, she still was laid flat within two minutes, and the Child hadn't even used any demonic powers. Of course, Harry and Draco weren't listening to this. "Oh, I don't know. How about I do...this?" whispered Draco seductively as he began to slowly kiss the other boy on the mouth, while equally slowly snaking his hand up Harry's shirt to stroke his well muscled stomach and chest.

A moment later a ruler was snapped down on their desk, startling them apart. Draco frowned and looked up to see who had been rude enough to interrupt them, only to find Topaz glaring fire arrows at him with her eyes. "May we help you, cousin?" he drawled nonchalantly as he leaned back in his chair and put his feet on the desk. Harry, beside him, was blushing like a school girl caught in the act, which he was, except minus the school part.

"I'm sorry DRACO, was our lecture BORING you?" growled Topaz.

"No, but it was a little monotone. I just decided to spice it up a little for me and my boyfriend."

"Well so sorry for being monotone, Draco, but I'd suggest you listen to this lecture. You might actually learn how to defend yourself against some of the most powerful creatures known to mankind!" yelled the girl.

"Oh don't give me that crap Topaz! You're such a hypocrite! You go around, preaching to me about how I need to learn to defend myself against dark creatures when you yourself are WORKING WITH ONE!!!" shouted Draco back, now standing on his feet.

The class gasped, Amadea and Kanno groaned, Topaz sputtered, and Hermione snapped her fingers muttering, "I knew it!"

"How...how did you know that?!" whispered Topaz.

Draco snorted. "It's not like it's very hard to figure it out. He sneaks around as much as Snape. I even know what he is. What? You thought that your little lecture on vampires would be overlooked by everyone? Do you think we're all idiots? Surely you must have known that SOMEONE would realize that Kanno fits all the characteristics of a vampire, except for the fact that he can walk around in sunlight."

Hermione spoke up then. "I know why he can walk in sunlight. The idea that vampires can only exist at night is an urban legend. True, most vampires prefer to walk at night, but this is only because of their heightened sight. Because their sight is about 25 times better than our own, sunlight has the tendency to harm their vision. Also, most vampires have very sensitive skin, so being out in the sun can be very uncomfortable. There were cases of very weak vampires going out into the sun and bursting into flame, because they weren't strong enough to keep the sun from burning them. The stronger or older a vampire is, the less affected they are be the sun. And that whole stake through the heart thing and the cross, that was just some religious fanatic talking."

Kanno clapped his hands. "Good, good Ms. Granger! You are absolutely right! Ok, I believe that was enough excitement for one day. Class dismissed."

As they left the class Harry gaped at his boyfriend. "How did you know?"

"I'm just a smart guy," replied Draco smirking.

"That you are, Draco. Which is why I think you and Mr. Potter should go and meet me in the Slytherin Common Room in 15 minutes, so that you can find out all the answers to your questions," came an evil voice from around the corner.

Eyes widened, the two boys screamed like little girls (again) and ran for their lives in the opposite direction the moment the grinning head of Lucius poked itself around the corner.

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A/n: Gaaaahhh this took me so long to do. 3216 words without the disclaimer, author's note, and review responses!!! And how do I know this? Because the damn Word lost this chapter halfway through it and I had to start ALL OVER AGAIN!!! ::sobbing:: It was horrible. 1000 words done, and it was all erased. Just like that! Tehe ok enough of me being a drama queen. Pretty please review, there's only one more chapter left!!