As we walked into the tree's mouth, I decided to start a conversation to pass the time. "Well, here we are, inside the freaky tree dude." I said. No reply. "Geeze, this place is big." No reply. "Hey Jess, are you planning on responding?" No reply. "Why won't you respond to me?" No reply. Idiot. I'm beginning to think he's dumb. No, not dumb as in stupid; we all knew he's stupid already. I mean dumb as in mute. Mute as in he can't talk. He hasn't said a single word and yet everyone seems to understand him. "Fine, I'll just talk at you then."
There was a big web in the center of the place. Jessica went over and stared at it. Then he tried to chew it as gum and he got stuck to it. He couldn't get lose, so I brought one of those big plants over to eat him so he could reappear at the tree's mouth. Yet another game over for him. The idiot is up to fifteen now.
"Let's look up here!" I flew over to a ladder. What's a ladder doing in a tree anyway? Oh well. He climbed up and we ran up the ramp. He found a slingshot in a chest so he could shoot bats and spiders with. Except, when he opened the chest to get the slingshot, he got his head stuck in it and got another game over. A couple spiders tried to attack him, but he thought they were gum so he ate them. You would think that would avoid a game over, but he turned purple and died, so he did get one. There was also a room with water and a spikey thing going over the water. He ran into the spikey thing and drowned in the water.
This kid was getting on my nerves. He's such an idiot. Then and there I decided I had to get rid of him for good. We got to the top level and the bottom was really far down, so I thought to myself, "Hey, if I push him off, he'll go kerSPLAT! and I'll be rid of -" and then he jumped off by himself, with me in tow.
"AAAH!" I screamed as I plunged downward. Why would he do this himself? I was going to do it to him! And why am I being drug along with him? "LET ME GO!" I screamed at him. He wouldn't. We landed on the spiderweb at the bottom and it burst, allowing us to fall even more to the bottom into a big puddle of water. Ick, I was all wet, and this water was invested with algae and bugs. Disgusting.
He pulled me along out of the water, took out a big stick, and lit it on fire. He almost burnt me to a crisp with it. "Watch it!" I yelled. He ran around burning all the webs so he wouldn't get caught in them again. He slipped and fell in the water and lost his last stick. So he tried to light ME on fire to get rid of the last of the webs, but I flew away, so he used his hand instead and then died from burns. After the game over he thought he was still on fire so he jumped into the water and drowned.
We found a room with these egg things in it. They were so disgusting! Jessica poked at them with his sword and they burst. He got to one too late and a little freaky-lookin' thing jumped out at us. The thing's eye turned red. This scared Jessica a lot, so Jessica put up his shield. The thing kept jumping into Jess's shield. It was so stupid. "Jess, just kill it!" I yelled at him. Jessica looked at me and drew his sword. The thing jumped onto him and he fell onto his back. It started licking his face!
Jessica then decided he liked the thing, so they got up and ran around the room. Jessica threw things at it and it caught it. (Don't ask me how. It's like an eye with legs.) I just floated there, gaping at them. Well well, the idiot found a friend! Idiot Hylian and idiot dog-like eye-creature thing.
"Jessica, we need to go!" Jessica stared at me sadly. "Fine then. We'll take it with us. We have to name it, because I don't want to keep calling it 'dog-like eye-creature thing', okay?" Jessica started running around again. "Fine, I'll name it. Hmm... Oh, I can't think of anything. Well, is it a girl or a guy?" They stared at me. I sighed. "Fine." I went over to the creature and flew under its legs. "Ew...EW! It's... I think... Yeah, it's definately a guy. Ew." That was so disgusting.
Then, I took some time to study the creature. It was spider-like, no hair, pretty ugly, it had one big eye, and two stubby legs. "I've come up with two names. We'll name him either 'Ms. Fluffy' or 'Mr. Eye.' Which do you like?" Jessica seemed to jump around at the mention of Mr. Eye. "You like Mr. Eye?" Jessica nodded his head. "Okay, Ms. Fluffy it is then." I know it's a guy, but I like Ms. Fluffy. I wish that was my name. That or Sally. But no, I'm Navi. Oh well.
"Well, come on!" I motioned for them to come. They followed me out and Jessica got caught in the door for another game over. (What an idiot.) Then we came out into a place with another spiderweb. There was also a torch and Jessica sort of got himself caught on fire - again -. He ran around trying to get rid of the fire, but it didn't help. He ran over the web and got his foot caught on it, causing him to fall on it. The fire burned the web and he fell head-first into more water. He hit the bottom with his head and got another game over. Then he found a heart in the pool and tried to use it as gum, so he got yet another game over.
We found three deku schrub dudes. They shot seeds at Jessica. He ran around getting hit for a while and then tried to use ME as a shield. I didn't like that. When I don't like something, I get mad. When I get mad, bad things happen. Long story short, Jess got quite a few game overs there. I guess you could consider them a present from me.
He brought out his shield and shot the seeds back at them, and after a couple million tries he got them all. They did kill him a couple times first, of course. Then we got to go through the door they had been guarding.
The room was really freaky. It was dark and swampy. We looked up to see a big red eye glaring at us. It jumped down and landed on Jessica. Man that thing was FAT! Jessica got two game overs from that thing landing on him. "Queen Gohma" she said her name was. We didn't care, really. Ms. Fluffy tried to keep her from seeing him. I'm guessing she was his mother and he did something VERY bad... But I don't know. Oh well, I don't care either.
Link was really scared of this broad. He cowered for a little while while she laughed at him. He wanted out, so he shot some seeds at her with his slingshot and hit her eye with his sword. He hated that eye when it turned red. After a few more game overs from her landing her fat bum on him, him trying to use the grass in the corners as gum, and him getting hit by the eggs she let out, she died. I think she had a few too many eggs. (No wonder she was so fat.)
Link found a heart in her remains and thought it was gum, so he ate it. This actually made him stronger. I was freaked out. Then this blue thing came and it crystalized us and brought us back in front of the tree dude.
He told us a bunch of crap about Hyrule and Jessica and told us that "we-eth must-eth go-eth to-eth Hy-eth-rule-eth castle-eth to-eth meet-eth Prince-eth-ess Zelda-eth." Then he gave us this emerald thing and died. I was sad because that tree dude didn't give me any money for helping this idiot Jessica AND he told me to help him around Hyrule.
So, we set off for Hyrule Field.
Total game overs so far for Jessica: 32
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So, how's it going so far? I would appreciate reviews. Yes, I am going to go through the whole game. I might go through Majora's Mask through Tatl's pov too, if you like this one.
There was a big web in the center of the place. Jessica went over and stared at it. Then he tried to chew it as gum and he got stuck to it. He couldn't get lose, so I brought one of those big plants over to eat him so he could reappear at the tree's mouth. Yet another game over for him. The idiot is up to fifteen now.
"Let's look up here!" I flew over to a ladder. What's a ladder doing in a tree anyway? Oh well. He climbed up and we ran up the ramp. He found a slingshot in a chest so he could shoot bats and spiders with. Except, when he opened the chest to get the slingshot, he got his head stuck in it and got another game over. A couple spiders tried to attack him, but he thought they were gum so he ate them. You would think that would avoid a game over, but he turned purple and died, so he did get one. There was also a room with water and a spikey thing going over the water. He ran into the spikey thing and drowned in the water.
This kid was getting on my nerves. He's such an idiot. Then and there I decided I had to get rid of him for good. We got to the top level and the bottom was really far down, so I thought to myself, "Hey, if I push him off, he'll go kerSPLAT! and I'll be rid of -" and then he jumped off by himself, with me in tow.
"AAAH!" I screamed as I plunged downward. Why would he do this himself? I was going to do it to him! And why am I being drug along with him? "LET ME GO!" I screamed at him. He wouldn't. We landed on the spiderweb at the bottom and it burst, allowing us to fall even more to the bottom into a big puddle of water. Ick, I was all wet, and this water was invested with algae and bugs. Disgusting.
He pulled me along out of the water, took out a big stick, and lit it on fire. He almost burnt me to a crisp with it. "Watch it!" I yelled. He ran around burning all the webs so he wouldn't get caught in them again. He slipped and fell in the water and lost his last stick. So he tried to light ME on fire to get rid of the last of the webs, but I flew away, so he used his hand instead and then died from burns. After the game over he thought he was still on fire so he jumped into the water and drowned.
We found a room with these egg things in it. They were so disgusting! Jessica poked at them with his sword and they burst. He got to one too late and a little freaky-lookin' thing jumped out at us. The thing's eye turned red. This scared Jessica a lot, so Jessica put up his shield. The thing kept jumping into Jess's shield. It was so stupid. "Jess, just kill it!" I yelled at him. Jessica looked at me and drew his sword. The thing jumped onto him and he fell onto his back. It started licking his face!
Jessica then decided he liked the thing, so they got up and ran around the room. Jessica threw things at it and it caught it. (Don't ask me how. It's like an eye with legs.) I just floated there, gaping at them. Well well, the idiot found a friend! Idiot Hylian and idiot dog-like eye-creature thing.
"Jessica, we need to go!" Jessica stared at me sadly. "Fine then. We'll take it with us. We have to name it, because I don't want to keep calling it 'dog-like eye-creature thing', okay?" Jessica started running around again. "Fine, I'll name it. Hmm... Oh, I can't think of anything. Well, is it a girl or a guy?" They stared at me. I sighed. "Fine." I went over to the creature and flew under its legs. "Ew...EW! It's... I think... Yeah, it's definately a guy. Ew." That was so disgusting.
Then, I took some time to study the creature. It was spider-like, no hair, pretty ugly, it had one big eye, and two stubby legs. "I've come up with two names. We'll name him either 'Ms. Fluffy' or 'Mr. Eye.' Which do you like?" Jessica seemed to jump around at the mention of Mr. Eye. "You like Mr. Eye?" Jessica nodded his head. "Okay, Ms. Fluffy it is then." I know it's a guy, but I like Ms. Fluffy. I wish that was my name. That or Sally. But no, I'm Navi. Oh well.
"Well, come on!" I motioned for them to come. They followed me out and Jessica got caught in the door for another game over. (What an idiot.) Then we came out into a place with another spiderweb. There was also a torch and Jessica sort of got himself caught on fire - again -. He ran around trying to get rid of the fire, but it didn't help. He ran over the web and got his foot caught on it, causing him to fall on it. The fire burned the web and he fell head-first into more water. He hit the bottom with his head and got another game over. Then he found a heart in the pool and tried to use it as gum, so he got yet another game over.
We found three deku schrub dudes. They shot seeds at Jessica. He ran around getting hit for a while and then tried to use ME as a shield. I didn't like that. When I don't like something, I get mad. When I get mad, bad things happen. Long story short, Jess got quite a few game overs there. I guess you could consider them a present from me.
He brought out his shield and shot the seeds back at them, and after a couple million tries he got them all. They did kill him a couple times first, of course. Then we got to go through the door they had been guarding.
The room was really freaky. It was dark and swampy. We looked up to see a big red eye glaring at us. It jumped down and landed on Jessica. Man that thing was FAT! Jessica got two game overs from that thing landing on him. "Queen Gohma" she said her name was. We didn't care, really. Ms. Fluffy tried to keep her from seeing him. I'm guessing she was his mother and he did something VERY bad... But I don't know. Oh well, I don't care either.
Link was really scared of this broad. He cowered for a little while while she laughed at him. He wanted out, so he shot some seeds at her with his slingshot and hit her eye with his sword. He hated that eye when it turned red. After a few more game overs from her landing her fat bum on him, him trying to use the grass in the corners as gum, and him getting hit by the eggs she let out, she died. I think she had a few too many eggs. (No wonder she was so fat.)
Link found a heart in her remains and thought it was gum, so he ate it. This actually made him stronger. I was freaked out. Then this blue thing came and it crystalized us and brought us back in front of the tree dude.
He told us a bunch of crap about Hyrule and Jessica and told us that "we-eth must-eth go-eth to-eth Hy-eth-rule-eth castle-eth to-eth meet-eth Prince-eth-ess Zelda-eth." Then he gave us this emerald thing and died. I was sad because that tree dude didn't give me any money for helping this idiot Jessica AND he told me to help him around Hyrule.
So, we set off for Hyrule Field.
Total game overs so far for Jessica: 32
________________________
So, how's it going so far? I would appreciate reviews. Yes, I am going to go through the whole game. I might go through Majora's Mask through Tatl's pov too, if you like this one.