"Jessica, Ms. Fluffy, and the sexy little fairy, Navi, set off for Hyrule Field. Navi was the beautiful-est fairy in all the land. She had long, glittery, silver wings, and the most wonderful hue of blue that you've ever seen. She was so sexy that she could have anyone - yes, anyone - that she wanted. Hyrulians, gorons, monsters, and all creatures, male or female, competed for the glory of being her's. She was the greatest fairy, no, the greatest being to ever have been! She was a goddess. She was--"

Jessica then poked me in the side with a stick.

"Grah, Jessica, don't poke me while I'm narrating!" I yelled at the little brat. Jessica doesn't like yelling. He then ran into a wall and received another game over.

"Sigh, Jessica, you're an idiot." Jess stared at me quizzically. "Yes, Jessica, I said sigh! Now let's get going."

That's when it happened. We came to a clearing, and just as we were about to start running, a giant owl dude started yelling at us! We were frozen in our tracks and couldn't move at all! Why? Why did he freeze us and start talking, talking, talking like a raving… Uhmm… Owl? I hate him. His name was Kaepora Gaebora. He told us about the place we were at, called Hyrule Field. He talked for about an hour, and finally, his horribly prolonged speech died. It was over! Hallelujah, it was over! I was ecstatically zipping around in the air, and I was all like, "YAY!" But do you know what horrible, terrible, horrific thing happened next? He asked us if we wanted to hear him talk again. Jessica somehow picked the "Yes, tell us again!" choice. Why, Jessica, WHY?!

And then… I died.

I woke up a couple hours later, as the sun was setting. A wolf howled in the distance. We were sitting at the edge of the clearing in Hyrule Field, right near where the owl was pestering us. I hate that guy. Ms. Fluffy was trying to eat a shoe. (I have no clue where he got it.) Jessica was sitting beside me, picking the grass and trying to chew it as gum (once again.) I checked his game over meter: it was at 76. How could he get almost 50 game overs in just a few hours?! We'll never know… Although, looking around, I saw trees bent over, chewed grass, a dent in a wall, a big hole in the ground, and… What is this? There's a little white thing popping out of the ground… It seemed to be pulling its way out of the ground. A hand pushed through nearby, and then another. The white thing came out further to reveal… A skeleton head…

And then we ran. As fast as Jessica's tiny, little, stubby, sexy, stupid legs could carry him, we ran. It chased us. More popped out.

"Jess, draw your sword!" He tripped. They ate him. Another game over. He came back. Tripped again. The skeletons, bellies full, shrunk back into the ground. Two more popped up.

"Double-you tee eff?!" I asked myself, panicking. Jess drew his sword this time, and chopped them up. Then, two more. He destroyed them, too. They came in two's. Two, two, another two. He chopped them to shreds and picked up a skull. He held it in his hand, got down on one knee, and pretended he was Shakespeare. Just then, a giant skeleton dude leaped out of the ground and crushed him under his feet. Jess reappeared after a game over, and the giant skeleton dude ate him whole, laughing. Jessica, reborn once again, kicked him in the foot. The giant skeleton dude ran away crying. He jumped into a river and died.

The sun came up and a rooster crowed. That's sort of weird how roosters crow every time the sun rises. I wonder if the rooster doesn't crow, is there a tomorrow? Will there be a tomorrow, or only today? Will I live to see tomorrow? I wonder…

Jessica poked me in the eye. I kicked him and he died. He was sorry. I told you that you'd be sorry, Jess, but no, you poke me! Idiot.

Anyway, we were half way to the market now. Jessica followed the path intently, keeping his eyes focused on it. He ran into sign and got a game over.

"The sign says, 'this way to Lon-' AHH!" Jessica began peeing on the sign. I flew away and shut my eyes tightly. It wasn't seeing it that bothered me, it's just… He's so… Big for his age. It makes me wish that I were a ten-year-old Kokiri.

"Jess, come on. Stop peeing so loudly." He zipped up and we walked away from the sign, towards the town, which was only about ten yards away. Looking up at the castle gates, I was somewhat amazed. It was a lot smaller than I had imagined.

So then, we went inside. No one could even imagine the horror we found.

Hey, this is Goku! You'll never guess what happens to Jess and the gang in the next episode of Navi's Point of View! Jess enters a tournament against a dude named Ganon-Cell and goes Super Hylian 24! Also, Saria and Vegeta have a baby named Tanks! Be sure to tune in next week! Boy, I love this show!

Game overs for Jess: 82 (Who thinks he'll pass 1000?)

I hope you liked this episode, everyone! From now on, I'll try to write an episode per week. Hopefully. Maybe.

Double-you tee eff – WTF, as in internet lingo… means "what the f---"

If you've never heard of DBZ, then I'm sorry! DBZ, or Dragon Ball Z, is a fairly old anime. It's sort of an okay anime, but it gets a bit boring and monotonous after a while. Goku is the main-ish character. In one part of the anime, there's a bad guy named Cell, and they all kick his butt. Some of the characters, like Goku and Vegeta, are Saiya-jins (pronounced sort of like sayan) from another planet. They can power up by going Super Saiya-jin, where their hair turns gold and gets really big or long. Then, they go SS2, SS3, and SS4. (Yes, I think the creators got a bit desperate…) Vegeta did it with an Earth girl named Bulma and had a baby named Trunks, who has purple hair. When I started watching this about 6 years ago, I liked the series. I watched it for about 3-4 years. But you know what? It got boring. 1. The creators desperately created more and more baddies, basically making things pretty monotonous… 2. It just sucks in English. I've heard it's a lot better in Japanese.

ALSO – a lot of shows have the "Next time, WHEE!" crap at the end, so I added it. So, Whee! (And sorry for the annoyingly boring explanation.)