Chapter 4 – Erata (Love)
Where do I stare from
How do I know?
Shaky focus and then my own face coming from the film.
"Fade in on Mark, the completely worthless waste of pathetically useless flesh he is."
Camera Mark looks down at the floor then back up at the camera.
"Don't think I didn't know. I knew where Maureen was all those nights. I knew what she was doing." He sighs. "But I didn't think any of them would ever mean more to her than what we had did."
He looks angry for a moment. "I had temptation too! All those times she dragged me to those clubs and would leave me by the bar? Those poor pretty little drunk girls I could have slept with? Would she have ever known?" He shakes his head. "More importantly, would she have cared?"
Camera Mark's face turns a slight shade of pink. "Sometimes I want to just sleep with someone else. Just to see if it would affect her at all. I think about April sometimes. It would hurt them both. Maureen and Roger. They're both too thick to realize how much we care about them. We should just fuck and then run away."
He rolls his eyes. "But that's something Roger or Maureen would do. And there's people like them and then there's the people that love them."
Romance is trap of hate
The days without her
A paroxysm
I remember the day Maureen told me about Joanne. I had thought it was bad when she told me there a guy she liked to sleep with sometimes.
'His name is…'
'I don't care what his name is! I don't want there to be someone else that has a name!'
Could I have handled it if she'd never told me about any of them? If I had gone on ignoring her nightly behavior could we have survived together?
But Joanne would have happened eventually, and it would have killed me in the end anyway.
'Her name's Joanne, Marky. I love her.'
'And I bet you're real sorry too, Maureen.'