Chapter Fifteen

Jordan looked up from her desk, from the stack of paperwork that she was still wading through. Garret had tried to deal with as much of it as he could while she was in hiding, but there were some things that only she could complete. Gazing out the window of her office, she thought about what all had happened in the month since she had been back. Cynthia Hough had been caught. The DA had worked out a deal with the woman. In return for a life sentence instead of facing the death penalty, Hough had rolled over the names of some fellow co-conspirators with European connections. The INS, FBI and CIA were now on the trail. Eddie had been right. This had gone far deeper than she had imagined.

She had talked to Eddie a couple of times since she had gotten back. She thanked him for all his work, for his kindness, his concern. "No biggie," he had said. "I'll do it for you anytime, Jordy. And my offer still stands."

She had laughed and told him to go find a nice, Catholic girl somewhere and fill that backyard up with kids. "Okay," he had replied. "But if you ever change your mind…"

She wouldn't. He knew it, too.

After Woody had brought her home, he had kept in touch. They e-mailed, talked on the phone, saw each other. He even came back to the Pogue to have drinks with her. It was almost like old times…almost. And it wasn't that too much time had passed and they couldn't regain what they lost. She had changed. Physically. Despite the fact that he had told her that children didn't matter to him, she feared that if they stayed together, and as time passed, he would change his mind…he would want the family that she couldn't give him. And then he would either leave her or become so embittered against her that he wouldn't love her anymore.

Jordan couldn't handle any more losses in her life. Her mother was gone. So was the brother she never really got a chance to know. Her relationship with her father hadn't been the same since he returned to Boston. To allow Woody back in her life and then possibly lose him…she didn't know if she would recover. I know love and life is about taking chances…but I don't know if I can risk anything else…

The days had slipped by … from August and her days at Woody's beach house to the cool, crisp days of a Boston autumn. It was September. It was that time again. Finally, pushing away from her desk, she grabbed her purse and her jacket and made her way down the hall to the elevators. Garret stopped her briefly. "You going to be okay?" he asked.

She nodded. "I'll be fine…I may not be back today, but I'll be okay. I always am."

"If you need me, call me?"

She reached for her cell phone in her pocket. "Will do…"

"Love, you want me to go with you?" Nigel asked, poking his head out of trace.

"No. I'm really, really fine. I just need sometime alone with her …you know?"

Both men nodded and watched her get in the elevator and go down to the lobby. Garret and Nigel had been concerned about Jordan ever since she had gotten back. Since her cancer scare, she had become quieter, but after she got back with Woody, she had retreated even further in her shell. They both knew Woody had been calling her, as well as seeing her, but neither knew quite what it meant. It was Nigel's fear that she would be hurt again. And Garret feared that if she was hurt, she would never recover. "If she's not back in a few hours, or we can't get her on the phone, one of us needs to go after her," Garret told Nigel. The tall man nodded. He respected Jordan's privacy in dealing with this issue, but he was just as worried as Garret.

Jordan drove to the cemetery. She figured she'd be by herself today … the anniversary of her mother's death. She didn't expect Max to be there. He had not returned to Emily's grave since he had come back to Boston. It seemed he had put everything in his past behind him…quite often, even Jordan. He concentrated on his bar – making it a success.

She wished she could do the same. Put all of her past behind her. Forget about everything…and concentrate on the future. Forget about her health. But that was always right there in front of her. She had to go back to the doctor as soon as she had gotten home for another pap smear…which came back negative. She always seemingly held her breath while waiting on the test results.

So health-wise she was once again fine. Womanhood-wise, her afternoon spent in bed with Woody had proved to her that she could still respond to him…despite everything. Motherhood-wise….that was still up in the air. The doctors still couldn't tell her anything different. She picked up the flowers in the passenger seat beside her and got out of her car. She walked the short distance to Emily's grave. Gazing down at her mother's headstone, she pondered her mom's short life. She was now older than Emily had ever hoped to be. She thought, at least for a while, she may find a spot beside her mother…but the doctors had been wonderful. She had her health back. She had a job she loved. She had good friends. And she had a man she loved very much – Woody. And he had told her repeatedly that he loved her. Wanted to be with her – permanently this time.

Was it enough? Was love enough to keep them together? Was it enough to allow them to forget what happened years ago? "Is it enough, mom?" she whispered, as she placed the roses and lilies on Emily's grave.

"Is what enough?" a soft voice asked behind her. For a moment, Jordan thought she was hearing things. She wasn't. It was Woody.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, as he came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"I remembered what today was. I went to the morgue, thinking maybe I could come with you, but Garret and Nigel said you had already left… I took my chances that you'd still be here…. So, is what enough, Jordan?" he asked, gently turning her around so he could look into her eyes.

"Is what we have…these feelings…enough to keep us together, Woody? What if I can't have kids…how is that going to make you feel in a few years? What if…"

He silenced her with a soft kiss. "No more what if's. The answer is yes. I love you. And that's enough. Forget the past. Forget what happened years ago….Let's just think about now. It's taken us long enough to put the past behind us, let's not try to resurrect any of it. I love you, and can't imagine my life on any level without you in it. And anyone else the good Lord sees fit to send our way is just a bonus. I want to grow old with you, Jordan. And if it's only us at the end of the road, so be it."

"Are you sure?"

"As sure as I'm standing here….with you. Thinking about the future. What do you say? How do you feel about becoming Mrs. Jordan Cavanaugh Hoyt?"

"You're proposing here?"

"Seems that way. Did you want candlelight, roses, and me on one knee?"

Jordan shook her head. "No…this is fine." And she pulled him down for another kiss. "And the answer is yes."

Woody grinned against her lips…she had never been traditional, anyway.

A soft cry woke Woody out of his sleep. A soft cry and the equally soft sound of his wife singing a lullaby. He always knew Jordan had a sweet voice, but it sounded even sweeter to him when she singing to their son. He got up from their bed and padded into the kitchen, to find Jordan balancing Joseph Maxell Hoyt on one hip with one arm, while checking his bottle with her other arm. "I'm sorry…did we wake you up?"

"Nah…you know I enjoy this time, too." He took Joseph out of Jordan's arms. "Hey…what's up, son? Hungry?" Jordan handed him the bottle and they made their way to the living room of their new home. Woody had purchased the house as soon as they knew about the baby. Woody sat down on the couch long-ways, stretching out his legs in front of him. Jordan sat down behind him, putting her arms around Woody and Joe. "So when do I burp him?"

"After two ounces…and good luck. He hates giving his bottle up."

"Don't blame him. Being hungry is serious business, isn't buddy?" Woody asked his small son, who was greedily devouring the contents of the bottle. The baby just grunted. His parents chuckled.

Jordan softly caressed Joseph's fine baby hair with one hand, while gently threading her fingers of her other hand through Woody's. Joseph was one of those bonuses that Woody had talked about. Not planned. Not expected. But incredibly welcome. On an impulse, she and Woody had gone to an adoption information meeting. They were told that while they may have to wait years for a baby to come available in America, they could adopt a Russian infant in less than eighteen months.

She still wasn't sure exactly how it happened, but two months later, she and Woody had found themselves on a flight to the Ukraine. The weather had been cold and nasty, but a week and miles of paperwork later, they found themselves flying home with a tiny, male infant. And their whole world had been turned topsy-turvy. They had expected to go there and fill the paperwork out. Be interviewed…checked out. They hadn't expected to fly home with a baby right then and there. They thought it would take longer.

Woody had called Garret and told him what happened. Garret had been in as much disbelief as the couple. He had immediately given Jordan three months maternity leave…and called Rene'. Between Rene' and Lily, a baby shower to end all baby showers had been planned. Upon arrival from the Ukraine, the young family had driven to the morgue to introduce Joseph to everyone. And were bombarded with gifts…a crib, formula, monitors, toys, clothes….the baby lacked for nothing.

And what was even better, at least to Woody, was Max was there. Jordan had tried her best to reconnect with her father, but hadn't been successful. All it took was a baby to mend the gap. Max had been at the shower…he had bought his grandson a bassinet and a train set. He had tentatively shook hands with his son-in-law, who had instead caught the older man up in a hug. Woody had taken Joseph out of Jordan's arms while she likewise hugged her dad. Then Max had reached for his grandson…and lost it. The tears came….and so did the reconciliation. Now, if there ever was a doting grandfather and dad, it was Max.

"Is it time to burp him?" asked Woody, holding up the bottle for Jordan's inspection.

"Yeah. Or he'll have a really upset tummy…and none of us will sleep tonight." Woody readjusted his son over his shoulder and patted the infant's back. Joseph whimpered and burped loudly – twice.

"Takes after his old man, I see," Jordan teased as Woody resettled the baby in the crook of his arm. And ironically the baby did…to those people who didn't know Joseph wasn't their biological son, they would never guess otherwise. Joe had blue eyes and raven-colored hair. "That baby was yours from the beginning," Lily had said, "whether anyone knew it or not. It's spooky how much he looks like both of you."

"You're just jealous because you can't belch that loudly," Woody replied, looking up into his wife's eyes. "Are you happy, Jordan?" he asked, suddenly serious.

"Incredibly. Two good-looking men in my life…three months of maternity leave so I can enjoy my son….a new house…great sex, what more could a woman want?" she teased, gently kissing Woody's forehead, and pulling him closer. "What about you?"

"Me, too…well, maybe I don't have the maternity leave….but the sex is great…and Joseph is a gift…as are you. Remember what I told you?"

"Forget what happened…don't resurrect the past…concentrate on the future…"

"Yeah…and the past is behind all of us now, and the future is right here…" Woody looked down at Joseph, who had fallen asleep in the middle of taking his bottle. "Don't you think?"

Jordan nodded. Their past may have been rocky…twisted…even tenuous at times, but their future was in their arms.