Chapter 16: Reflections
Title: A new beginning.
Author: Nikka
Author notes: Hi everyone, If you need to know about summary, rate and all the rest it's all in chapter 1 I'll just remind you that **English is not my native tongue** I want to thank Kelly for all the great works she's done, and to welcome aboard Nisus who from now on will be reproofing my fic. As it is you may still find some spelling & grammar mistakes. You're more than welcome to let me know about them but remember you may find them while you read the story. Have fun.
A special thank you to Nisus for reproofing my story. As of that the upload of the chapters may take longer. And to Kelly get well soon.
Feedback: I love love love reviews and I'll be sure to mention it at the end of every chapter.
***
She just wanted to lay down for a while. She didn't plan to fall into a deep sleep, as she did. She kept twirling form side to side. Her thoughts preoccupied her, even in her sleep. All her fears and wishes took over and manifested themselves in her dream.
~~~~~~
"Wow, aren't you excited? I know I am." Cordy turned confused to see Fred standing before her in a beautiful lilac colored dress. Her hair was worn up and she looked amazing.
"Fred you look...."
"What? Is something wrong?" Fred asked worriedly while touching her hair frantically.
"Oh no, the opposite silly, you look incredible."
"Thank you." She smiled bashfully, "but wait till you see yourself in the mirror. You'll die." She giggled excitedly. "I can't believe this is happening. I couldn't think of someone better than him who deserves this."
"Deserves what? And why are you dressed like that?"
"Very funny Cordy." Fred smiled. "Almost had me thinking you forgot the wedding is today."
"The wedding?" Cordy asked surprised.
"Yes silly. The day we've all been waiting for, planning for..." Fred smiled, but Cordy was still trying to figure out what was going on. "This is unbelievable. First he gets his humanity back and then he gets to marry the woman of his dreams. His love." Fred took Cordy's hands into hers.
"His humanity...? You mean Angel is getting married to..."
"The love of his life, as he said it." Fred completed the sentence. She had that dreamy look in her eyes. "It's about going to start, don't you want to take one last look in the mirror before you walk down the aisle?"
"Me? Down the aisle?" Cordy smiled, her heart was racing. Fred put her hands on Cordy's shoulders and slowly turned her around to face the mirror. "I can't believe I'm going to be Angel's..." Cordy stopped. She stared at her image in disbelief. "It's pink. I'm wearing a pink dress???"
"Of course, what did you think you'd wear? White?" Fred chuckled.
"But aren't I Angel's..."
"I know traditionally the best-man or woman in your case wears a tux." Fred cut her off. "But aren't you glad Angel chucked that tradition out the window? After all he did choose you to be by his side on his big day." Fred said with a joyful smile. "Don't worry you won't be alone, we'll all be there. I think it's the only wedding ever to have so many maid of honors and best-mans, considering the bride's side."
"The bride...?" Cordy was confused.
"Is ready and willing." Cordy turned to see who spoke although she had some idea by now. There she was wearing the most beautiful wedding dress Cordy had ever seen, actually it looked a lot like Cordy's dream dress, the one she'd been fantasizing about since she was 12. Her hair was perfect, her makeup flawless. She looked like a princess.
"Oh Buffy you look so beautiful." Fred said in a gushy tone. A soft tear ran down Cordy's cheek. "Oh look, she's crying," Fred said wiping away a tear. She put her arm around Cordy. "Isn't she a vision?"
"I hope the groom will think so." Buffy said in anticipation.
"Oh he will, he will." Willow, who stood beside her also wearing a lilac colored dress, said. "It's time, lets go." Buffy left the room followed by Willow.
"Come on Cordy, let's go." Fred called out to her. "Cordy... Cordy... Cordy..."
~~~
She heard someone call out her name. "What? I'm here we can start." She jumped up. She looked around confused. She was sitting in her bed, still fully dressed with the clothes she wore before.
"Okay if you say so." Fred said with a smile.
"What?" Cordy turned to see Fred sitting on the bedside. "Fred, what happened?"
"You fell asleep. And you said to wake you up around 20:00..."
"I was dreaming." She said almost to make sure. "It's 20:00 already? Has Angel returned?"
"Not yet." Fred replied. "Do you want to go back to sleep?"
"No I think I'll have a quick shower." Cordy tried getting up, but she found it difficult. She felt so heavy.
"Cordy? What's wrong?" Fred asked when she saw Cordy's expression. Cordy slowly removed the covers to reveal her enlarged belly. "Oh my god!" Fred said in shock.
"This can't be happening." Cordy started to cry.
"I'll go get Wes. Just stay here." Fred rushed out leaving Cordy in her bed crying in despair.
***
He started walking down the corridor; running was more like it. Time was against him. Suddenly he flinched and stopped. Mirrors surrounded him, he didn't remember seeing them before. But that wasn't what surprised him. The big surprise was that he saw his own reflection. But the reflections were not of him, they were of events, things that happened to him, things he'd done. He could hear every one of them, see them all. They all had one thing in common; they were all things he was ashamed of. 'Dream on, schoolgirl...your boyfriend is dead.' Angel flinched with each step he took. He saw all of Angelus' victims, all of the things he has done. "It's not you." He kept saying to himself. "Not you". Suddenly he stopped. He stood before a mirror that didn't show him at all, it showed Spike, lying on the floor in the hall, bleeding waiting for the sun to rise. Then the image changed into Spike fighting along with Buffy helping her. "Damn it, Spike. You had to play the hero." Angel turned and ran back. As he was reaching the entrance to the corridor all the mirrors vanished. He reached the opening to find Spike lying on the ground.
"Go on already, there's not enough time." Spike yelled at him. Angel peeped out and looked at the hourglass, it was the same as when he walked into the corridor, as if time stood still.
"I've already been there, and I'm not going back without you." Angel said and before Spike had a chance to respond, he limped forward dogging the wooden stake and landing on the floor beside Spike. "Now, we're going to do this together, and don't argue with me, I hate when you do that." Angel supported Spike who leaned on him.
"Is that all you hate about me?" Spike teased.
"Yeah right." Angel chuckled. "On the count of three you are going to take the biggest leap of your life, just imagine there's money on the other side. You like that don't you?"
"Or I can imagine Buffy waiting for me in open..."
"What ever works for you." Angel cut him off. "Ready?" Spike nodded and Angel began to count, "1, 2, threeee."
***
They both leaped together, but the weirdest thing was that nothing happened. They made it through without any stake thrown at they're direction.
"Imagine that?" Spike smiled. "Those powers have a kinky way of thinking. I like that."
"Listen Spike before we go on, you may see thing you don't want to see, so just keep walking and..."
"Bloody hell, I can see my own reflection." Spike stared at the mirrors.
"It's okay, just ignore it." Angel said avoiding eye contact with the mirrors, although he could hear everything.
"Why should I? I'm quite dashing, you know." Spike said in vain.
"What are you talking about?" Angel stopped staring at the mirrors seeing the same things he saw before.
"I'm talking about how good I look, even with this wound, which for some reason don't seem to hurt anymore." Spike smiled, admiring himself.
"You mean you see your own image?" Angel asked confused.
"Duh... isn't that what you're se..." Spike stopped realizing it wasn't. "What are you seeing?"
"Never mind. Lets keep walking." Angel kept on.
"Come on Angy, you can tell me." Spike pushed on.
"Let it go alright." Angel tried ignoring him.
"Is it a flashback to all the bad one night stands you had?" Spike chuckled. "Or is it images of me and Buffy doing the nasty that got you all..."
"Shut up Spike, just shut up." Angel pushed him on one of the mirrors. Suddenly the mirror began to crack and then it fell to pieces.
"Great, now look what you've done." Spike looked around and it wasn't his reflection he saw anymore it was Angel's. He now understood what Angel was seeing. "Angel you're..."
"Just ignore it." Angel said and kept walking. Spike followed, now that the pain returned, he walked slower than before. With each step they took Spike couldn't believe he was actually feeling sorry for Angel.
"And I thought I've seen the worst you've done." Spike said quietly. "It's like, Angel here's your life." Spike stopped and looked at one image in particular. "Is that your son?" Spike asked. "Oh look how you hurt her feelings, telling her her acting stinks. What? Angelus can't lie?"
"Look." Angel stopped walking and turned to face Spike. "I'm not proud of what I've done, but this is not me. This is Angelus in all his glory. So you can keep on mocking me, I don't care. Cause I know it's not me and I can handle..."
"Really?" Spike asked. "So, is that Angelus as well?" Spike pointed to the mirror behind Angel.
"They're all Angelus I told you..." Angel turned to realize it wasn't Angelus he was seeing. 'Angel, please. People are going to die...."
"And yet, somehow, I just can't seem to care.'
"It's not, is it?" Spike said in satisfaction.
"That was different, those were lawyers from hell." Angel tried to rationalize his actions.
"So that makes it okay?" Spike kept walking and Angel followed.
"No it doesn't, but I had my reasons." Angel said in his defense.
"And what were your reasons for that little act." Spike pointed to the mirror to his left. "Hey! No! You can't take this, I-I-I'm in the middle of it. Here, take this one...."
"Don't make me move you..."
"I don't even know what you are anymore..."
"I'm a vampire. Look it up."
"I don't have to justify myself to you." Angel said in anger.
"Apparently you do, cause in case you haven't noticed we've been going for quite awhile and there's no end in sight." Angel looked towards the end of the corridor, which seemed the same distance as it was when they entered. "I guess they're trying to tell us something and time is running out."
"Actually it's not." Angel corrected him. "Time moves differently here, or not move at all is more accurate."
"So unless we do whatever it is we're suppose to do, we'll never leave this place?" Spike already knew the answer. "Great."
"I don't know why I'm supposed to explain my actions to you?" Angel asked confused.
"I think it's more a case of explaining it to yourself." Angel didn't follow. "You're feeling guilty, not just for what Angelus did, but for what you did as well."
"I asked forgiveness and received it." Angel said quietly.
"And I can't believe I'm actually saying this; but have you forgiven yourself?" Spike played the shrink.
"Are you analyzing me? How come there are no images of your awful deeds of the past?" Angel was getting angry.
"Cause I don't feel guilty for what I did, as a vampire with a soul or a vampire without one. That's not to say I haven't done some questionable thing myself. I have. You know it better than anyone. But I don't torment myself over it. I had a bit of rough time a little while back dealing with this whole soul thing. But I got over it, while you on the other end, kept on brooding and brooding and brooding some more."
"That what makes me a man?" Angel said.
"No Angel. That what makes you a miserable man. What can I say? You got the bad part of the soul thing, with the curse and all. And cause of that you spent too long brooding when you should have been living."
"What? Isn't there anything you regret? Anything you're ashamed of? Something you wish you could have done differently?" As Angel finished his question the image in the mirror before them changed and now it showed Spike. "What's that?" Angel looked at the mirror in front of him. "Is that Buffy in the shower... what the hell are you doing there?" Spike lowered his head knowing what's coming up next. "What?" Angel yelled in shock. "You little..." Angel was just about to hit him when the image changed into a different one. This one showed Spike being stabbed and thrown down from a tower. "When was this?" Angel asked confused.
"About two years ago." Spike replied. "It was the night Buffy... well when she..."
"Died." Angel said realizing he saw the last minutes of the battle. He saw Buffy rescuing Dawn, by sacrificing herself and saw Spike crying over her dead body. Then the image shifted to Spike protecting Dawn from the demon motorcyclists. "You kept her safe?" Angel asked surprised
"I made a promise..." Spike said. And then the image changed again. 'Uh ... I do remember what I said. The promise. To protect her. If I had done that ... even if I didn't make it ... you wouldn't have had to jump... But I want you to know I did save you. Not when it counted, of course, but ... after that. Every night after that. I'd see it all again ... do something different. Faster or cleverer, you know? Dozens of times, lots of different ways... Every night I save you.' Angel stared in silence as the images faded away. "I don't get how you can love her so deeply and hurt her so painfully." Angel said.
"And I don't get how you could have let her go, to begin with."
"I didn't let her go" Angel cut him off. "She...", but Spike ignored him and kept on.
"But not really let her go." Spike finished off. "The conclusion, Angel my dear, is that we both did unspeakable things, with and without a soul, and we both have different ways to deal with it. You repress while I take it out on someone."
"That's not what I do." Angel objected to Spike's assumption.
"The point is, you have to let go of the past, just like I have."
"Did you really Spike? Did you really put it behind you?" Angel asked in skepticism.
"As much as I could, but never completely. To remind myself what I'm capable of, what we're all capable of." There was a moment of silence and suddenly they found themselves standing in a small chamber. In the middle they saw a rounded table and on top of it they saw a key.
"Finally." Angel said and reached out for the key.
"Angel wait..." Spike tried to warn him but it was too late a metal bar came shooting down from the ceiling went straight throw his arm and pinned to the floor.
"Awww!" Angel screamed in pain. He looked at his hand realizing he's stuck. "Try to move the bar." He said to Spike, who leaned down and tried pulling the bar out, but he was too weak and the bar was pinned to the floor tight and didn't budge.
"I can't. It's too far into the floor." Spike said.
Angel looked up and saw the hourglass standing before him. The sand had almost ran out, there were only a few minutes left. "There's not enough time." Angel said. "Take the key from my hand and opened the door. Get the answers we need."
"If I leave you here..." Spike started to say but was interrupted by Angel.
"I know, but there's no other way. I'm stuck. You're not. There's too much on the line."
"Angel I can't just leave you here, not after what you did for me. Besides Buffy will kill me."
"You said you have no regrets right? That you feel no regret? So, this should be a piece of cake for you. It's not like we're best friends or something." Angel twitched in pain.
"That's one thing no one can ever call us." Spike smiled.
"Spike please." Angel begged. "The sand is almost done, please, help her. She needs us to help her." Spike looked at the hourglass realizing Angel was right, there was only a few seconds left.
"No regrets." He whispered to Angel as he took the key from his hand.
"No regrets." Angel replied. Spike went around the table and opened the door. A bright light came towards him and he was pulled in.
***
TBC
Hi ppl,
You guys are the best. Thank you so much for reviewing it made my day... heck my week. So did you like this chapter?
I got some remark concerning the way I made Buffy and Willow seem petty and cruel. "Out of character" was a phrase some used. I read it again and again and although I don't think it was that bad, I thought I might have went over bard so in the next chapter I mellowed it down a bit and showed how they both felt sorry for the way they acted. Still some of you thought it wasn't enough, and that's fine. I except all reviews and love them all. I'll try to take it into consideration.
As I hope you noticed I found someone to replace Kelly, since she's still sick. His name is Nisus and he was kind enough to volunteer for the job and rescue you all from my horrible re-proofing, so a big thanks to Nisus.
Don't forget to send me a review and let me know what you thought of this chapter.
Thanks Nikka.
Title: A new beginning.
Author: Nikka
Author notes: Hi everyone, If you need to know about summary, rate and all the rest it's all in chapter 1 I'll just remind you that **English is not my native tongue** I want to thank Kelly for all the great works she's done, and to welcome aboard Nisus who from now on will be reproofing my fic. As it is you may still find some spelling & grammar mistakes. You're more than welcome to let me know about them but remember you may find them while you read the story. Have fun.
A special thank you to Nisus for reproofing my story. As of that the upload of the chapters may take longer. And to Kelly get well soon.
Feedback: I love love love reviews and I'll be sure to mention it at the end of every chapter.
***
She just wanted to lay down for a while. She didn't plan to fall into a deep sleep, as she did. She kept twirling form side to side. Her thoughts preoccupied her, even in her sleep. All her fears and wishes took over and manifested themselves in her dream.
~~~~~~
"Wow, aren't you excited? I know I am." Cordy turned confused to see Fred standing before her in a beautiful lilac colored dress. Her hair was worn up and she looked amazing.
"Fred you look...."
"What? Is something wrong?" Fred asked worriedly while touching her hair frantically.
"Oh no, the opposite silly, you look incredible."
"Thank you." She smiled bashfully, "but wait till you see yourself in the mirror. You'll die." She giggled excitedly. "I can't believe this is happening. I couldn't think of someone better than him who deserves this."
"Deserves what? And why are you dressed like that?"
"Very funny Cordy." Fred smiled. "Almost had me thinking you forgot the wedding is today."
"The wedding?" Cordy asked surprised.
"Yes silly. The day we've all been waiting for, planning for..." Fred smiled, but Cordy was still trying to figure out what was going on. "This is unbelievable. First he gets his humanity back and then he gets to marry the woman of his dreams. His love." Fred took Cordy's hands into hers.
"His humanity...? You mean Angel is getting married to..."
"The love of his life, as he said it." Fred completed the sentence. She had that dreamy look in her eyes. "It's about going to start, don't you want to take one last look in the mirror before you walk down the aisle?"
"Me? Down the aisle?" Cordy smiled, her heart was racing. Fred put her hands on Cordy's shoulders and slowly turned her around to face the mirror. "I can't believe I'm going to be Angel's..." Cordy stopped. She stared at her image in disbelief. "It's pink. I'm wearing a pink dress???"
"Of course, what did you think you'd wear? White?" Fred chuckled.
"But aren't I Angel's..."
"I know traditionally the best-man or woman in your case wears a tux." Fred cut her off. "But aren't you glad Angel chucked that tradition out the window? After all he did choose you to be by his side on his big day." Fred said with a joyful smile. "Don't worry you won't be alone, we'll all be there. I think it's the only wedding ever to have so many maid of honors and best-mans, considering the bride's side."
"The bride...?" Cordy was confused.
"Is ready and willing." Cordy turned to see who spoke although she had some idea by now. There she was wearing the most beautiful wedding dress Cordy had ever seen, actually it looked a lot like Cordy's dream dress, the one she'd been fantasizing about since she was 12. Her hair was perfect, her makeup flawless. She looked like a princess.
"Oh Buffy you look so beautiful." Fred said in a gushy tone. A soft tear ran down Cordy's cheek. "Oh look, she's crying," Fred said wiping away a tear. She put her arm around Cordy. "Isn't she a vision?"
"I hope the groom will think so." Buffy said in anticipation.
"Oh he will, he will." Willow, who stood beside her also wearing a lilac colored dress, said. "It's time, lets go." Buffy left the room followed by Willow.
"Come on Cordy, let's go." Fred called out to her. "Cordy... Cordy... Cordy..."
~~~
She heard someone call out her name. "What? I'm here we can start." She jumped up. She looked around confused. She was sitting in her bed, still fully dressed with the clothes she wore before.
"Okay if you say so." Fred said with a smile.
"What?" Cordy turned to see Fred sitting on the bedside. "Fred, what happened?"
"You fell asleep. And you said to wake you up around 20:00..."
"I was dreaming." She said almost to make sure. "It's 20:00 already? Has Angel returned?"
"Not yet." Fred replied. "Do you want to go back to sleep?"
"No I think I'll have a quick shower." Cordy tried getting up, but she found it difficult. She felt so heavy.
"Cordy? What's wrong?" Fred asked when she saw Cordy's expression. Cordy slowly removed the covers to reveal her enlarged belly. "Oh my god!" Fred said in shock.
"This can't be happening." Cordy started to cry.
"I'll go get Wes. Just stay here." Fred rushed out leaving Cordy in her bed crying in despair.
***
He started walking down the corridor; running was more like it. Time was against him. Suddenly he flinched and stopped. Mirrors surrounded him, he didn't remember seeing them before. But that wasn't what surprised him. The big surprise was that he saw his own reflection. But the reflections were not of him, they were of events, things that happened to him, things he'd done. He could hear every one of them, see them all. They all had one thing in common; they were all things he was ashamed of. 'Dream on, schoolgirl...your boyfriend is dead.' Angel flinched with each step he took. He saw all of Angelus' victims, all of the things he has done. "It's not you." He kept saying to himself. "Not you". Suddenly he stopped. He stood before a mirror that didn't show him at all, it showed Spike, lying on the floor in the hall, bleeding waiting for the sun to rise. Then the image changed into Spike fighting along with Buffy helping her. "Damn it, Spike. You had to play the hero." Angel turned and ran back. As he was reaching the entrance to the corridor all the mirrors vanished. He reached the opening to find Spike lying on the ground.
"Go on already, there's not enough time." Spike yelled at him. Angel peeped out and looked at the hourglass, it was the same as when he walked into the corridor, as if time stood still.
"I've already been there, and I'm not going back without you." Angel said and before Spike had a chance to respond, he limped forward dogging the wooden stake and landing on the floor beside Spike. "Now, we're going to do this together, and don't argue with me, I hate when you do that." Angel supported Spike who leaned on him.
"Is that all you hate about me?" Spike teased.
"Yeah right." Angel chuckled. "On the count of three you are going to take the biggest leap of your life, just imagine there's money on the other side. You like that don't you?"
"Or I can imagine Buffy waiting for me in open..."
"What ever works for you." Angel cut him off. "Ready?" Spike nodded and Angel began to count, "1, 2, threeee."
***
They both leaped together, but the weirdest thing was that nothing happened. They made it through without any stake thrown at they're direction.
"Imagine that?" Spike smiled. "Those powers have a kinky way of thinking. I like that."
"Listen Spike before we go on, you may see thing you don't want to see, so just keep walking and..."
"Bloody hell, I can see my own reflection." Spike stared at the mirrors.
"It's okay, just ignore it." Angel said avoiding eye contact with the mirrors, although he could hear everything.
"Why should I? I'm quite dashing, you know." Spike said in vain.
"What are you talking about?" Angel stopped staring at the mirrors seeing the same things he saw before.
"I'm talking about how good I look, even with this wound, which for some reason don't seem to hurt anymore." Spike smiled, admiring himself.
"You mean you see your own image?" Angel asked confused.
"Duh... isn't that what you're se..." Spike stopped realizing it wasn't. "What are you seeing?"
"Never mind. Lets keep walking." Angel kept on.
"Come on Angy, you can tell me." Spike pushed on.
"Let it go alright." Angel tried ignoring him.
"Is it a flashback to all the bad one night stands you had?" Spike chuckled. "Or is it images of me and Buffy doing the nasty that got you all..."
"Shut up Spike, just shut up." Angel pushed him on one of the mirrors. Suddenly the mirror began to crack and then it fell to pieces.
"Great, now look what you've done." Spike looked around and it wasn't his reflection he saw anymore it was Angel's. He now understood what Angel was seeing. "Angel you're..."
"Just ignore it." Angel said and kept walking. Spike followed, now that the pain returned, he walked slower than before. With each step they took Spike couldn't believe he was actually feeling sorry for Angel.
"And I thought I've seen the worst you've done." Spike said quietly. "It's like, Angel here's your life." Spike stopped and looked at one image in particular. "Is that your son?" Spike asked. "Oh look how you hurt her feelings, telling her her acting stinks. What? Angelus can't lie?"
"Look." Angel stopped walking and turned to face Spike. "I'm not proud of what I've done, but this is not me. This is Angelus in all his glory. So you can keep on mocking me, I don't care. Cause I know it's not me and I can handle..."
"Really?" Spike asked. "So, is that Angelus as well?" Spike pointed to the mirror behind Angel.
"They're all Angelus I told you..." Angel turned to realize it wasn't Angelus he was seeing. 'Angel, please. People are going to die...."
"And yet, somehow, I just can't seem to care.'
"It's not, is it?" Spike said in satisfaction.
"That was different, those were lawyers from hell." Angel tried to rationalize his actions.
"So that makes it okay?" Spike kept walking and Angel followed.
"No it doesn't, but I had my reasons." Angel said in his defense.
"And what were your reasons for that little act." Spike pointed to the mirror to his left. "Hey! No! You can't take this, I-I-I'm in the middle of it. Here, take this one...."
"Don't make me move you..."
"I don't even know what you are anymore..."
"I'm a vampire. Look it up."
"I don't have to justify myself to you." Angel said in anger.
"Apparently you do, cause in case you haven't noticed we've been going for quite awhile and there's no end in sight." Angel looked towards the end of the corridor, which seemed the same distance as it was when they entered. "I guess they're trying to tell us something and time is running out."
"Actually it's not." Angel corrected him. "Time moves differently here, or not move at all is more accurate."
"So unless we do whatever it is we're suppose to do, we'll never leave this place?" Spike already knew the answer. "Great."
"I don't know why I'm supposed to explain my actions to you?" Angel asked confused.
"I think it's more a case of explaining it to yourself." Angel didn't follow. "You're feeling guilty, not just for what Angelus did, but for what you did as well."
"I asked forgiveness and received it." Angel said quietly.
"And I can't believe I'm actually saying this; but have you forgiven yourself?" Spike played the shrink.
"Are you analyzing me? How come there are no images of your awful deeds of the past?" Angel was getting angry.
"Cause I don't feel guilty for what I did, as a vampire with a soul or a vampire without one. That's not to say I haven't done some questionable thing myself. I have. You know it better than anyone. But I don't torment myself over it. I had a bit of rough time a little while back dealing with this whole soul thing. But I got over it, while you on the other end, kept on brooding and brooding and brooding some more."
"That what makes me a man?" Angel said.
"No Angel. That what makes you a miserable man. What can I say? You got the bad part of the soul thing, with the curse and all. And cause of that you spent too long brooding when you should have been living."
"What? Isn't there anything you regret? Anything you're ashamed of? Something you wish you could have done differently?" As Angel finished his question the image in the mirror before them changed and now it showed Spike. "What's that?" Angel looked at the mirror in front of him. "Is that Buffy in the shower... what the hell are you doing there?" Spike lowered his head knowing what's coming up next. "What?" Angel yelled in shock. "You little..." Angel was just about to hit him when the image changed into a different one. This one showed Spike being stabbed and thrown down from a tower. "When was this?" Angel asked confused.
"About two years ago." Spike replied. "It was the night Buffy... well when she..."
"Died." Angel said realizing he saw the last minutes of the battle. He saw Buffy rescuing Dawn, by sacrificing herself and saw Spike crying over her dead body. Then the image shifted to Spike protecting Dawn from the demon motorcyclists. "You kept her safe?" Angel asked surprised
"I made a promise..." Spike said. And then the image changed again. 'Uh ... I do remember what I said. The promise. To protect her. If I had done that ... even if I didn't make it ... you wouldn't have had to jump... But I want you to know I did save you. Not when it counted, of course, but ... after that. Every night after that. I'd see it all again ... do something different. Faster or cleverer, you know? Dozens of times, lots of different ways... Every night I save you.' Angel stared in silence as the images faded away. "I don't get how you can love her so deeply and hurt her so painfully." Angel said.
"And I don't get how you could have let her go, to begin with."
"I didn't let her go" Angel cut him off. "She...", but Spike ignored him and kept on.
"But not really let her go." Spike finished off. "The conclusion, Angel my dear, is that we both did unspeakable things, with and without a soul, and we both have different ways to deal with it. You repress while I take it out on someone."
"That's not what I do." Angel objected to Spike's assumption.
"The point is, you have to let go of the past, just like I have."
"Did you really Spike? Did you really put it behind you?" Angel asked in skepticism.
"As much as I could, but never completely. To remind myself what I'm capable of, what we're all capable of." There was a moment of silence and suddenly they found themselves standing in a small chamber. In the middle they saw a rounded table and on top of it they saw a key.
"Finally." Angel said and reached out for the key.
"Angel wait..." Spike tried to warn him but it was too late a metal bar came shooting down from the ceiling went straight throw his arm and pinned to the floor.
"Awww!" Angel screamed in pain. He looked at his hand realizing he's stuck. "Try to move the bar." He said to Spike, who leaned down and tried pulling the bar out, but he was too weak and the bar was pinned to the floor tight and didn't budge.
"I can't. It's too far into the floor." Spike said.
Angel looked up and saw the hourglass standing before him. The sand had almost ran out, there were only a few minutes left. "There's not enough time." Angel said. "Take the key from my hand and opened the door. Get the answers we need."
"If I leave you here..." Spike started to say but was interrupted by Angel.
"I know, but there's no other way. I'm stuck. You're not. There's too much on the line."
"Angel I can't just leave you here, not after what you did for me. Besides Buffy will kill me."
"You said you have no regrets right? That you feel no regret? So, this should be a piece of cake for you. It's not like we're best friends or something." Angel twitched in pain.
"That's one thing no one can ever call us." Spike smiled.
"Spike please." Angel begged. "The sand is almost done, please, help her. She needs us to help her." Spike looked at the hourglass realizing Angel was right, there was only a few seconds left.
"No regrets." He whispered to Angel as he took the key from his hand.
"No regrets." Angel replied. Spike went around the table and opened the door. A bright light came towards him and he was pulled in.
***
TBC
Hi ppl,
You guys are the best. Thank you so much for reviewing it made my day... heck my week. So did you like this chapter?
I got some remark concerning the way I made Buffy and Willow seem petty and cruel. "Out of character" was a phrase some used. I read it again and again and although I don't think it was that bad, I thought I might have went over bard so in the next chapter I mellowed it down a bit and showed how they both felt sorry for the way they acted. Still some of you thought it wasn't enough, and that's fine. I except all reviews and love them all. I'll try to take it into consideration.
As I hope you noticed I found someone to replace Kelly, since she's still sick. His name is Nisus and he was kind enough to volunteer for the job and rescue you all from my horrible re-proofing, so a big thanks to Nisus.
Don't forget to send me a review and let me know what you thought of this chapter.
Thanks Nikka.