A/N: Sorry this took so long. I blame it on the English 10 kids and their book reviews that were due this week. This chapter takes place after the funeral of Eddie's mom. I purposely have Harm out of uniform in this chapter and Mac in uniform. I see Mac as needing to wear her uniform to show people that she's done something with her life and she's not just Joe Mackenzie's daughter and Chris Ragle's wife.


Disclaimer: I don't own JAG and after seeing "AGBF" I'm more a little more trusting in DPB's ownership than I have been since the first episodes of season 8.


Clancy's Restaurant

Queen Creek, Arizona

1211 hours

02/14/2004


Harm pulls the car into the parking lot of the restaurant and parks.


"How you doing?"


"Hanging in there. Thank you for asking."


"Good. So why are they having a luncheon here?"


"Two reasons. One, Cindy inherited the restaurant from her father. Two, Cindy always said she wanted a wake. A funeral was okay by her as long as she got a wake too. This is Mike's way of doing that."


"Makes sense."


By this time we're in the door and I immediately head over to talk to Mike. I didn't have time before the service; Jimmy's diaper leaked and we had to bathe and change him before we could leave.


"Sarah?" Mike holds out his hands to hug me, which I immediately step into.


"Hi, Mike." He holds me out at arms' length and looks at me.


"Look at you! A Marine Lieutenant Colonel. You've done good kiddo."


"Thanks. I'm sorry about Cindy."


"Thank you, I miss her but she's in a better place and with Eddie now. Who's this little cutie?" He gestures toward Jimmy.


"Mike. This is my friend Harm and one of our wards, Jimmy." Mike and Harm shake hands.



"One of your wards? How many do you have?" I hesitate because I'm not sure if I should count Mattie or not, since technically only Harm's her guardian. Before I can reach a decision Harm makes if for me.


"Three total. AJ is four and a half and Mattie is fifteen. They're back in Virginia with a friend."

It makes me feel good to hear Harm talk about "us."


"Good for you. And it's nice to meet you, Harm and Jimmy. Sarah, why don't you 3 find a seat and I'll come talk to you later?"


"Okay." Harm leads me over to a table and I sit down. He hands me Jimmy and then heads off to find us something to drink and Jimmy something to gum. He's gone for five minutes and I'm starting to wonder when where he's at when he returns with two bottles of root beer and some Cheerios.


"Where'd you get the Cheerios?"


"I ran into your friend, Olivia, she got them out of the kitchen for me when I told her what I was looking for."


"That was nice of her." Jimmy immediately starts reaching for the cereal. I give him a few pieces which he alternates between playing with and attempting to eat.


I spend the next two hours talking to Olivia, Mike and a couple of others from my teenage years. Mike was always more like a dad to me than my dad, of course that also describes Uncle Matt, Admiral Cheggwidden and if I'm being honest John Farrow at least to some degree.


There aren't many other people here for me to talk to but it doesn't bother me. I came because I felt I needed to for Eddie. Most of the people that Eddie, Chris and I hung out with are either dead, in jail, or incapable of showing Mike the support he needs right now. Of course the parents of some of my old friends are in attendance as well as some of the 'upstanding citizens' that did so little to help my mother when my father was beating her.


See I lived in this town for years. We moved here when my father got out of the Marines. I think he liked the fact it wasn't near a military base and it was away from where Uncle Matt was stationed. After my mom left, I started drinking and married Chris in an attempt to get away from my life. The thing was I couldn't escape it and my attempts just confirmed the town's people's beliefs about me. My attempts to escape actually made things worse, I became what I was trying to escape. I think the reason I was so nervous about this trip is I was afraid of being confronted with those perceptions again. I've spent years running from them without even realizing that's what I was doing. Until recently my life's been about trying to prove that I'm not my parents and I'm not the worthless drunk wife of someone who'd never be more than a crook.


"Sarah Mackenzie." I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I can do this.



"Mr. Mass, how are you?"


'What are you doing here?" Harm tenses up at this comment. He realizes that this isn't going to be like my reunion with Mike and Olivia.


"I came to say goodbye to Cindy."


"After all the time you've been gone. Who's this your latest drinking buddy?" Harm's hand is in mine and I give it a gentle squeeze. I see both Mike and Olivia headed this way. I'd rather handle this without their help if I can.


"This is my friend Harm."


"Interesting name. Don't you know this isn't a costume party?"


"This is my uniform. I'll have you know I'm a Lieutenant Colonel in the Marines and a lawyer for the Judge Advocate General of the Navy."


"You! Stupid little Sarah Mackenzie! You just barely finished high school the only way you'd have gotten a college degree is if you bought it." By this time I'm standing so close to the man we're practically touching noses. Harm; Olivia and Mike are standing nearby waiting to intervene if necessary


"Did you ever think that my grades had nothing to do with a lack of intelligence? I grew up with a father who drank constantly, told me I was stupid and beat my mother regularly and my mother left without me on my fifteenth birthday. My own attempts to escape led me to the bottle and Chris Ragle. Maybe I didn't do that well in school because with all the energy staying alive required I didn't have any energy left for school! If you'd been doing your job as a teacher and administrator maybe, it wouldn't have taken Eddie dying and my uncle forcing me to dry out to turn things around."


I take a deep breath and feel Harm take my hand and give it a gentle squeeze. Mr. Mass is just looking at me in shock. I prepare myself for his comeback when Mike speaks up.


"You know I don't think this is an appropriate place for this conversation."


"Fine but I'd love to know how Sarah managed to have a kid without FAS."


~Whack~ I just punched one of my old high school teachers. Judging by the amount of blood I might have broken his nose.


"Oh gee Cody it looks like you're going to need to go get that looked at. Tony will drive you to the hospital. You really should be more careful." Olivia chatting at the guy like nothing out of the ordinary just happened as she leads him to the door and motions for Tony.


"More careful?"


"Well yeah, you really shouldn't walk into doors like that." Harm and I just look at each other and laugh.


"Sarah, I'm really sorry about that. I'd like to talk to you some more but I'll understand if you need to leave." Harm looks at me and I can see his answer to my unspoken question in his eyes.


"I think we can stay for a while longer."


"I'm so glad."