Chapter 19: The Next Step
"I can't believe it," Lily marveled after she had pried the whole story from Remus later that day. It took the family a few minutes to get over the shock of seeing Petunia walk out with him. "I have been trying and trying for years and you just walk in and offer a handkerchief?"
Remus looked thoughtfully at Petunia who was talking civilly to Revera and Alice at the other end of the room. He had noticed that she still generally steered clear of James and Sirius.
"I could be wrong," he said slowly. "But it seems that your sister likes order and control. Magic would mean that you have some kind of power over her. It can be a bit scary."
"Whereas when I walked in, I was lost in Muggle kitchen. So, I looked much less frightening. At least, that's what I think, he added doubtfully.
"You could be right," Lily said seriously. The first summer home from Hogwarts, she had turned Petunia's teacup into a rat. "I guess I could have been more sensitive." If Remus was right, then the next step would be to show Petunia that magic from a responsible user was nothing to fear. Perhaps the gap between them wasn't impossible to bridge. "Thanks, Remus." She leaned over to kiss his cheek.
"Hands off, Moony," James said amiably as he came up to them.
Raising his eyebrows a fraction, Remus said smoothly, "Should we duel perhaps?"
"I think that will tax too much of their hospitality," James grinned. " WE, no, I might bring down the walls." He glanced at a corner of the living room where Sirius was teaching Mr. Evans Exploding Snap. The older man seemed to be enjoying himself – and the Butterbeer that Alice had brought.
"Speaking of which, do you mind if I leave for a while tomorrow morning? There's something I have to do while I can find the…will ..to."
Lily looked concerned. "Is everything alright, Remus?" Silly question, she immediately thought. Everything was obviously not alright.
"Its fine. I just need to attend to something I've been putting off for along time," Remus replied with a smile. "I should be back for lunch."
"Yeah, I'm sure you would," James interjected smirking.
"Oh sure," Lily said doubtfully " You are free to come and go, you know."
"I just thought you should know," Remus said. He looked around. Mrs Evans was showing Peter some family pictures, laughing when he shook the album trying to make the figures move. "Your home is lovely – and your family is wonderful. It feels like the Gryffindor common room now, though."
Comfortably settled against James' shoulder, Lily felt a long-gone yet familiar peace. Maybe a marriage of magic and Muggle can work. She closed her eyes. "Lovely," she echoed softly.
The house Remus was directed to by Arabella Figg looked neat and well taken care of. Flowers in the garden bloomed in a well-organised riot. His father, he remembered, loved gardening.
Chances are, he thought, this is the right house. He used to give Mother the first spring blooms.
It was that thought that kept his steps from faltering as he walked up to the front door. The first sharp knocks produced no reaction.
Remus' hand was poised to knock again when the door swung open.
He stared into a face that would have been his if he had not wandered into a forest ten years previously.
Gray eyes so like his own widened.
"Hello Father," he said calmly.
Around the perimeter of the neighbourhood, deserted in early morning, light pops accompanied the materialization of a number of cloaked forms.
One of them traced a mark on his wrist.
"Its almost time," he said.
His father gripped the doorknob as if making to slam it shut.
"I wouldn't do that," Remus suggested mildly. "I can always Apparate in and it might shock your "
"Who is it?" asked a female voice. A gorgeously rumpled blonde girl came up behind his father, putting an arm around his waist. She peered at Remus suspiciously. "You look very familiar."
If that's who he left us for, he didn't get a prize, Remus thought uncharitably.
"This is er…my second cousin," his father found his voice. "Remus, this is Paula."
"Pleased to meet you," Remus said automatically. Paula looked from one man to another.
"Ooo..I see, you look just like Johnnie!," she squealed, as it was a groundbreaking discovery. His father looked mildly embarrassed.
"Sweetpea, why don't you do up and change? There's something Remus and I need to talk about in private," he said.
Her mouth twisted in a becoming pout but she did not argue and left. Remus was rather sorry to see her go. She added a ridiculous element to the family reunion that took some of the tension off.
"Come in," invited his father briefly, leading him past a brightly decorated living room to an equally vivid kitchen. "We will be more comfortable here."
Tangerine is a colour Mother would never use.
"Tea?" his father offered. Remus merely nodded, unsure now of what to say; his mentally rehearsed speech gone. His father rummaged about for tea leaves and switched on a Muggle-style kettle adeptly. Water took quite a long time to boil, Remus noticed idly, waiting for steam to stream out of the spout.
"What are you doing here, Remus?" his father burst out.
"I wish I knew," he sighed softly. "You look quite well."
"I am, thank you. How are Revera and … your mother?" he asked politely.
"Very well, thank you," Remus said, aware that he was stretching the truth. "What do you do now?"
"I teach. English Language," he smiled rather ruefully. "Quite a step down, don't you think?"
"No," he answered truthfully.
His father turned back to the now-whistling kettle. "You didn't come to make small talk, did you? Just tell me what you came for."
"You sound so anxious to be rid of me," Remus remarked, fighting for calm.
"Well..I happen to like living like a Muggle," he said. "And well…having you here is not exactly…"
"Would that be because of I am a wizard or because of my lycanthropy?"
"Neither," he replied. "I…why do you think I left? The wizarding world is being forced into small pockets, hiding out, hanging on and on to the past. Muggles are so much more dynamic…ingenious really, how they survived without magic. People are on the move, experimenting with everything, even hairstyles and clothes. Wizards have been wearing the same things since Godric Gryffindor."
"Somehow, I doubt you left because your fashion sense was offended," Remus said drily.
"Blast it, Remus, don't be obtuse. That's not what I meant at all," his father snapped. "I left because I wanted to live in a different society and with a more … comfortable person than your Mother. She can be quite trying at times. You didn't see us quarrel almost everyday when you left for school, mostly over my pouring money into trying to find a cure for you, I might add…"
"What did you say?" Remus could hardly believe his ears.
His father seemed to belated realize the implications of his words. "I didn't mean to make it seem tat it was your fault. Look, I left because I was miserable. I couldn't help you. It all got too much. I had to get away. Its simpler here."
"And what about us?" Remus asked softly.
His father just stared at him, the tea forgotten. "There was nothing I could do for you."
Remus stood up. He didn't realize until that point why he felt compelled to search for his missing father.
"You asked me why I came," he began evenly. "I couldn't put it in words at first. Now, I can . I looked for you because I cared…because it mattered what happened to you. You built me the room, you stayed with me when I was scared, you went all out to get me into Hogwarts. You truly cared then."
"I made the mistake of thinking that was still true."
He paused, his hand on the back door. "That's all really. Goodbye."
He thought he heard his father call after him as he shut the door quietly but he didn't turn back.
" He's out. Set the wards up within a two metre radius," ordered the masked figure.
Unwilling to go back to his friends yet, Remus wandered aimlessly down the street to a small empty playground. He didn't realize until that point how much he had cherished the idea of having his family back caring for each other.
"Families are nothing but people who share the same name,: he recalled Sirius saying once. Perhaps there was nothing sacred about the ties of blood.
A sudden tingle ran down his spine.
Danger, the wolf inside him warned.
Remus could see or hear noting yet the danger signal was too strong to ignore. He closed his eyes and concentrate on Apparating to Lily's.
Nothing happened. He remained where he was.
Careless, careless human.