Drum roll

Chappie FOUR! Yay

Dedicate this to all theother parodies on this site because they rule, and you reviewers. :D

I disclaim everything. Although I willsteal Libby's soul someday soon, mwaha.

The Miserable Prison

Libby woke blearily to the sounds of whistles and "Here, doggy, nice doggy," and "COME HERE YOU MUTT!'

"You can keep doing that forever, that dog is never going to move," She heard Jack say boredly.

"And why would that be?" the other prisoners retorted.

"Considering that you've been coaxing it for the last five hours..."

Libby got up. She was in the same cell as Jack. They had taken her for a pirate! This sort of thing was probably more of a Meg-type thing. (Yesh, Yours Truly. )

"Up now, are you?" Jack nodded at her.

"Little runty pirate," the other prisoners snickered.

"That's Miss Runty Pirate to you," Libby snapped.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," The prisoner looked scared.

Outside, some guns went off, and there was the sound of blasting and swearing and more blasting, and a thunk, then Norrington going "OW!" and more swearing.

"The Black Pearl!" Libby gasped.

Jack glanced at her, surprised. "How'd you kn-?"

"I hear there aren't ever any survivors where that ship raids," a prisoner said.

"Wonderful and cheerful," Libby said.

"Where do they get the stories from, then?" Jack said smugly.

"People like him," Libby grinned.

Jack was amused. The prisoner scowled.

"I'm not making up stories!" he said hotly.

Then a big cannonball burst through the wall of their cell. ("Pardon me," said a prisoner sheepishly) and they whooped and escaped.

Jack and Libby, however, were still trapped.

"Fantastic," Jack muttered. He looked out where the dog was sitting.

Only before he could be a hypocrite, the dog swallowed the key and ran off, barking joyfully.

Jack swore.

Libby was about to say some comforting words when two guys came.

"Well, well, well!" said one pirate. "Jack Sparrow, isn't it?"

"Yes he is Jack Sparrow but we are not well at all," Libby spat at them.

"You can say that again, lass," Jack laughed hollowly.

The two guys stared. "That runt be a lass?"

"Yes I be... I mean yes I am!" Libby said furiously. She was getting sick of this gender confusion.

The two pirates looked terrified and ran off.

"Hell," Jack said, laughing.

"You know nothing of hell," Libby muttered.

It could hardly be considered hell; she was going to be locked in the same jail cell as Captain Jack Sparrow until next morning.

"How'd you know that was the Black Pearl?" Jack raised his eyebrows, which disappeared into his red bandanna.

All right. Say something impressive now and get him to admire her for ever!

"I just know," Libby said proudly.

"Right."

"Er, I mean, I know everything," she added mysteriously.

That did the trick.

"Do you, now," Jack gave his grin. He surveyed this weird kid. "Are you a witch then?"

"Yeah, totally." Then Libby remembered about how sarcasm wasn't really going to get her anywhere, and how the olden-day people were supposed to believe and fear witches. "All right, I'm kidding. I just know lots of things."

"Are you even a pirate?" Jack demanded.

"No," said Libby.

"How'd you end up in the harbour?"

"What's this, twenty questions?"

"Not quite, love. Just four."

Libby was tempted for him to repeat that. Especially the love.

"OK. I'll start from the beginning. I was watching this movie, right."

"In English please." Jack was mildly quizzical.

A world without films was a difficult one indeed. "Oh man, how do I explain this..."

"So you can't do it in English," Jack smirked.

"Yes I can! To put it shortly, I whacked my head and ended up swimming." Libby said exasperatedly.

"So you were thrown overboard," Jack deducted.

"I wasn't even on a ship. I was... I was... I was... I was in a perfectly safe dry building."

"Only you were knocked out," Jack said dryly. "That is indeed jolly. So now I could be a figment of your imagination."

"You could be," Libby nodded. Always the philosophical one.

"I appreciate that." Jack looked sulky. He leaned against the wall and closed his eyes.

"Don't cry," Libby was bewildered.

"I'm not crying!!!!" Jack's outlined eyes snapped open.

"Sure you're not."

"Go to sleep."

"You're not my babysitter."

Jack looked extremely irritated. "Listen, love, why don't I just knock you out?"

"All right! Don't kill me." Libby hastily nestled into a corner.

"Good."

-

"You! Pirates!"

Libby woke again for the third time this parody. Will Turner was staring at them behind the bars.

"Will Turner!" Libby gasped, remembering that she wasn't in a studio.

"Oh, that's your name, is it?" Jack smiled. "Named after your dad, eh?"

"That's right, you." Will scowled at Jack.

"Captain Jack Sparrow." Jack corrected.

"Whatever! Tell me where that ship's headed."

"Well get me out first and I'll show you."

"I'm not going to help scum like you," Will snarled.

"Will! Please," Libby begged. The whole story seemed to be going wrong, slowly but surely.

"Mr. Bloom," Willrounded on Libby crossly.

"That would be Miss Runty Pirate," Jack corrected.

Will stared. "I thought you said you were Orlando –?"

"Just get us the hell out of here!" Libby said, now extremely annoyed.

Now absolutely nonplussed and a little scared, Will said "OK, then," dazedly and did as he was told.

I would like you all to bear in mind that Libby doesn't really look like a boy.

(Above message was for my own mortal wellbeing.)

Keep the reviews coming!!