Okay in my little alternate universe the episode with Mac killing Sadik happened. The problems afterwards happen. The whole thing with Clay doesn't happen. (While I need to lose a few pounds, I have no desire to do so by making myself sick!)

Disclaimer and other info in part 1 but just a reminder:If I owned JAG, Webb wouldn't have been tortured almost to death. He'd have been tortured to death!

Mac's office
1300 hours
4/1/2004

I don't believe this! I absolutely don't believe this! The nerve of that man! He says I'm having problems dealing with things, this from the man who snapped at everyone and everything when he broke up with Meredith. He's the poster boy for problems dealing with things!

So what if I'm a little snappy? I killed a man last week. I think I'm entitled. The man should be thanking me, not making me take me leave until I get some counseling.

~Knock, Knock~

"Enter."

"Hey, Mac. What happened in with the Admiral?"

"He put me on leave until I see a shrink."

"Oh, okay."

Okay! Okay! What does he mean by that crack?

"What do you mean okay? You think I'm cracking up? Is that what you're trying to say?"

"No, Mac that's not what I'm trying to say."

"Well than what are you saying?"

"Power down for a second and I'll tell you."

"I was worried he was going to bring charges or something. I'm not surprised he ordered counseling. Isn't that standard procedure?"

"Well yeah, but why order me to take leave?"

Harm chuckles.

"What's so funny flyboy?" I growl.

"Ordering you to take leave would be the fastest way to get you to go to counseling. A couple of days at home and you'll have cabin fever so bad you'll be looking forward to the counseling session."

"Well I'm not going to go for any damn counseling. I've done fine dealing with things on my own in the past I can handle this too!"

Harm just shakes his head.

"You have a strange definition of doing fine, Mac." Harm fires as his parting shot and then turns and leaves without saying another word.

I continue to toss things in my briefcase so that I can get out of here before I have another run in with the admiral.

Harm and Mac's House
2000 hours
4/1/2004

It's time for the boys' bath. Since he worked late, Harm's still eating dinner so I head for the living room to get the boys.

"It's eight o'clock. Bath time boys."

AJ looks up from his toys.

"No!"

I see red. Before I even realize what I'm doing. I'm across the living room and I've picked AJ up and smacked him on the bottom, hard. AJ starts screaming the minute I pick him up off the floor.


"Mac!"

"What?"

"Why don't you take a minute to relax and I give the boys their bath?"

That arrogant . . .

"Uncle Harm!" AJ runs over and hides behind Harm's legs.

That one action calms me down more effectively than a bucket of cold water in my face.

"That's a good idea. I'll be upstairs."

"Okay, we'll come tell you good night."

Harm picks Jimmy up and the three of them head upstairs. Once they're out of the room I drop to a chair and take a couple of relaxing breaths. I then head to the kitchen to make a couple of phone calls.

Ten minutes later I head to my room to pack.

"What are you doing, Mac?"

"What does it look like, Harm? I'm packing."

"Talk to me, Mac. What's going on? You running?"

"Not really."

"Okay then what are you doing?" Harm's sounding angry.

I stop what I'm doing and turn to face him. I take a deep breath to calm my nerves. I'm sure Harm's going to argue with me and try to keep me here.

"I decided that the admiral's right, I am doing a damn lousy job of pretending nothing happened. I will talk to a counselor but I'm not ready yet. I have a plane ticket for Arizona for tomorrow morning and I'll be back on Monday. I have an appointment with a shrink at Betheseda Tuesday morning. Hopefully by then I'll be ready to talk."

"Heading to Red Rock Mesa?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, sounds like a plan. You need a ride to the airport tomorrow?"

I just stare at him.

"Mac?"
I mentally shake myself. "A ride would be wonderful, my flight leaves at 0830. Aren't you going to argue with me?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"You have a plan for dealing with what's happened. I understand that going to Red Rock Mesa and being alone is part of that plan. It's like when I go flying to get a handle on things."

He gets it. He actually understands.

"Thanks Harm."

"You're welcome. You want to come tell the boys goodnight."

"Yeah, I need to talk to AJ. Do you think he'll understand why I'm going away?"

"Just tell him it's for work, because in a way it is."

"Works for me. Let's tuck the boys in."