Pompey

I must down to the seas again, for the call of the running tide,
Is a wild call and a clear call that may not be denied.

John Masefield

'All three of you?'

'Yes, Ma'am. We'd make a great team, don't you think?'

Captain Lowther let her hands fall onto the desk with a thump. A paper fluttered in the out-tray. 'Moon, you are incorrigible!' Funny. That was exactly what my teachers used to say.

'But, Ma'am...'

'Yes, Avon?'

'Patterson and I will look after Sunny... Driver Moon.'

'I've no doubt you will. However, that is not your job. Driver Moon should be capable of looking after herself.'

'I can look after myself!'

'With a little help.' Thank you, Nancy.

'You and that ridiculous sword?' I flushed. Perhaps it would have been better to have left it in the dormitory instead of hanging it from my belt.

'Yes, Ma'am.'

The Captain ignored me. 'Avon, Patterson, thank you for coming to see me. I am very glad that you have volunteered for these special duties. Both of you are, I am convinced, sufficiently capable and mature to acquit yourself well. Now; you are not the only crew-members to have volunteered for overseas service. I must talk to the others too.' Four or five girls had been ahead of us in the queue at the Captain's office door and another eight or nine were still waiting outside.

'Again, thank you. I will post the names of those whom I have selected on the notice-board at six o'clock.'

'But what about me?' I said.

Captain Lowther sighed, and her Deuteronomy shook his head. 'No, Driver Moon. You are too young. Far too young. So young that I could not send you abroad even if you were actually twenty-one years old, rather than only sixteen.' She looked up to Mabel and Nancy and nodded. They took the hint and left the room.

'Sit down.' I did as I was told. Captain Lowther rested her head in her hands for a moment.

'Sonya, please don't take this amiss. You're a very bright girl, and I don't doubt for a moment that you're a very brave one too. But... you've still got so much growing up left to do.'

How dare she say that! I flared up 'Ma'am! Ma'am! That's not fair! I do my job. I work just as hard as everyone else. I'm a good driver... a better one, anyway.'

'Yes, you've learned a great deal since you joined us.' The Captain ran her hands through her stiff hair. 'But you still have so much to learn...'

I stared at her. 'What, Ma'am? What have I got to learn?'

'Oh, Sonya. There's so much you don't understand yet. There is so much evil out there in the world that you don't know about...'

I wanted to say, I know. I've seen it, but I didn't want to tell her about the Chelsea Barracks. I'd get Mabel and Nancy into terrible trouble if I did. I thought about the young officer who'd saved me. How brave he'd been! I wondered what Captain Howard and Major Hargreaves had done to him after I'd gone. They'd have accused him of betraying them. I hoped he was all right. I'd have liked to thank him and give him a peck on the cheek.

'And Sonya, I'd hate to lose you. Please stay here with me, and let your hair grow out and start talking properly to Alpharintus again.' Deuteronomy and Captain Lowther exchanged glances.

So she'd noticed. Again I wanted to say that we would be fine so long as we could go to Frankland, but then I'd have to tell her what had happened in Chelsea, and I couldn't do that.

'Is that it then, Ma'am?

'Yes, Driver Moon, that is it. Dismissed!' I stood up and left the room, being careful not to let the door bang behind me.

Mabel and Nancy were chosen, just as I had known they would be. I was not. We all stood around the notice board, letting it sink in. Some of us looked fed-up at not being chosen. Others looked relieved, even the ones who'd volunteered. The Captain would not have been taken in by them. Why had they put themselves forward if they didn't want to go?

Shame, said Alfie. It's no substitute for courage. I should know.

Silly daemon. I love you just the same. Now, shush!

Mabel and Nancy walked away from the notice board and I joined them. The others watched us. Some of them patted my friends on the shoulder as they passed. 'Come on,' I said. 'Pub's open!'

We sat on a bench in the corner by the pub door and drank quinine and jenniver with lots of ice.

'Jolly old QJs,'said Mabel, putting down her second glass. I signalled to the barmaid to come over and serve us. We'd come to an arrangement with the landlord of the Broker's Arms. He wouldn't refuse to let us into his pub if we'd agree not to go up to the bar and demand service. I'm sure he still thought we were ladies of dubious repute, even though we didn't dress that way. Nor, the last time I heard, did streetwalkers wear Brigade uniform or sing rugby songs.

I thought briefly of Jessie, whom I'd met on my first day in London. Would she think any more of me now than she had then? Somehow I doubted it.

'Do you know when you're leaving?' I asked.

'Tuesday,' Nancy answered. It was Sunday evening now. Only another whole day, then.

'I've been rostered with Maureen Wareham and Julia Matravers.'

'That's nice,' said Mabel. 'They're good, very good. I've worked with them. You'll learn a lot from them, if you listen to what they tell you and keep your eyes open.'

'That's what everyone says.'

'They're right.'

'I know. But...'

'Yes?'

'But... you know.' I took a hefty swig of jenniver and held Alfie close to my heart, for comfort.

'Yes, Sunny. I know.'

'We'll write to you, sweetheart.'

'I know you will. But it'll be on those awful official postcards, won't it? "I am / am not well. Cross out that which does not apply." All that stuff.'

'Yes, I suppose it will. Only officers are allowed to write proper uncensored letters.'

'And we're not officers. Hooray!'

'Cheers,' I said, and lifted my glass. My sword rattled against the side of the bench.

Dear Gerry,

Mabel and Nancy leave tomorrow morning. They've got to be at Agincourt Station by ten o'clock to catch the Pompey train. Then they muster up with the rest of the Advance Brigade and embark at six for Frankland.

Of course I know that's not how it'll really work. You told me all about that before. Best laid plans, and all that. Even in the Senior Service! So they've laid in stocks of sandwiches and cake and ginger beer. We've all chipped in. You should see the way their packs bulge! They've been given the day off to get ready, so our ambulance has stayed in the yard.

As for me, it's up at six and join Maureen and Julia. I expect they'll put me on scrubbing duties.

All my love,

Sunny

That evening I slipped out of the depot after supper and went to see the artist who'd once turned my photogram into a recruiting poster. I had a little job for him. He was intrigued by what I asked him to do, and agreed to assist me for the outrageous sum of ten pounds. I was a good thing I'd already collected that month's allowance from Coutts.

He earned his money, though. Now I look back on it I can't help thinking that I can't have been the only person he'd helped out in that particular way. I don't blame him for that, even though it was illegal. I turned to face him as Alfie and I left his top-floor flat. 'Thanks. Goodbye,' I said.

'Good luck,' he replied and closed the door silently behind him. I crept down his stairs as quietly as I could and was back in the depot by ten thirty. Not everybody was asleep but I was able to return the things I'd borrowed without anybody noticing.

Three o'clock in the morning and I still wasn't able to get to sleep. Alfie had been almost completely silent during my preparations. I didn't understand. I thought he would be talking to me more. I thought he'd approve of what I was doing. It hadn't been his idea, but even so... He could encourage me a little, couldn't he?

Courage was what I needed now, lots of it. I was shaking. I'd already been to the privy twice in the last hour. I couldn't go again, even though I wanted to. I'd wake somebody up.

Alfie, Alfie. I've got the squits.

Put a cork in it, then.

Alfie! I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Why are you being so horrible to me?

Am I?

You know you are.

And you're never nasty to me, I suppose.

I...

Never?

Hardly ever. We laughed.

That's better, I said. You know we've got to do this, don't you?

No, I don't know that.

But when I volunteered you said yes. That made me so happy, Alfie.

But the Captain said no.

I know.

And that means no.

But...

And she gave some very good reasons. Why did you volunteer, Sunny?

Because I want to help! Because I want to stick with Mabel and Nancy!

Is that really it?

Yes.

And not just to show off? You like showing off, don't you?

I... no...

And look where that got us. I can still feel it, you know. I can still feel the chain, biting into me. It burns me...

Oh, Alfie! I held him. Then, after a while he said:

Is it... is it because we want to die? Is that it?

I sat up in bed. The springs creaked, and the girl next to me muttered in her sleep.

No, Alfie! No! He pressed on mercilessly:

Is it because we want to die and be with Gerry? Like we thought was going to happen in Chelsea?

Alfie. That's not fair!

Maybe not. But is it true?

I turned over and buried my face in the pillow. Was it true? Did I want to kill myself?

It wouldn't be fair on the others. They'd try and save us. We'd be putting their lives at risk too. Letting them down.

You're right. Oh, Alfie? What are we doing? Other people - normal people - don't argue like this. I'm sure they don't. It's as if we were two separate people, not one. We weren't always like this, were we? Why can't we be together again?

Because we're special?

That must be it. Oh, hell! I was soaking the pillow with my tears, but I didn't care. Alfie lay next to me and nuzzled my ear.

But Sunny...

Yes?

So long as we love each other...

Yes. We'll get by so long as we love each other. I put my arm around him. For a moment I thought he was going to Change, but we both thought better of it.

Timing was everything. It all depended on things going wrong.

As I'd told Gerry would happen Maureen Wareham turfed me out of bed at six and sent me down to the garage to fettle our vehicle. 'Breakfast when you've finished!' she said, and waltzed off to the refectory. I muttered under my breath, but Alfie reminded me about not letting people down, so I checked the water and oil, pumped up the tyres and ran a mop over the seats and the floor in the back.

By the time I got to breakfast the place was packed. Mabel and Nancy were there with their kitbags standing in the corner so I took my usual place next to them.

'Sunny!' said Mabel. 'You're letting your hair grow again.'

'I got tired of all the funny looks,' I said. Alfie winked at Hal. I'd still be getting a few strange glances until it reached a reasonable length. Right now I wanted to scratch it.

'You're a creature of mindless fashion,' Nancy mocked. I grinned at her.

We finished breakfast and I helped them carry their bags out into the yard. 'I'll drive,' I said.

'No!' Mabel held up her arms in horror.

'You taught me everything I know, Driver Patterson,' I said. 'Hop in!'

We drove out of the yard with Captain Lowther and all the girls of the Twelfth waving their handkerchiefs behind us and cheering fit to burst.

I wanted to play fair. I'd stacked Nancy's and Mabel's bags in the back of the ambulance for them. It was our vehicle, not Maureens' and Julia's. They'd be able to set out without me. Meanwhile I'd arranged with Captain Lowther to do a pickup at Crècy Station once I'd dropped Mabel and Nancy off at Agincourt.

There was no rush, so I didn't overcook it as we crossed London. Ambulance traffic had priority, so taxis, carts, vans, private cars and autobuses pulled over to the side of the road to let us pass. I didn't even have to ring the bell.

'The Three set out,' said Nancy.

'But the One comes back,' I added.

'We'll be back, too' Mabel said. We were sitting in a row in the front of the vehicle. 'You wait and see.'

'Have you got all your papers?'

'Yes.'

'Travel warrant, identity card, order-slip?'

'Yes, yes, yes. Don't worry about us.'

'But I do. Of course I do,' I gulped, and nearly drove into the kerb. We crossed the Agincourt Bridge and looped round into the station yard. 'Hang on,' I said, jumping out. 'I'll get your things.'

I leapt up into the back and handed down the kitbags. We embraced in a great big Three Hug and then, as the taxicabs behind us were becoming impatient, I said goodbye and au revoir to my friends. It was a quarter to ten.

'Come along, miss!' said a driver, sweating in his cab. 'I haven't got all day!' Neither had I. I gave him a wave and a smile - which brightened up his day no end, I'm sure - and drove out of the yard.

To Crècy Station?

No fear!

I dumped the ambulance by the Old Adelaide theatre. I couldn't leave it too far away, because I had a lot of heavy stuff to carry. Agincourt Station is huge and it has many entrances and exits. I planned to enter the station at the opposite end from the main stairs where I had dropped Mabel and Nancy.

I hadn't planned on the station being so densely packed with people. I reached the top of the narrow staircase which leads up from the Agincourt and City line to face a solid sea of khaki. Soldiers were pushing and shoving on all sides, their daemons squealing and barking in distress. There was a definite sense of panic in the air. It soon infected Alfie and me.

The clock was standing on ten o'clock before I even found out what platform the Pompey train was due to leave from. It was ten past before I was able to fight my way to the gate, with my kitbag trailing along behind me. What if I was too late? 'Pompey?' I said to the ticket-collector. 'Is this train for Pompey?'

'That's right, miss. But this is a military train. You'll have to wait for the next civilian one. That's not until one. Move aside please, and let these people through.' He looked over my shoulder. 'Next!'

'Please, Goodsir,' I pleaded. 'I've got my papers.' I thrust a sheaf of documents in his face and held my breath. He took them from me and shuffled through them. 'Hmmm. Let's see. Driver Moon?'

'Yes, that's me.'

'For embarkation at Pompey?'

'Yes, Goodsir.'

He shook his head. My heart sank.

'Don't you know anything, miss?'

'Goodsir?'

'Don't you know to keep your order-slip out of sight? I'm not meant to see them.' He pointed to one of the documents I'd given him. 'You won't last five minutes in Frankland if you don't pay attention to your orders. I should report you to your CO. What you've done is a gross breach of national security.'

'Oh.' My face fell. This was it. I'd be sent back home in disgrace. The gateman shook his head.

'Oh, go on.' He handed me my papers. 'Get along with you.'

'Thank you, Goodsir.'

'And pay more attention in future!'

I ran onto the platform. The engine driver was blowing his whistle and the porters were slamming the doors. I threw my baggage and myself into the nearest carriage. It was full, of course.

'Hello!' said a lance-corporal with a cat-daemon and a badly scarred cheek. 'What 'ave we got 'ere?'

Oh, good heavens.

It was all right. It was perfectly all right. They couldn't have been nicer, those enlisted men with their battered faces and their unkempt daemons. One of them looked after my bag, and another gave me his seat and yet another offered me a cigarette.

'You know what?' said the lance-corporal as we settled down and the train scraped and clanked its way out of the station. 'You remind me of someone.'

'Eleanor Liss?' I asked. She was an up and coming operetta singer, dark-haired and very pretty.

'Nah! Me Auntie Gert. She had all 'er 'air cut off. Just before they sent 'er down fer petty larceny. She 'ad scabies too!'

I joined in the laughter. I couldn't help it. That's better, said Alfie.

The train crawled down the line to the coast. I shared out the food I'd saved in my bag. The soldiers offered me their corned-beef sandwiches and sugary chai. 'You need feedin' up, miss!' a shy man in the far corner said, offering me a mint humbug. It was the only thing he said all day.

We passed through Guildford, with its Great Basilica standing high on the hill overlooking the town. We trundled by the Hog's Back and then waited for ages outside Petersfield station and baked in the midday sun. I looked out of the window at a row of nasty tin huts facing on to the railway. Who lived in them, I wondered. Who spent every day of their lives in these miserable shacks; living there or working there, looking out of their mean windows at the trains passing by and wishing they could simply get on one and go away for ever and ever and ever and never have to come back?

Even to war? asked Alfie

I don't know.

I took the sword out of my kitbag and showed it to them. 'You an officer, miss?' asked a gaunt-faced private with a twitching rat-daemon.

'Me? No! But a girl's got to be able to look after herself, hasn't she? Begging your pardons, of course.' I beamed at the assembled men. 'Now, who knows how to play poker?' I pulled a pack of cards from my tunic pocket and riffled them purposefully.

By the time we reached the town of Pompey I was in profit by two boxes of matches and forty Woodbines. Not a bad result.

Pompey! I'd been here any number of times when I was a kid. Sometimes we were only passing through on the way to our holiday home on the Isle of Albany, but usually we came to look at the ships. That was Daddy's doing, mostly, but I could always tell how much Gerry was enthralled by the sight of the harbour, full of vessels large and small. A lot of them were fishing craft or day-tripper boats. We despised them, naturally. There was only one kind of ship we wanted to see. Warships!

Because Daddy was a King's Minister, but also because he had served in the Royal Navy, it only took a quiet word in the harbourmaster's ear and a steam launch would be detailed for us. We could use it for as long as we wanted - all day if we liked - and the smartly-dressed sailors who manned it enjoyed showing us around the Fleet. 'That's the old Viceroy of Serque, that is, in for a refit,' they might say as we passed under the great looming stern of a first-class battleship. Gerry would lean over the side of the boat to get a closer look. He could tell you all about each ship; how many men she carried, how many guns she bore, her range and the power of her engines, how many loaves of bread were baked each day in her ovens and which battles she had fought in. He would wave to the men on board and they would wave back to him.

Daddy would smile broadly at Gerry's obvious enthusiasm and Mummy, if she came with us, would smile too, only less so. Alfie and I would sit in the stern and admire everything we saw with equal pleasure.

Once I remember Daddy's old ship was in port. HMS Undaunted - a heavy cruiser with eight twelve-inch guns and ten torpedo tubes. She lay long and grey and low in the water; with three rakish funnels and a high wireless mast atop all, fluttering with signal flags. When we arrived at Pompey that day we found a cutter already waiting for us at the dockside. Daddy and Gerry raced down the steps and jumped aboard the boat. Mummy and I followed more slowly though my heart was thumping with excitement and I was pulling at her hand to hurry up. We cast off, dashed across the choppy harbour water to the Undaunted, and tied up next to the set of steps that was attached to the side of her hull. As we reached the top of them the boatswain's pipe trilled, and a line of officers and ratings stood ready to receive us. The captain stood at the end of the line and saluted Daddy. Daddy saluted him back and shook his hand warmly. Gerry copied him. Then the officers and men bowed to Mummy and me (I blushed bright red. I was only five or six years old and nobody had ever bowed to me before) and took us down to the wardroom, where there was a great mahogany table laden with glass, china and silver plate. It was used by the ship's surgeon as an operating table in times of war, Gerry told me gleefully. I squealed in horrified delight while mouse-formed Alfie hid in the apron pocket of my pinafore dress. We took our places and ate, and drank the King's health sitting down; our time-honoured right as seamen of the Brytish Empire and defenders of her sacred shores.

Oh Gerry! That was always going to be the life for you; going down to the sea in ships. There was never any doubt about it, was there?

The railway station was seething with soldiers, sailors and military policemen. Somewhere in the crowd were Nancy and Mabel. Better not let them see us, said Alfie.

Not yet, anyway.

But we'd better not let them out of our sight either.

We've got our papers, Alfie. They'll tell us where to report to.

I'm worried.

Silly daemon! Don't worry, we'll be all right.

Day by day, step by step, we were beginning to get back on our old footing with each other. I was gladder than I could say.

I followed the slow-moving line out of the station, dragging my kitbag behind me. This was going to be quite tricky. The crush of people was making Alfie jittery; it was affecting me and I was beginning to feel panicky again. The order-slip that I'd had copied by my artist friend (along with the rest of my forged papers) told me to muster in front of the station entrance, but I couldn't risk being seen. I stood behind an iron pillar and watched.

Our uniforms were like the ones the soldiers wore except that they were made of grey material instead of khaki. That difference should have helped me spot my friends, but there were so many servicemen pushing and shoving that the girls, who were naturally smaller than the men, tended to disappear into the general confusion. I looked around, trying to spot the distinctive caps we were when not on active duty. Surely I'd be able to spot somebody? I searched the thronging mass desperately.

When I finally saw them it was too late. An autobus had edged its way to the far corner of the forecourt, and across a sea of khaki-clad heads I saw Mabel with her ginger hair, standing at the back door and loading her kitbag into it. Nancy was next to her. I wanted to shout, 'Mabel! Nancy!' but Alfie said, no. Not yet.

The 'bus pulled out of the station. Right. The ship (which ship? My orders didn't say) sailed in two hours. That was how long I had to find her, get on board and join my friends. Once I was safely on the way to Frankland I could get back in touch with Mabel and Nancy. They wouldn't throw me overboard, would they? Would they?

I should have known it was absolutely hopeless. There were too many people and it was too far to the docks and there were too many ships when I got there. The kitbag grew heavier and heavier as I trudged up and down the quayside, looking at every vessel for a sign that the Advance Brigade was on board. But there were only twenty or so of us girls, and every ship had hundreds or thousands of men on board. This was the Big Push all right.

Too late I realised that I couldn't be the only one who'd lost their directions. I went up to a military policeman and told him I'd missed my muster point. I showed him my fake documents and held my breath. Would he believe them? Yes he would. He said he couldn't help me himself, but if I went to the Information Desk in the old Customs Building, someone there probably would. It was only a couple of hundred yards down the dockside.

Of course there was a long queue outside the Customs Building by the time I got there, red-faced and streaming with perspiration. It was five past six before I reached the front of the queue. Another policemen examined my papers. I held my breath all over again, but that artist of mine had known what he was doing.

'Dock twenty-six,' he said after referring to his clipboard. 'HMS Littlehampton. You'd better hurry.'

'Where's Dock twenty-six?'

'Out of the door, turn right. Right again at the pier, and two hundred yards down. You can't miss it.'

I couldn't. I ran like I've never run before. I fell twice when my kitbag caught on the kerb and banged my knees and my shins. If only... If only Alfie had been able to Change and help me carry it. But that was completely out of the question.

I reached the dock, dazed and panting for breath. There was my ship, a trim little corvette with smoke drifting from her funnel. But it was too late. The crew had pulled the boarding-ramps on deck and cast off the mooring lines. The Blue Peter was flying next to the White Ensign on her mast and, as I watched helplessly, she slipped away from the pier and pointed her bows towards the inner harbour entrance. There was a band no more than a few yards from me, playing The Banks of Green Willow to wish her bon voyage and see her safely on her way.

They weren't playing it for me. I sat on my useless kitbag and cried my eyes out.