A/N: Title inspired by a friend's fictionpress fic. Now to disclaim.

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I don't own ToS. Well, I own the game, just not the rights. Darn. ...that's not funny, either. -.-; Oh well, this fic is angst... so... whatever.

Bittersweet Memory

Hah... where do I start? Well... for one thing...

Life just doesn't seem to fit for me, does it?

It's funny. Really. Everybody thinks they all know me... the carefree flirt who wants nothin' more than his hunnies and a few spare buds.

So deadly wrong, they all are.

They have no idea how much I hurt inside... the constant pain of knowing I wasn't meant for this life... hell, it hurts so bad, my physical self hurts too.

That's why I joined Cruxis. I took up on their little offer, gladly. Give myself a little purpose in life, and hopefully killed in the process.

And after meeting Lloyd, I knew my fate was sealed like lickin' the envelope and sending it to Hell.

As for his ideals... his dream... what a wonderful place would be to live in. Unfortunately, I doubt it would happen, and if it did, I wouldn't be livin' in it anyway. I mean, wasn't I not going to be killed in the process?

Who cares if I'm killed, anyway? My whole life has been a lie, a joke. Hah... the Chosen. Everybody loves me (or wants to make love with me...) because I'm the gorgeous hero. I took the role, and played it all my life.

The reason why I couldn't kill myself already is because I'm scared. That's right. The Great Chicken Zelos. Who knows what the afterlife is like, if there is one.

Might as well let someone else end this livin' hell. I mean, all I can see now are my "friends," and I know I'm going to lose them soon. Only reason I met them is because I'm Cruxis' spy. I hope my friends carry out my final wishes, to kill me.

Then Seles can be goddessdamned happy.

In fact, I hope Lloyd strikes the final blow. I prefer him over all... holding on to hope and never giving up... so bold, courageous... he makes the better hero.

Hum, funny... you actually trust me.

Too bad you trust a non-existent soul.

Please... let me die.

Fin

A/N: Quite pointless and angsty. n.n; Bei bei crapload of author notes. o.o

Enjoyed it, fiends? X3 If I wrote anything incorrectly or any suggestions for making it better, please feel free to put those in the reviews.