~music starts~
Hermione: Welcome to Whose Line is it Anyway. The show where everything's
made up and the points don't matter, just like Malfoy's thoughts. You're
looking at the new cast, Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Draco Malfoy, Severus
Snape, and I'm Hermione Granger. ~camera does close up of each character in
turn~ This first game is called 'Weird Neswcasters' Malfoy, your behind the
desk, Ron you're the main anchor, I'm the co-anchor ~reads card~ who is
your girlfriend realizing your cheating on me?! Harry is the sports caster
who is a 70's hippie on pot at Woodstock!
Harry: Cool! ~does peace sign~ Like peace-out dude!
Draco: "Ok, that was scary. Bad mental picture. ~shudders~ ~audience howls
with laughter ~ ~Harry looks appalled~
Hermione: "Ok, and Severus will be the weatherman who's... ~wide-eyed
stare~ life's ambition is to be a nudist.
Snape: What's wrong with that?
Others: AHHHHH! IT BURNS!!!!
Draco: Ok, let's get this started before we're all scarred for life
~music~
Ron: In today's headline news Tinky-Winky and Po were mauled by wild bears
while on vacation in Jellystone National Park ~audience laughs ~ and Fudge
has finally admitted to being a retard. ~turns to co-anchor~ What are your
thoughts on this Hermione, dear.
Hermione: Don't call me dear ~smacks Ron~ and I don't see why you give a
damn, why don't you go f*** a cow! ~looks away from him pretending to fume
with anger~
Ron: ~looks confused ~ This just in, I haven't the slightest clue...
Hermione: Don't play dumb with me Ronald Weasley! ~goes up to some random
girl in the audience~ ~points to lipstick~ The same lipstick. Get your eyes
off him he's mine! Ron, I am gonna kick your ass!
Ron: ~ducking from blows~ And now onto sports, Harry
Harry: ~looks deranged and drunk~ Yeah, why can't we all just be friends?
~starts drunkenly singing 'Why can't we be Friends' off key~ Ok, for
sports, Braves beat the Mets 12-0. It was cruel. The band's starting to
play 'Taps' for them. And the Falcons beat the Greenbay Packers
76-7 (Yeah, that's right!). Brutal since they've never lost a home fame.
The football players need to find an inner-peace and be friends. Back to
you Ron, Peace-out! ~falls over drunkenly~
Ron: ~hides under desk~ Thank-you Harry, back here at Ground Zero ~angry
war cry~ All I can say is..
Hermione: I have you now you son of a bitch!
Ron: HELP!!!!
Hermione: Now onto Pro... er. Severus with the weather. RON YOU ARE DEAD!
Snape: Well today in weather it is getting hot out west, really hot! A lot
of secrets will be revealed.
Hermione: You better believe it!
Snape: Well I can't hide it anymore ~pretends to take off clothes~ I don't
have a pointer today so... There's going to be a cold front in from Canada
to hit New York. Hurricane Ty, will hit the South Carolina coast by
tomorrow. Is it drafty in here or what.
Ron: ~shielding his eyes~ I don't know you tell me.
Snape: ~sits down on leather stool and gets stuck~ Stupid leather seats!
Well back to you.
Hermione: Yeah you cover up your eyes around him
Ron: Wouldn't you?
Hermione: You know what Ron ~gives Ron the finger~ You don't even deserve a
whole hand. We're through, get out of my sight. ~drags Ron back stage~
Draco: ~hits buzzer~ ~takes his seat next to Harry~ You know I heard that
suicide is painless. Want to Avada Kedavra each other after the show?
Harry: Sure
Snape: It wasn't that bad
Harry/Ron/Draco: ~wide-eyed -open mouthed fish impersonations~
Ron: Can I join you?
Harry/Draco: Sure!
Snape: ~pouts ~
Harry: We're just kidding... for now.
Hermione: Ok our next game is props this is for all four of you. Harry and
Draco will have this spiky looking thing ~holds up half a hollow sphere
with four 'legs' coming out of the outside~ and Ron and Severus will have
these ~holds up two foam Y's ~ Ok, Ron and Severus go.
Ron/Snape: ~holding objects out in front of them like divining sticks~
Quick we need to find water! ~swings objects around~
Hermione: ~buzz~
Harry/Draco: ~turns objects onto 'legs'~ Itsy Bitsy Spider my ass! ~run
away~
Hermione: ~buzz~
Ron/Snape: ~holds object upright so it looks like Y~ This episode brought
to you by the letter "Y"
Hermione: ~buzz~
Harry/Draco: ~object upside down so legs are in air~ Heidey Ho neighbor!
Hermione: ~buzz~
Ron/Snape: ~holding objects up to faces with straight part sticking out at
nose~ ~elephant call~
Hermione: ~buzz~
Harry/Draco: ~holds object, legs up on top of Draco's head~ And the winner
is Professor Snape! ~Draco jumps up and down looking happy~
Hermione: ~buzz~ ~buzz~ ~buzz~ We'll be back after this short break
~camera pans out~
~camera pans in~
Hermione: Welcome back to Whose Line is it Anyway. Our next game is called
Scenes from a Hat, we asked members from audience to write down ideas for
things they wanted our actors to act out and we took the good ones and put
them in this hat ~pulls out Uncle Sam hat~ and we trashed the crappy ones.
Ok this is for everyone. ~Actors stand up Harry/Draco on one side Ron/Snape
on the other~ Ok, this scene is 'Confusing Battle Cries'
Ron: Give me liberty or a Chocolate frog!
Harry: Don't shoot till you see the whites. (Death eaters dress in black)
Snape: We're all the same on the inside ~silence~
Hermione: ~buzz~ 'Bad topics to talk to the Queen of England about'
Draco: Do you pick your nose, is that what you do in the carriage?
Snape: Do you use max or mini?
Harry: I lick your stamps! ~ audience ROFL~
Hermione: ~buzz~ haha, oh, Ok, 'What Ron's Thinking Right Now'
Draco: Ya know carrots are born in the dirt.
Ron: I know why Hermione's mad, she's PMS'n all the time
Hermione: ~buzz~ Ron, you are soooo dead when we get back to school
Ron: ~gulp~
Hermione: 'Things not to say during a Quidditch match.'
Draco: Harry, why ain't you riding side-saddle?
Hermione: ~buzz~ 'First Drafts of Famous Movie Lines'
Snape: Follow the yellow brick toad. Follow the yellow brick toad.
Ron: FREDZILLIA!
Harry: I'll be back.... tomorrow.
Draco: Miss Scarlet I don't know nothin' 'bout birthin' no teletubbies.
Harry: Luke, I am your second uncle twice removed.
Snape: Quite, frankly Scarlet, I don't give a lamb.
Hermione: ~buzz~ ~buzz~ ~buzz~ Ok, Our final game is Hoedown ~actors stand
up~
Snape: yee-haw
Hermione: Ok, whatever, with the help of Laura Hall. I need a suggestion
from the audience.
Random Person in Audience: GAME SHOW HOST
Hermione: The Game Show Host Hoedown. Ok, take it away! ~waves to Laura
Hall~
~music starts~
Draco: ~takes wand out~
Whose Line is
A corrupted show
I can't tell who
Is a Friend or Foe
Harry I know
Is the Weakest Link
Just for laughs
I turn you into a mink
~turns Harry into a mink and back again~
Harry:
I am very famous
'Cause I'm a game show host you see
I just went bankrupt
And I'm also in Jeopardy
And I try with all might
I just kissed Malfoy
Because the Price was Right
Snape:
I am a game show host
Here with a contestant
The games we play
May be the most unpleasant
It is really tough
And the job is henis
The answer to the question
Is...
Hermione: ~buzz~
Ron:
I was on Blind Date
And met a complete stranger
And went out on a date
With Hermione Granger
She is hard to impress
And I did something really wrong
I made crappy love to her
And she gave me the gong.
All: And she gave me the gong! ~loud applause~
Hermione: That's all for tonight folks. See ya next time. Ron, do you want
me to hang or poison you?
~camera pans out~
Well? Good? Bad? Need to work on some stuff? Tell me! See that little box
down in the left- hand corner? It's your friend. Click on it and tell me
what you think! See ya!
Hermione: Welcome to Whose Line is it Anyway. The show where everything's
made up and the points don't matter, just like Malfoy's thoughts. You're
looking at the new cast, Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Draco Malfoy, Severus
Snape, and I'm Hermione Granger. ~camera does close up of each character in
turn~ This first game is called 'Weird Neswcasters' Malfoy, your behind the
desk, Ron you're the main anchor, I'm the co-anchor ~reads card~ who is
your girlfriend realizing your cheating on me?! Harry is the sports caster
who is a 70's hippie on pot at Woodstock!
Harry: Cool! ~does peace sign~ Like peace-out dude!
Draco: "Ok, that was scary. Bad mental picture. ~shudders~ ~audience howls
with laughter ~ ~Harry looks appalled~
Hermione: "Ok, and Severus will be the weatherman who's... ~wide-eyed
stare~ life's ambition is to be a nudist.
Snape: What's wrong with that?
Others: AHHHHH! IT BURNS!!!!
Draco: Ok, let's get this started before we're all scarred for life
~music~
Ron: In today's headline news Tinky-Winky and Po were mauled by wild bears
while on vacation in Jellystone National Park ~audience laughs ~ and Fudge
has finally admitted to being a retard. ~turns to co-anchor~ What are your
thoughts on this Hermione, dear.
Hermione: Don't call me dear ~smacks Ron~ and I don't see why you give a
damn, why don't you go f*** a cow! ~looks away from him pretending to fume
with anger~
Ron: ~looks confused ~ This just in, I haven't the slightest clue...
Hermione: Don't play dumb with me Ronald Weasley! ~goes up to some random
girl in the audience~ ~points to lipstick~ The same lipstick. Get your eyes
off him he's mine! Ron, I am gonna kick your ass!
Ron: ~ducking from blows~ And now onto sports, Harry
Harry: ~looks deranged and drunk~ Yeah, why can't we all just be friends?
~starts drunkenly singing 'Why can't we be Friends' off key~ Ok, for
sports, Braves beat the Mets 12-0. It was cruel. The band's starting to
play 'Taps' for them. And the Falcons beat the Greenbay Packers
76-7 (Yeah, that's right!). Brutal since they've never lost a home fame.
The football players need to find an inner-peace and be friends. Back to
you Ron, Peace-out! ~falls over drunkenly~
Ron: ~hides under desk~ Thank-you Harry, back here at Ground Zero ~angry
war cry~ All I can say is..
Hermione: I have you now you son of a bitch!
Ron: HELP!!!!
Hermione: Now onto Pro... er. Severus with the weather. RON YOU ARE DEAD!
Snape: Well today in weather it is getting hot out west, really hot! A lot
of secrets will be revealed.
Hermione: You better believe it!
Snape: Well I can't hide it anymore ~pretends to take off clothes~ I don't
have a pointer today so... There's going to be a cold front in from Canada
to hit New York. Hurricane Ty, will hit the South Carolina coast by
tomorrow. Is it drafty in here or what.
Ron: ~shielding his eyes~ I don't know you tell me.
Snape: ~sits down on leather stool and gets stuck~ Stupid leather seats!
Well back to you.
Hermione: Yeah you cover up your eyes around him
Ron: Wouldn't you?
Hermione: You know what Ron ~gives Ron the finger~ You don't even deserve a
whole hand. We're through, get out of my sight. ~drags Ron back stage~
Draco: ~hits buzzer~ ~takes his seat next to Harry~ You know I heard that
suicide is painless. Want to Avada Kedavra each other after the show?
Harry: Sure
Snape: It wasn't that bad
Harry/Ron/Draco: ~wide-eyed -open mouthed fish impersonations~
Ron: Can I join you?
Harry/Draco: Sure!
Snape: ~pouts ~
Harry: We're just kidding... for now.
Hermione: Ok our next game is props this is for all four of you. Harry and
Draco will have this spiky looking thing ~holds up half a hollow sphere
with four 'legs' coming out of the outside~ and Ron and Severus will have
these ~holds up two foam Y's ~ Ok, Ron and Severus go.
Ron/Snape: ~holding objects out in front of them like divining sticks~
Quick we need to find water! ~swings objects around~
Hermione: ~buzz~
Harry/Draco: ~turns objects onto 'legs'~ Itsy Bitsy Spider my ass! ~run
away~
Hermione: ~buzz~
Ron/Snape: ~holds object upright so it looks like Y~ This episode brought
to you by the letter "Y"
Hermione: ~buzz~
Harry/Draco: ~object upside down so legs are in air~ Heidey Ho neighbor!
Hermione: ~buzz~
Ron/Snape: ~holding objects up to faces with straight part sticking out at
nose~ ~elephant call~
Hermione: ~buzz~
Harry/Draco: ~holds object, legs up on top of Draco's head~ And the winner
is Professor Snape! ~Draco jumps up and down looking happy~
Hermione: ~buzz~ ~buzz~ ~buzz~ We'll be back after this short break
~camera pans out~
~camera pans in~
Hermione: Welcome back to Whose Line is it Anyway. Our next game is called
Scenes from a Hat, we asked members from audience to write down ideas for
things they wanted our actors to act out and we took the good ones and put
them in this hat ~pulls out Uncle Sam hat~ and we trashed the crappy ones.
Ok this is for everyone. ~Actors stand up Harry/Draco on one side Ron/Snape
on the other~ Ok, this scene is 'Confusing Battle Cries'
Ron: Give me liberty or a Chocolate frog!
Harry: Don't shoot till you see the whites. (Death eaters dress in black)
Snape: We're all the same on the inside ~silence~
Hermione: ~buzz~ 'Bad topics to talk to the Queen of England about'
Draco: Do you pick your nose, is that what you do in the carriage?
Snape: Do you use max or mini?
Harry: I lick your stamps! ~ audience ROFL~
Hermione: ~buzz~ haha, oh, Ok, 'What Ron's Thinking Right Now'
Draco: Ya know carrots are born in the dirt.
Ron: I know why Hermione's mad, she's PMS'n all the time
Hermione: ~buzz~ Ron, you are soooo dead when we get back to school
Ron: ~gulp~
Hermione: 'Things not to say during a Quidditch match.'
Draco: Harry, why ain't you riding side-saddle?
Hermione: ~buzz~ 'First Drafts of Famous Movie Lines'
Snape: Follow the yellow brick toad. Follow the yellow brick toad.
Ron: FREDZILLIA!
Harry: I'll be back.... tomorrow.
Draco: Miss Scarlet I don't know nothin' 'bout birthin' no teletubbies.
Harry: Luke, I am your second uncle twice removed.
Snape: Quite, frankly Scarlet, I don't give a lamb.
Hermione: ~buzz~ ~buzz~ ~buzz~ Ok, Our final game is Hoedown ~actors stand
up~
Snape: yee-haw
Hermione: Ok, whatever, with the help of Laura Hall. I need a suggestion
from the audience.
Random Person in Audience: GAME SHOW HOST
Hermione: The Game Show Host Hoedown. Ok, take it away! ~waves to Laura
Hall~
~music starts~
Draco: ~takes wand out~
Whose Line is
A corrupted show
I can't tell who
Is a Friend or Foe
Harry I know
Is the Weakest Link
Just for laughs
I turn you into a mink
~turns Harry into a mink and back again~
Harry:
I am very famous
'Cause I'm a game show host you see
I just went bankrupt
And I'm also in Jeopardy
And I try with all might
I just kissed Malfoy
Because the Price was Right
Snape:
I am a game show host
Here with a contestant
The games we play
May be the most unpleasant
It is really tough
And the job is henis
The answer to the question
Is...
Hermione: ~buzz~
Ron:
I was on Blind Date
And met a complete stranger
And went out on a date
With Hermione Granger
She is hard to impress
And I did something really wrong
I made crappy love to her
And she gave me the gong.
All: And she gave me the gong! ~loud applause~
Hermione: That's all for tonight folks. See ya next time. Ron, do you want
me to hang or poison you?
~camera pans out~
Well? Good? Bad? Need to work on some stuff? Tell me! See that little box
down in the left- hand corner? It's your friend. Click on it and tell me
what you think! See ya!