Series: Remote Control

Title: Ch. 2: Semblance Of Control

Author: Damion Starr

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Archive: Area 52, Pegasus Gate, WWOMB, Wraithbait

Fandom: Stargate: Atlantis

Category: Slash, HC

Rating: R

Pairing: Aiden/Steve, Aiden/John, Aiden/Other

Summary: You can't stay in control of every situation.

Warnings: Slash, non-con, language, and fluff

Season/Episode: Season 1, "Poisoning The Well"

Spoilers: "Poisoning The Well"

John slowly entered the Infirmary, afraid of what he may find. However, he was only met with Carson. "Hey Doc," John whispered without meaning to. "How's he doing?"

"Physically, he's fine," Carson whispered as well. "A little tired, but that's to be expected with those who come into contact with the Wraith,"

"And...mentally?" John grimaced as the words left his mouth. Honestly, he didn't want to know, because he knew, he just didn't want to hear it in medical terms.

Carson glanced around and licked his lips, moving closer to the Major before he responded. "He's in bad shape, Major. This has never happened to him before, and he's pretty shaken up about it,"

John nodded. That's what he was afraid of. "Can I talk to him?"

"You can try, but make it quick. He needs his rest," Carson said apologetically, then left.

John hesitated before he crossed the dimly lit, and empty, makeshift hospital. Aiden occupied the last bed on the left. He sat with his knees drawn to his chest, his arms wrapped around his legs, and his chin resting on his knees. He stared, blankly and unblinking, at the mattress.

"Aiden?" John asked softly as he sat on the edge of the bed. The young Marine showed no sign of recognition. "Aiden, it's-" John reached out to touch his Lieutenant's arm, but stopped when Aiden flinched away. Hurt flashed over the Major's features, but he let his hand fall to the bed. "Aiden, I..." Sheppard started, then trailed off. He sighed, heavily, and bowed his head. "I'm sorry," John whispered finally, his voice cracking in the process, before he fled from the Infirmary.

"Sir?" John nearly bulldozed over Sergeant Eugene Bates outside the door.

"Sorry," John mumbled and ducked his head.

"It's okay," Sheppard moved around him, but only got a few steps. "He's not doing so good, is he, sir?" John stopped, but didn't turn.

"No, he's not," He replied quietly.

They stood in silence for a long moment, then John heard Bates walk away, and the Infirmary door open. John, against his better judgement, turned. The door was left open. He hesitated, then quietly snuck over to the gaping doorway and looked in.

Bates sat on the edge of Aiden's bed, his fingertips lightly resting on the younger man's arm. John felt a pang of jealousy. "Aiden? Aiden, it's me, it's Gene," Bates said softly, imploringly. "Aiden, c'mon, you know me. Remember? Remember us?" John suddenly got the feeling that he was hearing something he really shouldn't, and he flattened himself against the wall beside the door. "We met at your parents' anniversary party. Our folks had been friends for years, but that was the first time we met. You smiled, and I thought it was the most beautiful smile in the galaxy...I was wrong...It was the most beautiful smile in two galaxies,"

John closed his eyes briefly. Definitely something he shouldn't.

"We were friends for a year before you came to me that night; soaking wet, crying...broken. I would've given anything to see your smile again," Gene sighed. "I messed up. I know that. I'm not asking for you back, Aiden. I'm just asking that you be okay. That's all," There was a lengthy silence, followed by: "I love you, Aiden...I guess I always will. I can't do anything about that," Gene spoke in a low, sad voice. It was a tone John had never heard on the soldier before, but knew all too well. Hello, heartbreak, my old friend. "I just want you to be happy, and if you think that Major Sheppard will make you happy, then I wish you the best,"

John was vaguely aware that Bates was still talking, but he didn't register the exact words. The hallway was spinning too much. Did Ford have a crush on him? Was that what Bates meant? Aiden- Ford and Bates had a history? John's mind reeled, but all those questions quickly disappeared when one appeared with startlingly crystal clarity: 'How do I feel about Aiden?'

"Good-bye, Aiden," Gene's final, gentle words, which held many other meanings, broke John's train of thought. A moment later, Gene exited the Infirmary.

"Hey," John greeted him casually, and Bates jumped. "I was just headed to the mess, but I hate to eat alone," John continued before Gene could speak, carefully keeping his voice and face neutral. "Care to join me?"

Gene smiled, albeit warily. "Sure."

Both men got only coffee and sat at a table in a fairly isolated area of the Mess Hall. It wasn't hard, since there were only about a dozen other people in there besides themselves. "I haven't got a chance to thank you yet," John said after a moment.

"For what?" Gene asked, confused.

"For saving us," John smiled for reasons unknown to himself.

"Oh," Gene looked down at the dark liquid in his mug, his face hot. "Just doing my job, sir,"

"Drop the sir. We're beyond that at this point," Gene winced, as if struck. John ignored that and leaned forward. "Look, we both know that I heard you in the Infirmary. We both also know that I'm not going to do anything about that, because that would make me a hypocrite," Bates blinked and looked up, surprised. John sighed heavily. "Look, the real reason I wanted to talk to you is because I thought you should know that...I..." Sheppard trailed off. What did he want to tell him? His brain picked the perfect moment to freeze up. John had absolutely no idea what to say, so he chose the simplest one: "I love him. And if he'll let me, I'm going to do everything I can to make him happy,"

"...I know," Gene replied quietly, holding his senior officer's gaze. "Sir, permission to speak freely?"

John didn't correct him. "Permission granted,"

"If you hurt him, if you break his heart, I will not rest until you have experienced misery twice that which you have caused him," Eugene Bates' voice was calm and unwavering, like his cold stare.

"If I hurt him, I deserve it,"

John sat on the edge of Aiden's bed. The Marine now lay with his back to his commanding officer, curled into the fetal position. Sheppard reached out to touch Ford's shoulder, but stopped, remembering Aiden's reaction last time, and let his hand fall to the bed. "Aiden?" John asked softly. "Aiden, c'mon say something, please. I know you can hear me," John waited a moment, but when he got no answer, sighed. "Well, maybe it's better if only I talk right now. I kind of have something hard to say," He began to pick at the stark white hospital sheets. "Aiden, I- uh- oh, shit," John groaned and rolled his eyes toward the ceiling. "Why does this have to be so hard?" He muttered to himself. "Aiden, I-" He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Aiden, I love you. If you hate me now, I understand, and if you want to be transferred to another team, I'm okay with that, but I just had to tell you-" John started to ramble, but stopped when he felt someone's soft fingertips on his lips. He opened his eyes.

"John?" Aiden was now laying on his back, his fingers on his Major's mouth. "Just shut up and kiss me," John blinked, so Aiden moved his hand to the back of the other man's neck and pulled him down into a passionate kiss. John froze for a moment, shellshocked and unsure of himself, then melted into Aiden's embrace.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't-" John started when they broke apart for air.

"Don't," Aiden interuppted. "Please, don't. Not right now. Later," John nodded, then kissed him again, moving to lay on the bed against the length of his Lieutenant's warm body and pulling Aiden into his arms.

When their kiss broke this time, the two men just lay there in silence for a long time, staring into each others' eyes while John stroked Aiden's cheek with his thumb.

"John?" Aiden finally you just hold me? Please?" Aiden's final words were barely audible, and his gaze dropped from John's as tears welled up in his ebony eyes.

John said nothing, just wiped the tears away, tenderly kissed Aiden's lips, and pulled the trembling younger man to him. Aiden curled up against him, resting his head on John's chest and gripping a handful of his shirt. The lights went out.

"I'll protect you. I promise," John said quietly after a moment.

"We'll protect each other."

And with that, they fell asleep.

The End