Under the Covers
Sorry for the lack of recent updates. I was trying to update before I left to go to BH but that didn't work so now it's after BH and I have time now. And it's the school holidays. What fun!
This chapter is somewhat of a song fic chapter, Disclaimer: I don't own any of the songs, artists, lyrics or music.
I'm also sorry if it seems like Darien is a wimp and sappy character. I'm trying to portray his romantic side but obviously it isn't working. Any suggestions?
Chapter 19:
Let's go back
Back to the beginning
Back to when the earth, the sun, the stars all aligned
Cause perfect didn't seem so perfect
Trying to fit a square into a circle
Was no lie
I defy
Let the rain fall down and wake my dreams
Let it was away my sanity
'Cause I want to feel the thunder
I want to scream
Let the rain fall down
I'm coming clean, I'm coming clean
Serena smiled wistfully to herself as she heard the song blast through on her mp3 player as she walked towards her meeting place with Seiya.
It was ironic how that you could relate songs to your own fucked up problems. Of course it wasn't really raining and there was no thunder to be spoken of but the basic message was there. She was coming clean.
It was time she 'came clean' about the whole fiasco with Michael and her dirty secret about Darien. So be it if Darien wanted to be with the red haired vapid bitch that she had encountered at the elevators. Serena was getting everything out in the open and nothing was going to stop her.
As she approached the park where she was supposed to meet Seiya she hastily stopped her mp3 player and stuffed it in her pocket. She paused for a second. "Why the hell do I have Hilary Duff on my mp3?!" She exclaimed to herself.
She shivered involuntary as she realized that the park was deserted. The leaves blowing across her feet. Her hair whipping around her face. Goosebumps marred her skin.
Serena knew instinctively that tonight was not going to go down well. Already an eerie feeling creeping up inside her. Her heart thumped anxiously inside of her. Her gut filled with knots.
She willed herself to move closer inside the park as she danced around the outskirts.
"Serena," A voice drifted over. She was done in; she moved slowly drawing herself closer.
She was suddenly face to face with him. She stopped immediately.
A figure half covered by the foliage stepped into the moonlight. Serena searched his face intently.
I'm shedding, shedding every colour
Trying to find a pigment of truth
Beneath my skin
'Cause different doesn't feel so different
And going out is better
Than always staying in
Feel the wind
He didn't attempt to make a move to get closer to Serena even though she was 20 feet away from him. To far away for them to have a proper conversation. So they stood and just stared at each other.
Each, trying to gauge what the other was thinking or feeling.
Serena stood rooted to her spot. Indecision keeping her from coming any closer to Seiya or turning and fleeing the deserted park.
The park was probably not the best place for him to pick for them to meet. She had a lot of fond memories here. It broke her heart just a little bit more when she realized that she had fond memories with Seiya here. And she knew that she could never re- live those moments.
Serena took a few uncertain steps towards Seiya, her heart pounding in her chest. "Seiya..."
He reluctantly almost uncertainly walked closer to Serena. Just stopping an arm distant away from her.
Serena suddenly found the grass under her feet more fascinating as she stared intently at it.
"Serena-"
Serena looked up at Seiya's drawn in face and smiled wanly. Finally seeing him for the first time in a long time.
Let the rain fall down
And wake my dreams
Let it wash away my sanity
'Cause I want to feel the thunder I want to scream
Let the rain fall down
I'm coming clean, I'm coming clean
His outward appearance was a bit off putting. His eyes blood shot with deep bags growing under his eyes due to lack of any proper rest. Wrinkles scarred his smooth face. His hands slightly trembled as he clasped them together.
He was wearing the exact same thing he was wearing when they had gone to the restaurant only several hours ago. Except now his clothes looked a bit shabby and didn't fall right on his frame.
"I'm so sorry,"
Seiya's eyebrows shot right up to his hairline as he searched the face of the helpless woman in front of him. His eyes frantically rooming her face in an attempt to find a clue, anything that might indicate what she was feeling. Obviously troubled.
She stopped him before he could get to ask why.
"Stop. Just listen to me. After I'm done I give you every right to hate me or never talk to me again. Just please don't interrupt. Seiya, know that I never, ever in my wildest dreams wanted to hurt you at all," Serena stressed.
She waited for Seiya to give his nod of approval before continuing on. She looked to the ground again and she gathered what strength she needed to tell Seiya what he needed to know.
Seiya's heart beated in anticipation knowing that whatever she was about to say next would not be something he would like.
Her thoughts drifted over to Darien and it was like that she was almost drawing positive energy just thinking about him. She could feel strength and courage radiating through her. Darien's smile warming her and encouraging her. His eyes urging her to continue. His arms wrapped around her body and she knew she was safe and could do this.
"I'm not going to like this am I?" Seiya asked lightly his eyes already showing his weariness.
Serena let out a short laugh, "No your not,"
"A long time ago you told me you loved me and at that time I couldn't say it back to you because I wasn't sure of how exactly I felt about you. But now Seiya I can honestly say that I love you but I'm not in love with you,"
Seiya desperately tried to understand where this was all coming from and where it was leading too. Slightly hurt that she admitted that she wasn't romantically interested in him after all this time.
"I care a lot for you and it was never my intention to hurt you at all. Truth is when we started dating, before we even started going out I knew I could never give you what you wanted and what you deserved. And trust me Seiya; you deserve so much more than me,
"I knew I could never give you what you wanted because I instinctively knew that you where the kind of guy that wanted the whole package. Heart, mind, body and soul. But I couldn't let you take my heart because unknown to me at that time I had already lost it,"
"Serena-"
"No wait, let me finish I still have a lot to tell you,"
"In high school I meet this indescribable man but of course for the longest time he didn't ever pay me any attention well not in the way I wanted to. But then one day he did and that was the day he changed my life forever.
We become friends, confidents, lovers. He taught me everything I needed to know about the world and about love. When high school finished I thought I would never see him again and had resigned myself to that fact but to my shock I realized that he went to the same collage as me and then I was to far gone. We started up our dangerous love affair,"
It was then that Seiya realized the horrible truth of her declaration. He wasn't the only one in their relationship having an affair. He wasn't the only one hiding an ugly scar in their relationship.
I don't want to talk
About the things we have gone through
Though it's hurting me
Now its history
I've played all my cards
And that's what you've done too
Nothing more to say
No more ace to play
"Our roles in society have allowed us to have an open relationship thus far. Between me and him it was just this thing beneath the sheets. When the world and all its shit hit the roof I knew I could always find sanctuary in his arms,"
"He isn't married is he Serena?!" Seiya blurted out suddenly.
"No! I wouldn't ever do that. Not to me and not to his wife!" Serena said horrified.
"Wait, you mean to say that after all this time we have been together you have been with another man! All the times we have made love you have been fucking someone else as well?!" Seiya spitted out suddenly disgusted with the woman standing in front of him.
The winner takes it all
The loser standing small
Beside the victory
That's her destiny
I was in your arms
Thinking I belonged there
I figured it made sense
Building me a fence
Building me a home
Thinking I belonged there
But I was the fool
Playing by the rules
Serena's anger flared up. He had done the exact same thing with Anne and now she was pregnant! Didn't that even up the score at all? She knew that he was feeling hurt, resentful and confused but it didn't make his comment sting less.
"Let me remind you Seiya, that you have been fucking around with Anne and now you're a proud father to be. So don't get all self righteous with me," Serena said her temper flaring up.
Seiya clenched his jaw tightly. Knowing that she made a valid point. He hadn't been totally faithful to Serena either.
But tell me does she kiss
Like I used to kiss you
Does it feel the same
When she calls your name
Somewhere deep inside
You must know I miss you
But what can I say
Rules must be obeyed
"Seiya, just listen to me god dam it. I was so confused. I wanted desperately to leave the other guy and be with you; try to make it work between us but I was so conflicted. Then my friend introduced me to this other guy,"
Seiya moaned dramatically, "Don't fucking tell me that you slept with him too Serena! And to think when I first meet you I thought you had morals,"
Serena flinched slightly at the insult. "At first I thought that he could help me but as time went on I knew I couldn't hurt him just like I couldn't hurt you with the truth,"
The judges will decide
The likes of me will abide
Spectators of the show
Always staying low
The game is on again
A lover or a friend
The big thing or a small
The winner takes it all
Seiya's eyes widened considerably. "It was only recently wasn't it? Those weeks where you blew me off all the time or were so out of it I might as well been talking to myself,"
Serena nodded mutely. Her head hung low as she twisted her hands together. Her anger somehow just lifting off her. Floating away as easily as it had come.
"I really did care for you Seiya; I just couldn't give you what you wanted from me. Maybe Anne can do that for you," Serena said dejectedly.
She shivered in the cold night air and she rubbed her arms absently. Seiya watched her with cool regard. His mind working frantically to fit in all the puzzle pieces Serena had just given over.
I don't wanna talk
If it makes you feel so sad
And I understand
You've come to shake my hand
I apologize
If it makes you feel bad
Seeing me so tense
No self-confidence
The winner takes it all.
""I'm going to marry Anne. No matter what everything has happened my baby needs a father and I'm going to be there every step of the way," Seiya breathed to the night air.
Serena tensed expecting the final blow she wasn't expecting what Seiya said next, "I would appreciate it if we put all of this behind us. Anne requested that you be our baby's godmother,"
Serena chocked suddenly setting her into a fit of coughs. Seiya looked alarmed for a second but he stayed in his place.
"Wha... What? Godmother?" Serena stuttered out.
"I know it may be a bit overwhelming but it would mean the world for Anne and... me,"
"How can you trust me?"
"The same way as the way you trust me. We have a lot to go through but please. Think it over,"
Serena nodded silently.
"I hope the guy who did steal you heart away realizes what a treasure he has," Seiya said softly his eyes softening as he gently stroked her cheek.
The only contact that passed between them the entire evening. He slowly dropped his arm to his side and a slow smile spread across his face.
Serena placed a tender last kiss on his mouth. The closing of a chapter. A sweet goodbye.
"Thank you,"
Seiya watched as she walked away from him. Her figure merging into the shadows of the park. He turned and walked in the opposite direction. He knew that Serena and he had no future together but his heart still ached and knew that whenever he thought of her it would always ache.
She was the one who got away.
Ta da! And that folks is the end of Serena and Seiya. Stay tuned for the next chapter cause there will be actual smut! Now if you would like the smut I'm not to sure.
The songs are: Come clean by Hilary Duff and The winner takes it all by ABBA