Episode 2
Over At The Blue Outpost
(Bishop, Nutz, and Zipper were all outside of the outpost standing around a purple object.)
Bishop: Ohhh, it's so purple and shiney.
(Nutz looked to Zipper and shook his head.)
Nutz: Cut the bullshit Zipper, what is this thing.
Zipper: Well me and the other marines were up on the hills over there.
(Zipper pointed towards the area.)
Nutz: Over there? And not over here.
(Nutz then pointed in the opposite direction.)
Zipper: Hmmm. No, it was over here.
Nutz: But you had to think about it, so it could have been over here.
Zipper: But it wasn't.
Nutz: How do you know.
Zipper: Because I was over there when I found it.
Nutz: So you weren't over there?
Zipper: I don't think so.
Nutz: But you don't know so.
Zipper: Will you shut the hell up. Anyways, we think it might possibly be a vehicle, a vehicle that could have possibly been used by The Covenant.
Bishop: Ooohhh The Covenant, I thought they were (he then whispered) extinct.
Nutz: Why the fuck did you just whisper that?
Bishop: Whisper what.
Nutz: Whisper extinct.
Bishop: Well if the Covenant aren't extinct I didn't want them to think we thought they were.
Nutz: You know, nevermind.
Zipper: Anyways, while trying to establish an vantage point on the Reds, we found this baby buried under some rocks.
Nutz: So......
Zipper: So, with this, we can get in and out of the Red base quick.
Nutz: Holy shit dude, we can even possibly get their flag.
Zipper: That's right, but
Nutz: Damn there's a but why is there always a but.
Bishop: So this is a vehicle?
Nutz and Zipper: SHUT THE FUCK UP
Nutz: Anyways what's the but.
Zipper: It's a Covenant vehicle.
Nutz: And....
Zipper: I'm not sure Nutz, but the last time I checked none of us were fluent in Covenant.
Nutz: Damn, he's right.
Zipper:........
Nutz: Well we could learn, we could get a teacher, a Covenant teacher.
Zipper: Oh yeah good plan Nutz, let's find a Covenant that have been extinct, I don't know what, maybe 30 years, dig him out of his grave and have him somehow teach us.
Nutz: Sounds like a plan to me.
Zipper: You are truly an idiot.
Bishop: How hard can it be? I mean all we need to know is how to accelerate and brake.
Nutz: He does have a point.....
Zipper: Dammit, I hate agreeing with you Nutz, I just god damn hate it.
Nutz: Well then it's settled let's get someone to test drive this bitch.
Bishop: No, no way, that thing is not blowing up on me....
Zipper: Fuck you guys.
Nutz: I'm not doing it.
(A blue marine who's patrolling the outpost walks by.)
Nutz: You come here, what's your name.
Marine: Stanley sir.
Nutz: Now you're name is Surge, you got that?
Surge: Uhhh sure.
Nutz: Surge do you want to be cool?
Surge: Sure.
Nutz: Do you want to be popular.
Surge: Hell yeah.
Nutz: Do you want all the ladies to grab on you.
Surge: Ummm there are no ladies here.
Nutz: True, well omit that last part. If you want to be cool, all you have to do is get in this vehicle, umm what's it called.
Zipper: Marines from the Covenant vs. Earth War called it a Ghost.
Nutz: Why in the....nevermind, anyways Surge, we need you to test drive this thing so we can find out how it works.
Surge: But I don't know how to drive it.
Nutz: So....
Surge: If I crash it will it blow up?
Nutz: That's why we need you to find out you piece of nubtard.
Surge: Dude if it blows up, I'll die.
Nutz: So....just get in the damn thing.
Surge: Fine fine fine.
(Surge then began to run towards the "Ghost'" as he sat in it.)
Nutz: Now you need to figure out how to start the thing.
Surge: I'm going to take a guess and say it's this yellow button.
Nutz: Yellow, why yellow?
Surge: Because Yellow is my favorite color.
Nutz: Ok.....I guess that makes some sense.
Zipper: Oh please, what sense does that make, if yellow turns on the "Ghost" then I'm officially Bishops little bitch.
(Surge pressed the yellow button as the engine turned on and the "Ghost" lifted off of the ground.)
Bishop: Get on your knees bitch.
Zipper: Fuck you man.
Nutz: Oh hell yeah, let's figure out how we accelerate this thing.
Surge: It has to be this foot pedal right here.
Nutz: How would you know that?
Surge: Because there's a picture that shows the "Ghost" moving.
Nutz: Does it actually show it moving like is it a video in motion?
Surge: No it's just a picture of a "Ghost" with an arrow pointing forward.
Nutz: Yeah I guess that does qualify as acceleration, give it a try.
Surge: Here I go.
(Surge pushed on the pedal as the "Ghost" moved forward.)
Nutz: Awesome, you are the shiznit man.
Bishop: What a loser.
Nutz: What?
Bishop: Shiznit? No one says that.....
Nutz: Shut up.
Red Outpost.
(Winston was seen standing on a hill looking over at the Blue Outpost.)
Winston: Holy shit.
Scotch: What what am I missing, why don't I get a scope weapon.
Winston: I'm not sure, but it looks like Blue, they're developing some kind of new technology.
Scotch: New technology, like Weapons of Mass Destruction.
Winston: I don't know, but it looks pretty high tech. They're driving it.
Scotch: Well don't just look at them. Shoot you idiot.
Winston: I can't shoot at them, I want to be secretive.
Scotch: You don't have any ammo do you....
Winston: No.
Scotch: Why are you always the one with the sniper rifle but no bullets.
Winston: Because women like the big guns if you know what I mean.
Scotch: No I don't know what you mean, in case you haven't noticed, THERE ARE NO GIRLS HERE!!!!!
Winston: But what if there were girls here?
Scotch: But there's not.
Winston: But let's say there were.
Scotch:............Then you'd most definately get the women.......yeah sure.
Winston: Well let's head back to base, headquarters has to know what we've discovered.
(Scotch and Winston got up and left the hill walking back to the Red base.)
WELL WE FINALLY KNOW WHAT ZIPPER FOUND, BUT ACCORDING TO NUTZ, WE'RE NOT EXACTLY SURE WHAT LOCATION HE FOUND IT IN, HOW WILL RED COMBAT THIS NEW WEAPON? WILL BLUE GET THE FLAG? WILL NUTZ EVER STOP SAYING THAT FUCKING WORD NUBTARD.
Nutz: You fucking son of a nubtard, I'll kill you if you bitch about my word.
UMMMM SORRY PLEASE DON'T HURT ME, ANYWAYS, FIND OUT MORE ON EPISODE 3 OF DUN DUN DUN DUN!!!! CAPTURE THE FLAG.