A man stood in the corner, staring at an unusually shaped box—intricate designs were strewn almost casually about it; it was a deep blue with purple hues. He turned around, one arm crossed over his stomach and the other propped up on it, and two fingers of it were pushing against the nosepiece of his glasses in an act of second nature. His feet were like dead pivots, merely moving him around so that he, Daniel Jackson, could face his current mental enemy, Apophis's former First Prime.
"Well, Teal'c," spoke the doctor, his eyes directed at the ground with an annoyed expression, almost as if it had done something to anger him. His glance then shifted to the Jaffa. "Do you have a suggestion as to what we should… do?" He took his fingers off his glasses and used the arm to finish his angry, cross-armed position, moving his head back slightly.
"Neither I nor my symbiote have come up with a solution at this time. It is most unfortunate."
A third, male voice spoke from a top bunk, talking to the ceiling. "Junior can't problem-solve, then?" he chuckled.
"It would appear that this is so, Colonel O'Neill," said Teal'c, shifting himself so his legs hung over the edge of his cot. He sat up, and propped his elbows on his knees, and put his hands together in a praying position so as to appear deep in thought.
Daniel pivoted back around to face the box once more, shifted his head up to the ceiling, and off beat, muttered a "we're doomed" and quickly stared at the wall as if it should be telling him the solution to all his problems. Still intently engaged in the wall, he attempted to put the small pieces of information he had together. "Well, it's not naquadah… And the Tok'ra have eloquently informed us that it is not any type of Goa'uld technology, but we're still not sure it's a threat," he mumbled slowly to himself, pacing around the table that the box sat on top of.
"General Hammond has told us to wait for Major Carter's report on the experiments they are to be conducting as we speak, Daniel Jackson. Perhaps we should think of this object as a gift," said Teal'c, turning his head to face the man who still continued to pace around the room as if the box were something to be interrogated.
O'Neill sat up from the top bunk and stared at the floor, then made his way down the ladder, jumping off at the fifth rung. He put his hands in his pockets. "Well, Daniel, if you die here, at least you'll die with a bang… and maybe quite a few more bangs after that, but it'll still get all of us on the six o' clock news. The Pentagon wouldn't be too happy about that, but hey! We'd be dead."
"Very… comforting," Daniel said, almost carefully. He grinned stupidly in spite of himself.
Teal'c, on the other hand, was confused. "I have no prior knowledge of this 'six o'clock news' you speak of. Please, explain," said the Jaffa, eyebrows raised in want of something to do with his mind, as it was bored.
O'Neill sat down beside Teal'c, and patted him on the shoulder, and stretched the other arm out towards the ceiling, as if it were the world before him. Teal'c gave him a look that suggested that perhaps his commanding officer did not, in fact, come from a species relying on carbon. "Teal'c, among my race of Tauri, there is a Great Rite that surpasses all others. It is…" he shook his head in a circular motion a bit, trying to think of a commanding and all-surpassing name for this Rite, but finding none, continued with "…The Rite of Six of Clock News. To all of my people, it is a great honor to, once dead, appear on the six o' clock news. It would mean that you have either died with great show, or… are very famous. The names of those who are on it are soon lost, but their methods of final passing are indeed, with us," removing his arm from Teal'c in order to make a wild gesticulation at the universe, "forever."
Teal'c continued his look, and was still incredibly confused as to what the six o' clock news served as. "Your explanation has not ceased my confusion, Colonel O'Neill."
O'Neill put his hands in his pockets and then stared at the floor, but then quickly looked at Daniel, for a great need of a subject-change. "So, Daniel. What was that… message, that you got with the box?"
Daniel turned around again, this time from a pace near the door. His face was still strewn in confusion, and it took a couple seconds for his mind to receive the question he was asked. "Well, I don't… entirely understand it myself, but…" he picked up a piece of paper and a pencil, and wrote it down. He passed the piece of paper to O'Neill.
O'Neill turned the paper around in order to better show his utter confusion of pronunciation. "Fay-dag-bah will answer the eternal question in the eternal language?"
Teal'c stood up across from O'Neill, and put his arms behind his back. "Colonel O'Neill, allow me to attempt a more… proper pronunciation."
O'Neill looked up at Teal'c, and then handed him the note. "Yeah, sure… Knock yourself out."
Teal'c, in turn, read the note, also slightly confused as to what the first word read. "It appears to me that the pronunciation of this word is 'fah-é-dahg-bah,' although I too am unsure as to what civilization in this galaxy has anything of that name.
Daniel looked at both of them, and then adjusted his glasses. "Well, it came in my mind, but… the first word appeared in all capitals. It—it could mean it's an acronym of some kind. Military code of another planet, but I can't even begin to imagine the countless languages, countless organizations that could use the-"
O'Neill raised his hand in order to stop the ranting doctor. "Daniel, take a break from the box. It'll survive without you, and you'll only end up translating yourself to death." He patted Daniel on the shoulder twice.
"Would that method of passing allow him the Rite of Six of Clock News, O'Neill?" Teal'c said, smiling. He sat back down on his cot. O'Neill's many idiocies intrigued and amused the Jaffa.
"Perhaps, Teal'c, perhaps," said Jack. He crossed his arms and stared up at the sky, as if observing this fake rite.
Teal'c shuddered in an act of attempted control as even his symbiote laughed heartily inside.
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Riiightyo! I haven't really seen a whole lot of SG-1 episodes. I've seen mostly the shipper episodes, because my idiot friend Quindolynn decided to only show me the ones with Sam/Jack moments. I've got most of this plot worked out, but I originally was going to have the box cook pancakes, so I had to make some minor adjustments in the beginning… But now the plot's a bit more serious. I might stick some shippiness in there somewhere, but for now, all you get is plotstuffs.