Author's Note: Ok how's this fic idea for random?? I'm not sure how many of these answering machine series I plan to have but I'm starting with my best friend's favorite character -- Aoshi. Would that guy even have a phone if it was invented? Oh, well. It's just a thought. I'm making one with Kenshin next. Hope you all enjoy. ^_^

Disclaimers: It is 2004 now and . . .I still don't own Rurouni Kenshin . . . *sigh*

Chapter 1: Aoshi

*BEEP*  . . .Why did you have to call today, of all days? I'm probably testing the sharpness of my kodachis. I'll get back to you when I feel like it . . .depending on how successful I am at catching my dinner. . .  *BEEP*

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*BEEP* AOSHI-SAMAAAAA!! THIS IS MISAO!!! That's all I wanted to say. *BEEP*

*BEEP* Aoshi! This is Okina. You'll be getting my medical bill and a thrashing as soon as I can get out of this bed . . . *BEEP*

*BEEP*Hello, this is Kenshin. Aoshi? Could you please not fight against us? How would you like to team up with us instead? I would be very grateful if you did team up with us, that I would be. ^_^x *BEEP*

*BEEP* Leader, there is this psycho with a machine gun who says he knows you. I'd be grateful if you could get back to me. Thanks, Hanya. *BEEP*

*BEEP*  Aoshi-sama!! This is Omasu – how about you drag your sorry ass home for dinner!! You're not going to catch anything out there with those kodachis of yours!! Don't worry, Kuro is not cooking dinner.*BEEP*

*BEEP* Aoshi-sama? This is Kuro. Not to be nosy or anything but I was just wondering why you have a book on flower arranging in your drawer . . .not that I looked out of curiosity or anything . . .*BEEP*

*BEEP* Hello!! This is Soujiro!! How about that! That rhymes!! I was just calling to say that it is a beautiful sunny day! And I was also wondering if you have decided whether or not you will be joining Mr. Shishio and me in our quest to conquer Japan! I look forward to your reply! *BEEP*

*BEEP* Leader, this is Hanya again. I really wish you could hurry up and get here faster. This gun-crazy idiot seems to enjoy shooting at everything that moves.*BEEP*

*BEEP* AOSHI-SAMA!! This is Misao!! I have a surprise for you at home!! Don't worry I did not bake anything . . .*BEEP*

*BEEP*Aoshi-sama? This is Okon. Could you please stop by a store on your way home? Okina drank all the green tea again  . . . *BEEP*

*BEEP*Leader, this is Shikijou. Some rooster-head punk has just jetted off with the annoying fox (Megumi). Honestly, I don't know why he would pick HER of all people. I'm sure he could have found someone better and less annoying – wait is this thing still recording?! *BEEP*

*BEEP* Who's yo' DADDY?!  . . . No seriously, I was wondering. Kaoru tells me of some kind of icicle – asexual thing. But I'm still skeptical . . .This is Sanosuke by the way.*BEEP*

*BEEP* JACKASS!! This is prank phone call by Yahiko Miyojin!! Oh crap, I just told you my name didn't I? *in the background* Yahiko are you making prank calls AGAIN!! What did I tell you about that kind of behavior in my dojo!! – Ooops!! Gotta run!! Please don't tell Kaoru I called you ok? Bye! *BEEP*

*BEEP*Hello, Aoshi? This Kenshin again, that it is. Kaoru wanted me to call you and apologize for giving you that slash across your chest in our last fight. Kaoru *a smack is heard from the background* I mean, I would also like to give you some . . .ummm flowers to make you feel better, that I would. . . *BEEP*

*BEEP* I must have the wrong number, this isn't the Battousai's answering machine. Oh, well. I'll cut to the chase. I'm bored and I want to spar with someone. Call me back. Saitou.*BEEP*

*BEEP* So, Shinomori, have you decided whether you should join me or not? Hurry up with your answer, I'm starting to burn again. I'll be waiting. By the way, you don't happen to have any sun tan lotion? I seem to have run out. This is Shishio in case you haven't figured it out.   *BEEP*

*BEEP* Don't worry about anything, Leader. The Battousai gave that gun-crazy idiot a taste of his own medicine. But my mask got damaged in the process – you don't happen

to have any of my make-up over there do you? This is Hanya, by the way.*BEEP*

*BEEP* AOSHI-SAMA!!! WHERE ARE YOU?! I saved the last bag of green tea for you!!!!!!!!^_^*BEEP*

*BEEP* This is Shiro and I don't think that eating raw animals is good for you. Maybe you should come home? I saved some dinner for you – well, all I could before Misao got to it . . .*BEEP*

*BEEP* Mr. Shinomori, this is your lawyer and I have totaled the costs of the damage to the Aoiya. When you get back, we can talk about suing that Shishio person. *BEEP*