Summary: Havoc looked at his surroundings in the general direction of the colonel's room, and blinked at the sight of a soot-covered Hawkeye, an unconcious colonel, and a burned office. Lesson? When Roy starts singing, bad things happen. Bad things.
Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist does not belong to me.
Music Man-
An angry First Lieutenant stormed down the hall, instantly calling need for all the male occupants of Central Headquarters to find quick shelter.
"Havoc!" she called. Havoc cautiosly peeked out from under his desk.
"Yes, ma'am?" he asked tentatively.
"Make note that from now on, Colonel Mustang is not allowed to sing while working."
"Why's that, First Lieutenant?" Carefully getting up, he looked at his surroundings in the general direction of the colonel's room, and blinked at the sight of a soot-covered Hawkeye, an unconcious colonel, and a burned office. "Never mind," he muttered.
Curious, Farman cautiosly opened the closet door and looked at the room."You know, he really should open a grill," he said."What do you think, Havoc? Rare or medium-rare?"
Havoc thought for a moment. "Twenty bucks it's medium rare."
Hawkeye sighed, but the sound of footsteps interrupted her thoughts.
"President King Bradley!" she greeted, snapping into a salute. He saluted her in return, and caught a glimpse of the charred room.
"Why is this room cooked like a rare steak?" he asked. Behind Hawkeye, an annoyed Havoc handed over twenty dollars.
"Well..." Hawkeye started.
-
Roy Mustang was sitting in his office, staring the papework that the First Lieutenant had successfully forced upon him. Thouroughly bored, he tried to concentrate knowing fully well what Hawkeye would do to him if he didn't finish his report on time. He let out a sigh, and picked up the first page of the ever-growing stack. 'We would like to know the status of the troops in blah blah blah blah...' he muttered. In annoyance, he started tapping his pen on his desk to a tune that he had heard while having dinner with Hughes and is family earlier that week. Soon, he had forgotten about the pen entirely and was humming and drumming his fingers on his table.
Half an hour later, Hawkeye entered. Looking at the humming colonel and the blank sheets of paper before him, she sighed.
"Colonel, you need to-" she started, but froze. Roy, who hadn't even noticed her, lifted his hand in an all-too-familiar position,keeping the beat of the song. Absentmindedly, he brought the two fingers together. "Sir, wait-" she shouted. But it was too late. The fingers snapped, and there was a large explosion of fire. Hawkeye barely had enough time to duck behind the doorframe.
-
Five hours later, the colonel woke up. Oblivious to his surroundings and the fact he looked like a walking rare steak, cooked to perfection on the mohagany/oak board that was his desk, he put on his tattered coat and and slightly flaming hat and left headquarters. "Man. That's one good song."
-end-
Author's Note- Yay! First fic finished! --; So many written, so few typed up... The steak was actually overcooked. Everyone else was wrong. On a side note, my brother got a hold of this story and we created at least five alternate endings. Here are two of the finalists we chose:
Alternate Endings:
1. Oblivious to his surroundings and the fact he looked as if Hawkeye had finally maimed him (like she will in the morning), he left his office lightly humming.
2. Roy awoke to the sound of his phone ringing. "Hey Roy, what ever happened to that steak I asked you to buy?" Roy looked in his desk.
"Uh, it's with me. I even cooked it for you. I hope you like medium-rare."
Meanwhile, Havoc furiously whispered to Farman, "I told you it was medium-rare. I want my money back."