One Night Stand: 2– Asuka

Disclaimer: I do not own Evangelion or any of the characters they are the property of their respective creators. Please be aware that no profit is being made from this work of fan fiction.

It has been a few days now since he returned and yet my nightmares still continue. I had expected them too end once he came back, believing that worrying about his absence had been the cause of them. With my only theory quashed, I was left with no clue as to their source…I was afraid to return to my bed, lest the nightmares return to haunt me once more. Yet, at the same time I knew I could not afford another sleepless night. I had not slept well since his disappearance and with a synch test scheduled for tomorrow my reasons for needing to be rested was double. Finding no other recourse, I came to an upsetting conclusion; I would be forced to seek comfort in the arms of another…

Initially, I considered asking Misato. In some ways she was like an older sister to me, it would be far simpler to seek comfort from her, less uncomfortable sleeping next to another girl. I slid open the door to my room and silently paced across the apartment to her bedroom. On hearing the deep and resonating snores emanating from within I hesitated, Misato too had been having troubles of late. Ever since He had been taken, she had been up late into the night, pacing across the living room, muttering to herself. When he finally returned the tension seemed to flow from her, apart from the many times she would check on him that first night, after that, she had begun to sleep soundly. I could not bring myself to disturb her now and slunk away, defeated. Now I was left with only one other recourse…Shinji. In many ways, I would rather face the nightmares than face him. Since he returned, I have barely spoken two words with him, afraid of what will fall from my lips. To look into those clear blue eyes for too long, I feared that I would lose myself and spill forth the secrets that I have so hard tried to hide from him.

As I stood silently before his door, regarding the sign that hung there. I prayed that he was asleep, for I knew that my resolve would weaken were he awake and I would be forced to flee. Gently I slid the door open and looked inside…he lay there unmoving, eyes closed. Thanking whatever gods had heard my prayer, I slipped inside, advancing towards where he lay at a slow pace. As I closed half the distance between us, I realised that the door remained open and quickly turned round to slide it closed lest the light wake him. As the last beams of moonlight were sealed away I felt a single tear fall down my face. Now wrapped in darkness I began to advance towards him once again, more careful this time lest I collide with something in the dark.

When my toes collided with something hard, I suspected I had reached the bed. Moving my hands downwards, they came into brief contact with his chest, causing a small shock to run along my arm. Pushing the unexpected sensation aside, I gripped the sheets tightly and pulled them up and away before slipping inside and allowing them to fall back down on top of us. As I lay beside him, his warmth flew into me and I felt at peace, no longer afraid. I knew I would have to depart before morning, lest he find me there.

I do not know how long we lay that way; all I know is that I could not find my way to sleep. As his masculine scent assaulted my nose, combined with the warmth pressing against my chest, I felt a fire form in my abdomen and desire stir within me. As it continued to grow, becoming too great to ignore, I finally gave in and shifted slightly so that I now lay on top of him, resting against his chest before reaching down and capturing his lips with my own. I felt him stiffen beneath me, and at once, I knew he was awake and was gripped by irrational fear. I was afraid that, should I break the contact, he would send me away. Without warning, he suddenly began to kiss me back silencing my fears. He shifted upwards, moving to take control and I did not resist, instead revelling in the magnificent sensations that were coursing through my body.

Even so, I still wanted more. I reached down with one hand to grab his and gently moved it up to my breast. I slid his palm between the buttons of the shirt I was wearing and pushed it onto my bare flesh. For a moment, I revelled in the feeling of his hand upon my flesh before he suddenly pulled away, breaking the kiss. I sat there bewildered for a moment, wondering what I had done. He flicked on the light and as I squinted at him, I found his eyes were not filled with loathing, but rather confusion. Gathering my courage, I finally gave voice to my desires…

"Make love to me Shinji."

As wondergirl had once put it, I wanted to 'become one' with him. Not simply an act of animal lust, but instead an act in which the souls of two people were joined. This night, I would finally show him what lay beneath the mask I had worn for so long and perhaps, just perhaps I would never need to wear it again…

When he did not react and I saw the faraway look in his eyes, I knew I would be forced to ask again, unsure whether he had heard my request.

"Make love to me Shinji."

At once, his eyes came back into focus and I felt as if he was staring right into my soul.

"Please."

"Why?"

I backed away suddenly; it felt as if his words struck me like a physical blow. His eyes softened and he reached out and took my hand, signalling that he would not leave me. Feeling reassured I began to speak, letting the truth finally fall from my lips.

"When I fought against the 14th I thought I was going to die. My Eva was crippled, and Unit-00 was missing an arm. She had no chance of beating an Angel that had so easily beaten me. Without Unit-01 I knew then it was all over, that this time I was going to die…"

I paused for a moment, trying to fight back my tears. I squeezed his hand for support as I relived that terrible feeling of being cut off and alone.

"When it was over and I was told what happened, I got angry; not only had you saved the day once again but your synch ratio had climbed to a place I could never hope to reach, you had beaten me again and you weren't even here for me to shout it to your face…"

His eyes sparkled with anger at my words and he tried to pull away, desperately I tightened my grip, refusing to let him go. I met his gaze, pleading silently for him to hear me out. He relented finally, no longer trying to pull his hand away.

"I ran to Kaji for support."

I watched as his visibly stiffened, I knew he was well aware of my prior infatuation with the older man. In fact, I was also aware of the fact he had come to see Kaji as somewhat of a father figure, and I am sure that is what hurt the most.

"At first, he offered me support, trying to comfort me with his words, telling me everything would be ok. But, when I started speaking about you, telling how angry I was he pushed me away and for the first time since I have known him he raised his hand to me…he told me how disappointed he was in me, that I had no right to hate you. When I asked him why he told me, told me why you got back inside your Eva…"

I paused again, knowing that once I said this, all my defences would be gone.

"You did it for me."

He remained motionless for but a moment before he nodded his ascent as he pulled me into his embrace. I returned his affections readily, no longer afraid. He kissed me passionately and I reciprocated, trying to devour his lips with my own. Knowing now was the time, I allow my hand to fall to my side, grasping the hem of the shirt I wore and in a single fluid motion pulling it away. I felt the chill of the night air brush over me, bring out goose pimples across my bear flesh. He regarded me with a hungry gaze, a look I have never seen before upon his face, yet that I would love to see again.

I rolled onto my back then, pulling him with me in the movement so we ended with him straddling my waist. I reached up to his t-shirt and pulled it over his head to expose his bare chest. I watched as he shivered ever so slightly even as my hands snaked lower and I pulled his underwear free. Now, with him lying naked above me, I took a moment to admire his body and burn the image into my memory before closing my eyes and reaching out and flicking off the light.

When I opened them once again, they adjusted quickly and soon I was able to make out his features above me. He shifted slightly, seeming moving into position for what was to come. I gently squeezed his hands to tell him I was ready and he moved swiftly down…

"Ah!"

I let out a cry at the pain of his claiming me, breaking my virginity in a single stroke. He instantly paused above me, seemingly afraid. I waited for the pain to dissipate before squeezing his hands once again, asking him to go on. He continued once more, this time more slowly. As our hips met I revelled for a moment at the feeling of having him inside of me before we began to part in preparation for the next thrust.

We quickly found our natural rhythm as I bucked my hips to meet each thrust. I could feel it, the fire rising inside of me, bringing me to my peak…

"Shinji!"

I called as his name as he lost himself inside me, sending me across my peak and leaving me lost in the throws of ecstasy. I reached up with my arms and pulled his lips to me, letting my moans slide into his mouth as he kissed me. As the sensations died away, we shifted slightly. He withdrew himself from me and turned to his side as I moved to position my back against his chest. Spooned in his embrace I closed my eyes, finally content and slipped into a dreamless sleep.

When I woke in the morning, I felt nauseous suddenly and quickly pulled away from him before running to the bathroom and vomiting into the toilet. This continued for a few minutes until I was certain that my stomach was empty. I lay there on the bathroom floor, shuddering, wondering why my body reacted in this way. Slowly, I pulled myself to my feet and stepped into the shower, hoping the warm water would wash the troubles away.

As revelled in the feeling of the water upon me I looked down, only to see the red water beneath me. Panicking I searched frantically for the source only to find dried blood upon my inner thigh…he had taken my virginity and now as I considered in the cold light of day, I saw what folly had gone unseen…we forgot to use any protection. My last period had been a while before meaning there was every chance that even now his child was growing inside me. That would spell the end of my career, they would never again allow me to pilot Eva, I would simply become his wife, I would become a nothing that would soon be forgotten about…

I stepped out of the shower before heading to my room to change, all the while those same terrible thoughts running through my head, making my temper rise. I got dressed and then departed for the kitchen, intent on replacing the lost nutrients. It was there I found him, standing in the kitchen before the stove, I could smell the scents of various meats cooking already. He turned to face me and I simply glared at him, lost in my rage. He tried to reach out to me but I knocked his hand away.

"Don't touch me, Third."

For a moment rage flickered in his eyes and before I had time to react, he struck me, the force of the blow sending me to the ground. At once, my hands flew to my face, now clutching at my injured cheek. Tears fell down my face as he stepped closer, mind in turmoil and feeling lost and afraid, I acted in the only way I knew how…

"Go away."

He fled. Nevertheless, it was not until I heard the apartment door slam did I realise my mistake.

Misato found me that way, half upright upon the kitchen floor, sobbing violently. It seemed the food was burning because she turned it off quickly before turning her attention to me.

"Asuka? What's wrong?"

I could not answer her, still haunted by the memory of my foolishness. I was the one to blame; I had come to him, I had asked him to sleep with me. All he had ever done was try to protect me and once more, I had pushed him away.

"Asuka, what happened? Where's Shinji?"

I opened my mouth to reply but was cut off when the all too familiar sounding sirens sounded, cutting off my words. Misato threw up her hands, seemingly exasperated.

"Just great! Asuka, we will talk about this later. For now, I have to get you to Nerv right away. I'm sure Shinji will make his own way, he knows what he has to do."

As Misato pulled me up and away, out of the apartment and towards her car a final thought struck me. I knew now that I might die today and if I did so I would never be able to take back what I had done, to tell him how much I cared, tell him he meant so much more to me than a one-night stand…

AN: And so with this second chapter this one-shot draws to an end, thank you for reading. In addition, special thanks go out to Mattsuoh for pre reading this chapter.

Ok, a number of you have expressed your wish for me to continue this beyond the original scope to cover the events of the battle against the 15th angel. As a thank you for the reviews I promise to attempt to continue this further although please be patient as there other stories that must be finished first. Once I rewrite 02 I will conclude this fully, hopefully to everyone's satisfaction.

As always thank you all for taking the time to review.

Hououza

Chapter preread by The Other Guy