Rating: PG-13 Simply because that's what it is.
Pairing: It's a surprise
Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation
This idea came to me one day when I realised I needed to write a Gravitation fic like I've been saying I'll do for... well, a long time. But my friend LBx was my real inspiration, so this story's dedicated to her.
Oasis
News…
Freak accident…
Why does it feel like there's water around you?
Fire…
The life boats burned…
The level just keeps rising and rising.
Too far from shore…
No boats for miles…
It's because your heart's with him. It's his.
What I mean to say…
Gone…
He took it with him to his watery grave
I'm sorry…
I'm so sorry…
You can forget about the world as he holds you in his locking embrace. The feel of that warmth seeping into your mind and body…
But only that.
The warmth is the only dam delaying the guilt from breaking through, and you're ever so afraid of drowning.
You were drowning when he found you. The waves of loss, anguish, and confusion were tiding over you, and that traitorous feeling of love (that you keep securely in your heart) was wrapped possessively over your thin body. It kept your arms locked tight crossed over your chest, and your thighs, knees and ankles wrapped so forcefully it cut and stung in the teary water.
You could do nothing but watch the distorted light fade as you sunk deeper and deeper into glacial oblivion.
You never screamed, waved, or spluttered around frantically for help. You allowed yourself to sink submissively and without a sound. You never wanted to be saved. You just wanted to hold onto that feeling. The one you promised to yourself you would never ever let go of.
And every second you drifted downward was one step closer to finding your heart once more.
But then he saved you.
You couldn't find it in yourself to leave his hold on you. You never broke away to run back to that black ocean, where your heart was calling to you with that melancholy gorgeous, torturous, sweet lullaby that would flow from a siren.
How could you ever leave that embrace when it held that biting familiarity that once made you weak at the knees, when that voice whispering sweet gibberish let you pretend he was someone else entirely?
How could you refuse that voice when it asked you to hold onto reality and to not let yourself get swept away with the tide?
So during the day when the light pierces through you, you just grip onto the world around you, acting reflexively, ignoring what your everything inside wants and pleads. And then those nights when you're the centre of everyone's attention, on a platform with all light and gazes directed at your glittering form, you pour out every fibre of what you once were, that longing for your heart, that blinding light acting as a lighthouse searching (and warning) the world around. And everyone will only be blinded by the light. Reaching out but never able to get too close.
But then when you arrive home, your sanctuary from the outside world, he comes and takes you. Reaching easily through your desperate light and gripping onto you gently, keeping you from following your heart to the bottom of sweet misery.
And you let him.
He'll lead you to your bed in the dark, those hands, body and voice letting you believe that you're with him again, the one with golden eyes and golden hair. When night falls like a veil over your eyes though, there is no golden glow, only colourless black.
And when he touches you (knowing all your hot spots), blinding colours flash in your mind like the fireworks you always wanted to see with him. You lose yourself entirely as you dance with those lights, letting those talented hands lead you further away from the black ocean and that call.
You grip back harder ignoring the guilt that call makes you feel. Sounding more and more like a scream for help as you drift farther and farther away from it.
You would grasp onto his toned back and shoulders desperately and with more force in times like these. And in times like these, you swear you can almost see his sad loving smile as he simply complies and ravishes you more forcefully and possessively.
You'll always wonder afterwards though, what his expression was when it was his older brothers name that escapes your lips like a mantra when that time comes.
He always called your name.
Oh God. How your name sounded so sweet with that voice. How it made you want to release your pent up need just hearing the sounds of pleasure that voice could make. But when that voice would call your name like that…
Oh Fuck…
He'd always hold you afterwards, cuddling and holding you, reassuring you. If someone had told you he was like this after a round in the sheets before that… incident, there's no way you'd believe them.
He always seemed the type that liked random, meaningless fucks just to pass the time.
Never the type to cuddle, never the type that held on possessively, never this type unless you were Ryuichi.
And you knew many people saw Ryuichi in you.
But it was always your name he called in that breathy voice.
That voice…
That body…
It was too cruel.
You curl into his embrace, sighing as his arms hold you tighter. He'll never ever let you return to that ocean. He'll never allow the dam to break.
And you'll let him do it.
And when your body is weary with fatigue, a yawn is formed and melded into a sigh. Your eyes slip closed and happier times flitter across your mind as sleep and the world of dreams start to take you away. A butterfly kiss is placed on your temple, and you lean into it unconsciously. The name of your fallen golden haired lover is released in a breathy whisper, and you don't know why you feel guilty when another kiss to your temple is the response.
You fall into the realm of sleep knowing he's watching you as he whispers those words of endearment into your ear. His voice sounds so genuine. It makes you want to cry. It was said in that way you heard so very rarely before (but when you heard it… it was lovely), raw feelings and raw emotions laid out for you to take and keep close. A tear rolls downward to the bed as you can't help but hate the situation.
But as sad as it is, you both chose to live this way. You both decided this path of sweet torment- your dark oasis still calling for you, and their voice trying to block out that call.
But you're so very tired, comfortable and warm up next to that body.
And it's time for you to sleep.
Fin
Well, yes, the pairing was Tatsuha and Shuichi in some very bizarre strange way. This was a challenge issued by LBx. I wanted to give her a present in the form of a story because she likes Tat/Shu and I can sympathize with her in liking pairings that are really uncommon (I have more then a few). It also actually got me to write something... and I have been in a slump. I have insomnia, so I'm constantly tired and I'm so busy with extra curricular stuff I never write anything anymore. So I hope to write more in the future, LB will nag me probably anyway . Since I'm also trying to embarrass her, I recommend her stories, she writes quite well. I may write another Gravitation fic in the future... not sure about what... but I'll see when I get there.
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but...
Constructive criticism is adored, cherished, and considered to help me improve.