Disclaimer: I don't own Yuugiou. I think if I owned it, the series would be a lot different....hey, after all, people who have seen my YGO fanart say I draw just like Takahashi...::evil grin::
A/N: Ahh...thanks for all the reviews, everyone! I feel so loved...this kind of fanfic is a first for me, and I feel great that I'm getting all sorts of wonderful feedback.
When I first decided to write this fic, I simply told myself that it would be a Mai x Shizuka fic, and that Shizuka would grow up somehow during it. I doubt I would have made it to the fifth chapter. But now I've gotten sucked into writing a fanfic so absorbed in developing Shizuka's character...it is only a fanfic, but it's exausting... and like I have said before, Shizuka-chan is turning into Honda Tohru-kun of Fruits Basket... Agh, I'm starting to talk like some revered manga-ka. Geez! I'm only writing a fanfic, it's no big deal....not like anyone cares about MY thoughts on the fic anyway...
Something I learned from a Seto x Shizuka fic that was VERY true to the Yuugiou subs -- Shizuka's first name is actually Kawai. Shizuka, the name, is actually her and her mother's surname. I'll go back and the the chapters where I made mistakes on her name as soon as I can. So, when I say "Shizuka-san", I mean Shizuka's mom. And she, of course, will call Shizuka "Kawai". Enjoy.
Her thumb flicked down on the lighter, and Shizuka-san watched, entranced almost, as the cigarette poked through her thin, colorless lips alit. She took a drag almost desperately, eyes closing deeply, as though she missed the dark pleasure of smoking.
It had been three days. Three long, silent, doubt and worry-filled days. Shizuka-san almost couldn't take it, couldn't breathe another damn day of this...another damn day of wondering if the young brunette girl was okay, if she was in danger...in pain...but...Kawai was so...unpredictable like that. One moment, she was her baby girl, her precious child...soon to be rid of her coming blindness, to be saved from it... the next she was, for instance, locking herself in the hospital room, refusing her surgery until her brother came. Shizuka-san sometimes couldn't handle the girl. Kawai was like a pin, balancing itself steadily on its head, undisturbed...until the slightest movement, the slightest disturbance rocked her and knocked her over suddenly, knocked her into her unstable thoughts, actions.
She remembered all too well the hours before Kawai's surgery. It had been, what, a week before? Kawai had locked the door, and there Shizuka-san was again, standing away from the door, smoking away as though it would make it all better, as if each musty, smoky breath she released would convince her daughter to be rational and open the door for her doctors. It wasn't at all like that, they were waiting, waiting for Katsuya-san, who wouldn't come until the later hours of the night...
She hated herself for thinking it, but it seemed that Katsuya only seemd to be the disturbances for Kawai. The blonde boy, though Kawai was convinced was what kept her stable, only knocked her over each time...and Shizuka-san couldn't stand it...all she could do was stand back, and let him play big brother...
It made Kawai so happy...
Shizuka-san had smiled, waved good-bye when Katsuya and his friend had come to take Kawai to the Battle City finals. Shizuka-san allowed herself to trust this unstable pin to its disturbance, allowed Kawai to stay with her older brother.
She allowed what she feared most for Kawai to take her away...
Kawai would...only be gone for a few days. No longer...Shizuka-san trusted Katsuya. She trusted him more than she ever had allowed herself to.
No brother would disregard his sister...forget her...
Lose her...
Shizuka-san worried...but all mothers did, right? So she shook it off. Kawai would be fine...she would return, smiling, trotting behind Katsuya... And Katsuya... he was a good boy. She knew that in her heart.
Even if he was raised by that bastard, Jonouchi....
She trusted Kawai to him... trusted her treasure to Katsuya ...But then she answered the phone that night...
"Okaasan! Okaa...san..."
Katsuya could barely speak...he was in hysterics...
"Okaasan...gomen ne...for calling so late...demo...
"Sh-Shizuka-chan's gone!!"
Kawai...gone...?
It had suddenly become hard to breathe....
"N-nani you?? You lost her?! ...Katsuya-san...!! You lost my baby...!!"
"I know..." Katsuya was crying... "I turned to her....and she...she and Mai-chan...they were gone...."
She and...Mai... gone...
Shizuka-san remembered all too well the images that flooded her mind. She saw the beautiful blonde woman entering the hospital room beside Katsuya, she saw her smiling and shaking Kawai's hand. She seemed friendly, but on a different level than everyone else...out of it...bored with what was around her...
She hated to think it...she tried not to...forced herself not to...but the idea, all the same, flooded her mind and senses, allowing no other registered thoughts...Kujaku Mai, the woman she had seen with Katsuya at the hospital...
...what if...what if it was because of her that Kawai was gone?! What if she had taken her off...?!
What if Kawai was in danger?!
Shizuka-san sighed deeply, exhaling thin wisps of smoke, eyes staring almost expressionlessly into the clouded air.
She had long since given up her own relentless crying. It had been three days, three days of endless worrying, and it didn't stop now...but everything around her had seemed to stop. Her eyes were droopy and weary from nights nearly spent sitting up and waiting for Kawai to call, enter the room, something... Her breath came slow and ragged to her, her hair was a full net of messy grease. She didn't want to move, she didn't want to do anything. She just wanted to wait, as if it was all she had the strength to do.
How could anyone do anything when their only child could be in danger...?
Her eyes closed wearily, trembling almost over her dark pools for eyes. When she could muster the strength to, they opened again, glancing around the pale, darkened, silent room.
It was...like a constant state of fear for her. A rare, calm moment would wash over her, and for a minute, she could pretend it was all right....that nothing was wrong, and she would breathe freely again...then the calamity would strike her again. Her heart would beat erratically in her chest, and worry would consume her. She hated it.
But....she would endure it. She was scared...she just wanted Kawai back...
Because Kawai would heal everything...just knowing she was safe...
Shizuka-san was weak. She couldn't move, couldn't spend a moment even to walk somewhere in this state of fear. Katsuya had set out, as worried as she was, though brave enough to look for his little sister, while his mother sat at home, a perfect wreck. But that was okay...because she trusted Katsuya...he would get her back....
Even if he was the one to lose her....
"Okaasan!"
Shizuka-san couldn't have jumped higher at that. The voice, muffled behind the hotel room door, was followed by thick knocking and a second "Okaasan!"
Katsuya...? Her heart was dancing in her chest, beating its life away in fear of what wait with Katsuya...
"H...hai...!" she replied, lips heavy and awkward. She stood slowly, feeling her heartbeat drum steadily in her ears, overpowering any other sound that dared make its way to her ears...each nerve she possessed was on fire...and she could only register one thought...
Please...Kami-sama....Let Kawai be there when I open this door...!
Aged hands took firm, though trembling hold of the cold handle, and turned lightly, pulling the barrier between her and the unforgiving outside open...
Shizuka-san found herself staring at a cheery, smiling Katsuya. His hands, light, and tanned from days gone past in Duelist Kingdom, were clamped down on the shoulders of a young brunette girl, standing in front of him...
"K-Kawai...?!" Shizuka-san gasped, happiness and relief bursting within her, washing over her.
"Hai!" Jou replied, pushing his younger sister gently into their mother's arms.
"Kawai..." She embraced her almost desperately, eyes closing in a bliss untouched for days now, before she pulled away, hands on her precious daughter's cheeks, mussing her brunette hair in hopes of finding some bruise, some mark, some utter evidence that she had been hurt... "Daijoubu? Did this Kujaku-san do anything to you...?"
"Iie!" Kawai only smiled cheerfully to her mother, face full of pure bliss, and she remained oblivious to her mother's worry. "Mai-san was very kind! She took care of me for the time I was there!"
Shizuka-san sighed, shoulders lifting as though a great weight had removed itself from her. "Thank god..." she murmured, again pulling Kawai into her arms briefly. "What were you thinking, running off from your brother?" she asked, when she pulled away.
"Ah...sumimasen!"(1) Kawai bowed to her mother, lovely brunette hair spilling across her back, shoulders and into her face. "Mai-san was kind enough to take me out into the city...and I was selfish, and she ended up missing the Finals as well because of me..." Her eyes closed gingerly, expecting anger from her mother. A sigh was all that escaped her.
"Ah...Kawai..."
Jou stared serenely at the floor, smiling gently, painfully almost, as he listened to the turn the conversation was taking.
"Well...Kawai. Come on..." Shizuka-san stood, fingers raking through her strands of graying blonde hair. "We're packing up today, and heading home as soon as we can."
"Huh?" Kawai lifted her head, wide blue eyes taking in the sight of the older woman.
"We're heading home," she repeated.
"Ano...K-Kaasan...onegaishimasu(2), let me stay with Niichan a while longer..."
"Ehh...?!" Her mother replied with surprise sopping the words.
Jou's head snapped up. "Sh..Shizuka-chan? You're staying a while longer?"
"Gomen ne..." She turned to him, fair face weighed with guilt. "Niichan..."
"Iie, daijoubu, Shizuka-chan!" he forced a smile upon his face, waving a hand nonchalantly.
"Kawai!" Her mother snapped, the beginnings of anger flushing in her aging cheeks. "Don't be selfish! We need to go home. You'll miss school..."
This place isn't good for you to be in...your brother isn't someone you should hang around...
"Ah, really, Okaasan..." Jou cut in, smiling freely. "I don't mind...besides, because of this whole mess, Shizuka-chan and I missed out on hanging out! Heh..."
Katsuya-san...
Shizuka-san sighed.
"Aa...fine..." she finally agreed.
She gave into what she feared for her baby...
Shizuka breathed a sigh of relief, smiling gently to herself as she whispered, "Doumo arigatou gozaimasu..." She stood, bowing her head slightly, before turning to her brother and closing in on the door.
"Ah, Katsuya-san!" Shizuka-san added quickly, raising a hand and beckoning him over. Shizuka watched her mother, misunderstanding. "Kawai, you go on out. And close the door behind you."
"Hai..." Shizuka paced out, doing as told. She leaned lightly against the door, sighing. She wasn't inside, but she heard...
"Katsuya-san!!"
"Hai, Okaasan...?" Jou could tell what was coming; Shizuka could tell this by his tone.
"Why did you do that?! Getting her hopes up... Katsuya-san, she needs to go back home sometime, she can't stay here forever..."
"Hai, wagata...(3)"
"Katsuya-san, listen to me!! I mean this, she is to come back here to the hotel each and every night, you understand? I don't want her to go back to your apartment, or get anywhere near your father!!!"
Shizuka looked away, into the depths of the wall before her, embarassed almost. Niichan... she sighed mentally.
He was taking the abuse for her...
"I mean it, Katsuya-san! My daughter will NOT get near him!"
"Wagata. I promise, Okaasan." Shizuka could almost imagine the boy, though bruised by his mother's words, smiling as though everything was right...
Like he could smile through any pain...
Shizuka lifted herself slowly off the door, turning to stare at it's dull gray tone before it slid open to reveal her blonde brother, smiling away like she had imagined.
And she ached for him...
His features could only soften as he saw hers. A calloused hand reached for hers, pulling her away. They walked in silence down the hall, throughout the hotel and to the exit. When they reached the noisy outside, he spoke.
"You heard it all, right?"
"Hai..." she replied, shamefully.
He chuckled softly. "Heh! Daijoubu. Shizuka-chan, Okaasan's only looking out for you. Don't look so painfully at me like that..."
She followed suite in soft laughter. "Gomen ne, Niichan...! It's just..."
Just that I feel so sorry...you've endured so much for me...
You and Mai-san both...
"Just...what?" Jou gazed cheerfully back at his sister, who only grinned and shrugged it off.
"Nothing."
"Come on, Shizuka-chan!!" he cried out into the air suddenly, like an excited young boy, squeezing her hand only tighter and sprinting through the street, arousing stares from fellow pedestrians. Shizuka only giggled lightly, following him in his childish run, his grasp of freedom...
She grinned, felt her brunette hair fly behind her, and followed him.
They were flying...
She felt like a bubble, light, bouncy, untouched by the troubles of the world. She only floated higher and higher. Even when the primary source of her guilt, namely the headstrong Mai, pulled up in her blue convertable, she could only smile brilliantly to the woman whom she had hurt so much. Mai cocked her head to one side, beckoning them in, and they did so.
Flying...
Shizuka was free. She no longer saw only darkness; she saw light. She saw everything. She didn't need Jou to pull open the car door for her, she did it on her own. When Mai revved the engine and pulled out onto the main road, she didn't just feel it, she saw it. She had to squint her eyes as the wind blew relentlessly into her face, had to turn her head about to see the buildings and the shops and even simple things, like a girl playing hopscotch on the sidewalk. She took everything in, breathed it in like her first, awakening breath, and felt it rejuvinate her, bring her to life. She was no longer walking simply, trudging on the sidewalk like the rest of the world, she was glowing, she was beyond that. She was growing wings, beautiful, feathery, angelic wings...
And she was flying...
"Ne, where do you want to go, Jou?" she heard the elegant voice of Mai speak.
"Mm..." Jou shrugged, blonde hair blowing about his tanned face. "I dunno. Let's just drive, Mai. Let's all just hang out!" He grinned to her carelessly.
"And make me waste gasoline?" she sneered, though she only smiled back. Shizuka snorted at this, cupping her mouth into her hand to suppress the noise. Mai leaned back, smiling beautifully to the young brunette.
Shizuka froze at this. It was only a second's worth of a friendly gesture, and Mai had turned back to the wheel, but Shizuka remained staring off into the air, into the flowing blonde of Mai's hair behind her.
It hit her like a calamity. Instead of only flying higher when she saw her female friend grin, it only dragged her down, wounded her newly grown wings.
Was Mai-san really smiling out of happiness?
It struck her again -- the image of the blonde woman hanging over her table that very morning, hair mussed and spilling over her delicate features, hand raked through such locks...and such anger and sadness emanating so easily from her...
Jou and Mai-san had forgiven her so easily -- and she had accepted that. Shizuka wanted no more of the matter, wanted to forgive herself as well, and be done. But something about Mai -- even though Shizuka knew she had hurt both Katsuya AND Mai -- made her think differently, like she still had so much to do about it. She had an urge inside her, a childish one, she felt, that she wanted to be stronger, reach out to the blonde woman, and take the trembling hand she offered.
She wanted to reach out and save her...
"Oi, oi!" Katsuya cried out suddenly, smacking his palms together. "I have an idea, Mai! Let's go to the KaibaLand arcade! Do you wanna go, Shizuka-chan?"
Shizuka's face brightened. "Hai! Please, Mai-san!!" she asked sweetly, leaning onto the seat of the older woman.
"Hai...hai..." she nodded boredly, earning twin grins from the siblings.
"Waii!"
Of course, it was only moments before Mai was kind enough to slam down on the brakes again, announcing their arrival. This time, Jou had learned to hold a death-grip on his seat for survival.
"We're here," Mai spoke calmly, opening her car door. Jou looked as though on the brink of insane anger.
"Oi!! Kujaku Mai-chan, ne?"
All three faces turned to the voice. Mai did especially quickly, however, metallic violet eyes flashing imminent death to the idiot who had dared add 'chan' after her name. Jou crawled out of the convertible, watching with a spark of interest...and another emotion Shizuka both noticed and could not decipher.
...possessiveness??
Mai death-glared into the approaching face of a teenage, raven-haired boy approaching with a smug grin on his pale features. "It's you right?" he continued, arching a finger in her direction. "I'm right, aren't I? Kujaku Mai-chan..."
"Don't call me Mai-chan..." Mai spoke murderously.
"I've heard about you," he spoke airily, paying her words and frightening tone of voice no mind. "You're s'posed to be a great duelist, ne? Ne? You made it all the way to the Duelist Kingdom semifinals...and you just skipped out on the Battle City Finals, huh??"
Mai's eyes twitched dangerously. Shizuka felt a fresh surge of guilt flow through her, like a hand ripping across her exposed skin and tearing at her barely healing scabs, leaving them to bleed afresh; to bleach her fair skin a sinful red. Mai would be ridiculed, wouldn't she...? No one knew...no one but Mai herself, Jou, and Shizuka...
...it was all Shizuka's fault...
The boy watched Mai's face battle it's rage, creating a pregnant pause between the group. Even Katsuya was beginning to look angered, though his face fell into surprise when all Mai replied was...
"Heh." A small chuckle to herself. The boy's face fell as well before her.
"N-nani?" he responded.
Mai looked up confidently, the murder in her eyes flowing evenly into hard revenge. "Are you questioning my ability...?" she added. "Yeah, I made it to the Duelist Kingdom semifinals. Yeah, I'm a great duelist. Yeah, I skipped out on the Battle City Finals. Is that all you're going to say? Cos, there's this duel arena inside KaibaLand..."
The boy watched in unspoken horror.
Mai's hand flicked dangerously toward her pocket, where her winning duel deck lie in predatory wait.
"...and I'm in a crushing mood today," she finished.
The boy gulped nervously, before pulling out a deck to prove his own status. "Aa..." he croaked bravely, following the woman into the KaibaLand doors. Jou smirked, smacking a fist into his palm, ready for a good fight. Shizuka watched in pure awe.
She had...wanted to protect this woman.
The two followed. Mai had lifted onto a dueling balcony, waiting for her opponent to rise himself. Her duel deck already was placed onto the board, ready to pull a vicious Harpy Lady into her control, ready to kick whomever's ass she wanted to.
Shizuka could not take her eyes off this woman.
The duel began and no sooner had Mai drawn six cards did she throw down the card to the bird-woman she relied on so much. Pink, round lips smirked, waiting for the boy to pull something extravagant. After all, she had skipped out on the Battle City finals. She must be so inferior now... Kaiba, Yugi, and Jou were too much for her, she needed a lesson taught...
She watched him summon a lowly Imp card, and only grinned more.
...or perhaps, she would be teaching a lesson today...
Shizuka looked away in embarassment, almost.
She had wanted to save this woman...she had wanted to reach out and take a trembling hand from her.
Shizuka had fallen into childish thoughts once more. She hit herself mentally. Mai would sooner save her than be saved. Mai was strong...
And Shizuka was a weak little girl...crying out to her...needing her...
Need... Shizuka tottered over the word, watching Mai duel. Her hair flowed angelically over her shoulders as she moved, eyes glittered when she watched the Harpy Lady Sisters summon, breathed a triumphant growl almost as the boy before her shivered noticeably.
Shizuka could still see this same woman standing before her, blonde hair and fair skin alit beautifully by the pale moonlight...beautiful wings glowing...the angel...
Her angel...
Something inside Shizuka flared, and she shook it off as embarassment. She liked Mai, yes...she admired her. For a dirtied little girl waiting to grow up, to watch this strong angel fight, defend her honor was wonderful, regenerating. In a small part of her she aspired to be Mai, all the same it was enough to know her, see her.
Be near her...
Whatever method she was using to fight off this surge within her was failing miserably. It pounded in her, declaring itself, making itself known. She wanted it to flow through her, blur her vision like a drug and heal her, hide her away from the world where she could see Mai and nothing else, but all the same she was rejecting it, refusing it.
I-I don't like M-Mai-san...I admire her, that's all...
It felt sinful to even look at her, wrong. She felt entirely wrong. Mai was a being far off in the clouds; unreachable. She was an angel, glowing in the night sky, and Shizuka was just a human, trying to reach her but only falling further away. And this flaring, this burning within her...that was making her think she was attracted to Mai, of all things...
It was only more childish.
Through hardship, though, Shizuka was able to snap back to her world as the boy cried out an unforgiving defeat, and Mai trotted up to Jou and Shizuka, grinning widely, and sadistically, almost.
"Way to go, Mai!" Jou cheered out, raising a hand. "That was awesome!"
"S-Sugoi desu..."(4) Shizuka stammered. She couldn't even look Mai in the eye. She felt disgusting, dirty. She wanted to hit herself right there.
In her mind she was running. Her breath was short, her energy slowly diminishing in this feeling, but she couldn't lose to fatigue. She was wrong. And she wanted to escape.
A long period of time later, she couldn't tell what measure, Shizuka found herself in the placid hours of the night, trotting behind her tall brother, their hands entwined. Everything surrendered itself to the sweet silence, the lingering glow of happiness in their faces.
Shizuka breathed in the crips, icy air, smiling. Her brunette hair rustled in her every movement, body swaying lightly as she strolled onward. Her heart was full.
"Arigatou gozaimasu...Niichan..." she murmured breathlessly into the night. Jonouchi glanced back, a serene smile pasted onto his lips.
"No prob!" he replied cheerfully. "I wanted to take you out before you left with Okaasan again. It's a gift from me."
Shizuka's lips curved into a lovely smile. Freedom overpowered her small body, and she broke free of her brother's grasp, twirling on her heels, feeling the icy air chill her skin, her hair gracefully follow her movement, arms dangling loosely at her sides. Flying...
Katsuya stopped to watch his sister, laughing lightly. "Shizuka-chan!" he called finally. "Come on, come on, we have to get you back home...!" His lips bubbled laughter. This lightened Shizuka only more.
"It was so fun, though, Niichan!" she pursued. "You were so funny, trying to play that 'Smash a Spider' game--"
"Don't you start picking on me now, too!" he whined, remembering the miserable failure.
"--I've never played so many games, Niichan. I liked the 'Dance Dance Revolution', especially."
"That's Anzu's favorite game, too," Jou noted to the younger girl.
"Hai! Mai-san was amazing, too, Niichan. That duel...I wish I could do that..."
Katsuya fell silent there, face gazing off into the distance, into the faint twinkle of house lights and buildings. Shizuka hesitated slightly in her steps, confused.
"Niichan...what are you thinking about...?" she asked quietly.
"Nothing..."
"Iie! Please, Niichan, I'd like to know. Is something wrong?"
"No...just... Mai is amazing..."
Shizuka froze entirely there, halting, surrendering to the cold air that would swallow her easily. "Na...ni?"
Niichan...what...?
"I...think she is, at least..." he continued, stopping as well, staring wistfully off into the penetrating night sky, brown eyes focused on the tiny pinpricks that were stars in the sky. "I'm sure she doesn't think much of me, but..."
A chilly breeze found the two, rustling their clothes and pale hair. Everything was bubbling in Shizuka again, everything she had tried to suppress, all rising to the surface again...as well as a new feeling she couldn't place a finger on...
A feeling to reject everything her brother was saying...
"I really like her...Shizuka-chan..."
"Niichan...you...have a crush on Mai-san...?"
Jou grinned, in embarrassment. "Hai..."
Shizuka looked away, a blush spreading across her fair skin.
Katsuya took her hand again, a new expression placed on his face. "Gomen ne, Shizuka-chan! I guess...I just needed to say that, to someone. Come on, now, we need to get you back to the hotel."
"Mm..." she agreed next to silently.
Falling...
Shizuka felt torn apart. She refused to admire Mai-san in the way her brother did; It felt...wrong... but something was taking ahold of her, this feeling was weighing her down.
She was afraid...
Everything had become complicated. To give in to this unwanted feeling was to face an angry Katsuya who loved the same woman, to run away was...
...to fall, break her angelic wings...
She hated this. She hated changes... she wanted everything to stay the same, where she would've lived her life with her mother, occassionally seeing her brother, spending a few days in Tokyou. She would see her friends, work hard through Middle School, forget this all...
Or rather, better to never have known Mai-san in the first place.
Everything was breaking away into a confused picture, one she understood, but did all but that at the same time. She wanted to explore herself further, give in to this feeling. At the same time she wanted to run away and never have to feel it again. She wanted to be free. She wanted to know.
She wanted to fly...
Shizuka gulped nervously.
I think...I'll...talk to Mai-san...
To be continued.
1) Sumimasen -- Sorry, pardon me, forgive me.
2) onegaishimasu -- Though I guess it means "please", it also means, "I'm asking/begging you".
3) wagata -- "I understand" or "I know".
4) sugoi desu -- "It was amazing."
A/N: Sorry this took so long, a lot has been happening. It was a hard chapter to write as well.
Something about it though, is that it deals with something I've been going through while writing this. The thing is, I've gotten to liking someone whom I consider just a friend, and hoped I would never consider him anything more. I hated myself at first, because I felt disgusting for liking him rather than some other guy, but it's gotten to the point where I can't lie to myself about it. It's hard, to admit you like someone you shouldn't. That's...kind of where what Shizuka's feeling comes from.
I have something else to say. This may or may not happen while I'm writing this story, but most likely it will. See, there's a story on FictionPress (called Kuro Shouri, for the curious ones) that my friend and I are working on. Within one or two chapters, it will FINALLY be reaching the climax, and I promised him I'd write them. There may be quite a few chapters. This will slow down my work on this story, but I promise I'll try not to take so long. Just a warning ahead of time, so you guys don't yell at me for taking too long.
Please review!
Review Corner:
Tamara Raymond -- Ah, yes... I guess I'm just used to my parents thinking that 'justifying' is arguing....and thanks for all the praise! You're the only reviewer who told me how to make my fic better (through realistic terms... ::glances at Kohako::), and you're satisfied with my latest chapter. That just feels great.
I was afraid I overdid what Shizuka went through in that chapter. It made me think that I had only made her seem even MORE childish, rather than showing her growing up. Or rather, I thought I was just making her even more OOC. But I did okay...::gasps hungrily at the air:: That just means I must sacrifice yet another ten years of my life for the next chapter now....thanks for the review...
Innamorta -- Ah, don't worry! Criticism only helps me, so by all means, tell me what I've messed up. And thanks for help on Shizuka's name. I have learned from reliable sources (not only the Seto x Shizuka fic I mentioned above...) that Kawai is actually her first name. It's weird, but it fits I guess. Even though, from watching subbed anime, I've learned that Kawai means "frightening", "afraid", and things of that sort. I'm sorry that I'm using so much japanese, but I just feel like I need to. I read a great fic with Shizuka in it, that had a LOT of japanese. Though it may be dissmissed as fangirl japanese (which struck me as the over use of "kawaii" and "baka"), it gives it a realistic feel, and fleshes out a character better than their english translations, I feel. Again, thanks, though!
Yami no Marik -- Yes, this pairing is incredibly rare, even I haven't read anything on them. I just love the pairing to death...::sweat drops:: Mai x Anzu is pretty good... and that's great that you may write a Mai x Shizuka fic! I hope you do! This pairing is so great, I hope it becomes more popular, even if it never measures up to pairings like Mai x Anzu... There's not much to know about Shizuka, from what I've seen. She's Jou's little sister, his inspiration...Eh...::tries to think of something else:: Well, that's not the important part! She's a cute little character, and that's why she's great! Heheheh....
elsiey -- It is cute, isn't it!! ::grins widely:: Ah, don't worry, I won't abandon this fic, no matter how much I want to. This is a difficult fic to write, but where would I be if I gave up! ::thumps chest in defiance:: Thanks for the lovely review. I'll be sure to update, and finish the story, no matter how hard it gets to write!
Dark Assailant -- Wow...I forgot about that. Gomen nasai! The majority of the time, I am quite open-minded, and mature enough to just stay out of what I don't like, but sometimes I just can't. I'm really sorry about your friend's work, I'll be happy to delete my review and apologize to her. Please, feel free to flame me and tell me what a horrid bitch I am, because, it's very true. I have a problem with OC stories, because they usually end up as Mary Sues. And as for SakuSasu? It seems all I see for the pairing is self-insertion, crappy fluff, or whatnot, when I personally feel that it should be angst and nothing else. I can't stand it because of that. If I could find a fic where almost the entire story is angst, unrequited love, and with little to no fluff or sap, I think I might like it. Again, I'm sorry.
I'm glad, though, that you like my fic. It makes me feel bad to know that you came to get revenge for your friend, and ended up liking my work anyway. It makes me feel worse. And your opinions, as well as everyone else's, are very important. Again, I'm sorry about the flame. But still, thanks for the review. I'm glad at least you were mature...unlike myself... ::punishes herself::