Author's Note: This is most likely going to be one of the most insane and on-crack (not literally) fanfics for Saiyuki that you will read. This fic was inspired by one of my best friends and her wacky antics. After watching a few episodes with her, we joked around about how interesting it would be to have her show up. Eventually, I decided to write a fanfic on it.

Also Note: This is NOT, by any means, a Mary Sue fic. What this means, is that I did not put my friend and I into the story for the men to fall madly in love with us. This is just a S&G story.

Warning: It might be a wise idea to take a long break between the chapters to either try to understand what the hell you just read or to stop from laughing so hard. I don't want to be blamed for any mental or physical suffering you receive by reading this.

Chapter One Story Note: For those who don't know or realize it, Gojyo is referred to as "Kappa" quite often. In Japanese folklore, a Kappa is known for drowning people for no reason. The only way to stop it, is to bow down to it traditionally and it will bow back. It has a bowl of water on its head and when it bows, the water spills out and it becomes disoriented. The only other way known to stop a Kappa, is to write your name on a cucumber and through it at the water demon.

CHAPTER 1: EVENTFUL ENCOUNTER

It was an extremely and unusually hot day. The Sanzo gang rode in Jeep slowly towards a town, continuing with their usual antics.

"You damn Monkey! Give me back my cigarettes!" Gojyo tried to reach unsuccessfully against Goku's foot as the little demon shook the Kappa's pack over his head with a wide grin. Sanzo was in his usual shotgun spot with his forehead dug deep into his palm. "Hakkai, I beg of you, please, do something to keep me sane," he sighed. Hakkai smiled his usual smile and veered Jeep to the side, causing Gojyo to topple out. He stepped on the brakes and looked back, "Oh my, it seems Gojyo forgot his seatbelt."

The water sprite groaned and sat up slowly, "Ugh... what the hell'd I land on?" He rubbed his head and turned around to see a young female staring up at him. Her long reddish hair was tied back in a ponytail and her bright green eyes stared up at him curiously. "Ha ha, stupid Kappa! You landed on a girl!" Goku giggled insanely.

"A Kappa?" the female was shocked... so shocked in fact that she scrambled up behind another female standing nearby. Her purple hair was tied back in a tight bun and her own green eyes were narrow as she sighed. The redhead immediately thrust out a cucumber at him, "Don't drown me please!"

The Sanzo gang sat there in silence, blinking in confusion. The other female shook her head and sighed, "Moen, he's not going to drown you. We're in the middle of a dirt road."

The smaller girl blinked herself, "Oh." She threw the cucumber at him anyway. It bounced off his head and into his lap. "Yay, I win! 10 points!" she giggled happily and wiggled the other girl's arm. Hakkai stepped out of Jeep and helped Gojyo to his feet. "Are you alright... Moen, was it?" he asked her politely. She stared at him for a few seconds, still gripping the other girl's arm. Within a split-second she was at his side, wrapping herself around one of his arms. "Ooo, you're pretty," she smiled happily.

A small sweatdrop tumbled down the side of his forehead, "You sure are friendly."

"I'm sorry," the other girl started, "She has a tendency to cling..." Sanzo stepped out of the car and walked to Hakkai's side. He studied the situation and finally asked, "How do we get her off?"

"I like to use the little spray for laundry that helps for non-cling. She slides right off."

"Chari, don't tell them that," the small girl whined and hugged the calm demon tighter. Goku stayed in his seat, turned around and arms folded over the back of Jeep with a wide grin, "I like her, she's as air-headed as Gojyo."

"Shut up, stupid," Moen stuck her tongue out at the Monkey demon.

"I'm not stupid, you are!"

"You're better at it, stupid!"

"Well, you're stupider!"

Moen stopped and blinked at him, "That's not even a word, dumbass!"

"It is too, stick!"

"Actually Goku," Hakkai interrupted, "She's quite right. 'Stupider' is not a word."

Chari sighed and put a hand to her forehead, "Just shut up."

Sanzo looked at her amazed, "Thank you!"

She glanced back at him, "Whatever, I'm used to it. I guess I have a higher tolerance for hyperactivity." She walked over to Gojyo and picked up the cucumber at his feet. She then dusted it off slightly and then put it back into her basket of veggies. "Chari! Don't take his cucumber! He'll kill you!"

Chari stared at Moen, "What the hell are you talking about?! Does he look dangerous?"

Moen clung to Hakkai's side and was silent for a moment, "Not really... he looks like a pervert." The Sanzo gang was speechless once again, especially since Hakkai was not free to hold back the enraged Gojyo. The kappa walked briskly over to Moen's side and grabbed the back of her shirt. "Why you little... ouch! Damn it!" Before he realized it, she had turned in his grasp and sunk her teeth into his hand. "You taste like a pervert too," she said through gritted teeth.

He shook his arm, "Get off! You're drooling all over my arm." His face scrunched in disgust. She grinned at him widely, leaning back against Hakkai in satisfaction with drool lining her bottom lip. "You may be a pervert, but I like you anyway! But I like the pretty one more," she grinned up at Hakkai. Hakkai looked down at her, a crippled smile lining his own face. A thought raced through his mind: "Buddha, what did I do to deserve this?"

Meanwhile, Sanzo, Goku, and Chari watched in amazement at the stupidity performing in front of them. Goku's jaw dropped when Moen called Gojyo a pervert. He immediately grabbed his tomach and let out roars of laughter. A nerve popped on Sanzo's forehead and he slammed his foot down on the monkey king's groin. Chari watched him do so out of the corner of her eye, still keeping watch over her spastic friend. "That's not very nice... uh, who are you, by the way," she suddenly realized she had not caught their real names.

After groaning for a second or two, the short boy spoke up right away, "I'm Goku! By the way, can I have that cucumber?" Sanzo's fan came swiftly, whacking the monkey over the back of his head. "Ow! What'd you do that for, Sanzo? I'm hungry and none of us can cook worth shit!" Goku said, wrapping his arms around his head.

"Sanzo?" Chari questioned, "As in one of the five enlightened ones? Oh, just my luck..."

"Excuse me?" Sanzo cocked any eyebrow.

"I heard your group enjoys killing demons."

"Your point being?"

She glanced at Moen and then back at him quickly, "Never mind."

"Um, excuse me! I really hate to interrupt, but could you maybe get her off of me?" Hakkai asked politely.

Chari glanced over again, "Uh sure." She began to dig through the sack she was carrying. "Shit."

Another sweatdrop fell from Hakkai, "What?"

Chari scratched at the side of her forehead with her index finger and let out an embarrased chuckle, "I seem to have forgotten my non-cling..."

"Oh wonderful," Hakkai said with a smile. The kappa fell to the ground in bouts of laughter. Moen reached out with her leg and kicked him very close to his pride. A yelp escaped his mouth and he curled up quickly. "Man, that girl rocks!" Goku beamed. Chari simply shook her head. She turned towards Sanzo, "Could you take us into town and I'll get my friend off yours."

"Very well, we will."

"Chari!" Moen shouted out, "I have to pee!" A whimper came suddenly from her throat. "Oh good," Chari put her head into her palm.

"How delightful..." Hakkai shuddered, almost ready to break out in tears.

(End chapter one – I hope you liked it enough to read and review. Thanks!

SquirrelySpeedBump)