Disclaimer: I don't own any of the LOTR characters. If I did, I wouldn't be posting here. So there you go! If you see an elven name that's not from LOTR then I took one of my friends' names and stuck it in a name generator. Enough said.
Chapter 2:
After an all-too-short walk, Legolas found himself at the humble abode of the healer. Mustering all his courage, he opened the door without knocking and was immediately greeted by the healer's young female assistant. She smiled warmly and said, "How wonderful to see you this morning, Your Highness. The healer will be with you shortly." Legolas nodded absent-mindedly by way of acknowledgment and took a seat as close to the door as he could manage. He studied every detail of the grain of the wooden walls while he contemplated all of the places that he would rather be than here. He was barely halfway through his list when he heard himself being called again, this time by the healer himself.
The healer is not that bad, Legolas thought, if I could spend some time with him on the archery range, or in a pub. But, unfortunately, they were in the healer's office. As always, the healer sat down on a low stool and patted a long couch by his side. "Lay down, dear boy, and make yourself comfortable." Legolas had no idea how old the healer was, but after about eight or nine thousand years, what's the point of even keeping score? Legolas dejectedly did as he was told and "made himself comfortable" by way of getting on the couch and fidgeting until it seemed rude to fidget any more.
To get things started, the healer said, "How do you feel? Has there been any change in your condition?"
Legolas sighed deeply and replied, "No, no I don't think so. I really thought that I had the problem under control after our last...visit...but unfortunately I have experienced several...episodes...since then."
The healer nodded thoughtfully and said, "And how does that make you feel?"
Legolas' all-time least-favorite question. But Legolas gritted his teeth and answered, "It makes me feel like I don't have any control over my own life! These, these...women...suddenly appear in my forest and I always end up sleeping with them. I enjoy it at the time, but it is not what I really want. I just feel so...used. And what kind of example am I setting for my father's subjects? I am a mighty elven warrior and member of the Fellowship, not some common call-elf!"
Legolas looked away from the healer, but continued, "Sometimes I am able to resist for a while, but so often I am stricken at first sight. I am drawn to them as if by some unseen force." He stared intently at the wall, as if it was the source of his troubles. And after a pause, Legolas continued with what was really bothering him.
"I am constantly bringing these women back to the palace, and if it wasn't bad enough for my father to see them, all of my acquaintances in Middle Earth are always there for a feast or a royal occasion, or some such nonsense. They have their own lives—why are they always in my palace when one of these women shows up? My father loves to entertain, but it simply takes up too much of his time. He has a kingdom to think of! And what of my friends? I always end up enlisting the help of one of my friends to go on a quest...How many times has Gimli come with me to rescue one of these foul temptresses?"
The healer continued to listen with interest, but did not want to interrupt Legolas because he could sense that they were making important progress.
The more Legolas said, the more he could not hold back. Talking faster and faster, all of his burdens spilled out. "And if that was not bad enough, all sorts of other jilted lovers that I never even knew I had show up! It seems as though every five minutes I am getting engaged, or breaking off an engagement... And children. Don't even get me started on the subject of children!" He moved his head so that he was staring at the stone ceiling and continued, "I know that my father wants me to produce an heir, but all of these illegitimate children cannot fulfill that purpose. I do not even know the names of all my children! Some of them I have never even seen!"
Legolas hung his head in shame and said, more quietly now, "I am so used to helping those in need. Perhaps I am simply too weak to resist. Or unable to discern those who are truly needy from those who are not. My skills could be put to use in the defense of our kingdom, but instead I fritter away my time here."
After a short pause, Legolas continued, getting increasingly more angry. "The details are a little bit different each time, but these women are always from some far-away land, and they've endured some sort of personal tragedy like losing their family, or being abused. And they are perfectly, impossibly beautiful! Sometimes they are disguised as elven maidens, and sometimes they are of the race of Men. I can understand that happening once or twice, but every week? And so many of them are named Mary Sue! Where do these women come from, and why are people in their land so unimaginative with names?"
The healer nodded again and said, "The issue here is not where these women come from, but how you are going to handle your next encounter. And what will you do?
Legolas took another deep breath and said, as if reading from a script, "I will learn to say no."
The healer nodded in encouragement and said, "That is very good, Legolas. And what else will you do?"
Legolas seemed less certain beyond "no", but he ventured, "I...I will recognize all these traits that I have mentioned and not allow myself to be involved with women who exhibit them. If it looks too good to be true, it probably is."
The healer seemed satisfied with this result, and thus closed the small notebook in which he had been taking notes and stood up, saying, "Well, my dear boy, I do believe that we have made some important progress here today. You understand that you are in a self-destructive pattern and you have identified ways to recognize when you are about to fall back into the same pattern."
Legolas rose from the couch with much effort and looked morose as he headed for the door. Just as he was about to pass back through the waiting area, the healer stopped him with a reassuring pat on the shoulder, saying, "You can beat this. I know you can."
With that, Legolas' session was over and he headed back out into the midday sun to make his way home. He did not want to admit to himself that he felt better after saying those things openly. He just wanted to get back to the familiarity of the archery range, where he could solve his problem with a bow and arrows, the way it should be.