Disclaimer: I do not own this story, these characters or anything that was ever mentioned in Harry Potter. J.K. Rowling is the lucky one who can say that she owns it.
Summary: Post Hogwarts. Ron and Hermione haven't been on speaking terms for five years. What happens when Hermione is kidnapped by a powerful wizard and Ron is assigned the task of returning her?
A/N: I like this story and I hope that you like it as well. Enjoy! :)
The Fireplace of a Felon
Chapter 1: Prologue
It is unsure how the row began. One minute the three Gryffindors were talking peaceably about the upcoming "Graduation" (as Hermione put it) of Hogwarts and the next Ron and Hermione seemed scarcely short of blows. It is only sure how said row ended. This time it ended differently; this time neither Ron nor Hermione would speak to each other; this time, they would never make up. Here is how it ended:
"Ron I think you better go down to he- - because I think I hear your daddy Lucifer calling you! Oh what's that?" taunted Hermione propping a hand to her ear as if she was listening to something, "He says he needs you to polish his horns."
The words left Ron abashed, He—who was never clever enough to come up with good comebacks—was surprised to hear himself retort just as fiercely, "Well of course his horns need polishing after having to wipe your butt all day. After all, he wouldn't be known as Satan without you to guide his footsteps."
They continued to trade remarks until they became hard to think up and they were left merely fishing for insults. Their argument then sounded more like that of two grade-schoolers than that of two Seventh years about to graduate.
"Fart face!"
"Booger brain!"
"Sleaze ball!"
"Dino droppings!"
"Toe Fungus!"
Then, when they even ran out of these, came the insults that neither really, truly believed and neither would forget. They insulted the one thing about each other that neither one could control, and that was the most sensitive spot of their hearts.
"You're so poor your robe won't even come down to your ankles!" Hermione scoffed.
"Ron's face, if possible, became increasingly redder. "Oh yeah? Well at least I'm decent enough to wear robes...you disgusting mudblood."
A/N: Please review! I love reviews! Don't make me beg. I know what they said seems nasty, but it had to be drastic enough that they wouldnt talk to each other for 5 years.