Chapter 4:
Hansel and Gretel A.K.A. Gnomes Eat Soap
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If you didn't notice...I replaced last chapter's notice with some randomness (since today's my birthday, it's a little birthday...thing XD)
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Agi: MWAHA!!
All: .....
Agi: Guess which fairy tale you guys are gonna embarass yourselves doing next?!
Kuwabara: MELON!!!
Agi: Close...but no. We're gonna do--
Karasu: Hey, did you know that melon spelled backwards is NOLEM?!
Agi: Ahem...we're doing....HANSEL AND GRETEL!!
Karasu: NOLEM! NOLEM! NOLEM!
Agi: So what do you guys think?
All: *moan*
Agi: Great! *passes out all the scripts*
Karasu: *is given the part for the evil witch* TT_TT Why do I always have to be the villian?!
Yusuke: O_o The fairy godmother was a villian???
Kurama: *glares at Yusuke*
Yusuke: Oh yes, of course she was...^_^;;
Agi: Once upon a time, there was a poor old wood-cutter and his wife...
Hiei: I am NOT a poor old wood-cutter.
Kurama: I'm a girl...AGAIN?!
Agi: Ahem...they had two children. The boy was named Hansel...
Kuwabara: *looks at his feet* Cool! I have shoes made from dead trees! :D
All: ..........
Agi: Aaaaaand...the cute little girl was named Gretel...
Yusuke: *hiding behind a tree* I am NOT coming out wearing this!!!!
Agi: Come on Yusuke...You're costume isn't that bad...
Yusuke: Wanna bet? *steps out from behind the tree*
All: O.O
Yusuke: *blushes*
Agi: Umm...well...umm...I don't remember your costume being that...revealing...*shields eyes*
Kuwabara: *wolfwhistles*
Agi: Who's been tampering with the costumes?!
Karasu: *cackles evilly*
Agi: Ok...nevermind. Let's proceed.
Yusuke: WAIT!! Aren't you gonna let me get get changed?!
Agi: Hmm...I suppose...*shoves a barrel over Yusuke* CHANGE!!
Kuwabara: *points* Hey...I have wooden shoes...and now you have a wooden...CONTAINER!
Yusuke: -_____-;;;;;
Agi: Anyways, the family was very poor...
Kurama: Wow! I just won the lottery!
Agi: The parents could barely get by with their part-time jobs as mimes...
Hiei: Arrrr...Avast ye mateys!
Kurama: Hoist the sails! ^-^
Agi: I said MIMES...not pirates.
Hiei: I HATE MIMES!!!
Agi: ...
Yusuke: I don't remember pirates OR mimes in Hansel and Gretel...
Agi: Hmm...what about lion tamers?
Yusuke: No.
Agi: Choreographers?
Yusuke: No!
Agi: ............ninjas?
All: NO!!!!!
Agi: FINE! THEY DIDN'T HAVE JOBS. AT ALL. THEY WERE LAZY HOBOS THAT ROAMED THE TUNDRA SELLING FIRE EXTINGUISHERS TO THE BLIND. SO THERE. *pants*
All: o_O
Agi: And due to their lack of money, they couldn't afford to buy food for their children anymore...
Kurama: *throws gourmet dinner out the window* Oh well...I guess they'll just have to eat sticks.
Agi: Their children were such burdens that their parents started plotting a way to get rid of them...
Hiei: *whips out a flamethrower*
Agi: NOT LIKE THAT!!
Hiei: ;_; *lights a match*
Agi: The wife suggested to take the children into the middle of the forest and leave them there, so that they would never come back...
Kurama: Hey kids! We're going on a SAFARI!! ^_-
Agi: But their father felt sorry for them...
Hiei: DEATH TO THE CHILDREN!!
Agi: Luckily, Hansel and Gretel overheard their parent's evil plot...
Yusuke: *flips through his script* Where the hell are we?!
Kuwabara: *snore*
Agi: Hansel was very smart and devised a way to get back home after they were abandoned...
Kuwabara: *skips through the garden* Hmm...*picks up some pebbles* I think these little white thingies are going to come in handy when our parents leave us for dead in the middle of the forest...*shoves the pebbles in his pocket*
Agi: The next morning, the mother and father put their plan into action...
Hiei: HEY KIDS!! You better run while you've got the chance!!
Agi: They were going to take Hansel and Gretel into the forest to collect firewood...
Kurama: Come along children, we're going to gather flammable items from the forest.
Yusuke: I'll grab the squirrel nets!
Agi: And so they set off into the woods, the parents not knowing the children had plotted a way to return...
Yusuke: Hey Kuwabara, you've been dropping those pebbles as we've been going along...right?
Kuwabara: Pebbles?
Yusuke: O.O Those "white thingies" you got from the garden!
Kuwabara: OH YEAH! The white thingies! Yeah! They were yummy.
Yusuke: O_O?!?!?!?! You ATE the PEBBLES?! How are we supposed to get back now?!?!?!
Kuwabara: Hmmm...*digs around in his pocket* LOOKIE!! *pulls out a mound of fuzzy stuff* We can leave a trail of ducklings instead!
Yusuke: Ducklings?! Why were you keeping ducklings in your pocket???
Kuwabara: *squeezes them* They are so kyooot!!! ^^
Yusuke: -_-;;;;
Agi: When they reached their destination, the mother and father lit a fire and told the children to sleep while they went to go chop wood...
Hiei: Ok kiddies, now take a nap and hopefully you'll roll into the fire in your sleep...
Agi: And so Hansel and Gretel fell asleep by the fire, and when they awoke their parents were gone...
Yusuke: Yay! Freedom at last!
Agi: But they were able to find their way home buy following their trail of...ducklings...
Kuwabara: Careful not to step on any Urameshi!!
Agi: Hansel and Gretel returned home much to the suprise of their parents...
Kurama: You stupid kids! You weren't supposed to come back! *beats Yusuke and Kuwabara with a broom*
Agi: The children got to stay at home, but a little while later the parents planned to get rid of them yet again...
Hiei: *stands next to the road with Yusuke and Kuwabara* FREE CHILDREN!!!
Agi: And just as before they set off into forest...
Yusuke: Ok Kuwabara, you DID bring something to mark a trail with, right?
Kuwabara: Yup! *points to the wagon full of cannonballs being pulled being him*
Yusuke: *bangs head against a tree*
Agi: And once again, Hansel and Gretel fell asleep by the fire that was built...
Kuwabara: *gets chased by a skunk*
Agi: When morning came and the children were to go home, they found that the trail they had left was gone...
Yusuke: WHERE THE @&$% IS THE TRAIL?!?!
Kuwabara: Looks like all the little birdies ate all those cannonballs we left behind.
Yusuke: O_o
Agi: But they didn't give up hope...they would make it back somehow...
Yusuke: WE'RE GONNA DIE!!!! *rocks back and forth*
Agi: They wandered the woods for days, and soon became weary from hunger...
Kuwabara: I'm so...WEIRD!! *collapses* x_x
Yusuke: WEARY! Not weird.
Agi: At one point they spotted a strange little man...
Kuwabara: A GNOME!! LET'S EAT IT!! *goes to chase it*
Yusuke: *grabs him* Wait. Let's follow the little cretin. Maybe he'll lead us to his herd or something.
Agi: So Hansel and Gretal followed the little gnome man until it led them to a house--
Karasu: Wigwam.
Agi: A wigwam...made of--
Karasu: Soap.
Agi: A wigwam made of soap?? o.O
Karasu: YES! *skips away*
Agi: Ok then...the gnome led them to a wigwam made of soap.
Gnome: *begins eating the wigwam*
Kuwabara: Look! An edible...RESIDENCE!! *goes to eat the wigwam*
Yusuke: *goes also*
Agi: As they were eating the soap wigwam, they heard a voice coming from inside. "Nibble, nibble, gnaw, Who is nibbling at my little house?" it said.
Karasu: Nibble, nibble, gnaw...WHO THE &*(% IS EATING MY HOUSE?!
Agi: The wind, the wind, The heaven-born wind" the children answered.
Kuwabara: WE ARE! WE'RE EATING YOUR HOUSE!
Agi: Hansel and Gretel continued eating the soap, then all of a sudden a strange old lady came hobbling out the door.
Karasu: *steps outside and falls down the front steps*
Yusuke and Kuwabara: O_o
Karasu: *dusts himself off* Ahem...why hello dear children. Please do come inside...
Yusuke: No. You scare me.
Karasu: But I'm so lonely~ *grabs Yusuke and Kuwabara and starts dragging them inside* Must...have...GUESTS....
Agi: The old woman made them a feast and gave them clean beds to sleep in...
Yusuke: These beds aren't clean...
Agi: The woman was only pretending to be so kind. She was really an undercover chef working for McDonald's...
Karasu: Would you like *twitch* FRIES with that?!
Agi: She planned on fattening the children and making them into cheeseburgers and milkshakes...
Yusuke: Ewww...
Agi: The old woman locked the Hansel and Gretel in cages and fed them until they were fat enough to be cooked.
Yusuke: I am NOT fat!!!
Kuwabara: *eats more soap*
Agi: Then it came time to cook the children...
Karasu: But I don't have an oven...
*an oven falls out of the sky and lands on Karasu*
Kuwabara: How convenient!
Yusuke: And look! Our cages magically opened! ^___^
Agi: Hansel and Gretel ran out of the house and back into the forest...
Karasu: *crawls out from under the oven* Wait a minute!! Aww...screw it.
Agi: And soon enough they made it home again...
Hiei: Damn...don't they ever quit?
Kurama: So, children what did you bring home with you?
Yusuke and Kuwabara: *thrust out handfuls of soap*
Hiei and Kurama: WE'RE SAVED!!
Agi: Umm...and so they lived happily ever after?
All: *nod*
Agi: THE END.
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In case you didn't notice...that's not exactly how the real story goes ^^;; I took a few liberties with the plot ^____^ And as for requests, don't worry, I shall get to them ^^