A/N
Gee, thanks for all comments, I'm getting all embarrassed now. Hmm, I think I'm gonna take some pictures tomorrow night and fix a new page on Saturday and that, but I'll still have time to upload chapters.

Pleione – And here it comes.

rosiegirl – Same for you.

Lady of Masbolle – Well, first of all I was listening to most of these songs when writing and felt that they fitted with the chapter, sometimes I don't have any lyrics in the end of the chapters just because I didn't listen to anything fitting and didn't care about finding any. And then I checked for the lyrics by just searching after the song, or when it comes to Nightwish, checking at where they have all lyrics. And don't worry about short reviews, fun enough to get anyway :D

Tricia-chan - Hehe, can just imagine, Harry being put into a totally empty room (again), locked up, not even any clothes (those could be portkeys) but by Dumbledore this time. Madness, from the ashes to the fire (or however you say that in english).

Evaisy – Thanks, and now finally I got an explanation to LoM's statement "I can't believe this only has 16 reviews!" the other day, most have obviously died of heart attacks as you feared. Good, my evil plan is set in motion for world domination, hehehe, uhm, did I write that? Dang.

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Dumbledore walked slowly closer to Harry's bed. He stopped on Harry's right side who looked up at that old happy face now with several tears running down.

"It.. it is you" he said. "You are alive..."

Harry wanted to say something but even if he could have said anything he wouldn't know what. He just looked up, being reminded of so much by seeing his headmaster's face. Both happiness and sadness.

"I... I had almost lost hope since they found what seemed to be your body. I, I started to believe that we had lost you forever. I was blaming myself for not, keeping you safe enough. Not caring about you enough."

Harry looked up at Dumbledore, he didn't care about his excuses.

"He doesn't really care about me... he just wants me to be alive so I can defeat Voldemort for him" he thought.

Dumbledore continued to talk.

"Harry, as soon as you touched the portkey Moody discovered your absence in your bedroom. He apparated straight to me and a search started. But we had no idea where you were, the Death Eaters didn't even tell us anything about you. No threats, no demands, no pictures of you when they did this to you" Dumbledore watched over all Harry's wounds. "And then the rumours aroused, the prison breakout. Newspapers writing about the presumed death of you. Life has never been harder for us..." Dumbledore went silent and just watched out into thin air.

"Then they found what was said to be your body. We were brought to see if it really were you. We, I did not know what to do at that moment. The next weeks were just a slow searching as there were attacks. Random attacks, we could not capture any Death Eaters to interrigation. Could not trace them, we could just sit idly and hoping on something. And then school started, had never been that empty. Some students had lost close relatives, there were even missing students. Hope had never been that far off before, not even during the first war" he sighed and looked back down at Harry again.

"I have arranged a transfer to Hogwarts Harry. Poppy will be able to heal your wounds faster and you will be safer there. I think it is best to keep your news about being alive secret for a while. For you, to give you some time of peace and quiet. But if I know the wizarding community right the rumours will spread and soon there is going to be reporters all over Hogwarts" Dumbledore smiled down at Harry who understood that Dumbledore knew about his dislike of being in the center of attention.

The day passed slowly as Dumbledore told him about things that had happened in his absence while walking around with him in a wheelchair. But in fact Harry didn't hear a word of what was said. He was using this opportunity of fresh air again to think, mostly dark thoughts.

Dumbledore seemed so happy about Harry being alived but Harry didn't understand if it was because of the prophecy or his love for him.

He told him how they would move him safely to Hogwarts, all under cover. They would use a van to begin with. In case Voldemort could detect portkeys and apparates. But this van would work like the Knight Bus. After being far away from Voldemort's headquarters they would jump over to Scotland. And then around 10pm they would reach Hogwarts with Order members on brooms watching over the van and scout ahead. With the cover of night they would take him to the infermary where he would stay until healed enough to do things on his own. What would happen after that Dumbledore didn't know or wouldn't say.

Dumbledore had to leave to arrange for the trip as Harry was put back down in his bed. He did feel a lot better physicly but felt mentally sick. He just lay watching the ceiling and windows, wondering what he should do. He didn't want to go back to his old life because he knew that it would never be the same. There was so much he wanted to be different that he would never get in this life.

After a nurse fed him with dinner he was taken to a bathroom. He was amazed by how well made these bathrooms were, even he who could barely use his arms and only had one leg to use could do his needs in there without help. He looked up and noticed a mirror. He'd been avoiding mirrors, scared of what he might see but couldn't resist this time.

He saw the same old green eyes looking back at him, uncontrolled black hair, a pale and really bony face from the starvation he had been through. There were plasters on different places on his face and a bandage going over his forehead around his head. Also covering his old scar.

His chest had some big bandages around it too, holding some ribs in their right positions. His stomach also had plasters and bandages covering wounds and also more scars. His right arm wasn't visible thanks to the cast covering it, he remembered how Bellatrix broke the bones in his right arm both above and below the elbow. His left arm only had cast above the elbow and over it preventing him from bending his arm. His right arm was also positioned with the elbow bent by 90 degrees.

On the front of his throat he noticed had a web of dark red veins.

Later that same day around 7pm Dumbledore returned, there was still an hour until they would leave. Harry again had a pencil and a paper under his right hand. He first thought Dumbledore was going to ask him questions about what had happened during the last months and had again become rather anxious but it was later apparent that Dumbledore wanted him to ask the questions.

After a while during which both of them just watched out into nothing Harry remembered the dream he had last night.

'Last night I had a dream, in the end I heard your voice and a phoenix singing, was it really you coming into the dream?' He wrote and Dumbledore looked down at the paper when hearing the scribbling sound, he smiled softly.

"Ah yes, I was on my way here when I felt someone using Legilimens, I decided to see what was happening and saw that dream Voldemort had planted in you."

'Was it you who made him leave?'

"Noo, Harry" he answered and chuckled quietly. "That was you and only you, All I could do was to say things and well, plant some singing from Fawkes in your dream, hoping it would strengthen you. And apparently I was right. You are a lot stronger than you know Harry."

Harry remembered something else he had wondered shortly about when not being occupied with pain during his captivity.

'Why wouldn't they just use Veritaserum if they wanted to question me?'

Dumbledore's smile disappeared when he read that question. He had a thoughtful expression before answering.

"I guess that it was mostly because they just did not have Veritaserum. The ingredients are not so easy to come over and the serum itself is a bit hard to make..."

With those words the room went quiet again, Harry just hoped that Dumbledore wouldn't ask him about what had happened there or what Voldemort had been talking about in the dream. Or that he hadn't even joined the dream when Voldemort had talked about Harry walking towards him freely.

He was dozing off as he noticed how more people entered the room. As he looked up again he noticed how Dumbledore stood up, he was talking to two persons.

"Lupin?! Tonks?!" Harry tried to say but craxed, coughed and moaned. He was starting to get really frustrated by this now.

"Wotcher Harry, you shouldn't be talking with that throat" Tonks said as she went over to him with Lupin at her side. She had a black "Wierd Sisters" t-shirt and tight jeans, her usual pink hair and a leather band on her right arm with spikes in it. Lupin had apparently been dressed up like a muggle with clothes Tonks had found because he also had a "Wierd Sisters" t-shirt and jeans. They were both smiling broadley, apparently happy for seeing that Harry was alive.

Harry tried to smile when seeing how funny they both looked but couldn't. Seeing them again just made him think on all the lost time again and how life could have different been for him.

Moony sat down on his knees and tried to hug Harry.

"I'm so glad to see you again" he said quietly. "I thought I had lost you too, so soon after Sirius." Harry felt that his face was a bit wet now. Remus was crying and Harry couldn't do much more than to lie there and do nothing.

Dumbledore put a hand on Lupin's shoulder who rose up again and dried his face with his t-shirt.

"I'm sorry Harry" he said. "I shouldn't have become so emotional" Harry looked back up at Moony's face, showing no feelings at all.

"It's time to get you out of here now, I promise you that I will never let anything like this happen again to you. I will never let you face darkness alone again."

"Yeah right."

Harry was soon sitting in a wheelchair with Lupin behind driving it. To his right was Dumbledore walking and to his left was Tonks. They were chatting about something concerning Quidditch, actually it was mostly Tonks and Lupin talking while Dumbledore smiled and sometimes made a remark on what was said.

When they went through the reception Pierre came around and greated them. Dumbledore spoke a perfect french while Lupin staggered a bit and had a rather bad pronunciation, Tonks didn't seem to know a word.

Pierre bid Harry good bye and wished him luck in the future as Harry tried to smile in response but mostly looked up at him.

The van they were taking looked exactly like any muggle van adapted for handicapped people. A dark blue Volkswagen van with a small elevator coming out of the side slide door.

He was driven inside and the wheelchair secured as Tonks took the driver's seat, which surprised Harry. Lupin took the seat to the left of Harry who was still in his wheelchair on the right side by the slider door. It was apparently not an english car judging by how Tonks sat on the left side. Dumbledore took the seat in front of Harry and Tonks drove out from the hospital's grounds. Through the town northwards out on the highway.

Harry sat watching the countryside, not noticing how Lupin was anxiously watching him. He was wondering what had happened to Harry during the past 1.5 months and what was on his mind right now. Actually there was nothing at all going through Harry's mind right now except feelings and impressions. What he felt he didn't know, it wasn't fright, loneliness or hopelesness. But it wasn't happiness or relief either. He felt like he was distanced from the others and like that distance would just grow when meeting his old friends. Even when he would get his voice back the distance would grow. Especially if they would learn what that prophecy said.

The van silently drove on with the atlantic ocean to the left with a sinking sun when suddenly Dumbledore started talking.

"Miss Tonks, I think it is time to go to Scotland now, we are out of reach from Voldemort" Tonks shuddered "and can safely use the apparate function now."

"Sure thing Dumbledore" she answered and pressed a button. The car behaved much like the Knight Bus and quickly jumped with a bang and crashed out on another road in the Scottish Highlands.

"It is just an hour left for Hogsmeade and Hogwarts. There should be some Order members above us on brooms in Invisibility Cloaks by now. We are soon back home and in safety." Dumbledore said.

And they drove on, it was strangely quiet in the car. Dumbledore and Lupin were both gazing out of the windows, ever watchful. But Harry was just watching the countryside going pass them. Feeling as he was just following a life with an already decided future, being dragged through the dust by Destiny, gazing towards the rocky ground in front of him and the rocks he had just left.

The sun had come down in the west as they went quietly through Hogsmeade, through the gate to the grounds and stopped below the stairs of the main entrance. Harry who actually was really sleepy, kept himself awake and watched the castle he had thought he would never see again in his life. Dark, a few lights in different lonely windows, stars and a half moon above. In that big tower to the right was Hermione and Ron sleeping somewhere, not knowing who had just arrived.

Dumbledore and Tonks went out, opened the door. Harry hadn't noticed how everything electronical in the car stopped working when they approached Hogwarts until they started levitating him out of the van. Suddenly four forms emerged out of thin air, taking of their invisbility cloaks. It was Moody, Mundungus, Kingsley and Hestia Jones whom Harry hardly remembered after just meeting her once at the Dursleys last year.

Moody, who was apparently the leader of the scouting group reported to Dumbledore as the others got Harry inside. They levitated him over the stairs to the main entrance and over the first flight of stairs in the entrance hall. It was dark and quiet, much like all those times Harry had been sneaking around at night except that this time he was neither sneaking nor alone.

Tonks lit her wand with a quiet "Lumos" and they went through the corridors. After a while they reached the entrance of the Hospital Wing and entered. The lights were lit on the inside and Pomfrey just walked out from her office door, she probably heard them entering.

"Oh my, what have they done to you poor boy" she said as she hurried to them. "Take him to that bed over there Mr Lupin" she said and pointed to a bed on the other end of the room by the windows. Harry was relieved to see no other patients in there.

They were able to levitate him down on the bed and Lupin pushed the wheel chair out of the way.

"Give me some room if you please" she said as she pushed the others away from the bed. "Now let's see" she muttered as she took out her wand. "These muggles has done a good job securing the fractures and wounds I see, but now it's time to heal them. Let's start with your throat, shall we?"

She positioned her wand over Harry's throat, muttered some words and he felt a tingling sensation in it. But then he felt a cough rising and also saw on Pomfrey's expression that it hadn't worked. He couldn't hold the cough down any longer and painfully let it out, noticing how a few drops of blood hit Pomfrey's face.

"Uhm... I'll try to heal your fractures instead, you have to tell me what they exactly did to your throat later." She put the wand over his right arm instead and was just about to say the charm as Moody and Dumbledore entered the room.

"Oh, Moody"Pomfrey said as she saw them entering. "Can you please use that eye of yours and see if I manages to heal any of his bones. Whoever did this to him must have used many different dark curses and items, preventing normal healing."

He growled something in response and looked over Harry's casts as Pomfrey tried again and again to heal him with different charms. Nothing happened. Dumbledore stepped closer to her and put a hand on her shoulder.

"Maybe you should take a rest for tonight and try to find information about the wounds in the morning, it is late and we all are tired. Harry too" He said.

They all scattered and bid eachother good night, Lupin ruffled Harry's hair before leaving for his room and the lights were turned off. Again was Harry lying alone in a dark room but with a window to his left this time. He watched the night sky, grounds and mountains far off before drifting off to sleep.

He was lying on the wooden table in the torture chamber, wrists and ankles locked down by the shackles. Bellatrix and Rodolphus were there around him and there was another Death Eater standing by the door, it was Acri and he was smiling grimly.

Harry looked over to his left where Bellatrix stood, holding a scalpel in her hand, bringing it down to his left arm's bare skin.

"Now then, baby-Potter, talk" she said.

Harry could recognise this, it was some days before he received the beating the day before receiving the Avada Kedavra of Voldemort. And as the last time Harry didn't say anything.

"No?" She smiled and brought the knife into Harry's skin, pain. Blood followed in its wake and she lifted the scalpel after a few centimeters, watching the blood running down onto the table with a thirst for more.

She repeated this procedure some more times on Hary's arms, some lines on his chest and two on his stomach. All accompanied with Harry's groans and their laughter everytime he flinched. The wounds were just left to bleed freely.

He was scared to hell everytime she used the knives, while lying there he was totally under the mercy of these mad people. Especially now when it was just that couple in here. It felt hard to admit it but he prefered when there were more people during these sessions, it seemed to calm Bellatrix and Rodolphus a bit.

Bellatrix had more plans this time though as she walked down to Harry's waist.

"Are you sure that you have nothing to tell us little baby?" she asked as she lowered the knife again. Harry was breathing heavily and felt his heart bumping hard. "What she's up to?" he wondered.

She lowered the scalpel, started to cut of Harry's short pajamas pants and dragged them off.

"She wouldn't?!" Harry was almost panicking now, he was lying on the table totally naked and the three deatheaters in the room laughed loudly. It was apparently a very funny sight for them.

She grabbed him on his genitals and Harry gasped, breathing both fast and heavily.

"Are you really sure you have nothing to tell us?" she asked as she lowered the scalpel again.

He felt the cold metal touching his skin. "Nononononono" he thought.

"Speak now or talk like a baby for the rest of your life" Rodolphus said while chuckling. Harry didn't notice it but he had start crying and closed his eyes.

"Owh, thwe baby cwouldn't tawke any mowe and stawted to cwy" Bellatrix said with her usual taunting baby-voice, there was more laughter.

Harry's teeths quivered and his whole body trembled, he gave up. There had been enough of this terror to last for entire life times.

"Wait" he said.

"Speak up boy" Rodolphus said and Bellatrix squeezed Harry's genitals soflty as Harry inhaled.

"The prophecy"

With a craxing scream Harry awoke. It was still night but Pomfrey rushed out of her office anyway.

Harry didn't notice that she hurried to him as he was too occupied remembering what had happened that time. He had tried to push that memory away, had almost managed it too but now it suddenly returned for some reason. He was terrified of them, of remembering how he had been at the mercy of mad people. Able to do anything as it was enjoyable for them.

He remembered that he had told them all about the prophecy, they were amazed to say the least. And that fight in the ministry had been for nothing. Not only had Sirius died because of a mistake made by Harry, but he also died for no reason at all.

They just threw him back into his cell afterwards, where he stayed for three more meals. At the fourth meal, and probably after three days, they gave him back his pants which had been repaired.

Some hours after that, he remembered, they took him out again. The wounds from the scalpel hadn't healed, probably somekind of magic with that too. He remembered how he felt dizzy by the bloodloss that time when they took him back to the chamber again. And this time for a mayor beating. He remembered how they had tied his wrists behind his back, arms to his body and legs together and then just placed him standing in the middle of the room. Crabbe, or was it Goyle? One of them had anyway walked to him and hit him hard in his stomach so he fell over. After that he had placed a knee over his chest, pressing harder and harder. Harry hadn't been able to breath as the Death Eater pressed, in the end a rib snapped. Making Harry to scream out in pain, or at least trying. And then another rib snapped. All while the Death Eaters had laughed loudly.

They were all mad people, hungry for seeing people in pain. Hungry for blood, hungry for being in power over other people in all ways.

Harry looked around and saw through the mist and blur of tears and absence of glasses Madame Pomfrey standing by his bed and checking on him. She looked heartbroken when she saw his face and quickly understood that it was a very dark nightmare and not anything hurting in his body.

She brought him some Dreamless Sleep Potion which he gladly let her pour into his mouth as he swallowed. He thought that he didn't need any more of these dreams. It was enough to have lived it through once, to live it through again and again wasn't anything he wanted.

Again Harry fell asleep and was totally oblivious to the conversation which took place in Dumbledore's office where Pomfrey told him what had just happened, and he decided that somekind of mental healing was required.

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How can I ever feel again?
Given the chance would I return?

Why am I loved only when I'm gone?
Gone back in time to bless the child
Think of me long enough to make a memory
Come bless the child one more time

I've never felt so alone in my life
As I drank from a cup which was counting my time
There's a poison drop in this cup of Man
To drink it is to follow the left hand path

/From "Bless the Child" by Nightwish