Chapter 6:
Snow White A.K.A. The Plot Takes a Vacation
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*fanfare plays* Yay! I have RETURNED. Sorry for not updating this, it's a long story and I don't feel like wasting my life writing it here. So I hope you all forgive me, and ENJOY THE NEXT FRICKEN' CHAPTER! XDDD
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Yusuke: *look of CONCENTRATION*
Kurama & Hiei: ..............
Hiei: Just...GO ALREADY!!!
Yusuke: Ok ok ok.....Hmmmm......
Kurama & Hiei: -_______-
Yusuke: Ok...here goes...
Agi: *walks into kitchen and opens the refrigerator*
Yusuke, Kurama, & Hiei: *fall out*
Agi: O_O
Hiei: *throws croquet mallet across the room* Well, guess that game's over...
Yusuke: *cries* B-b-but...I WAS SO CLOSE TO WINNING!! TT___TT
Agi: Umm...why were you guys playing croquet in the refrigerator? What ever happened to limbo?
Kurama: The stick ran off...
*Somewhere...FAR away...*
Kuwabara: *is chased by rabid baboons*
*Back to NOW*
Kurama: And hopscotch on the stove got a little...dangerous.
Yusuke & Hiei: *hold up burnt feet*
Hiei: AND we couldn't play under the couch...
Agi: Why not?
Yusuke: Because of the Vikings...
Agi: There's...Vikings under the couch???
Yusuke: Yup.
Agi: Ok then...Hey, where's Karasu?
Kurama: *points* In the cupboard.
Yusuke: He's hiding from the Vikings...
Agi: o_O *opens the cupboard*
Karasu: *curled up in a ball* Big......furry..........MEN! *rocks back and forth*
Hiei: He got a little...traumatized.
Agi: *picks up the toaster and bashes Karasu with it* RISE AND SHINE!!!
Karasu: NOT THE APPLESAUCE!! @______@
All: ...........
Yusuke: So...umm...what stupid fairy tale are we doing now?
Agi: Snow White~~~!!!!!! But, before we can start, we gotta find a replacement for Kuwabara, since his off on his little "adventure."
Kuwabara: *runs through the background covered in syrup*
All: o_O
Hiei: Who can we possibly get to replace that barbarian?
*The doorbell rings*
Kurama: I didn't know there was a door here...
Agi: I'LL GET IT!!! *runs up to the door and rips it off its hinges*
Jin: ^_^
Agi: HELLO!
Jin: ^____^
Agi: HELLO?!
Jin: *thrusts out a handful of jelly* Want some?
Agi: ...HI JIN!! Would you like to be Kuwabara's replacement?
Jin: I like jelly *hugs the jelly*
Agi: *drags Jin inside* Welcome aboard!
Jin: Hey! It's Urameshi! *bounds up to Yusuke*
Yusuke: ......
Agi: Ok then...I think we're good to go now ^___^
Yusuke: What about Karasu?
Karasu: *sprawled out on the floor* MOMMY! King George has STOLEN my PANTYHOSE! OH THE HORROR!! *rolls around*
Agi: Oh he'll be fine...*mops Karasu off the floor*
Karasu: SPAGHETTI ON A STICK! *grabs the mop and starts gnawing on it*
All: ........
Lepracy: *vaporizes out of nowhere and latches onto Karasu's leg*
Agi: .............Once upon a time in some castle in some imaginary far-away land...THERE LIVED A FEMALE.
Yusuke: *runs*
Agi: *grabs Yusuke and drags him over*
Yusuke: TT____TT
Agi: She was called Snow White because...um...her sheets were always...snowy white?
Yusuke: *holds up a cutout of a very unrealistic bed from a catalog* ^_^
Agi: There was also an evil queen person who had a magic mirror...
Karasu: Mirror mirror on the wall...should I wear the black evening gown, or the red leather mini-skirt?
Mirror: *does nothing*
Karasu: Come on you stupid mirror! I thought you were magic! SAY SOMETHING!!!!
Mirror: *does more nothing*
Karasu: Can't you do anything besides act like a...a......MIRROR?!
Mirror: A-B-C-D-E-F-G...
Karasu: -_____-+ *blows the mirror up*
Agi: Ok, forget the mirror. Anyway, the Evil Queen was very jealous of Snow White for her beauty and...other stuff...
Karasu: Ewww. *points at Yusuke* I'm not jealous of HIM!
Yusuke: ;___;
Agi: And umm...*doesn't remember how the story goes* One day...the queen...who was evil...sent some guy out into the woods to kill Snow White.
Karasu: ........
Agi: What's wrong? Don't we have a hit-man?
Karasu: We needed everyone we could get to play dwarves.
Agi: -___-;;;; Fine. FORGET THE HIT-MAN. Instead Snow White ran away cause she was being chased by--
Kuwabara: AN OUT-OF-CONTROL ICE CREAM TRUCK!!!!
Agi: O_O Where'd you come from?!
Kuwabara: *still covered in syrup* I...don't.........KNOW!!!! *thrusts himself full-speed into a tree*
Agi: O.o........So, Snow White was chased by an out-of-control ice cream truck driven by--
Karasu: RICHARD NIXON!
Agi: Not you too -___-;;;
Karasu: ^_^
Agi: SO ANYWAY...Snow White was being chased by the OUT-OF-CONTROL ICE CREAM TRUCK that was being driven by RICHARD NIXON.
Yusuke: Eep! *frolicks away through the woods*
Richard Nixon: Vote for Nixon! Vote for Nixon! Vote for Nixon! Vote f--*drives truck off a cliff into a pit of flames*
Yusuke: That was random...
Agi: DID I SAY YOU COULD STOP RUNNING?!
Yusuke: -_- *keeps running*
Agi: Snow White kept running until she came to a little cottage...
Yusuke: *stares at the cottage* Ooooh...Aaahhh~
Agi: Since she knew this was the only form of civilization for miles, Snow White decided to just walk right in...
Yusuke: *slices the door with a chainsaw*
Agi: As soon as she was inside, she noticed how FILTHY and UNKEMPT the cottage was...
Yusuke: O.O;;; *scoops the dirt from the plant he knocked over back in the flowerpot*
Agi: Snow White decided to do the owner of the cottage a favor by tidying the place up...
Yusuke: *dumps bleach on everything*
Agi: Meanwhile, back at the ranch--I mean--castle the Evil Queen was plotting a way to get rid of Snow White for good...
*queue evil-sounding music*
*The Macarena starts playing*
Agi: ^^;;;
Karasu: Uhh...so how am I supposed to kill this Snow person...thing?
Agi: With the evil poisoned apple of course.
Karasu: Yeah but...I already had the so-called evil mirror and it wasn't very...evil. And this apple doesn't look very menacing either...
Agi: You're right, we better not take any chances. *grabs the apple and tosses it into a lake*
*All the fish and plant-life from the lake grow legs and run away frantically as the lake blows up killing everything in a 20-mile radius*
Karasu: .........So now what?
Agi: You can always just use this *hands Karasu a sledgehammer*
Karasu: *squeals* *hops away*
Lepracy: *still attached to Karasu's leg*
Agi: Back at the cottage, Snow White had finished cleaning. Then she heard cheerful singing coming from the woods...
Yusuke: *finishes cutting a table in half with the chainsaw* Hark! *cups ear* Are those angels I hear?
Kuwabara: *comes crashing through the window*
Hiei: *jumps in after him* That's what you get for ruining yet another job interview!
Agi: Where'd he come from again?
Kuwabara: I...don't........--*gets whacked with a folding chair*
Hiei: SHUT UP!
Kurama & Jin: *walk in casually*
Yusuke: I'm bewildered.
Agi: Soon Snow White discovered that these seven--er, FOUR men were the real owners of the cottage.
Hiei: What the hell are you doing in our house?!
Yusuke: O.O;;;
Hiei: You will PAY! LET'S GET HIM!!!
Kurama: *busy scraping Kuwabara off the floor*
Jin: *walks into the dining room* Somebody's been eating my porridge ;_;
Hiei: -___-;; Nevermind.
Jin: *skips up to Yusuke* ^_________^
Yusuke: O_o;;;
Hiei: So umm...who are you lady-man thing?
Yusuke: They call me Snow White, but my real name is Latoya Pootybooty...they didn't think that name would be very good name for a fairy tale though...
Kurama: We're the dwarfy thingies that live here. We work at the refreshments stand at the cemetery...or at least...we used to...
Yusuke: *gasp* Did you get fired?
Hiei: No, people stopped dying, so the cemetery had to go out of business...
All: *hang heads*
Jin: Oooh! There's a nickel in the floor!
Agi: Anyway, what they didn't know was that the Evil Queen was making her way through the forest at that very moment. She maneuvered through the mass of trees with incredible stealth and agility...
Karasu: *chases a porcupine* Must. Prick. FINGERS!!
Agi: She arrived at the dwarves' home and disguised herself as a helpless old lady...carrying a sledgehammer...
Yusuke: *goes to the door* Why hello there helpless old lady. You sure look old and helpless today.
Karasu: *swings hammer* YIYIYIYIYIYI!!!
Yusuke: I know that battle cry! It was started way back in primitive times when man first experienced constapation, and was passed down through the generations to...
*5 hours later...*
Yusuke: ...who taught it to Julius Caesar who taught it to Albert Einstein who taught it to the Evil Queen who...*GASP!* THE EVIL QUEEN!
Karasu: *half asleep* O_@ Huh? What?
Yusuke: EEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKK!!!! *runs into the house*
Karasu: *looks at the hammer* Oh yeah! *chases Yusuke*
Yusuke: *runs around screaming*
Hiei: What the hell is wrong with you?
Kuwabara: Ooh! Ooh! Charades! Hmm...one word...starts with "AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!" Wait...don't tell me! I can get this!
Kurama: I think he's trying to tell us there's trouble...
Kuwabara: Ohhh...*walks up to Yusuke* What is it girl? Is Timmy stuck in the well again?
Jin: *colors on the walls* Weee! ^^
Karasu: *stomps down the hallway* FE FI FO ZAMBONI! I'll get you Snow White! ...You little jerk!
Kurama: Quick! Let's hide him somewhere!
Hiei, Kurama, Jin & Kuwabara: *shove Yusuke in the refrigerator*
Karasu: *comes in* Ok! WHERE IS SHE?!
Hiei: Uhh...she went to...Mexico?
Karasu: ........DRAT! *runs out*
Kurama: Wow. Surprised he fell for that O_o
Kuwabara: *opens the fridge* Umm...Urameshi? *poke* You okay?
Yusuke: *trapped in a block of ice*
Kurama: Not good...
Agi: And so, the beautiful Snow White died. The dwarves mourned the loss...
Jin: Who wants cupcakes?
Hiei, Kurama & Kuwabara: ME! MEEE!!!
Agi: Even the forest creatures gathered to pay their respects...
Plastic Reindeer: *falls over*
Agi: But then along came a prince who had a way to break Snow White's curse thingy and bring her back to life...
All: ............
Agi: Don't tell me there's no prince either.
Lepracy: *runs up with the sledgehammer and smashes the block of ice*
Yusuke: *gets up* I'm...freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...
Agi: And so they all lived happily ever after and died eventually.
All: .......
Agi: THE END! ^_^
Karasu: *rows a canoe across a cornfield* I'll get to Mexico no matter what it takes! Or...maybe it was Switzerland...o_O
*A porcupine runs by*
Karasu: SQUEE! *chases*
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Weeee! This is my favorite one so far ^_^ Oh yes, and thanks once again for the reviews! They're much appreciated! ^^