Hmmm, annoying pause that was, but important. Two days of not being able to upload nor review, hehe, but upgrades are really nice. Hope they are working well too :)

My left arm his hurting now though, not thanks to the paus, more to the snow which arrived during the weekend, and I had to shovel really heavy and wet snow on monday, and it rained... man was I wet. And don't tell me it would've just melted, because the night comes early at this time of the year (around 16.00 and 17.00) and all that wet snow would have just freezed during the night, making it impoosible to walk anywhere next day without breaking bones :D

Anyway, I noticed while reading a lot other fanfics during the pause, many authors (all?) have disclaimers in every chapter, and I only had it in the first one... ah well, I'll have one here again.

I do not own Harry Potter and things revolving around that world which was created so masterly by J K Rowling. Savy?

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Soaring through the air a bird came, an white owl. She wasn't carrying a letter or anything at all, she just sensed a presence she hadn't sensed in soon two months. The owner was back at the castle and it was time to meet him again.

The owl had been living in the Owlery of Hogwarts ever since her owner disappeared and now she was flying north and descending somewhat. There the window was. It was noon, a calm and beautiful day in late september with students around on the grounds below.

She landed on the windowpane and looked in, there he was sitting together with that redhaired girl. They both was sitting on the floor with their backs against the bed, having their arms around eachother.

Her owner had his face down in the redhaired girl's shoulder but was easy recognised by his jet black hair which was more unkept than usual. She started picking on the window to get their attention.

Harry looked up when he suddenly heard a familiar picking on the window. His face felt crispy after all the dried tears but he felt easier again. Felt like the whole world wasn't resting on just his shoulders anylonger.

He didn't know how long he and Ginny had been sitting there now, must have been at least an hour. But now he noticed the familiar white form outside the window.

"Hedwig?!" Harry yelled and hurried over to the window, trying to open it and forgetting it was locked. He struggled for a short while with the opening mechanism before giving up and exclaiming "Sorry mate, you'll have to fly back to the Owlery, I'll come by tomorrow".

She seemed to have understood him and took off flying around the tower as Ginny came up behind Harry.

"It's a beautiful bird you have, and smart."

"Yeah."

"You know what she did that night you disappeared? She flew straight to our home before we went to the Headquarters, then Professor Dumbledore took her to Hogwarts and she's been living here since then."

Ginny suddenly giggled.

"One of the students tried using her for a mail but ended up in the Hospital Wing, his hands neeeded quite some healing but it was nothing permament" she said and started giggling again.

A muscle in Harry's face twitched, moving his lips upwards a little but he just continued to watch the grounds.

"I never thought about Hedwig when I was gone" he suddenly said and Ginny was startled.

She did open him enough earlier to talk about his feelings but he had never ever said anything about what happened when he was gone. She certainly did not expect him to start talking about it this quickly.

He turned around and watched Ginny in her eyes.

"But among many those things I did think about I thought that it was good they went for me alone and didn't try to get to me through my friends"

He watched the grounds through the window again.

"I didn't want to lose anyone close to me again as I did with Sirius"

"I don't like where this is heading" Ginny thought.

"But now I don't know" he said as he leaned against the window. "I still don't want to lose anyone close, but I won't survive without anyone close either, I don't know what I want anylonger... Except that if he comes for you I'd give myself up freely to him, making sure that he'd let you go before I'd let him kill me."

There was silence but then Ginny sighed and put her arms around a startled Harry.

"I wish you could tell me what happened" she said.

"Are you really sure you wanna hear?" he answered.

"No... But you can't let all that stay in you nagging, as you let all those things you told me before stay inside you, breaking you as more was added."

"I'm... I'm not ready yet"

Everything that happened him was still too fresh in his mind, sure he didn't have the same longing for death anylonger but he was afraid that if he started telling Ginny what happened he would just break down and cry as before. And he didn't want to scare her again.

"How come that old feelings for me surfaced?" Harry suddenly asked, embarrasing Ginny. "Not that I don't like them, which I actually do" He quickly corrected himself as he turned around to face Ginny again.

"I've actually felt some attachment to you since last christmas myself" he continued. "Since your dad was attacked and you reminded us all of what happened to you during your first year when I thought I was possessed by him."

Ginny looked up, he was opening himself even more. And still taking it so calm.

"Actually it was when you disappeared when I felt something special" she answered. "I-I started feeling a longing for you. Like the old crush on you never went away and suddenly surfaced when you were really gone."

Harry suddenly smiled, a very weak and small smile but it was something.

"What about your other boyfriends?" he asked and couldn't believe that he was asking a girl about her boyfriends.

Her face blushed and Harry felt these flip flops in his stomach he hadn't felt since seeing Cho Chang for more than a half year ago before their catastrophic date in Hogsmeade.

"Well... They were like hit'n'run targets"

"What? Are we just hit'n'run targets for girls nowadays?" Harry said as he smiled more. Looking at Ginny's face made his problems disappear for a while, making him feel alive again.

Ginny suddenly laughed and threw her arms around Harry's waist, totally surprising him.

"Of course not, just until we find someone who is worth staying with." she said while hugging him. Harry surprised himself by putting his arms around her body and resting his head on top of her head.

Ginny was sitting on her usual spot in the Common Room that same evening . She had just left Harry after sitting with him in his room for several more hours. She thought that it was best if she started doing her homework. Especially now after missing all of today's lessons. She felt happy but still sad, happy because she had finally gotten through to Harry, sad because of his sadness, like he had put some of the weight of the world on her shoulders.

She hadn't thought it possible for someone being on the "good side" to hate Dumbledore. But apparently he hates both Voldemort and Dumbledore, like he got trapped in the middle, between two sides and fights his own war. In a way allied with one side and having the same goals as that side.

Ginny woke from her thoughts as she heard some approaching footsteps. As she looked up she saw Ron and Hermione walking towards her from the other end of the common room. She noticed they were holding their hands so she smiled at them and they blushed a bit.

"We heard that you were gone all day" Hermione said.

"Yeah, probably with one 'Harry'" Ron said with a smile, always going straight to the point.

Ginny blushed and smiled at them some more.

"Well..." she said and thought about how much about what had happaned she should tell them. Harry probably didn't want people to know about his problems and personal feelings, he had trusted that to her alone. And anyone could be listening here in their common room she thought as remembering stories by Rita Skeeter in her third year. Though Ginny had reported the less personal details to Dumbledore. He understood a lot by just hearing a little, she suspected that he could see alot on her expression or maybe even read her clearest thoughts.

"He's healed now, well physicly anyway" she continued. "But his memories are troubling him."

The couple sat down on the couch in front of Ginny.

"'His memories are troubling him'?" Ron said "Bloody hell, who wouldn't be troubled by coming back after one and a half month with You-Know-Who."

"Language Ron" Hermione scolded and he just smiled back at her.

Ginny didn't say anything, she felt bad herself for knowing how Harry must've had it during that time, it was her job to bring him back to normality.

Suddenly she was brought back to reality by Ron who tried to talk to her.

"Oy, Gin, you hear me?" he asked.

"Hmm? Oh, yeah I hear you" she answered with a smile.

"Didn't look like that, anyway, it's Hogsmeade-time this Saturday, try dragging Harry with us, it'll probably do him some good."

"I'm not sure about that Ron" Hermione suddenly said. "It would do him some good if it wasn't for all the reporters being stationed there since his survivak leaked out, and not to mention Death Eaters lurking around. They'd do anything to get him back to Voldemort for prestige." Ron flinched almost unnoticable by hearing the name.

"Maybe he'd come under his Invisibility Cloak, and probably with an Auror around too." Ginny thought out loud. "I'll ask him tomorrow anyway but I wouldn't hope so much on him coming with us."

Said and done, next afternoon, a friday, were she and Harrry sitting on his bed, side by side with eachother. He was now dressed in normal clothes again. She tried not to think about when it was he actually had real clothes on himself last time.

They were both leaning against the wall which was on one side of the bed. Harry had mostly been idling and not really listening to Ginny that hour she'd been there. He remembered hearing something about Ron becoming the new Quidditch Captain in his absence, Ginny switched position to Chaser apparently but he didn't care about who the new members were. No games had been played yet though.

They probably wanted him back again and Harry himself wouldn't deny that he also wanted to be flying again. The life long Quidditch ban was lifted long ago during the summer. He longed for the feeling of relief and freedome which always washed over him when flying, forgetting his life for a while.

"You want to follow us to Hogsmeade this weekend by the way?" Ginny suddenly asked.

Hogsmeade, he would love to go there again, but Dumbledore had warned him about it. Reporters and Death Eaters, what strange things for a teenager to be scared of.

And then all the students around him, looking at him, his friends behaving strange around him. These lonely sessions with Ginny were okay, but to actually be out there, trying to get back to normal with Voldemort still after him more than ever. With no way to escape his destiny.

He couldn't think about going back to lessons again, it felt so abnormal after these last two long months. Dumbledore had so far let him decide for himself when he felt ready to go back to school, but it'd be within the next two weeks. It scared him, he just wanted to sit there in his bed, watch Ginny as she talked to him. Read books, watch the grounds through the windows.

His door wasn't locked anylonger after Ginny got him to talk the day before this. But he didn't feel like walking around the castle either, with all the students around. He was hoping on being able to get out of his room when most of the students were at Hogsmeade, he'd be able to withstand the stares from first and second year-students.

"I'd like to, but I'll probably stay here" he finally answered Ginny. "There's still too many reporters..." he trailed off and went quiet again, watching the wall.

Not much more was said that afternoon before Ginny left, the sun went down as Harry read another book.

Actually Dumbledore wanted Harry to write in a book his thoughts and feelings to get it out of him. Harry had considered this idea for maybe ten seconds before putting away the book and finding another book.

The evening went on as Dobby came in with som supper for Harry and he went to bed yet again. Feeling calmer than ever.

Ginny walked down the main street in Hogsmeade with some friends from her class the next day. She wondered about what she could buy for Harry. "A Quidditch book? Nah he already have so many. Somekind of book? Somekind of special item?"

Ginny got separated from her friends as she saw a small store with muggle clothes and items. Not a usual sight in a Wizarding town but wizards and witches needs to learn how to dress like a muggle and how they are, especially when living on a world with a majority of muggles and still trying to be secret.

She thought that he needed something, somekind of clothes fitting just him, not those hand-me-downs from the giant of a cousin Harry had.

She entered the store and walked through shelf after shelf with all kinds of strange clothes. She always thought muggles always used usual pants and shirts and grown ups always used suits exactly like grown up wizards mostly uses robes even while being amongst muggles.

But here were all kinds of clothes, even clothes looking like they came directly from somekind of muggle Dark Lord. Big leather bracelets with spikes, t-shirts with skulls and other pictures, reminding her of the Dark Mark. When she got passed the clothes section she found music recorded to wizarding music players, books, strange muggle gadgets like "computers", "calculators" and so on.

Their pencils looked rather smart though when compared to their quills at Hogwarts. Ink pencils with the ink inside, running out of the tip with the help of a small ball. She wondered a short while why this store didn't have a bigger entrance, almost no one were in there buying stuff. But then maybe they felt emberassed by selling muggle items.

She continued walking around there as Harry walked around in Hogwarts for the first time in three months. Most students still being in the school seemed to be on the grounds or in their Common rooms. So he had the corridors for himself, walking around in those parts where almost no one ever went.

He suddenly emerged in the entrance hall and saw the daylight from outside shining in through the door. He went out and walked around the castle to the lake and sat down by an old tree. Watching the students playing around on the other side.

The sun was hot and the wind chilly. His eyelids started feeling heavy as he sat back and closed his eyes. Feeling the grass around him, the wind blowing slowly in his hair and hearing the water slowly splashing against the shore.

It was maybe around 4 o'clock when he arrived there and just a few minutes later fell asleep.

Harry looked around, he had already had one dream but couldn't remember what it was about. Something nice though, grass, people he loved and not a trouble in the world.

Now he was hanging from the chains in the so familiar torture chamber he had spent a lot of time in already. Bellatrix stood before him again, grinning evily.

"Owh, little baby-Potter was bwack agawn and scawed" she said with her taunting baby voice.

"Give it up" Harry said, feeling bold again, anger rising. "You can't hurt me through a dream"

Harry wondered for a short time how Bellatrix was able to intrude him in his brain like this, he thought that was one of Voldemort's hobbies.

"but baby-Potter, ofcourse it's not only the Dark Lord knows legilimens, most of his supporters have this knowledge, but He is stronger than anyone."

"Yeah, except Dumbledore" Harry said, smirking as he saw how Bellatrix got annoyed. He still didn't forgive Dumbledore but would take any moment to annoy Bellatrix.

"I may not be able to hurt you, right now, but what about your girlfriend Harry?" she said and smirked as Harry's expression changed into surprise and fear.

"How the hell does she know about Ginny??" he thought.

"I don't have a girlfriend" he said, a little too quickly.

"Ohno? I've sneaked into your mind while you sleeps with the help of the Dark Lord Harry, seeing your dreams, your thoughts. You do know your dreams are mostly memories, thoughts and impressions gathered during the day being mixed up in your longterm memory, that way I could see what had happened to you lately, and also see your... pleasant dreams about me and the Dark Lord."

Harry couldn't believe it, she had taken Ginny? The thought just scared the hell out of him, losing Sirius was terrible, but losing Ginny like that, if he had just followed her to Hogsmeade then they would've been under constant surveillance and under the cover of reporters.

"Prove it!" Harry blurted out. "Prove to me that you got her!"

Bellatrix just smiled and waved her hand over her eyes, suddenly Harry saw like through another person's eyes how Ginny was sitting, unconsciouss, by a broken stone wall, her hands chained to it.

"WHY!" Harry shouted as his anger rose even more. "Why have you taken her your goddamn BITCH!"

"Tss, tss, language baby-Potter" Bellatrix said with a growing smile as Harry's vision returned to the torture chamber. "Or I'll have to hurt her... more"

"Don't you dare hurting her!" Harry screamed, knowing that it was futile.

Bellatrix watched him struggling against the chains while he was forgetting that it was a dream.

"Now then baby-Potter, the reason for this little charade is that you still have a chance to save your precious" Harry calmed down as he heard this. He'd do anything for not losing someone he loved again.

"What do I have to do?" he asked with a dark but calm voice.

"You will just have to get out of the Hogwarts grounds through the forbidden forest. Go out of the castle, straight east from the castle, after some kilometers you'll find us. Don't bring anyone else because then we WILL kill her, or worse, just come yourself and we will release her."

Harry watched her and understood that if Ginny really was kidnapped, then he wouldn't hesitate to do exactly as Bellatrix said, even if it meant getting kissed by a Dementor.

Harry awoke with a gasp, he was still lying by the lake. The sun was getting lower and Harry guessed that it was maybe around 7 o'clock.

He stood up quickly and started sprinting to the castle.

"Must find Dumbledore, must find out if Ginny really is kidnapped or this is all a trick."

Harry ran through the wet and dark grass with a red and dark blue sky above him. Stars being visible as Ginny opened her eyes, glancing up at the very same stars.

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captuniv – Yeah, it could have been, except that no one in the DA except for Hermione, Ron, Ginny, Neville and Luna knew about his return... hmm that are a few actually so it could have been them... anyway thanks for the review.

Lady of Masbolle – Yeah, I can guess it's easier to find a lot of metal-albums up here in northern Europe than in msot toher places on Earth. The groups I'm listening to just happen to come from Finland, Sweden, Germany and Netherlands and I live in Sweden. Anyway... recommendations... hmmm hard to recommend anything :D
Well those songs I've quoted so far in this story are great examples but if you want names of albums I can always recommend their first album (from 1997) called "Angels Fall First", "Oceanborn" is also great, their second album. Though if you want more modern sound to it (more like Evanescence maybe) you may like their latest album, "Once" from this summer.

Enough music, more comments!

Pleione – Don't worry, more exciting situations are coming.

No more comments, more chapters.... tomorrow! :P