Nasty Temper He's Got, That Sirius Black

J. Frazier and A. Surratt

Albus Dumbledore was a stupid git, Sirius had decided. It could have been called a profound decision. Therefore, he thought he'd share it with Lupin.

"Albus Dumbledore is a stupid git."

There came no response.

Sirius was undeterred. It was true that he had not spent grand amounts of time with his old friend in the past thirteen years, but in the few weeks he had stayed in hiding with Remus Lupin it seemed that Moony's temperament had not much changed. The cottage where he lived was still the place it had been when they were in school; Moony having inherited it from his parents. It suited him. It was quiet, pleasant, cozy, well furnished, and utterly alone. From the outside it matched its owner, aged and graying, threadbare but suitable. Simplicity itself hidden in a vast forest where prying eyes would not intrude. Perhaps it would have made a better location for the secret headquarters the Order had been searching for. Unfortunately, Sirius (in his enthusiasm to be helpful in anyway possible) had offered up Grimmauld Place. He wasn't about to admit that it was his fault.

And so…

"Isn't he? I mean the man is astounding! I offer up that Merlin-forsaken, grimy, dark, smelly, cesspool, house-elf feces ridden place, and HE wants ME to live there!!" Remus nodded politely from behind his cup of tea. "He knows I absolutely can not stand the idea of it! That the entire house appalls me! That it is filled with paraphernalia from my dark family's dark worship of the bloody "Dark Lord!" Remus stood up, floating the teapot and saucers along behind him and turned on the tap to wash up the remainders of breakfast. Sirius rambled on. "And he has the gall! The absolute nerve! To tell me that under no circumstances am I allowed to leave!" And on. "It's not as if I can't take care of myself! Who else could have escaped from Azkaban, swam that frigid sea, cross the entire country with every wizard and muggle around searching for him, withstood the dementors, entered Hogwarts (suppose that's why he's doing this to me?), and escaped the kiss! I did that!"

"It's not as if you haven't had a tiny bit of help," Remus muttered quietly. He was not entirely sure Sirius even heard him, but the one-sided conversation seemed to have echoed his sentiment. Remus decided that having finished with the dishes (now thoroughly cleaned) he should catch up on his reading. Sirius apparently didn't notice this either.

"Of course Harry helped, and you, and even the great git himself! But Harry! How am I to look after Harry when I'm answering the damned door at Grimmauld all day and night, but never setting foot outside it! If I have to watch Severus smirk about this underneath all that slimy hair of his I don't know exactly what…Oh, I know what I'll do if he dares stick his abysmally gargantuan nose into it…."

Remus wasn't entirely sure how the conversation had turned to Severus Snape, he had been busy weeding the garden for the past twenty minutes all the while catching snippets of Sirius's rant.

"Always trying to undo us he was, at Hogwarts I mean, hanging out with those other greasy obsessive freaks and doing Voldemort's dirty work. As if he could ever outwit James! And- Dear God, James….if James could see this now…we-…we'd be at his house instead of mine!"

Remus, looking up from his work on the porch, rolled his eyes. He had been absorbed in fixing the squeaking floorboards nearly an hour now, and had only perked up at the mention of James for a moment. Much to his dismay.

Maybe it was time for more tea.

"Of course he isn't here now…because of PETER! That damned two-faced rat bastard of a so called friend! That talentless squirming ball of lard….speaking to Harry the way he did as if he was really James's old best mate!"

Remus pulled out another cup, Sirius' first cup sat empty before him.

"I will kill him! Maybe not today, or tomorrow, or anytime soon though. And do you know why?!"

"Tea?"

"Yes, thank you."

Remus refilled his cup.

"BECAUSE I'LL BE STUCK IN GRIMMAULD! It's a travesty! An insult! He knows I absolutely can not stand the idea of it! That the entire house appalls me! That it is filled with paraphernalia from my dark family's dark worship of the bloody "Dark Lord! I hate that Merlin-forsaken, grimy, dark, and smelly, cesspool- and…and- are you even listening to me?! "

Remus looked up with mild astonishment, "Albus Dumbledore is a stupid git?"

"EXACTLY!" Sirius leaped up from his chair banging his fist down on the table and rattling the plates.

Sitting back down he sighed, and taking a long sip from his now lukewarm tea he looked up quizzically to his friend.

"So, Moony, how have you been?"

Finis