In this chapter : Jin finally realized he was wrong... will Hwoarang take him back?
A/N : Listen to Hoobastank – The Reason while rading this fic. Not a songfic, but I got inspired a bit by it =).
Reminiscence
Chapter 16 : Lost and found
Jin's POV
I left in a hurry, not even caring for the laundry or Xiaoyu. Have to get to him as fast as I can, he's crazy enough to kill himself. And if he does... I'll never be able to forgive myself. He was right, and I was wrong, what if he did kill himself already?!!! Please let him be alright.... please... else I don't know what I'm going to do.
An hour ago I was wondering why I was in love with him. Now I'm wondering how I've been such a jerk. I could've avoid all this mess if I'd have looked more carefully! Ah man... I feel terrible. I should've listened to him earlier. Asked him why he did that even though he did nothing, I'd have realized I was wrong. I've seen him cry and I haven't done a single thing. I didn't even try to understand what he was going through. Then if love is blind, rage is probably blind as well. He's the one I love and I just blowed my chance to happiness... and his own happyness as well. Maybe his life.
What on Earth am I going to say to him? That I was wrong and I'm sorry? That I should've been more careful? More attentive? More... oh God...
Maybe the other guys won't even let him see me.
I get out of the car once I reached the good building. Number... 18... or 17... AH DAMMIT! 18 I think. Yeah, 18, now that I remember. When I got to the door... I just stopped moving. What if it's too late? I gotta stop asking myself questions. I MUST go in there. For Hwoarang's sake.
Alright, I'm gonna knock.
"Hai?" It's another guy that opens. The guy on the pic with Hwoarang.
"Is Hwoarang here?"
He cocked his head to the left. "Hmm... yeah he's here, but I would suggest to come back later. His boyfriend just dumped him and well, he's not taking it lightly. Got any message?
"
"I'M his boyfriend. I need to talk to him, quick...!"
"You're that Jin guy then. Yeah, might be better for you to talk to him."
"Who's there, Ran?" another voice asked. Nope, not Hwoarang.
"It's Jin. He wants to talk to Hwoarang. I let him in or what?"
"Of course..."
Ran introduced me to the other young man in the room, Seung. I think Hwoa mentionned him a few times... "The room over there" he said as he pointed to the blue door. Weird colors... nevermind that. I quietly open the door, expecting a dead Hwoarang.
Whew. He's curled up on the bed, Reiko by his side. Heartbroking sight... no they're not doing anything. But Hwoarang looks so sad... take a deep breath Jin. Now go ahead and talk to him. ".... Hwoarang? Could I talk to you...?"
"Jin?" He raises his head. I can see he cried a lot... poor Hwoarang.... I feel so bad. Breaks my heart.
"I'm gonna leave you two alone, warn me if something happens, OK?"
Hwoarang nods, and waits until Reiko is out of the room to come to me and literally jump in my arms, still sobbing. "Hwoarang... I'm so sorry...."
Hwoarang's POV
"I told you I was right.... still you listened to her instead of me. I know you've been knowing her for a long time, still it felt pretty weird. Like I was less... important to you. Like you trusted her more than me..."
"That's where you're wrong, koibito. You're.... my whole life. I love you much more than anything. I'm ready to... to... give up everything for you. So please... come back to me. I need you. And judging by your looks, you need me as well. I refuse to leave you."
"It's because of me you're here. If we hadn't met, you wouldn't be here. You and Xiaoyu'd be living happily ever after. I'm not worthy of being with you..."
He shakes his head. What is he going to say now? "Stop it Hwoarang. Stop blaming yourself for everything, because you know it's not true. It would've happened if I had being with a girl instead. And if it's to be with you all my life, I'm ready to go through that everyday. I love you, Hwoarang."
Why is he in love with me? I'm just a normal guy, I'm not special. Everyone I know or love ends up hurt, and I end up more depressed. "I don't get it... as soon as I'm finally close to someone, this person either leaves me, or end up hurt... even dead... I'm sick of that! That's why I have a hard time dealing with people that want to get close to me. I don't want them hurt anymore..."
"Hwoarang...."
"I'm better off dead, Jin... I don't want to hurt anybody anymore!"
"IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT HWOARANG! That kind of things happen... just... stop blaming yourself."
"I can't... "
"Aww Hwoarang..."
I stayed a long time in his arms. I wasn't really feeling good but I knew I was safe with him. That nothing would happen to me. I don't want to wake up alone anymore, but I'm tired of being the cause of so much pain.
"Let's go back home... me and you... I'll tell Xiaoyu to leave. She'll understand, I think. And I swear that I won't let anything happen to you."
I don't want to leave from his arms. Promise me you'll take me in them as soon as we reach your appartment. Don't leave me. "Don't leave me..."
"I won't. Let's go back home, Hwoarang... and we'll try to live happily ever after."
"Do you seriously think you can live with me? Won't I be a burden for you?"
"Of course not... why do you think I came here?"
"I don't know..."
"Because I love you. And that I want you back in my life. Please Hwoarang... come back..."
I felt something cold on my shoulder. Tears. I've never seen him cry before... could he love me that much? To the point he'd have no more reasons to live? "Alright..."
"Thank you, koibito. Thank you so much..."
We finally exited the room. The guys were still there, Reiko on the couch, Ran and Seung sitting at the table. I'm physically and mentally tired, I think I'm going to fall asleep in the car.
"Feeling better, Hwoarang?"
I nod. "Yeah." Reiko gave me a big hug before letting me go back to Jin.
"I told you he'd figure it out. You're a lucky guy. Others would've never figured it out, or would have done so too late." He turned to face Jin. "Take good care of him. I know you will, he needs you. And well, I hope we'll see each other again."
"Don't worry Reiko. You're gonna see us again" I told him. "Oh yeah. You won't get rid of me that easily hehehe."
One last hug from the gang and we're off. And Jin didn't seem jealous...
To be continued...
A/N 2 : Don't worry, this fic is FAR from being over. Still have stuff to write XD. Thanks for all the reviews! =D. Next chappie should be up soon. What's going to happen with Xiaoyu?
A/N : Listen to Hoobastank – The Reason while rading this fic. Not a songfic, but I got inspired a bit by it =).
Chapter 16 : Lost and found
Jin's POV
I left in a hurry, not even caring for the laundry or Xiaoyu. Have to get to him as fast as I can, he's crazy enough to kill himself. And if he does... I'll never be able to forgive myself. He was right, and I was wrong, what if he did kill himself already?!!! Please let him be alright.... please... else I don't know what I'm going to do.
An hour ago I was wondering why I was in love with him. Now I'm wondering how I've been such a jerk. I could've avoid all this mess if I'd have looked more carefully! Ah man... I feel terrible. I should've listened to him earlier. Asked him why he did that even though he did nothing, I'd have realized I was wrong. I've seen him cry and I haven't done a single thing. I didn't even try to understand what he was going through. Then if love is blind, rage is probably blind as well. He's the one I love and I just blowed my chance to happiness... and his own happyness as well. Maybe his life.
What on Earth am I going to say to him? That I was wrong and I'm sorry? That I should've been more careful? More attentive? More... oh God...
Maybe the other guys won't even let him see me.
I get out of the car once I reached the good building. Number... 18... or 17... AH DAMMIT! 18 I think. Yeah, 18, now that I remember. When I got to the door... I just stopped moving. What if it's too late? I gotta stop asking myself questions. I MUST go in there. For Hwoarang's sake.
Alright, I'm gonna knock.
"Hai?" It's another guy that opens. The guy on the pic with Hwoarang.
"Is Hwoarang here?"
He cocked his head to the left. "Hmm... yeah he's here, but I would suggest to come back later. His boyfriend just dumped him and well, he's not taking it lightly. Got any message?
"
"I'M his boyfriend. I need to talk to him, quick...!"
"You're that Jin guy then. Yeah, might be better for you to talk to him."
"Who's there, Ran?" another voice asked. Nope, not Hwoarang.
"It's Jin. He wants to talk to Hwoarang. I let him in or what?"
"Of course..."
Ran introduced me to the other young man in the room, Seung. I think Hwoa mentionned him a few times... "The room over there" he said as he pointed to the blue door. Weird colors... nevermind that. I quietly open the door, expecting a dead Hwoarang.
Whew. He's curled up on the bed, Reiko by his side. Heartbroking sight... no they're not doing anything. But Hwoarang looks so sad... take a deep breath Jin. Now go ahead and talk to him. ".... Hwoarang? Could I talk to you...?"
"Jin?" He raises his head. I can see he cried a lot... poor Hwoarang.... I feel so bad. Breaks my heart.
"I'm gonna leave you two alone, warn me if something happens, OK?"
Hwoarang nods, and waits until Reiko is out of the room to come to me and literally jump in my arms, still sobbing. "Hwoarang... I'm so sorry...."
Hwoarang's POV
"I told you I was right.... still you listened to her instead of me. I know you've been knowing her for a long time, still it felt pretty weird. Like I was less... important to you. Like you trusted her more than me..."
"That's where you're wrong, koibito. You're.... my whole life. I love you much more than anything. I'm ready to... to... give up everything for you. So please... come back to me. I need you. And judging by your looks, you need me as well. I refuse to leave you."
"It's because of me you're here. If we hadn't met, you wouldn't be here. You and Xiaoyu'd be living happily ever after. I'm not worthy of being with you..."
He shakes his head. What is he going to say now? "Stop it Hwoarang. Stop blaming yourself for everything, because you know it's not true. It would've happened if I had being with a girl instead. And if it's to be with you all my life, I'm ready to go through that everyday. I love you, Hwoarang."
Why is he in love with me? I'm just a normal guy, I'm not special. Everyone I know or love ends up hurt, and I end up more depressed. "I don't get it... as soon as I'm finally close to someone, this person either leaves me, or end up hurt... even dead... I'm sick of that! That's why I have a hard time dealing with people that want to get close to me. I don't want them hurt anymore..."
"Hwoarang...."
"I'm better off dead, Jin... I don't want to hurt anybody anymore!"
"IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT HWOARANG! That kind of things happen... just... stop blaming yourself."
"I can't... "
"Aww Hwoarang..."
I stayed a long time in his arms. I wasn't really feeling good but I knew I was safe with him. That nothing would happen to me. I don't want to wake up alone anymore, but I'm tired of being the cause of so much pain.
"Let's go back home... me and you... I'll tell Xiaoyu to leave. She'll understand, I think. And I swear that I won't let anything happen to you."
I don't want to leave from his arms. Promise me you'll take me in them as soon as we reach your appartment. Don't leave me. "Don't leave me..."
"I won't. Let's go back home, Hwoarang... and we'll try to live happily ever after."
"Do you seriously think you can live with me? Won't I be a burden for you?"
"Of course not... why do you think I came here?"
"I don't know..."
"Because I love you. And that I want you back in my life. Please Hwoarang... come back..."
I felt something cold on my shoulder. Tears. I've never seen him cry before... could he love me that much? To the point he'd have no more reasons to live? "Alright..."
"Thank you, koibito. Thank you so much..."
We finally exited the room. The guys were still there, Reiko on the couch, Ran and Seung sitting at the table. I'm physically and mentally tired, I think I'm going to fall asleep in the car.
"Feeling better, Hwoarang?"
I nod. "Yeah." Reiko gave me a big hug before letting me go back to Jin.
"I told you he'd figure it out. You're a lucky guy. Others would've never figured it out, or would have done so too late." He turned to face Jin. "Take good care of him. I know you will, he needs you. And well, I hope we'll see each other again."
"Don't worry Reiko. You're gonna see us again" I told him. "Oh yeah. You won't get rid of me that easily hehehe."
One last hug from the gang and we're off. And Jin didn't seem jealous...
To be continued...
A/N 2 : Don't worry, this fic is FAR from being over. Still have stuff to write XD. Thanks for all the reviews! =D. Next chappie should be up soon. What's going to happen with Xiaoyu?