The Eye of the Tiger
"Suzuno…" she heard in the distance the faint cooing of her mother. "Suzuno…"
"Mother?" she called back. "Mother? Where are you?" Her voice echoed in the darkness. She strained her eyes to find the figure that called her name. "Mother are you there?"
From the darkness of her dream shimmered a grove of cherry blossom trees. The path before her was carpeted in soft, sweet grass. Only one pair of footsteps marred its newness. She walked down the path. The trees stirred at the will of the wind as her eyebrows lowered. She had had this dream before. She'd never find her mother. She reached down and picked a dandelion from the base of a cherry blossom tree. She ran her fingers over the downy tuft.
She looked towards the end of the path; one she could only pretend was there. No, this dream would fade away like every other. Her mother would never be at the end of the path. The wind picked up and the cottony tufts flew away. She woke up. Her eyes stared at the ceiling, her palette feeling suddenly uncomfortable. 'How many times have I awoken from the dream?' she wondered. Her eyelids felt heavy and the threat of tears stung her sight.
'And yet I cry every time for the end of the dream.'
"Suzuno! Time to get up!" Her father appeared in the doorway and she quickly turned over to conceal her tears. "Suzuno?" For a moment she thought he had seen her and shut her eyes quickly to let the last of her tears drop to the palette. She heard his footsteps approach from behind her. The weight of his hand laid into her side. Then his fingers tickled her.
"Wake up Suzuno! Wake up or the monster will get you!" She burst into helpless giggles, laughing so hard that her sides hurt. Tears of mirth concealed her tears of sadness. She flipped onto her stomach and her father grinned. "That's one way to wake up a high school student who's trying to sleep in on a school day." She looked into his face and smiled. Though half-hearted, her smile was derived out of pure happiness that her father would always be there for her.
She loved the tickle monster bit he did when she wouldn't wake up. She shook her head and sat up. "All right, I'm up, I'm up." She smiled warmly as her father left the room. She stood before her mirror, not looking in right away. Instead she closed her eyes, like every morning and wished…
"Please, let me beautiful." She said and, skeptical of whether she'd look any different, opened her eyes to see her assumptions confirmed. She was no different than she had been yesterday morning. She scoffed as her eyes slid over her features. Her plain brown hair fell over her back, long and…well…plain. Most of her features were plain right down to her brown eyes. She raised her eyebrows and turned to look at her butt. 'Nope, still average looking…everything average.' she thought to herself.
She left home at the usual time, walking to school by herself, also the usual. Of course, she didn't mind. She had a few friends in the theater program, but they lived further into town. It'd be a stretch to come see her. It was good to have time to gather thoughts and think of the day's lessons before school. But finally getting to see her friends and working with them was the most fun.
She controlled the elements of every theater production in the sound and light booth, high above the stage. She couldn't wait until the talent show this coming week when she could watch all of the talents in the school sing and dance on stage, all under her light and sound specifications. Creating the mood was her specialty but she hated performing. She couldn't stand it.
Besides, she wasn't a dancer or a singer. She was a painter and a writer. She loved to create things and be able to keep them private. Suzuno had always been an introvert and she knew it. But she had no need to be publicly outgoing. She had all the friends she needed. As her father had put it "A few life-long friends is better than friends who will leave you in the dust." She looked at the slowly rising sun and smiled.
She would rather face the sunrises in quiet contemplation anyway. She closed her eyes, inhaling the fresh sunshine and the accompanying morning breeze. Today would be a good day; she was convinced. The wind rustled her braids, the three of them patting her on the back. The fall was always layered beautifully, colorwise and soundwise. There was so much to take in when the leaves turned colors and the sun blazed the treetops in orange. The days were cool and the rustling of animals getting ready for winter and the distant flapping of birds' wings ornamented the whistling zephyr.
But in her pause she felt something…something different. Perhaps it was the unusual warmth of the morning. The sun poured directly at her and bathed her wholly. She realized it was so bright that she had to cover her face. She closed her eyes and burning beneath her eyelids was the shape of an eye, blazing bright orange. The eye disappeared and she opened her eyes to see the sun at its normal brightness.
Her breathing quickened. What was this strange force around her? As she thought the question, a low thumping sounded from beneath the other noises of the world. At first she thought it could have been a woodpecker hammering at some soft wet wood. But the sound was softer and lower, encased in something. Her eyebrows lowered in consideration, her eyes closing again.
Purring. Was there a cat nearby? She turned her ear to the wind. Where was it coming from? Her ears twitched as she sharpened the sense. There was a cat nearby. Her eyes slid open and she looked around her. The world seemed to stand still. The purring rose in volume, reminding her of the rise and fall of the call of a cicada. It grew to a frightfully loud roar. Her schoolbag fell to the ground and her hands flew to her ears.
But just as soon as it had risen to her attention, the roar was gone. Her hands fell at her sides, trembling with fear. Her eyes were wide and alert as she bent to retrieve her bag from the ground. She ran down the path towards the city. When school loomed into view, she pressed herself against the sun-washed brick wall outside of the front entrance. The schoolyard was dotted with scores of girls waiting for the bell to ring. They were all chattering the latest gossip.
She looked out over the crowd. Her attention was caught by a girl's voice behind her. "Suzuno!" Hearing her name from her best friend's lips made her smile and regain some of her composure.
"Camille." Suzuno smiled and turned to meet her. Camille was the everyday mess she usually was. Her hair wasn't combed; her books and papers were half in her arms and half in her school bag. She wore two different stockings. Suzuno shook her head as her friend greeted her with a light-book in hand.
"We have to review the light-book, they've added another act to the talent show." Camille said with concern and need for immediate attention in her voice.
"Well, here, let me take it. I'll take a look. Are there notes from the talent that's performing?" I asked. I took the thick book of paper from her hands and she raked her fingers through her hair.
"It's somewhere." She threw her hands into her school bag, several other papers falling out of her arms as she did so. Suzuno caught them, snickering a bit at her friend's organization skills, or rather lack there of. "Ah! Here it is!" She held out two sheets of paper stapled together in the upper left-hand corner. She smiled; probably glad she could find something in the mess that was bundled in her arms.
"Well I'll get on that and get right back to you, all right?" Suzuno shook her head again as Camille's hold on her school bag buckled. She dropped to her knees and began regathering her stacks of paper. "And let's try and clean you up before lunch okay?" Suzuno giggled and Camille joined in.
"Thanks Suzuno. See you later!" She disappeared in a flurry of paper, pencils, and other accessories. Suzuno slipped the light-book and notes into her bag. The morning bell rang and she was off to class.
The remainder of the day was spent in the normal step of things, class, class, lunch, study hall, class and more class. Study hall and lunch were the best part of the day. Suzuno also enjoyed English class. She was fluent in English, her peers were always jealous when she answered questions with the perfect accent and grammar. But she liked being a bit of a show off. Her intellect, she was convinced, was the only redeemable part of her.
"Oy, Suzuno!" She heard another familiar voice in Study Hall. Alan waved his arms from across the room. He was decently dressed in a pair of long black slacks and a button down dark blue shirt.
"What's the occasion?" Suzuno said as she brought her things over beside Alan's seat.
"I'm making a presentation tonight at open house. The drama club has a table there." He nodded. "Yup I'm a big star now." He grinned. "I get a microphone and everything." He flashed her a cheesy grin. She viewed Alan as a brother and nothing more. But he did look handsome in his outfit today. She neglected to tell him so, being frightfully shy as it was.
"Why didn't Mr. Suzawa ask you to help. You're a veteran of two years." He knew very well why Suzuno didn't do public presentations.
"Well you know how I am with crowds." Suzuno said, leaving it at that.
"Yeah," Alan replied and went back to his work. But minutes later he was casting glances that she noticed out of the corner of her eye.
"What?" She finally snapped. "What is it?" She looked at him, half expecting him to say something stupid.
"You're pretty that's all." He said, his eyes showing no evidence of a joke. Suzuno's own eyes glittered as her cheeks turned a deep scarlet. But carefully trying to cloak her embarrassment, she treated it as a joke and smacked Alan on the back of the head.
"Baka! I'm trying to study, don't bother me." She turned towards her notes again and continued writing absentmindedly. 'Ridiculous.' She told herself. 'It has to be a joke.'
"Suzuno," she heard from the doorway behind her. Junya smiled in all her pretty glory from the doorway and trotted her perfect, shapely figure towards their seats.
"Junya. How did your exam go?" Suzuno referred to one that Junya was scheduled to take as a practice exam for an overseas college.
"Fine, no problem!" She waved off the exam as if it were nothing. She plopped down beside them. She pulled out a sandwich from her bag and began chomping on it. For as perfect as Junya's figure was, her one weakness was food. She was always constantly eating. Suzuno seized her bottle of water from her bag and took a sip. How the excessive consumption of junk food and Junya's perfect curves coexisted escaped Suzuno. But as she did every time she thought about it, she dismissed the enigma to the back of her mind.
"Suzuno. You have to enter the talent show." Suzuno was so appalled at the comment she choked. Water dribbled from the corners of her mouth.
"Are you out of your mind!" She had a death grip on the corner of her desk and on her water bottle.
"Sure! You can recite a poem!" Junya smiled. "Your poems are so beautiful!" She nodded as if to confirm her comment before it was born from her perfect lips, "Everyone would love it!"
"Absolutely not!" Suzuno said without thinking about what she was saying.
"Now Suzuno, you know better than to try saying no to me. I bet by this time tomorrow you'll want to be in the talent show more than anything in the world. I'm doing a dance and Alan is doing is monologue." She smiled.
"Junya…" She sucked in a breath. "Even if I wanted to be in the talent contest, I couldn't. I have to run the light and sound." She pulled her light-book out of her bag as a backbone to the statement. "Look at all this work I have to do! No!" She opened the light-book and stared blankly at it. Now she was making excuses.
For a minute she let her mind wander at the possibility. She could see herself reciting a poem and then there would be applause from the audience, roaring cheers and whistling. Her eyes lit up and she struggled not to smile at the scene in her mind. She wanted the world to hear her. She wanted to be known as more than someone behind the scenes, as a person with deep feelings that could be heard just as good as a song or a dance interpretation. This made her fingers itch to write.
The talent notes caught her gaze. No… she'd never be able to get over her fear of the stage… or more importantly, her fear of ridicule. She had to do light and sound. No one could replace her. There was no way. Was there? …