The door swung open. Dallas swung the blade toward his throat. He felt the sharp blade touch his skin...
"No!"
Something slammed into his side and he fell to the floor with a groan. Automatically he reached out and shoved whatever was on top of him.
The figure fell back, but came at him again a moment later. He wrestled with Dal, trying to get the knife out of his hand. Dallas slugged him, but the guy hung on. They rolled over and over on the floor, kicking and punching. The figure reared back and slugged Dallas on the jaw. It momentarily stunned him, and the guy had time to wrestle the knife out of Dal's hand.
The figure stepped off of him, and Dal just lay there, gasping for breath. He finally focused in on the figure, and he groaned. Rolling over he made his way to his knees, his ribs throbbing in pain. After a while he got up the courage to look up at the figure sitting on the bed.
Jason stared at Dallas. Then he glanced at the blade in his own hand. There was a painfully long silence until Dal finally broke it.
"What are you doing here?"
Jason remained silent, flicking his gaze between the blade and Dallas, who looked back down at the floor. At last he said softly, "Mom just called some guys from her work. That's all."
The greaser looked up sharply and his hand trembled an instant before he stilled it. He considered what Jason had said. Lisa didn't call the cops. They don't know I'm a criminal. But then, how did he know this was because of Lisa calling somebody?
"Guys from work?" he questioned angrily as he sat down on the bed.
Jason gave a weak smile. "Yeah, Mom saw some problems at the store, and when she came home and started working in the study something must've got screwed up big because she was in a panic."
The door opened again. Dal stood up abruptly. Jason hurriedly shut the blade and put it in his back pocket. Lisa was in the doorway.
"What is going on here?" she demanded, gazing over the two bruised and tired boys. Both remained silent.
Jason studied Dal, then said, "Nothing, Mom," over his shoulder. "Dallas just tripped and I was helping him up."
Dal examined the boy sitting next to him. Jason's expression was neutral, but his blue eyes held a mischievous glint in them. He's giving me an opportunity to escape! He didn't know why Jason was doing it, but he was going to go along with it.
"What?! You tripped me up on purpose. So I punched you in the gut." he retorted scathingly.
Jason grinned at his reply, and Dallas found himself giving a shaky smile in return. He couldn't figure this guy out. Once again, he had saved Dallas from having to answer any questions. Why?
Lisa crossed her arms, studying the pair. "Tell me what really happened."
"Mom, I told you, nothing. Dal tripped and he thought I had something to do with it so he punched me. We got in a scuffle and then we came to our senses. That's all."
Lisa stared at them disbelievingly. But then she just rolled her eyes. "Whatever. I don't have time to worry about you two, so you better be telling the truth." Neither boy said anything. "Well then, I'm going back and work with the guys. No more scuffles, hear me?" She left the room closing the door behind her.
Silence filled the room. Both didn't know what to say and the tension built up. Finally Dally broke it as he asked, "What'd you come in for?"
Jason stood up. "Well, Mom wanted everyone to stay out of the way for a while, and I sure didn't want to help Lori unpack," he made a face, "so I thought you might like to get out of this house and take a walk around the neighborhood."
Dal ran a hand through his hair as he slowly nodded. A he made his way to his feet, he felt his knees tremble a bit. He was shaking from the experience. Jason pretended not to notice.
He had expected to feel disappointment that he hadn't been able to kill himself, but what he felt was not that. When he had seen that it was Jason and not the cops there had been a flash of something before he had quickly buried it. Relief.
Relief? Why wasn't he angry? Shouldn't he be angry? Guess some part of me actually wants to stay alive. He knew which part, too. The part that missed the gang and wanted more than anything to see them again was happy that it was Jason. But the part that couldn't take life without Johnny was disappointed at the missed opportunity.
Dally shook himself out of his thoughts. He had missed his chance, too bad, but it was time to get back to business. And right now, his business was to keep his charade up with this family. Though how well it was working against them, who could tell?
Collecting himself together with the mask in place, he followed the taller boy out of the house. As he walked down the front steps he happened to glance at the house. The beauty of the red bricks and the white-fenced porch made him shake his head in disbelief. Still shaking his head, he caught up with Jason.
"Y'all sure must be rich to afford that house."
Jason looked up at his house then shook his head. "No, we're not rich. Just... well-to-do."
Dal rolled his eyes. "Well, well-to-do in my book is just a fancy word for rich." He spit the word out as if it was something disgusting he had to get out quickly.
Mathews gave him a sideways glance. "You got a vendetta against rich people?"
Dal looked at him in puzzlement. "Vendetta?" he questioned.
"Vendetta..." the dark blonde raked a hand through his hair, trying to find words, "uh... a quarrel, a feud."
"Oh. Well, you could say that." Dal's mind flashed back to Johnny, held in Soda's arms, his entire body covered in blood and bruises, and the glaring cuts on his face. His fists clenched as his body tensed.
"They lord it over all of us. They have it so easy, yet they still have to complain about every little thing that messes up their perfect little lives. They've got so much money it's disgusting." They're the reason Johnny's dead. They're the reason I'm stuck with this family and trying to find a way to kill myself.
Dal thought for a couple of minutes. Then he said quietly, almost to himself, "The middle probably has it easiest. They don't have to worry about what class they're in. They don't have to worry about being beat up... or having their friends beat up." His voice quivered for a moment, but he controlled it and went on, "Then they also don't have to worry about keeping up their stupid reputation as the rich kid. They don't have to go around showing off how much better they have it than you." His voice grew bitter.
Jason watched him silently. Dallas didn't know it, but he was letting more of himself show at that moment than he would have ever wanted anyone to see in a lifetime. Jason's dark blue eyes took in the kid before him. But instead of commenting on what he saw, he tried to lighten the mood.
"Well, that's perfect for me then. See we really aren't rich. We're just plain middle class." He grinned.
The greaser gave a small smile in return. They walked on in silence, past several more houses that were also middle class. It was a pretty day, sun out with only a couple of clouds and a nice breeze to keep them from getting hot.
It had only been about fifteen minutes, but Dallas was tiring, and Jason saw it. "Come on, let's get back." They turned and headed back to the house. Halfway there, though, Dal doubled over. He hunched over, grimacing at the pain in his ribs, which had been steadily building with every step.
"Man, you should be a football player," he grunted. "You got a great tackle."
Jason put an arm around Dallas and put one of Dal's arms around him. "Sorry 'bout that. I should've remembered your broken ribs. Do we need to rest a bit or can you make it back?"
"Just help me get there, man." Dallas grimaced as Jason pulled him up. Leaning against him, they slowly made their way back to the house.
Once there, Jason set Dal down on the bed. He got some more pills and Dallas took them. Lisa called for her son, so as soon as Dallas appeared in less pain, Jason left to help his mother and her friends. He had kept the switchblade.
Dallas lay back on the bed. His ribs were still in some pain, but his emotions were in worse shape. His hands still had a little shake from the experience. He didn't have his switchblade so he couldn't try it again. But right now, Dallas wasn't so sure he could've been able to. He clenched his fists to control the shaking.
........
Soda held Johnny gently in his lap as Johnny told his story. Johnny tried to control the tears but they fell anyway. As Johnny spoke, Dallas felt stabs of guilt. He hadn't been there for him. When Johnny had needed him most, he hadn't been there.
They were at the drive-in. Dallas was annoying the girl. Johnny told him to leave her alone. Dallas would have hit any other person who dared to tell him what to do, but he couldn't hit Johnny so he left. Pony and Johnny walked the girls home.
Ponyboy was being drowned by the soc. Johnny was defending him and somehow he killed a soc.
Johnny was rushing in the church to save those kids. Dallas was too late to grab him.
Johnny, a nervous wreck after his beating.
Dal leaving, the boys being beat up, Johnny killing the soc.
Johnny crying as he told his story to the gang. He hadn't been there.
Pony drowning, Johnny killing the soc. Dal had left them.
The boys taking off to save the kids. Dallas too late to grab them.
He hadn't been there. He had left them. He had been too late to grab them.
Not there... left...too late...Johnny bruised and beaten...Johnny defending...Johnny killing...Johnny saving...Johnny dying...
Hadn't been there... leaving them...too late...Johnny dying...Dal too late...too late...he had left them...too late...
"Dallas."
"No, no."
Leaving them...not there...too late...not there...too late... leaving them...Johnny dying...
"Dallas."
"Dallas! Wake up!"
He awoke with a start, his eyes shooting open. His breath was coming in short gasps and he was drenched in sweat. He closed his eyes, trying to shake off the dream. He took a breath then opened his eyes and focused on the girl before him.
Carly stared at him, her hazel eyes as wide as saucers.
"You were having a nightmare!" she exclaimed, her skinny frame bobbing up and down in excitement. "I've never heard someone have a nightmare before. Was it scary?"
He didn't respond. Dal closed his eyes and ran a hand across his face. Then slowly, shakily, he pushed himself into a sitting position.
Carly, oblivious to his distress, hopped up and sat on the bed next to Dal's legs. Leaning forward she said, "Dinner's almost ready. You missed lunch, ya know. Slept for seven straight hours."
Dallas took a deep breath. "I'll be there in a minute."
Carly jumped off the bed and ran to the door. She turned sharply and called to him on her way out, "Mama says for you to wash up, too!"
Dallas leaned his head back against the boards. He ran his hands through his hair. The dream was still with him. He couldn't get the pictures out of his head. It wasn't just a dream. It wasn't a nightmare he could just wake himself out of. This was real.
He was responsible for Johnny's death. If he hadn't been annoying those girls, Johnny and Pony would never have met them and got into all this trouble. If he hadn't left, they boys wouldn't have been beaten up and Johnny wouldn't have killed the soc. If he had reached out faster he could've stopped the boys from going into the fire.
He shouldn't have annoyed on those girls. He shouldn't have left. If he hadn't done those things, Johnny would still be alive. He wasn't just a criminal who had robbed a store. He was a murderer. A murderer didn't deserve to live. His hand reached around for the knife in his pocket. But then he remembered. Jason had it.
He couldn't go back to the gang now. He was the reason they were in all the trouble they were in. He was responsible for bringing all these worries down on them. He was responsible for killing the heart of the gang. He had killed Johnny. The gang had to hate him. Surely they knew he was responsible by now.
He didn't deserve to live. His hand moved again to his pocket. He didn't deserve to live, but he had nothing to kill himself with. He would have to wait and get his knife back from Jason.
Dal got up from the bed and made his way to the bathroom. His body was doing all this on its own. His mind wasn't capable of functioning. He turned on the faucet and started washing his hands. When he had finished, he splashed some water on his face. The coldness of the water snapped his mind out of the daze it had been in.
He made his way to the dining room, the mask back in place. A part of his mind wondered why he was still going through with all of this. But instinct was making him do this and Dallas Winston had lived on his instincts his entire life. He couldn't stop now.
He sat down in his chair, oblivious to all the happy hubbub around him. He sat, slumped, throughout the prayer, and only half-heartedly did he reach for the plates of food. And he only reached because instincts told him he had to try to keep up his charade. Only if he kept up the charade would he have a chance to get the knife back from Jason.
The banter floated around the room. With Lori back, the whole family seemed reenergized. Occasionally Jason would glance concernedly in Dal's direction, but he never commented on it.
Once Carly turned to him and asked, "Who's Johnny?"
Dallas started.
"Who's Johnny?" she asked again. "You kept saying Johnny when you were having your nightmare."
He kept his attention on his plate, not looking up. "Nobody," he snapped.
Carly giggled. "Of course he's somebody. So who is he?"
Lori had seen Dallas's flinch, and now she leaned over to Carly and pulled one of her braids sharply.
"Hey!" Carly reached over, got a handful of Lori's mass of brown curls, and jerked it down.
"Ouch!"
And with Carly's attention diverted elsewhere, so ended her questions about Johnny. The talk continued to circle around the table. Lisa started telling about what had gone wrong at work to Brian.
"Well, when I got home, I went on my computer to see about the sales. Something went wrong somehow, and a bunch of the sales records had just disappeared. I searched all over and couldn't find it. I called the manager at the store, and he went on the computer there and couldn't find them either. So he, Mike, and Shawn came over here. We combed through every file, and we even had Jason come in and help us. Finally we found the records; I guess someone had placed them in a wrong file. But I tell you, I almost had a heart attack when that happened."
"Oh," she directed her gaze over to Dal, "I was wondering if you wanted to come help me in the store, Dallas."
Dal sent her a glare that left no doubt what he thought about that.
But she already knew how to handle him. "See, a couple of guys quit a few days ago, and I haven't found replacements yet. Lori's helping too, so you won't be alone. And I'd pay you."
"Yippee," he said sarcastically.
"Well, everyone is going to be gone from this house tomorrow," she stated irritably. "It's either work with me, or help out with Brian at the hospital."
Dallas didn't answer; he just twirled his fork around his plate, resting his head in his hand.
Brian stared at him for a second, then cleared his throat.
"Dallas, I called your dad this morning." At the mention of his dad, Dallas looked up. "He gave me a message for you."
Darry's going to tell me to never come back. I was the cause of Johnny's death and all that Ponyboy had to go through. The gang hates me now.
"Your dad said that he misses you." Brian thought for a moment to remember exactly what the message said. "And he also said that you have friends that love you and need you to come home."
Dallas swallowed hard, carefully controlling his emotions. The feelings the message evoked couldn't be shown here. He didn't respond to Brian and his face betrayed nothing, but later throughout the meal, he sat up straighter, and he ate his food instead of pushing it around.
.......
Midnight. The entire household was asleep at this hour. All but one. Dallas was still up, pacing around the room. His hands combed and combed through his hair as his mind raced.
The gang didn't hate him. They didn't hate him! Not only did they not hate him, they missed him and needed him to come back! He couldn't believe it.
What was he going to do now? Everything had changed. He was so confused. At first he wanted to kill himself and he had had the chance, then he wasn't sure if he wanted to, then he wanted so badly to but he didn't have a weapon, and now he still didn't have a weapon and he had no idea what he wanted to do.
He had to sort this out. He was the cause of Johnny's death, he knew that. But the gang still wanted him back. With Johnny gone he didn't want to live, but the gang wanted and needed him. But how could he live without Johnny?
But then, how could he die knowing the gang still needed him? No, he couldn't kill himself. Dal stopped pacing and his hands fell to his sides. He had been selfish before and Johnny had died because of it. He shouldn't've purposely annoyed those girls at the drive-in; he knew Pony and Johnny wouldn't like it. He shouldn't've left when Johnny had stood up to him. He had been selfish by leaving.
Well, he wasn't going to be selfish again. It would be selfish to end his life now when he knew the gang needed him. He had already caused the gang enough trouble and pain. He wouldn't add to it. He would stay alive. And he would go back to the gang. The gang needed him and he was going back. They deserved that much.
Well, I'm sorry I kept you waiting so long for this chapter, especially after a cliff hangar. But I made this one a little longer, so I hope you liked it.
Thank you for your reviews. Sorry if some of y'all thought the blackmail was serious; it was meant as a joke more than anything else. But the blackmail worked, 'cause I got so many reviews! Maybe I should keep using blackmail. But I won't have to resort to that if you review, so please review!
sodapop02- Well, you have your answer about the cops. Hope you liked it. Thank you for being the first person to review. It made my day!
Beth- You don't know how happy you made me with that review! I hope you liked the descriptions. There weren't that many in this chapter, but there'll be more in later chaps. Thank you for answering my questions about Dally. Thank you so much for that review, and I hope you like the chapter!
Ryuuen no Aisai- Thanks for the review. I'm flattered you say you love it. Sorry I took a while to update.
steves-girl- Thank you so much! You have reviewed every chapter so far. I hope you had fun on your holidays. Thanks for the compliments on the story. With any luck, you don't get disappointed, and you continue to like the story!
sully- Well, sorry 'bout the cliff hangar. I didn't mean for you to have to wait so long for the next chap. The blackmail wasn't really serious, but hey, look how many people review when they think I might not update soon. I may just continue using it. Kidding.
Tensleep- Thank you for your concern. I'm glad you think Dallas was perfect in this chapter. Yeah, Dally and Carly are always fun to put together, mainly because of Dally's hatred of little kids. Thanks for the review! You've reviewed every chapter so far, too! I love you guys!
MissLKid- I'm glad you like the story. I've tried to make this story different than the others, but I don't know how well I'm doing. At least I know one person thinks I'm doing okay. =] Thanks for the review!
shyXshortieXbabe- Thanks for reviewing. I'm delighted you think it's cute. =} Thanks for the compliment about Dal's personality. I try hard to keep true to the characters. Hopefully, Dal doesn't turn into a softie. You never know...(
Okay, guys, I need your reviews. This isn't blackmail. This is just a simple observation. When a person gets feedback, be it good or bad, this makes the person happy because that person knows that somebody out there is reading their story. And when they know someone's reading their story, they tend to have more inspiration, write better, write faster, and post faster. This is just a simple observation.
Thanks to all of you who reviewed. And thanks to Scarlett7 who continues to make this story better than it could possibly be without her. And for those of you who liked having some descriptions in this chapter, be sure to thank Beth. She reviewed, she critiqued me, and I decided to put more descriptions in my story. There weren't that many in this chap, but probably there'll be in later chaps. So, give both of them a round of applause!