DISCLAIMER: Legal blah blah blah, no, I don't own them - Saban Entertainment and Tatsunoko are the owners of Tekkaman Blade, the characters (except for the ones that belong to ME) belong to them.

FINAL GOODBYES

Written by Star
E-mail: star_aki@hotmail.com

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Part 2 ~ THE LAST CARTER

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"Remember yesterday, think of tomorrow, but live today."

October 3, 2118, a beautiful autumn day. With the richness of my surroundings, I should be appreciating its true beauty. Standing by the ocean, resting against the tree that overlooks my family home, I feel nothing but emptiness. As if the Earth feels my pain, it sends a cool, yet surprisingly warm breeze. It doesn't do any good. How can it help? Today we layed my mother to rest, next to her one and only true love.

Yes, I shed tears - who wouldn't. My mother was such a strong woman. After my father died, she continued on like he said. I wish I knew him but he died before I was born. Mom often said, 'The only reason I continue to live, is to see you grow up to be the man your father was. You just being here makes me happy, honey.' I often wondered if I would ever grow up to be like Dad - a man I never knew.

It seems everyone knew him. Everyone that is, except me, his son. I never got the chance to know him, talk to him; it annoys me that absolute strangers can talk about their experiences with him. They know more about my own father than I do. Admiration is always in their voices whenever they discuss the man that is my father, pain when they talk about Mom. Your poor mother, how is she? It's so sad, to think that she lost her love when they had their entire lives in front of them. She's had such a tough life, but she's a strong woman because of it. A young single mother, raising the child borne of such a special and beautiful love, how proud she must be of you.

He's sitting in Mom's chair, the one by the fire - he just looks lost. The closest thing I have to a father, he was Mom's best friend, and I know he wanted to be more but Mom still loved my dead father. I can remember asking him, Are you my Daddy? I also remember the pained look in Mom's eyes when I said that. Painfully evident in his, too. There was so much in his eyes, such torment and passion. My mother was either oblivious or chose to ignore this.

You know Nick, I just can't believe she's gone.

Yeah, it is hard to grasp. How you doing Uncle Ringo?

Well, to be honest Nick...

Don't worry forget I asked.

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In her room, on her bed, I sit. Just remembering her - her smile, her voice, just her. I remember how hard it was for people to make her laugh, and how she would try to hide it. I was the only who could make her laugh - really laugh, not a fake laugh. I remember her melancholy moods and how she would stare at the photo of the original Space Knights, and hatefully at the full moon. I remember the Halloween my voice finally cracked, and I wore Dad's uniform - the uniform of Teknoman Blade the Space Knight. She stared wistfully at me - I know I look like him. The same height, build, black hair, green eyes...there was a time I wish I didn't, because I thought it made her sad, but then she told me, Don't be ashamed to look like your father, and don't ever believe that looking at you gets me upset, honey. Yes, you look like you handsome father, but that makes me happy, because I know that he will always be with me, through you. I will always love you because you are my son, but also, because Blade lives through you. His life was not lived in vain. I remember, the song she would sing to me, 'Bold Soldier Boy', before putting me to sleep when I was very young. I couldn't understand how she could look so beautiful and sad at the same time, it seemed unfair. She would look so sad whenever she opened her photo album - her war album'. Most of the pictures were either of her and Uncle Ringo joking around, or of Dad. At the end of the album were a few pictures of Mom and Dad together, anyone could see how much he loved her even though she would tell me that he tried to deny it to protect her.

Mom went on to continue Dad's dream, she became the Space Knight's Commander after Jamison faded from the photos. She even became a Teknoman to help. A Teknoman of red and gold; the avenging archangel of loyalty. When the Radam landed on Earth for the first time in twenty years - years ago now, she took all her rage out on them. Poor bastards, I felt sorry for them...only a little. They'd taken something from me too.

When I was fifteen, the alien fleet was discovered behind Pluto and attacked one of the space stations. Then, the strangest thing happened to me, a crystal materialised in the palm of my hand! I thought I was going crazy, but when I showed Mom the crystal, she just smiled and looked at the picture hanging on the wall - Dad as Teknoman Blade. What even surprised me more, was that I had the same emerald crystal as him! Mom later told me, that she had theorised that the Teknoprocess can become hereditary. So not only was I to look like my father, I was to fight like him too! It was a little weird at the beginning, but I cope with it very well now. Mom didn't let any of the higher-ups find out about my little secret until the Radam landed on earth. I was eighteen; the same age Dad was when he started his fight with the aliens. Only, I had an advantage Dad never had, I didn't have any brother's to kill to protect the Earth; nor witness my sister's death. I still couldn't get over those details of 'Dad's War'. What would that do to a person?

I remember the first day I transformed outside of the special training ground Mom and Uncle Ringo had built inside the Command Centre; when I flew into battle, everyone thought that I was Blade; back from the dead to protect the Earth once more. Spooky thought, a ghost killing off aliens. Whenever I looked at my beautiful mother, I saw the pride and happiness, but a touch of sorrow in her beautiful face. Even so, she would smile one of those amazing smiles and I have to admit, it was for those smiles I continued to fight. In honour of my father, my codename was Blade. For some strange reason I have yet to understand, Mom would call me Phoenix. I guess I'll never know now.

I didn't like everyone fussing over me. People always fussed over me because I'm Blade's Son', but even more so when I started fighting the aliens. You're more like your father than I ever could've dreamed. He hated all the attention too. He always used to say I m nobody special, I'm just doing what anyone would do if they were in my position'. He could never understand it either nor did he want too. Mom was always saying something like that. She was so understanding, no wonder Dad depended on her so much. I admit though, I must have had an easier experience with the Radam than Dad must have had. The Earth was so prepared this time, mind you, we had years to do that. In 2087, Earth never even knew life existed anywhere else until giant spidercrabs started to tear up the planet. I never, out of desperation, had to take an evolutionary process that would eventually kill me. Thankfully, I didn't have to kill any members of my family either, not that I had any other blood family members. How did Dad do it?

I often wonder what life would've been like if he'd lived on. Dad seemed to have more lives than a cat, why couldn't he just live on a little longer? Mom would've smiled a hell of a lot more, and gone to bed without crying herself to sleep. Maybe Uncle Ringo would've been able to move on and find someone else instead of pining over a woman too loyal to move on, even from a dead love. There was always something inside me that wished she could let go of Dad's memory, and find happiness with Uncle Ringo - anything would've been better than to see her the way she was. Whenever I look at the pictures of Mom growing up with Uncle Ringo, or hear stories of those times, I often wonder what happened to that bright little Star - always appearing so mischievous. That's dumb, of course I understand why she was like that. If my wife ever died, I'd just want to follow...

You know Nick, I admire your mother for her loyalty. Your Dad was one lucky fella. More so if he'd stayed alive.

Uncle Ringo, have you ever resented my Father?

Blade...was the brother I never had. Sure, he captured the heart of the only woman I loved, but no, I never have nor ever will hate him. Star was the type of woman to go down with the ship; she was the epitome of loyalty. Still trying to figure out what type of man your father was, hey?

Yeah. Everyone says you can't miss what you've never had, but...

It ain't always true. I often wonder if Blade resented me taking his place.

But, you and Mom never...

As a father to you, Nick.

He looks uneasy and stands up wiping invisible dust from his pants.

You've never called me Dad and I've never wanted to take that away from Blade, but I've always felt that you and I had that sort of Father-Son relationship.

Yeah, you're right. I wonder if Mom knew that too...

I wonder if that ever made her resent me?

Mom wasn't exactly the type of woman to hide her true feelings, if you pissed her off, you'd know about it for sure.

Yeah...heh...boy, did she let it rip sometimes. I'm sorry you never knew Blade, you two are like peas in a pod, you and your Dad. You look so much like him it's incredible, not to mention his temper...I know where you get that from."

"I always thought I had Mom's temper..."

"No chance! You have Blade's temper, for sure. Star, the pressure would build up like a volcano...and erupt violently. Blade, well, let's just say that he like you just need one thing to tick him off, you wouldn't want to get in his hair on a bad day. Joking aside, he was a great man and would've made a great father.

Yeah, I wonder what it would've been like to have him around. It's an interesting thought; him teaching me to shave instead of Uncle Ringo; him playing ball with me, him and Mom instructing me together with my martial arts; him in battle with me as well as Mom...this type of talk does nobody good. I've got to concentrate on the future, got to continue what my parents started. Still, you can't help but wonder what life would've been like.

Maybe, she wouldn't have been such a cold woman - not to me, but to others. She was the most respected woman on the face of the planet, no one dared to fuck with my mother - she'd kill them. Not a bad role model to grow up with, though I had many. Whenever I look back at the videos of the first Radam war, I see Mom as a totally different person; she was emotional with everyone, especially when it came to Dad, very open with what she thought and felt, smiling hopefully all the time, keeping the team's morale up. Though one thing remained constant; her strong will and determination. It's just a shame that the beautiful young woman that was Star Summers, was sacrificed because of a lost love...

Don't even try to piece your mother together Nick, you'll give yourself a migraine.

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Daddy!! Daddy!! Where's gramma?

Yeah Daddy! Where's Gramma?

Sorry Nick, they just stormed right up here, they must've thought they were here to see Star...oh...Good afternoon Ringo, are you feeling any better?

No, but I'll be up and about soon enough. How are my favourite twins today, hmm? My, my, Shara, your hair has grown!

I'm Miisha, Unca Ringo.

Oh dear, I seemed to have lost my ability with beautiful women. Excuse me, Miisha, your hair has grown!

Thankyou Unca Ringo.

"What about my hair Unca Ringo?"

"Absolutely beautiful, Shara!" Little devil, smiling wickedly like that. Boy am I gonna need a gun when she starts dating!

Fine young girls Nick. How much longer until the next one's born?

Not long now. How are you feeling now Natasha?

Don't worry about me love, I'll be fine." Liar, I know your back's aching, that's why you're rubbing it. "So what are your plans now Ringo?

Well, I guess I'll take Star's place at the base, but I don't think there's gonna be much Radam activity now. Not after the last war with them.

Yeah, we snuffed em out good. Well, you are free to keep living here Uncle Ringo.

I don't want to feel like a burden...

Ringo, the girls' grandmother was just taken away from them, are you going to take the only grandfather they've known?

I'm not really their grandfather. You really should let your old man meet his granddaughters, Natasha.

Star knew not to bug me about my father, Ringo, don't be a pain in the ass.

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I turn off after awhile, and I take the girls outside to see their grandparents graves again; one they knew and loved, the other they knew only through stories and images. They sit by Mom's grave and talk' to her. I stand a little distance back, just so I can see both of my parents' graves. As usual, that wistful feeling comes back to haunt me that always does when I stand by Dad's grave. When I was growing up, I'd sit out here and pretend he was here, that he could talk to me, tell me all the comforting things that I needed to hear. If things ever got rough for me, I'd imagine he'd be able to make it all go away. I used to pretend that he'd just jump out of his grave and return like a triumphant hero; he never did. My eyes just mist when I look at Mom's. A yearning so strong that I can't describe floods my body, but I break out of my trance, thanks to my little girls.

Daddy, please tell Gramma to come back! We'll be good little girls. We promise not to play dress-ups anymore with her uniform, or use her lipstick as lightsabres...please Daddy! We want to hear her stories! A story about Grappa again!

How do you explain to five-year-olds about death? That it wasn't anything they did or said, but that's just the way life was. Then I remembered one of Mom's stories of how Dad turned into a spirit to watch over me. For the girls, I changed the spirit to Gramma'.

Gramma was very tired, girls, she worked very hard and needed a sleep. Because she was so tired, she slept for a long time. In this sleep, she dreamt of all the people she loved...

Why don't you just wake her up Daddy? Miisha definitely had her Grandmother's inquisitive nature.

Wake up Gramma! Wake up! I wish it was just that simple Shara, but it's not. I pick her up from Mom's grave and sit down with the two girls on my lap.

What happened in Gramma's dream? Miisha and Shara's identical faces stare back at me.

In her dreams, she dreamed of all the people she loved; Grandpa Blade was there, you both, your Mother, I was there and so was Uncle Ringo. Up in the clouds, she soared with God's Angels, but missed us. She wanted to be with all of us and asked if she could, always. Because she had worked so hard, her wish was granted and was turned into an Angel...

So she could always be there if we needed her, Daddy! Gramma used to say that about Grappa!

Is Gramma with Grappa now, Daddy?

Yes, and we have to be happy for her, okay girls? If we aren't happy for Gramma, she won't be happy, and won't have happy dreams.

Will Gramma have a nightmare?

My two girls, where would I be today if not for them? Thanks to my Mom, my children will grow up knowing their mother and father. I should be happy for Mom; she's with Dad now, although I do feel sorry for Uncle Ringo. His life certainly didn't turn out the way he would've wanted. For Mom, I'll be content with the way she lived her life. She was unhappy, but she continued on after Dad died, raised me and lived through another nightmare of spidercrabs and alien Teknomen. I have so much more than Mom did when Dad died, I have to remember that, but, she was my mother and I'll always miss her. Yet, Mom wouldn't really want me to pine away for her and neglect my family. I guess I'm just going to have to get used to the idea of not having her with me anymore. That makes me feel sick just by saying that, but, I'm just going to have to pick myself up and live my life; watch my kids grow. I'll stay affiliated with the Space Knights; it is after all, in my blood. Natasha and I will watch our grandchildren grow, and tell them our own stories; our parents stories. An endless cycle, is there any end?

Uncle Ringo comes out and gives me a letter he said Mom wanted me to have. He looks very depressed lost. I thank him and he goes inside, saying...

This letter should be read alone, not with some old coot of a messenger standing over your shoulder. I hope whatever's inside helps you find some peace.

I'd be lucky if anything would. I know I have so much here, a loving wife, two beautiful daughters, another child on the way, a future...but life just won't be the same without Mom, she is a huge reason we can enjoy peace. One by one, they drop like flies. Soon, none of them will be left. It all started with Dad's death, then Jamison's, Tina's, now Mom...not many of the original 'Spidercrab Extermination Team' left now. Earth's heroes are fading...soon just a distant memory...

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Nick, honey, what's wrong? What are you reading?

Something Dad must've written to Mom before he died. I choke out. My wife looks sympathetic of course, knowing I'm hurting something terrible. Natasha comes to embrace me and I feel our child move and amazement takes control of me. Dad's words return. I wonder if Dad ever imagined the great impact of his words? Could he have known that his words would ease people's pain, caused by death? I wonder if he knew his words would help his own son, a son he didn't know would be born? No, how could he? Amazing though, that Dad could help me, without even knowing me, twenty-eight years after his death. Okay Dad, I'll shed my tears and remember Mom, I'll let her rest peacefully. I know you'll take care of her, and she'll tell you all about me.

Natasha and I watch the setting of the sun; I think of all our tomorrows. I promise Natasha that we'll watch all the sunsets from now on, together, knowing who else is watching them at the moment. I smile as I feel the soothing warmth in the breeze - I just know that it's Mom telling me I'm right. I know she's happy, so I'm happy.

One day, we'll all be reunited. I wait for that day too.

~End part 2