No

by sophiethejoker

Writing with form, perhaps a poem. Because I just said 'No' to him. Anti-religious.

I feel that empty too.

I feel that lonely too.

I feel that dead too.

But I don't lie back and let that golden light fill me.

Because I want to long for things, I want to create meanings, I want to make myself live.

I don't lay back and let him take me.

I don't thank him for giving me everything.

I make something of my everything.

I can't deal with it too.

I can't bear it too.

I can't live with it too.

I pray desperately when it's all too much.

I hide so hard from reality that when I start staring it in the eye I hide in him.

I'm not going to find him because I don't want to.

I want to be strong enough to see how ultimately alone I am.

I am myself. That is not enough.

But he cannot complete me. Nothing can.

It seems enough when I accept the truth.

God is dead.